Bringing Up Baby New Year & Frisky Business Read online

  Last night, she’d felt very sure that loving and losing was better than never having loved at all.

  That was last night. This morning, as she looked over at Joe sleeping next to her and realized that soon this passionate man would be gone from her life, she didn’t feel so very sure of herself. Time to pay the piper, and she was fresh out of gold coins. And not a leprechaun in sight.

  Only one thing for it, she decided as she crept quietly out of his bed, slipped into the robe she’d left on the floor, and tiptoed out of the room. Sort of like closing the barn door after the horse had escaped, but better than leaving the barn door wide open for the chill wind to blow inside. She’d loved, and now she must prepare herself to lose. For that, she’d have to stay out of Joe’s bed from now on.

  He wouldn’t like it. She wouldn’t like it much, either, but she hadn’t figured on how quickly she’d bond to this man. One brief interlude in his arms and she was ready to abandon every ounce of her pride and beg him to stay with her forever. The words had trembled on her lips several times while she and Joe had been locked in passion. She’d managed to suck them back inside her lips and swallow them, though it had nearly choked her.

  However, if she allowed herself to be locked in passion with him a few more times, she might not be able to control those pleading words. Even now they hammered inside her heart, demanding to get out. Words of love and commitment. Words Joe didn’t want to hear, and had no intention of saying, either.

  By being very quiet, she managed to dress herself and Gus without waking Joe. She packed Gus’s food in the little cooler she carried to her cleaning jobs and checked her wallet to make sure she had enough money to pick up a fast-food breakfast for herself. Then she took the keys to Joe’s truck from the hook in the kitchen and slipped out the front door.

  At five in the afternoon, when she dragged herself and Gus back to Joe’s house, she felt raw, like a sheep that had been shorn in the dark of winter, as her da used to say. She wanted to crawl under a soft wool blanket and sleep forever.

  But there was no time for that. Tannenbaum was bustling. Trucks equipped with cranes sat at each intersection. Men hoisted high in the buckets by the cranes were stringing lights around the sixty-foot Aleppo pines that grew on each corner and helped give Tannenbaum its Christmas-tree look.

  That morning, the front yards had all been bare. It so happened that the two houses she’d cleaned today didn’t care about the competition and had put up last year’s decorations—a family of snow people in one case and a cowboy Christmas theme in the other, featuring a buckboard and a tumbleweed tree. Both were nice enough and would satisfy the deed restriction requiring a yard display.

  But Darcie paid them little attention. As she drove through the subdivision at lunch, and again when she finished her second house, she evaluated the displays that weren’t repeats from previous years, the ones that were obviously in contention for the grand prize.

  By the time she pulled into the driveway of Joe’s house, she was in a black mood from seeing all the elaborate decorations in the rest of the subdivision. Noticing that Joe was just now carrying the backdrop out of the garage didn’t lift her spirits, either. She chanced a peek across the street to the Elderhorns, expecting a wondrous decoration to be rising from their perfectly groomed grass, as well.

  To her total amazement, the Elderhorns’ yard was a scene of mass confusion with the display only partly erected. Herman and Madge scurried around getting tangled in strings of lights and bumping into each other.

  A sign announcing Christmas in Space was staked into the ground, but the lights Darcie assumed would outline the letters weren’t working yet. A pile of red in one corner of the yard might eventually be Santa in a space suit, and other pieces lying around looked like aliens dressed as elves. A giant green nose cone was half-decorated with ornaments.

  Darcie couldn’t imagine what catastrophe had befallen the Elderhorns that their display wasn’t up and running by now. Maybe Joe would know, although he looked far too preoccupied to chat. She climbed out of the truck and went around to get Gus from his car seat. With her son on her hip, she walked into the garage where Joe was wrestling another piece of Times Square out the door.

  He looked a mess, sweaty and tired. He glanced at her. “Maybe you meant to be nice, not waking me up this morning, but I would’ve liked you to tell me goodbye. I also would have liked you to make sure I got up in time to erect the display.”

  A wave of remorse washed over her. She’d wanted to postpone the awkward moment of telling him they wouldn’t be having sex anymore and she’d taken the cowardly way out. She couldn’t pretend she’d let him sleep because she’d thought he needed the rest. Escape had been the only thing on her mind.

  He leaned the plywood section against the door frame. “Oh, hell, I’m sorry,” he said. “Don’t look so guilty. We’ll get the damned thing up.” He grinned at Gus. “Hey, you little leprechaun. How’s it hanging, buddy?”

  And why would the lass be waking you up this morning? And why would you be wanting to tell her goodbye all of a sudden, when you never did that any other blessed morning? Faith, maybe inspiration finally bit you in the backside, lad. Proud of you, I am.

  “I’ll put Gus in his playpen in the garage so I can help you,” Darcie said.

  Gus waved his arms. Oh, sure. ’Tis the playpen for Gus. Better put me where I can keep an eye on you two. From the look of things, I wouldn’t say the contract is signed, sealed and delivered.

  Joe stepped closer and lowered his voice. “Hold your nose, sweet lady. I’m all sweaty and smell like a goat, but I need to apologize for biting your head off just now. I know you meant well, leaving so quietly this morning. I got some sleep, but you must be dead on your feet. How are you?”

  By St. Paddy’s beard, something did go on when I was getting my beauty sleep!

  “I’m fine. But, Joe, I didn’t mean well, leaving while you were asleep. I meant—”

  “Shh. We’ll talk later.” He held out his arms. “Let me take short stuff for a while so you can go inside and have a minute to rest, or freshen up, or whatever it is mommies do when they have some time off.”

  “I don’t know if either of us should take any breaks. You should see some of the other displays, Joe. They’re wonderful. I don’t know why the Elderhorns’ isn’t wonderful yet, but it probably will be.”

  “I can’t figure the Elderhorns, either. When I finally woke up at two this afternoon, I thought for sure they’d be done over there, but they were just getting started. I wonder if anything’s wrong.”

  “Oh dear.” Darcie glanced over at the pandemonium in the Elderhorns’ front yard. “I hope nothing terrible has happened.”

  Herman was trying to blow up the inflatable Santa in a space suit while Madge ran around propping up alien elves and putting little green caps on their heads. On one of her trips, she passed behind Herman, reached out and gave him a soft swat on the behind.

  Darcie gasped. “Did you see that?” she said in a stage whisper.

  “What?” Joe peered across the street.

  “Madge patted Herman’s backside!”

  “No. You must be seeing things. Madge isn’t the backside-patting type.”

  “There! She did it again! And poor Herman is so distracted he can’t blow up the inflatable Santa!”

  Gus bounced in Darcie’s arms and gurgled. What’s this, then? A hanky-panky epidemic? ’Tis spreading through the neighborhood! I think I like it.

  Joe narrowed his eyes as he gazed across the street. “I’ll be damned. She is patting his butt! You don’t suppose they’re late getting the display up because the two of them…nah. Not those two. They’ve been married a million years at least.”

  After the night she’d had and a day spent cleaning, Darcie’s Irish temper was at flash point. “And what is that supposed to mean? Just because two people have been married for a million years, that they could never be as frisky as rabbits?”

  “Not in my ex
perience. The longer people are married, the easier it is to get in a rut. I’ve seen it happen all around me. Two people start out full of fun and adventure and then they get bogged down with diapers and orthodontists and leaky faucets and crabgrass. And before you know it, they’re more worried about finding dust bunnies under the bed than acting like bunnies in bed.”

  Darcie glared at Joe. “I get the message. And I don’t expect you to take care of Gus. I’ll find him something to eat, change his diaper and put his costume on him. I’ll be out to help when I’m finished.”

  Now don’t be so hard on the lad. He’s a wee bit confused, but he’s coming around.

  Joe frowned. “Look, I didn’t mean that I wasn’t willing to help out so that you—”

  “I’ll be back shortly.” She carried Gus through the garage and into the house. She hurried through the kitchen and fumbled with the first baby gate. “Bloody gate,” she muttered. “Bloody, damn gate!”

  Now don’t be forgetting who put in those gates. The lad has promise. Rough around the edges, but I’m not finished working on him.

  Darcie finally got the gate open, stormed up the stairs and through the second gate, which she’d left open. She’d left the first gate open, too, but Joe must have closed it when he came down.

  “How dare he be so considerate, Gus!” She carried him into his bedroom and put him in his crib while she started banging around, collecting the changing supplies. “And so manly-looking and such a good lover and—” She burst into tears.

  Aw, don’t cry, lass! Or I’ll start crying, too. I know the odds were against him in the beginning, but he’s coming on. Don’t lose faith.

  Darcie sniffed and swiped at her tear-streaked face. “Sorry, Gus. Your mama is head over heels in love with a man who doesn’t want her. And it’s breaking my heart.”

  By all the saints, I won’t cry! I won’t! I— Gus started to wail.

  “Oh dear.” Darcie grabbed a tissue and mopped her face. Gulping back a sob, she picked up her baby. “Don’t cry, Gus. It’ll be okay. We have each other.” She held him close and pressed her cheek against his hair as she swayed back and forth. “But I hope you can forgive me if I tell you that I would like to have that bullheaded fellow downstairs, too. If he could see his way clear to becoming a family man, he could make my days as bright as a calm sea with the sun in all its glory shining on it.”

  She sniffed again. “You see, Gus, someday you’ll grow up and live your own life, which is as it should be. But when that happens, it would be a comfort if I had a man…if I had Joe…to be my…companion.”

  Gus’s tears slowly subsided as he snuggled against his mother. And have him you shall, or my name isn’t Angus Sean O’Banyon.

  “I love him, Gus.”

  I’ll help you get him. Trust me, lass.

  JOE THOUGHT OF FOLLOWING Darcie upstairs and trying to straighten things out between them, but he figured that could take a while, considering he was still pretty uncertain about everything himself. So he went back to work on the display.

  They’d have more time to talk through their situation after they’d made it past tonight and the judging of the display. He hadn’t meant to give her a speech detailing his views on marriage at this critical moment. Yet it had come tumbling out anyway. Apparently, he was a little edgy on the subject.

  He could guess why. His perspective was shifting and it scared him to death. After making love to Darcie, he’d held her close and started thinking all sorts of crazy things, like whether he really wanted to move to Colorado and go into business with his cousin, and whether his single life was really as much fun as he pretended it was, and whether he might not enjoy having a little guy like Gus around on a regular basis.

  Maybe he’d allowed his teenager’s view of caring for triplets to color his whole view of marriage and kids. And quite possibly that view was dead wrong.

  When he woke up this afternoon, more questions bombarded him. He’d always figured that having a kid would make a woman more child-oriented and less interested in passionate sex. Darcie was very child-oriented, but, despite that, she was wonderful…no, incredible to make love to. And she’d even been tired for Pete’s sake.

  As Joe started testing the lights on the display, he began to think back over the conversations he’d had with his buddies who were married. He’d been looking for information to back up the theories he’d concocted at sixteen, and he’d found it. Or so he’d thought.

  His friends had talked about being up late with a fussy baby, about scraping up the money to add on a room to the house instead of taking a vacation to Hawaii, about toilet training and which kind of formula was really the best. But now that he thought about it, none of the guys had ever said their sex life was dull. He’d assumed it would have to be, though. Surely, with all that…

  And yet, there had been nothing boring about going to bed with Darcie, and she dealt with all those same worries every day. Of course, it was only one night and they weren’t married. If they were married and made love a lot, they’d probably slip into a humdrum relationship pretty quickly.

  He tried to believe that. He really, really tried. But every time he thought about Darcie—her Irish brogue, her sweet body, her saucy personality—he was anything but bored. In fact, he could hardly wait until all this yard decoration business was over for the night so he and Darcie could pick up where they’d left off.

  “Okay, Northwood,” he lectured himself as he unrolled another orange extension cord out to the display. “You’re getting obsessed with the woman. Now stop it, or you’ll find yourself hog-tied for sure.”

  He plugged the extension cord into the chasing lights that would form the sign running across the top of the Allied Tower Building. Darcie had lit up just like that when he’d made love to her last night, he thought. She’d…

  Joe sighed and shook his head, astounded at himself. He couldn’t get her out of his mind. “So what if she’s great in bed?” he muttered.

  “Now, honey, would that question be hypothetical? Because if it’s not, then you and I have some things to discuss.”

  Joe turned to find Dolly Parton standing behind him, arms crossed over her balloon-filled chest.

  14

  “UH, HI THERE, GERALDINE,” Joe said. “Where’s your limo?”

  “I couldn’t have Stanley sitting here at your curb and interfering with the look of your display, so I drove myself over. I parked across from the Tannenbaum entrance and walked through the neighborhood so I could check out the other displays.” She imitated Dolly Parton’s giggle. “And, honey, folks are so friendly. I signed two autographs.”

  Joe shook his head. “People get thrown in the clink for impersonating celebrities, you know.”

  Geraldine patted his arm. “You let me worry about that. In the meantime, I need to know exactly how friendly you’ve been recently. Confession is good for the soul.”

  “My soul or yours?”

  “Mine.” She giggled again. “I love juicy confessions.”

  “This doesn’t concern you, Geraldine.”

  “The hell it doesn’t. That girl came to my house seeking protection, and I plan to see that she gets it.”

  “She was seeking a telephone!”

  Geraldine waved a hand, making her balloons jiggle under her bright red dress. “Totally symbolic. She was seeking communication and guidance from an older, wiser woman.”

  Joe rolled his eyes. “Guidance of a mechanical nature, considering that her car died.”

  “Also symbolic. Her feminine independence was threatened and she needed someone to protect her from being dominated by a male authority figure.”

  “Oh, yeah, that’s me all right. Your wig must be cutting off oxygen to your brain if you seriously think I’m a dominating male authority figure.”

  “I have adjusted my perception on that score, especially after watching you take care of little Gus. You’re good with him, I’ll give you that. But I still worry about that innocent, tender bud of
womanhood falling into the clutches of some oversexed, undercommitted stud. That would be you, hot stuff.”

  “Innocent, tender bud? She’s the one who showed up in my bed!”

  “Aha! So you did the nasty after all, you bad boy! I should have followed my instincts and moved in with you when she did.”

  “Excuse me? You weren’t invited to move in!”

  “Never mind that now.” Geraldine lowered her voice. “Listen, I’ve seen the other entries, and you and Darcie have your work cut out for you if you’re going to win that money. I’m here to help.”

  “Bull. You’re here to keep me in line.”

  Geraldine sighed. “That was my original intent, but unfortunately, I’m too late for that. All that’s left is damage control.”

  DARCIE FINISHED SNAPPING Gus into his flesh-colored bodysuit and fastened on a second diaper, one that was for show only, over that. She was carrying Gus into her bedroom so she could get into her Miss Millennium outfit when Geraldine called up the stairs.

  “Darcie, can I come up?”

  “Sure.” Darcie went to open the baby gate at the top of the stairs. “I could use some help with my costume.”

  “You need help with more than that, toots.” Adjusting her balloons, Geraldine climbed the stairs. “I gather there’s been some slap and tickle going on around here.”

  Gus waved his arms. While you’ve been lollygagging around posing for holy pictures, I’ve had to take matters into my own hands.

  “Joe told you?”

  “Not intentionally.” Geraldine came to the top of the stairs and wrapped an arm around Darcie’s shoulders. “He was in the yard mumbling to himself and I happened to overhear him.”

  “In the yard mumbling to himself? Is he all right?”

  Geraldine smiled. “No, he’s not all right. He’s totally confused, and you need to make sure he stays that way until he proposes to you.”

  We’ll get him to the church, we will. I’ve a mind to uncork my secret weapon.

  “Ha!” Darcie said. “You think Joe Northwood will propose? He just delivered a speech on the subject of marriage and he thinks it’s more boring than a pub on Sunday morning, as my da would say!”