That's My Baby! Read online

  “Your baby? As I recall, you don’t want anything to do with her.”

  “That’s beside the point. She’s my baby, and those guys have no right—”

  “All of them rushed to take care of her, as I hoped they would,” she said. “While you were out of the country and completely out of touch. In my book that gives them a ton of rights.”

  “I didn’t know about her!”

  “You ran away, so how could you know?”

  “I didn’t run away.” But he had and he knew it. So did she. Then he remembered the rest of Matty’s news. He delivered it with some relish, knowing it would shock her as it had him. If she’d secretly thought one of his stalwart, responsible friends would be a backup if he bowed out, she could forget that fantasy. “Well, they’re all married now.”

  “They are?”

  “Surprised at that, aren’t you?”

  “I sure am! I had no idea—”

  “So if you had some plan that included roping one of them into marriage in case I didn’t work out, you can forget it. They’re taken.”

  Her open palm stung as it connected with his cheek. He resisted the urge to put his hand against the spot, which hurt like hell. They stared at each other, both of them breathing hard.

  “We need to get going,” he said.

  “Fine. Let’s go. The sooner I’m rid of you and your insinuations, the better.” She spun on her heel, snatched up her backpack and headed for the door.

  “Don’t go out there by yourself, damn it!” He hoisted his backpack and charged after her.

  “Maybe you should let me be kidnapped,” she replied harshly, flinging open the door. “Shoot, if I play my cards right, I might even be able to bribe the guy into marrying me. After all, any man will do, so long as I have a ring on my finger.”

  He slammed the door and caught up with her, grabbing her by the arm. God, the cashmere was soft. The first time she’d worn it, she hadn’t put on a bra, and when he’d rubbed his palms over her breasts, her nipples had puckered instantly under the material. She’d said it was like being stroked with mink. He really didn’t want to fight with her.

  He took a breath. “Maybe I shouldn’t have said that,” he murmured. “But I think you still owe me some explanation for—”

  “I owe you nothing.” She pulled her arm away and marched down the balcony toward the stairs.

  Nat didn’t know where the creep might be hiding, but letting Jess get so far ahead could be the invitation the guy was waiting for. He caught up with her again and took her arm. When she struggled, he gripped her harder than he’d intended. Seventeen months of digging ditches had given him that kind of strength.

  “Let me go.”

  “No.” He lowered his voice as he propelled her down the stairs so fast she nearly stumbled. “You may not owe me anything, but I owe you something, and that’s to see that you get safely back to Elizabeth. Now, don’t pull away from me again.”

  She struggled for breath as they hurried across the parking lot toward the car. Her voice was sharp with fury. “I’ll bet you’re finally mad enough not to want me.”

  He opened the car door and practically shoved her in. “You’d lose that bet,” he said.

  CHAPTER TEN

  AS THEY RODE in silence, speaking only when they stopped to order a fast-food breakfast to go, Jessica tried to control her curiosity. She was dying to know who each of the guys had married, and whether it had happened before she’d dropped off the baby or after. But she’d be damned if she’d strike up a conversation with a man who, however briefly, thought she was capable of engaging in some sort of orgy the night after he’d dumped her.

  She hadn’t been able to gather any personal news about Sebastian, Travis or Boone during her quick calls to the Rocking D in the past six months. She hadn’t dared spend any time on the line when she’d phoned for fear the kidnapper would somehow trace the call and go there to find out what the fuss was about. Even now she worried that she was leading him to Elizabeth, but now that Nat knew he was the baby’s father, Jessica was ready to make a stand.

  So all three men were married. The idea caused her to smile. Each of them in his own way would make some woman very happy, even a confirmed bachelor like Travis. Jessica had always suspected there was more to Travis than the playboy image he projected, which was why she’d wanted him to be part of the group watching out for Elizabeth.

  If three women had joined Elizabeth’s chosen circle, so much the better. They’d have to be fantastic ladies if they’d hitched up with three of her best friends. She could hardly wait to meet them.

  She peeked over at Nat. His expression was grim and he’d pulled his Stetson down low over his eyes, which was always a sign he didn’t feel like having a conversation. Not that she had much to discuss with him, after what he’d said.

  But the drive seemed endless with no communication between them and all the questions hanging in the air. She gazed out the window at the stubble of harvested fields and willed the time to go faster.

  They picked up more fast food for lunch. Continuing to drive was fine with Jessica, but she began to feel sorry for Nat, who bore the brunt of the task. She shouldn’t feel sorry for him. After all, at the first hint that all was not fitting and proper, he’d practically accused her of being a tramp. If he didn’t trust her any more than that, she didn’t want to have anything to do with him.

  That was a lie. The only reason he’d been able to hurt her with his questions was that she was in love with him. From the feel of it, she wouldn’t ever be in love with anyone else. She’d hoped to fall out of love with him sometime during the seventeen months he’d been gone, but it hadn’t happened.

  And he still loved her. He might not trust her completely, but he still loved her. She could see it in his eyes every time he looked at her.

  Before they reached the western border of Kansas, he apologized. “Look, I’m sorry,” he said quietly. “You’re right, I shouldn’t have even asked the question.”

  She sighed and relaxed against the seat. She hadn’t even realized how stiffly she’d been sitting until the last of the anger flooded out of her in one big gush. “Thank you for that.” She glanced at his tense profile. That apology had cost him a lot of pride and she admired him for sacrificing it. She could do no less. “Would you like to hear about that night?”

  “Doesn’t interest me in the least.”

  “Liar.”

  The corner of his mouth tilted up. “Okay, I want to hear every last detail, but you don’t have to tell me a damn thing.”

  She couldn’t ever remember wanting to kiss him as much as she did now. But they were driving, and even if they weren’t, she’d said no lovemaking, which naturally meant no kissing, either. “I guess I should be flattered that you’re jealous.”

  “You can be flattered if you want, but I’m furious with myself.”

  “Jealousy’s a natural emotion.”

  “That could be, but in my opinion, the only men who can treat themselves to jealousy are would-be husbands, so that lets me out.”

  The words hurt, so she tried to make light of them. “Oh, I don’t know. It seems to be the in thing these days.”

  “No kidding.”

  “Before I tell you about what happened that night in Aspen, will you tell me who the guys married? I’m dying of curiosity.”

  He glanced over at her.

  “Nothing but curiosity, I swear,” she said with a smile.

  “I wouldn’t blame you for being attracted to any of them. They’re good men, and I guess they’re okay-looking.” His grin was genuine this time. “Not as handsome and manly as me, of course.”

  “Of course. But obviously someone found them irresistible. Who was it?”

  “Sebastian married his neighbor, Matty Lang. Her husband was killed a while back, flew his Cessna into a mountain, and she’s been running her ranch by herself, except for Travis helping out in the summer. Now that I think about it, she’s the perfect match for
Sebastian. But I guess now I’ll never be able to buy his ranch. He’s probably there to stay.”

  “You wanted to buy a ranch? You never told me that.”

  “It’s a beautiful piece of property.” He straightened his arms against the wheel and flexed his shoulders, stretching the kinks out. “I could sell it for a huge profit someday, but that wasn’t my motivation. I’m not sure what my motivation was.”

  “You grew up on a ranch. Maybe you’d like to get back to that.”

  He shook his head. “Probably not.”

  “Maybe you’d like to run a ranch for kids with no place to go,” she suggested gently.

  He gave her a startled glance. Then he returned his attention to the road. “You sure have a way of getting inside my head, Jess. I hadn’t put it all together, but you might be right. The orphans in the refugee camps aren’t the only ones without a home. But it was a place to start.”

  Such noble dreams, she thought. How she’d love to be a part of them. But she came with a kid attached. How ironic that he wanted to save all the children of the world except one. She’d been upset about that at first, but she was slowly beginning to understand his reasoning, and it didn’t seem so contradictory now.

  “So who did Travis marry?” she asked.

  “Gwen Hawthorne, who runs a bed-and-breakfast in Huerfano, the little town down the road from the Rocking D.”

  “I know where it is.” Just hearing the name of the ranch brought back the pain of the night she’d abandoned her child. “Do you know what the town’s name means in Spanish?” Nat asked.

  “No. I took French in college.”

  “It means orphan.”

  “Really?” She wondered if that had been one of the reasons he’d been attracted to the area in the first place. “Maybe it’s fate that you’re supposed to start something like that near Huerfano.”

  “If I do, I’ll have to find a piece of property besides the Rocking D to do it on.”

  “Guess so.” She tried to sound as if where he ended up didn’t really concern her, when in fact it concerned her tremendously. If he chose not to link his life with hers, then she wanted to locate far, far away from him. “What about Boone, then? Who did he find?”

  “A woman named Shelby McFarland. He met her on the way up from his folks’ place in New Mexico to the Rocking D.”

  “You mean both he and Sebastian got married after I left Elizabeth at the ranch? That’s weird.”

  He nodded. “Travis did, too. Matty said it was the baby that pulled each couple together, in a way.”

  “Wow.” She’d never anticipated causing such havoc, even though it seemed to be a good kind of havoc. “And each one of the guys thought he was Elizabeth’s father. That blows me away. It never occurred to me they’d think such a thing. I only wanted to surround Elizabeth with people who would watch out for her. I knew I could trust them to do that.”

  “So what did happen that night?” Nat asked the question as if he was only mildly curious.

  She smiled at his obvious attempt to sound casual. “Your friends assembled in the bar at the lodge and got totally plowed, that’s what.” She still chuckled whenever she thought of the raucous drinking songs, the arm-wrestling contests and the corny jokes that made them all laugh until their sides hurt. They’d pledged eternal friendship to each other that night, but she’d never expected to put that pledge to such a test.

  “I gathered they got smashed. Then what?”

  “They’d booked that same little cabin you guys had the year before, which is about two miles from the lodge, if you remember. It was nasty out, and I didn’t dare let any of them behind the wheel, so I drove them back to the cabin.”

  He glanced over at her. “You didn’t have anything to drink?”

  “Somebody had to stay sober and keep them out of trouble.” She didn’t want to admit she’d been so heartbroken that even one drink might have caused her to lose control and start sobbing in the middle of what was supposed to be a celebration. She shouldn’t have continued to feel an obligation to keep her relationship with Nat a secret, but she had—all this time.

  “So you drove them home and that’s it?”

  “Well, of course not. I knew they’d be miserable in the morning, so I made them take some vitamin C and B-complex. I tried to get them to drink some chamomile tea with honey, but they wouldn’t hear of it. Said it was a sissy drink and they were studly cowboys who could hold their liquor, by God.”

  Nat chuckled. “Good for them.”

  “I’m not surprised to hear that from you, considering how you’ve reacted whenever I’ve tried to guide you to some natural cures.”

  “You wanted me to drink stuff made with weeds!”

  She bristled. “Those weeds, as you call them, are loaded with nutrients. People have no idea what a bountiful harvest they have in their own backyards! Why, if only everyone would—”

  “I think I’ve heard that lecture a few times, Jess.”

  “And it’s had zero effect.”

  “If I promise to drink the next cup of weed tea you offer me, will you finish your story?”

  “There’s not much more to tell. I helped them out of their clothes and into bed, and then I went home. The next morning—”

  “Hold it. Back up the hay wagon. What do you mean, you helped them out of their clothes?”

  Her anger from their morning argument threatened to return. “I don’t like your implication, Nat.”

  “Okay, okay. I’m not implying anything was wrong, but I’m getting a mental picture here, and it’s bugging me. Be fair, Jess. You weren’t too happy when you found out I had my tongue in another woman’s mouth.”

  “I never had my tongue in any of their mouths.”

  “But you undressed them.”

  “Down to their T-shirts and shorts! They were in sad enough shape the next day, without adding the discomfort of sleeping all night in their clothes.”

  “I guess,” he mumbled. “Did any of them try to kiss you?”

  “Sure they did. So what?”

  The muscles in his jaw bunched. “I’m going to strangle them.”

  “Nat, they didn’t know about us! They were drunk, and goofing around.” She paused. “But I sure never imagined any of them thought they’d done more than try to kiss me. Is that even possible? To do the deed and not remember the next day?”

  “That’s never happened to me, but I guess it’s possible.” He blew out a breath and glanced at her. “None of this would have happened in the first place if I’d been there that night. I should have been there. But I thought I was doing you a favor by leaving.”

  “A favor? By walking out of my life completely? By putting yourself totally out of reach in a country across the ocean with no reliable phone or mail service? How was that supposed to be a favor?”

  “I thought if I was out of the picture, you would find someone else.”

  Her throat tightened. “Is that what you want?”

  “Hell, no, that’s not what I want! I’m going crazy thinking of you in the clutches of my friends, even though I know it was all completely innocent. I don’t dare imagine you in bed with another man. It would drive me nuts.”

  “I can’t imagine that, either,” she said quietly.

  He groaned. “I love hearing that, and I shouldn’t love it. I should want you to go out and find yourself a nice, marriage-minded guy who loves the idea of having children of his own.” He slapped the steering wheel. “I am beyond selfish to want you, when I’m not capable of giving you everything you need.”

  She felt bathed in warmth, and absolutely sure he was wrong about himself. He had no idea what he might be capable of, given a chance. “But you do want me?”

  His jaw clenched again. “Every minute of every day.”

  She restrained herself from reaching over to touch him, although she ached to do that. One touch and they’d be exiting the freeway and parking on some side road so they could climb in the back seat together. Exci
ting as that sounded, she believed that making love now would only confuse the issue. Nat thought sex was all he could give her, and she wanted to show him they had far more going for them that that.

  Because she dared not touch him, she could only reach out with words. “Don’t give up on us yet,” she murmured.

  He responded with silence, and although she would have preferred more encouragement, she was glad that at least he didn’t argue with her.

  MANY LONG, frustrating hours later, Nat drove down the dirt road leading to the ranch turnoff. The sun had set hours ago, and he thought he deserved a medal for making it all the way to the Rocking D without swerving onto some dark back road and finding a place to make love to Jess. He felt certain she wouldn’t have stopped him if he’d tried that.

  The closer they came to the ranch the more nervous he was. While he was overseas he had imagined reuniting with his buddies would be a homecoming of sorts, but Jess’s bombshell of an announcement had changed all that. He desperately needed the sense of safety that making love to her would bring, but she’d chosen to pull the rug out from under him on that, too.

  Her decision to stop having sex was a shaky one, and they both knew it, but his pride wouldn’t let him challenge her decree. He wasn’t entirely clear on what would have to happen before she’d take him back into her bed, but he figured it hinged primarily on his attitude toward Elizabeth. A marriage proposal would probably do the trick, too.

  She’d be amazed if she knew how much he’d thought about marrying her, and how close he’d been to asking—right up to the moment he’d found out about the baby. He’d worked it all out somewhere over the Atlantic. He’d planned to propose, and when she inevitably brought up the idea of kids, he would then suggest adopting one of the orphans from the refugee camp as a first step.