Gone With the Nerd Read online

  "Nope." Flynn wasn't about to describe how the footprint had been obliterated. "Heard something, though."

  "Yeah? Cool! Like what?"

  "Something big running through the trees, and a howl."

  "Awesome." Jeff shoved his hands in his pockets and rocked back on the heels of his running shoes. "Did it sound like a Bigfoot howl?"

  "It sounded like the recordings I've heard." Now that Flynn wasn't thinking about sex, he was once again eager for Sasquatch news. He was even a little sorry he'd sat on the footprint, although he wouldn't change what had happened. If only he'd sat down a yard to the left or right though, he could have had both the footprint and the make-out session.

  "Wish I'd been here," Jeff said.

  Flynn was eternally glad Jeff hadn't been around. "Have you sighted very many yourself?"

  "Just once. I was, like, parking with my girlfriend Janice. We were . . . well, you know. And I smelled this disgusting smell, which I knew couldn't be Janice because she always smells great." Jeff's eyes glazed over. "Does she ever smell great. I read in school about pheromones, and I think that's what Janice has going on. Dude, every time I'm around her I want to—"

  "So you smelled something disgusting." Flynn didn't want to hear about Janice and her pheromones. He had enough problems with Zoe's pheromones, and he didn't want to be reminded of the havoc that a woman could create simply by smelling good. Zoe did, too, and it drove him nuts.

  "Yeah, and I'm all 'what's that smell?' So I poked my head up and looked out the window. This big hairy thing was walking away through the woods."

  "Amazing." The story gave Flynn goose bumps. First the footprint and now this. He wasn't inclined to put stock in Margo's claims, but Jeff was providing even more evidence. "How long ago was that?"

  "Last summer, on July nineteenth. I know it was July nineteenth because that's the night I finally talked Janice into ... uh ..." He paused and massaged the back of his neck. "Listen, dude, if you run into Janice while you're here, I'd appreciate it if you'd, like, keep this conversation to yourself."

  "Sure."

  "The thing is, she doesn't know I saw Bigfoot. I told her it must've been a skunk letting loose."

  Flynn nodded. "Because you didn't want to scare her."

  "Damn straight I didn't! Not considering the excellent progress I'd made to that point. If she'd thought I'd seen Bigfoot, she would've been all 'yikes, I'm putting my clothes on right now!'" Jeff glanced at Flynn. "Am I right, dude?"

  "Probably." The conversation had taken a turn that wasn't helping Flynn at all. Any reference to sex made him think of Zoe. He should be thinking of Kristen. He should be fantasizing about Kristen. At the moment he couldn't remember what she looked like. Pathetic.

  "Well, guess I'd better get going," Jeff said. "I have to be at work early. We got a new shipment of Bigfoot action figures at the trading post and the boss wants them unpacked pronto. Like, people are clamoring for them. Not."

  "I should leave, too." Although Flynn wasn't sure he was ready to face Zoe's pheromones.

  "Yeah, your wife is probably all' where's that husband of mine? I hope Bigfoot didn 't eat him.'"

  "We're not married," Flynn said without thinking.

  "Oh. Well, that's cool. You don't need, like, a marriage certificate to spend the weekend together. I can't figure out why anyone would want to spend the weekend in Long Shaft, though."

  "I was curious about the Bigfoot sightings."

  "You came here because of Bigfoot? Awesome! Come on down to the trading post in the morning and I'll give you a discount on a Bigfoot action figure. They're supposed to be, like, for kids, but I think one would look great on your desk. A conversation piece."

  "How did you know I have a desk?"

  "Dude, no offense, but you have office geek written all over you. Nothing wrong with that. You probably make a whole lot more money than me. Bye." With a wave, Jeff loped off through the woods.

  Flynn turned toward the cabin with a resigned sigh. With luck, Zoe had gone to bed. Then he had a vivid image of her in bed, wearing some filmy nightgown. Or maybe she didn't wear anything at all.

  Chapter Eleven

  Teeth brushed and nerd pajamas on, Zoe propped a pillow against the headboard and leaned back as she picked up the script she'd brought to bed with her. She was also wearing the wire-framed glasses and had stuck a pencil behind her ear, although she didn't know if that was a nerd thing to do or not. She'd have to ask Flynn in the morning.

  Tonight they shouldn't have anything more to do with each other. To that effect she'd closed her bedroom door. She thought Flynn would respect a closed door. He seemed like that type of guy.

  And speaking of Flynn, where the hell was he? Unless he was making a big production out of his endeavor in the woods, he should be finished and back inside by now. She'd told herself not to think about it, but she couldn't help thinking about it.

  Who could blame her? Flynn Granger, her conservative, buttoned-down lawyer, was currently out among the pine trees masturbating. That didn't fit her picture of him at all. It wasn't dignified.

  Well, that wasn't her fault. She'd worked up the courage to suggest doing the job right, but he'd rediscovered his scruples. That was for the best. She really didn't want to poach on Kristen's territory. As wonderful as it might feel in the short term, she'd hate herself for it in the long term.

  There was only one solution—to get back on track and concentrate on the reason she'd brought Flynn up here. She needed to read more of the script and get into character. Vera Parsons probably wouldn't have asked Tony Bennetti to put his hand down her pants. Zoe didn't know how Vera would react in a sexual situation, and she needed to know.

  Pushing thoughts of Flynn out of her mind, she opened the script at the point where she and Flynn had stopped reading. Tony and Vera were still in the bedroom dealing with the attempted kidnapping. Now Zoe remembered the scene. She'd been trying to coach Flynn in how to play Tony with a little more swagger.

  VERA

  Don't call me baby doll.

  TONY

  I call all women baby doll.

  VERA

  Which is exactly why I don't want you to call me that. TONY

  Why not? Because you're not a woman?

  VERA

  Because I'm a scientist.

  TONY

  Is that some extra category? Last time I looked, that wasn't one of the answers on the form down at the DMV.

  VERA

  My gender is totally irrelevant! Tony draws closer to Vera.

  TONY

  Gender is never irrelevant.

  Vera's resistance weakens as Tony moves in.

  VERA

  It's ... irrelevant in this case.

  Tony leans down, preparing to kiss Vera.

  TONY

  I thought so, too. But you're getting to me, baby doll.

  Tony kisses Vera. Vera responds at first, then pushes Tony away.

  VERA

  That was completely unprofessional!

  Tony grins, extremely proud of himself.

  TONY

  I'm a bodyguard, not an escort service. When it comes to women, I cherish my amateur standing.

  Tony turns and leaves the room.

  Zoe sighed. So that was how Vera reacted to being kissed. She pushed the guy away. That wasn't exactly how Zoe had behaved a little while ago when Flynn had planted one on her. At first she'd done nothing, but at the moment when Vera would have shoved, Zoe had pulled.

  And that was only the beginning. Matters had progressed rapidly after that, with Zoe inviting all sorts of things to happen. Vera would be scandalized by that scene on the forest floor.

  Zoe heard the front door open and glanced up from the script. "Is that you, Flynn?" Maybe she should have locked the door, after all. But then she'd have been in the position of getting up to open it wearing her pajamas. True, they were ugly pajamas, a gaudy yellow and orange plaid, but she thought Flynn might get turned on anyway. He had a short
fuse. Well, so did she.

  "It's me," Flynn said.

  "Is everything ... okay?" She didn't know a polite way to ask if he'd successfully masturbated and could sleep better now.

  He started down the hall, his footsteps steady. "Zoe, I didn't do what you think I did out there."

  "Why not?"

  His footsteps stopped in front of his bedroom door. "Because ... because I met Luanne's brother." "Frankenstein was out walking in the woods?" "Yeah. Jeff. He's a nice kid."

  Zoe thought about what had been going on in the woods prior to her coming back to the cabin. "We dodged a bullet, huh?"

  "You could say that, although he thinks we're here for a romantic weekend, so maybe it wouldn't have mattered."

  A romantic weekend. Zoe couldn't remember the last time she'd had one of those, and she wished she could be having one now. With Flynn. "So are you turning in?"

  "It's probably a good idea."

  "Probably." She could feel the tension building between them, even through the closed door. She wanted to be with him, and she was almost certain he wanted to be with her.

  "Good night, then."

  She felt so sorry for him. He must feel incredibly frustrated. She wanted him to have some sort of peak experience that would be the equivalent of her climax in the woods, something a little fun and kinky that wouldn't compromise his honor.

  "Flynn, you're welcome to the cobbler. I'm not planning to eat any of it. You can have the whole thing."

  He sounded like he was choking and laughing at the same time. "I don't want the cobbler, Zoe."

  "Well, I don't blame you. It would be very messy."

  "Good God, you really are talking about what I was afraid you might be talking about. Now I'm not going to be able to look at that cobbler without thinking of sex."

  "Sorry. I was only trying to help."

  "Please don't help." He cleared his throat. "So you don't want to eat the cobbler?"

  "Absolutely not. It would go right to my hips. You're welcome to it, really."

  "Then I'm going to put it down the garbage disposal, because God knows I won't be able to eat it, either, now that you've superimposed American Pie onto it. I'd just as soon get rid of it."

  'Take all the time you need to do that."

  "For the last time, I am not going to masturbate with the cobbler!"

  "Okay." Zoe couldn't help grinning. If she had a tape recording of that statement, she could blackmail Flynn forever. And she'd thought he was stodgy. Not even.

  She listened to him stomp away and soon after heard the loud grinding of an ancient garbage disposal. Too bad about the cobbler. She'd have to tell Margo they ate the whole thing, to save Margo's feelings. Obviously the cobbler, made only during a full moon, was supposed to be a treat.

  Maybe the full moon was having an effect on her and Flynn. The moon had been officially full the night before— Zoe kept track of such things—but tonight it had seemed almost full. In some magazine or other she'd read that the full moon had an effect on people, as well as the ocean tides, but she couldn't remember exactly what it was.

  She'd bet Flynn would know. When she heard his footsteps corning down the hall again, she decided to ask him. "Flynn?"

  "What?"

  "Do you know if the full moon has an effect on people?"

  "You mean like werewolves? I don't believe in that. Werewolves are in a different category from a Sasquatch, in my opinion."

  She loved hearing him talk. She'd never realized that before, but going to his office had been a treat to her ears. His voice had good resonance, the kind that actors worked to get and Flynn had naturally. He'd be good at voice-overs, not that he'd ever consider getting into that cutthroat field when he was making so much money as an entertainment lawyer.

  So his wonderful voice was a bonus attribute, destined to be appreciated by clients... and lovers. But she wouldn't go there. "I meant does the moon pull at people the way it pulls at the ocean? I thought I heard that, but now I can't remember the particulars."

  "I see what you mean. We're ninety percent water, so yeah, I guess we would be affected by the gravitational pull of the moon. Why are you asking?"

  I thought that might explain... our little problem."

  He was silent for several seconds. "I don't think that's it."

  "You don't?" "No."

  "So what is the reason why we're suddenly attracted to each other?"

  "I think it's because we're finally alone together. Good night, Zoe." He closed his bedroom door.

  Zoe stared into space and thought about that. What if she and Flynn were destined to be lovers, but they'd never figured that out because they'd never been alone? And now they were alone, and Flynn was committed to someone else. She wasn't, but he didn't know that.

  She wouldn't tell him, either. He was barely holding on to his commitment to Kristen as it was. They had two nights to get through, and this one was almost in the can. Daytime would be a piece of cake, so tomorrow night was the big hurdle.

  They could always go back to LA tomorrow, which would guarantee nothing would happen between them.

  But she instinctively believed Flynn was the key to her getting this part. Maybe she was being selfish, but she really wanted his help. She wanted more than his help, but she'd control herself. The more she got into Vera's character, the easier that would be.

  As Flynn undressed, he thought about the cobbler, and not as a masturbation aid, either. Something about that cobbler hadn't seemed quite right. The smell was a little off, and when he'd run water through the disposal, foam had bubbled up out of it.

  That could have been a problem with the disposal, which looked like it had been installed right after the invention of electricity. Or it could have been the cobbler. A woman who only made the stuff during a full moon had to be a strange person. Maybe she added strange ingredients to the cobbler.

  In any case, Flynn was glad that he and Zoe hadn't eaten the cobbler. Food poisoning would put a serious crimp in their plans. They needed food they could actually eat, though. In the morning he'd take a drive into town, buy a flashlight, and pick up some groceries.

  He climbed into the uncomfortable twin bed and discovered it was too short. The bed Zoe was using would fit him better. He felt his mind sliding into the possibility of sharing that bed with her and yanked it right back out of that quicksand. The mere suggestion of sharing her bed had his penis stirring restlessly.

  So he had a bed that was too short for him. So what? The length of the mattress wouldn't matter, though, because he probably wouldn't be able to sleep anyway. Maybe he should check out the script so that he'd know in advance exactly what he might be in for if they had any more read-throughs.

  Propping himself up with a lumpy pillow against the rough plaster wall at the end of the bed, he picked up the script for The Billion-Dollar Pill. Now there was an invention he didn't need. His weight always stayed the same, his health had been excellent all his life, and his libido was in fine shape. At the moment he wished his libido would go into temporary hibernation.

  He flipped to the scene he'd been reading with Zoe and continued on past where they'd stopped. Oh, great. Tony kissed Vera. That meant the fun and games were about to start.

  If he could steer Zoe to the next scene, in which Tony did some of his investigative work trying to find out who was stalking Vera, that might not be so tough to read. Oh, wait. Vera wasn't in that scene. Zoe would want to skip over to the next one, and Flynn didn't like the looks of it at all. Tony and Vera were back in the lab, alone again. That was trouble.

  VERA

  You're making me nervous.

  Vera moves around the lab checking test tubes, typing notes into her computer.

  TONY

  I'm not doing anything.

  VERA

  That's the problem. You're not doing anything.

  TONY

  I'm guarding your body. But if you'd rather I did that standing up, fine with me.

  Tony stands.


  VERA

  You shouldn't have kissed me last night. Now I can't concentrate.

  TONY

  I can concentrate just fine.

  VERA

  Of course you can! All you have to do is watch me! How hard is that?

  TONY

  Some parts are very hard.

  VERA

  If that's some sort of double entendre, I'm not going to acknowledge it. I have work to do. I wish ... I wish you weren't here.

  TONY

  I'd love to accommodate you, toots, but you're so oblivious you'd let yourself be kidnapped. These jokers want that formula.

  VERA

  I wouldn't give it to them.

  Tony comes forward and leans on the lab table. TONY

  Yes, you would. I'm guessing it would take about five minutes of torture before you'd—

  VERA

  Torture? You're not serious.

  TONY

  You have really soft skin. Vera.

  VERA

  You're trying to scare me.

  TONY

  Yeah, I am. I don't like thinking of you tied up and at somebody's mercy... unless that person is me. I'll bet you'd like the kinky stuff.

  VERA

  Don't project your warped sexual appetites on me . TONY

  Oh yeah, you'd like it. I can see it in your eyes. VERA

  Can you see in my eyes that I'm going to report you for sexual harassment?

  Tony runs a finger down Vera's arm and she shivers.

  TONY

  No, you're not.

  Vera tries unsuccessfully to concentrate on her computer screen.

  VERA

  You are so incredibly arrogant.

  TONY

  And it turns you on, doesn't it?

  VERA