Rodeo Ashes Read online

  Quinn looked out the window, and Lacie followed his gaze. Stetson and Kendra headed for the driveway, their expressions taut.

  Sucking in a deep breath, Quinn turned away.

  An engine started up. Lacie’s gaze met Quinn’s. Still measuring. Still nothing.

  Adam entered the kitchen, followed by Clay.

  “Wonder why Stetson and Kendra left.” Clay wound his arm around Rayna’s waist.

  “They left?” Rayna handed him a glass of tea. “I think Kendra had baby withdrawals.”

  True. But Lacie had the distinct impression that whatever happened in the barn was the reason they’d left.

  And the reason Quinn avoided her eyes.

  ❧

  Lacie sank into the bed, emotionally and physically drained. First night at the ranch-house suite. At least Max had gone down easy in the next room.

  The silver-framed picture of Mel sat on her nightstand. One of the last of his photos taken before she’d told him she was pregnant. No stress or worries in his features, only happiness, taken right before a rodeo. He’d always been happiest before a rodeo. Until she’d told him she was pregnant.

  Her favorite paisley sheets were on the new bed. But she’d never slept with Mel in this bed. Thankfully, she’d never washed his pillowcase. She buried her nose in it, savoring the faint scent of his spicy cologne. Faded, but still there.

  Some psychiatrist would have a field day with her. She giggled. Mel’s clothes were packed up in a box now, but she still had his pillow to smell. Tears stung, and her laughter ended on a sob. She pressed a hand against her mouth and snuggled deeper in the covers.

  The king-size bed felt a mile wide. Empty and cold.

  “Jesus,” she whispered, “wrap Your arms around me. I’m so lonely.”

  Sweet peace and comfort enveloped her like a soft blanket. She closed her eyes.

  ❧

  The lie he’d told Lacie turned bitter in Quinn’s gut. He’d definitely known Kendra was in the barn. Just hadn’t expected to get busted. By her husband—no less.

  He swiped sweat from his brow with his shoulder. Why did fences have to need repairs in August? Couldn’t they wait until November to buckle and pull loose?

  He couldn’t tell Lacie he knew Kendra. Or what had almost happened between them. Or what had driven him to the bar.

  How bad had the mess in the barn exploded after he left? Neither Kendra or Stetson looked happy when they left.

  Gravel crunched in the driveway, and he straightened from repairing the slat in the rail fence. A blue Chevy 4x4. The door opened, and Stetson Wright vaulted out.

  Ready to kill him.

  He deserved it.

  “Kendra told me what happened.” Stetson’s tone and posture stiffened. “I mean—what didn’t happen.”

  “I’m sorry.” Quinn leaned his hand on the fence. “You have to believe me. I’m a different man than I was then.”

  Stetson’s mouth twitched. He nodded. “Kendra’s past is done. Including your part in it.” He shoved his hand toward Quinn.

  Quinn braced himself for the blow. But it didn’t come.

  He glanced at Stetson’s hand then clasped it. “The only reason I went to the barn last night was in case we keep running into each other. I didn’t want her to feel uncomfortable around me.”

  “She told me. Said you were the perfect gentlemen. She also told me why you were at the bar the night y’all met.”

  Quinn’s gaze dropped to the sun-baked grass.

  “Did you know Clay Warren and Mel Gentry were best friends?”

  Quinn nodded. “Warren dedicated his last season in Gentry’s honor.”

  “What are you up to, Remington?” Stetson took off his hat. “Of all the ranches in Texas, why did you buy the one in Aubrey near Mel Gentry’s best friend? And his widow?”

  “I didn’t know Lacie was his widow.” He blew out a sigh. “I knew Gentry’s widow lived somewhere near. But I didn’t know she was the Lacie Maxwell I graduated with.”

  “But you purposely moved near them? Why?”

  “I’m not sure.” Quinn rubbed the back of his hand over his brow. “Penance. I thought maybe I could be neighborly. Help ’em out anyway I could. To make up for. . .”

  Stetson adjusted his hat. “I’ve even questioned what would have happened if I’d been there that night, still working as a pickup man. But it’s rodeo. It’s part of the sport.”

  “I knew going in someone could get hurt or even die.” Quinn’s jaw clenched. “But when it happened, I felt responsible.”

  “No one in their right mind would blame you for Mel’s death.”

  Guess that makes me not in my right mind.

  “But why have you come now? When they’re both beginning to heal.”

  Because I need to find healing. Quinn met his gaze.

  “It will bring his death back when they learn who you are. You need to tell them. Or move on.”

  “What if I don’t tell ’em and I keep hanging around? You gonna tell?”

  “It’s not my place. It’s not Kendra’s, either. It’s yours.” Stetson jabbed his finger at him and turned toward his truck.

  Quinn’s place, but how could he tell them? They’d blame him like he blamed himself. It was his fault. No matter what Stetson said, Quinn had killed Mel Gentry as sure as if he’d shot him at point-blank range.

  ❧

  Lacie sat between Rayna and Kendra. New church, without Mel.

  Her heart sank to her stomach.

  With the move, it made sense to change churches. Besides, even after more than two years, every time she went to their old church, she imagined Mel’s casket in front of the pulpit. At least that memory wasn’t tied to this church.

  But too many changes were ganging up on her.

  The navy-blue padded pews cushioned her back. Plenty of bookracks held a nice selection of hymnals and Bibles. The frosted windows kept out the sun’s glare. Temperature, cool and comfortable. The people were nice and welcoming. How could she feel so lost?

  Max shifted on her lap.

  “You can take him to the nursery,” Rayna whispered.

  “We’ll work up to it. Let him get to know people here first.”

  “It’ll be my turn to work the nursery in a few weeks. It’ll be a good time to transition him.”

  “He’s usually pretty quiet. I kept him with me part of the time in our old church, so he’d learn how to sit and be quiet for the sermon.”

  “How are you feeling about everything?” Rayna patted her arm.

  Everyone else on the pew was part of a couple. Clay and Rayna, Stetson and Kendra, Adam and Gabby. All the children were in the nursery. Lacie and Max were odd ones out, as usual.

  “Lots of changes.”

  “You know we all love you and Max. We’ll do whatever we can to help you adjust.”

  “I know.” Her eyes stung, and she blinked. “Y’all have been great.”

  But her friends could only do so much. They couldn’t take away her loneliness, her guilt, or the daunting task of raising her son. Alone.

  She glanced at Kendra and Stetson. Not their usual talkative selves this morning. Something to do with Quinn?

  What had happened in the barn the other night? She couldn’t work for a man who caused problems for her friends. And why did her thoughts stray to him so often?

  ❧

  Lacie reined Copper into the long gravel drive. White rail fences lined each side. In the distance, Stetson drove his tractor.

  Good, she and Kendra wouldn’t be interrupted. She had to get to the bottom of the barn incident before she could decide on the carrot Quinn dangled in front of her. Oh, to work with horses and kids again, but not if Quinn had done anything to hurt her friend.

  Soon as church ended yesterday, Kendra and Stetson left. And they hadn’t shown up at Moms on Main, their typical eating place after morning services. Something was definitely going on.

  Lacie neared the house and slowed the horse’s gait
. Dust swirled.

  Kendra sat on the porch, rocking Danielle against her shoulder. She waved as Lacie dismounted.

  “Is she asleep?” Lacie whispered, tying Copper to the porch rail.

  “Yes, but nothing could wake her. Come join me.” She rhythmically patted Danielle’s back. “Did you ever think I’d be this content sitting on the porch of a farmhouse in Aubrey, Texas?”

  “The right man can change lots of things.” Lacie had dreamed of being a barrel racer. But Mel came along, and suddenly her dreams didn’t matter. She claimed the wooden rocker beside Kendra.

  “So what are you doing out our way?”

  “Why did you leave Rayna’s the other night? I’m worried about you.”

  “I hope we didn’t hurt Rayna’s feelings. She loves her get-togethers. And I do, too, but I wanted to be with Danielle.”

  “I know it’s none of my business, but did Quinn upset you? I saw him coming from the barn before you and Stetson left.”

  “No.” She took a deep breath. “Quinn and I met once. A long time ago. In a bar. Nothing happened, but he wanted to make sure I didn’t feel uncomfortable around him.”

  Thank goodness. He hadn’t made a pass at Kendra or tried to cause trouble between her and Stetson. But still. . . “He sure spends a lot of time in bars for someone who supposedly doesn’t drink.”

  “Why do you say that?”

  Lacie giggled. “Oh, I don’t know. Maybe because I ran into him in a bar.”

  Kendra’s eyes widened. “What were you doing there?”

  “Relax. It was against my will.” Lacie rolled her eyes. “Remember those friends of mine from high school who were in town for a wedding?”

  Kendra nodded.

  “They invited me out to dinner and then conveniently took me to a bar instead.”

  “You should have called us. We’d have come and gotten you.”

  “I get accused of being gullible a lot, so don’t tell Rayna.” Lacie’s cheeks warmed. “I decided to handle it myself.”

  “I’ll tell you what I tell our youth group—if you ever get in a situation like that again, call us. No questions asked.” Kendra winked.

  Lacie laughed. “I’ll remember that, but I’ll try not to be as clueless as a teenager in the future.”

  “Did Quinn take you home?”

  “No.” She blew out a sigh. “But he kept me from getting hit on. He said he was looking for one of his employees. And the guy did show up later.”

  “Quinn told me he hadn’t drank a drop since our encounter. That was over two years ago; he was going through some stuff then.”

  When Lacie had been reeling from Mel’s death and bringing Max into the world alone. She and Quinn had traversed a valley almost at the same time. What had happened to him?

  She’d love to ask but knew Kendra wouldn’t tell her.

  Kendra cleared her throat. “How come you’re so interested? Is he an old flame?”

  “No.” The word wrenched from her. Mel was the only flame she’d ever had. “We graduated together. That’s all. But he offered me a part-time job teaching kids to ride.”

  “Are you going to take it?”

  “I haven’t decided.”

  “I don’t mean to get personal, but are you okay on money? You know Stetson and I. . .”

  “I don’t need the money, but I loved teaching kids to ride and working with horses. I miss it.”

  Danielle let out a contented sigh. Kendra snuggled her closer.

  Lacie didn’t know what she’d do if she had to leave Max every day to work a forty-hour week. Especially when he’d only been a baby. No wonder Kendra wanted to spend every spare moment with her daughter.

  “Have you thought about quitting work?” Lacie chewed on the corner of her lip. “Or at least going part time like Rayna? Or maybe even starting your own photography studio?”

  “I’m giving my notice tomorrow. Somehow, my career isn’t that important anymore.”

  This from the woman who used to breathe photography?

  “Something’s going on. I’m a good listener.”

  Kendra’s chin quivered. She hid most of her face in Danielle’s neck. “Lynn and her family are moving back.”

  Lacie’s heart sank.

  “Lynn was seventeen, pregnant, and unmarried. And she was one of the good girls. She got taken in by the wrong guy.” Kendra swiped a tear away. “You know Trent, the guy with all the tattoos?”

  “He’s Danielle’s father?”

  Kendra nodded. “Trent wasn’t a Christian then. Lynn’s dad was a deacon, and they were so embarrassed, they moved away. They hoped to move back some day. And we hoped so, too, but they were afraid if they returned, people might figure it out. So they stayed put.

  “Once they decided to give up the baby for adoption, Stetson and I wanted to take her. We loved Lynn and felt like our decision would ease their minds.”

  Lacie touched Danielle’s silky hair. “You’re afraid once she gets a load of this little keeper, she’ll change her mind.”

  “I feel like such a traitor.” Kendra’s hand trembled as she continued to pat Danielle’s back. “I’m the youth director’s wife, and I love Lynn, but now I want her to stay away from Danielle. And Trent, too.” Her voice shook. “He knew Lynn was pregnant, but not that we were the adoptive parents. It might be my imagination, but I’ve caught him staring at Danielle lately.”

  “You’re not a traitor.” Lacie patted her arm. “You eased Lynn’s mind and gave Danielle a loving home. And if Trent knows, maybe he’s grateful to you.”

  “I hope so.”

  “I’ll pray so. I hate to leave you upset”—Lacie stood—“but, I better git. Left Max playing at Rayna’s.”

  “I’m fine. We’ll be fine.”

  She gave Kendra a quick squeeze and stepped off the porch.

  Oh Lord, please let this little happy family stay intact. She mounted Copper, waved, and trotted the horse down the long drive. But when she got to the end, she turned away from Clay’s ranch and toward Quinn’s.

  ❧

  Clip-clop, clip-clop. The unmistakable sound of horse hooves on pavement. Quinn rounded the house from checking on the new colt. He shielded his eyes from the sun’s glare and looked toward the road. A sorrel horse, its mane and tail slightly lighter than its coppery coat. The blond rider reined the horse into his long drive, Texas dust trailing behind.

  Suspiciously similar to Lacie. His breath froze in his lungs.

  The rider drew closer. Rhinestones glistened on her jacket, belt, and boots. Her red blouse matched her lips. It was Lacie. No—the sun had cooked his brain. Causing hallucinations.

  “Nice day, huh?” The hallucination spoke, reined the horse to a halt, and swung down from her mount. Rhinestones lined the back pockets of her jeans, too.

  He caught a whiff of haunting perfume. Sweet Honesty. His mom had sold Avon for years and filled lots of orders for Lacie’s mom. Lacie had worn the fragrance since high school. The apparition was real. “What brings you by?”

  “That job you mentioned.”

  five

  Quinn’s heart pounded in his ears. Tell her he’d already hired someone. Push her away. He was no good for her. But how could he help her if he didn’t spend time with her? “It’s still open. You interested?”

  “I loved working with kids.” Her blue eyes shone. “I miss it and want to get back in it.”

  “I can call the folks who asked about lessons and set some up for you. Any time of day better for you? I don’t want to cut into your time with Max.”

  “I’m thinking during his nap time—midday. But let me make a few arrangements, and I’ll get back with you.” She crossed her arms just above her tiny waist. “I’m definitely interested.”

  His heart dissolved to mush. If only she were talking about being interested in him. But that could never be. “I’ll be waiting.”

  “If I take the job, would you mind if I boarded Copper here and maybe practiced some barrels? I
’d pay you.”

  “Not necessary.” He lowered his hat, hoping she couldn’t see in his eyes what she did to him. “You can board her and practice here, even if you don’t take the job.”

  “No, I insist on paying. Clay’s arena is really busy, and he won’t let me pay him, so I don’t ride her much because I feel like I’m costing him.”

  “If it makes you feel better to pay, I reckon I could accept a small fee. I’d love to see you run barrels again.” He remembered her barrel-queen days well. A tiny porcelain doll riding her steed like it was part of her, blond hair streaming out behind. A vision on horseback.

  “Good. I’ll get back with you. And thanks.” She mounted her horse in one smooth motion then rode away.

  He didn’t breathe properly for a full five minutes.

  His cell rang—breaking the spell of her perfume he could still smell.

  “Hey Quinn. It’s Rayna. We’re having a trail ride and picnic next Saturday evening. We’d love for you to come. Kendra and Stetson are coming—you met them the other night—plus a few couples from church, and Lacie.”

  The last name on the list was all he needed to hear. Turn her down. Turn her down. But he couldn’t. Lacie was like a drug, and he couldn’t stay away.

  Even if she could never be his. He had to keep a tight rein on his heart.

  “Sure, I’ll be there. Thanks for asking.”

  ❧

  Lacie helped Max climb the training-arena fence. Positioning herself behind him in case he fell, she propped the toe of her boot on the bottom rail. This used to be her arena.

  The new teacher, in her early twenties, led the small boy on horseback round and round. Dust flew with each hoof beat. She was good with the horse and the boy. Plenty of patience.

  “Go horsey. Go.” Max cheered.

  “Shh. We can’t disturb them. He’s learning to ride.”

  Max watched intently.

  “Trish does a great job,” Clay whispered, standing behind her. “But I wish I could hire you back.”

  Max forgot all about the horse. “Cway.” He reached for Clay.

  “How’s my favorite cowpoke?” Clay scooped him up.

  “That boy’s learning to ride horsey.” Max pointed.

  “He sure is.” Clay propped Max on the fence’s top rail, holding him secure.