LOVE IN LOCKDOWN: A Charity Anthology Read online

  "See, we're bonding already. We both have idiot exes. Now, off you go to pack your stuff. Give me a call when you're done and I'll come pick you up."

  "Er, that's okay, I drive."

  "Okay, well, see you shortly then."

  Rosie nodded and then made her way out of the pub.

  I stood and thought about what was happening. There was a virus spreading around the world, and my cleaner was coming to live with me because of it.

  The world was becoming very, very surreal and like a dystopian movie. News reports every day at five pm with updates from politicians and medics. Threats of complete lockdown.

  Like I said… it was very surreal, and I didn't know which of the two was flipping me out more. The thoughts of the virus, or the thoughts of having a pretty woman coming to share my living space for an unquantified period of time.

  Chapter Two

  Rosie

  If I'd thought that the recent news and events currently happening in the world were strange, then along came an offer to move in with my boss. A man who, despite the fact I'd worked for him for over two years, had never really communicated with me, beyond apologising when the public toilets were full of drunks' vomit.

  At least I had somewhere to stay now, and not only that, but it was close to my mum's which was reassuring in case she needed me for anything.

  Now though, I had to work out how to not give away the fact I had a super-secret crush on my boss. Yes, that's right. I had been lusting after Dan from a distance ever since I'd met him at my interview. In fact, the only reason I'd gone for the job in the first place was because a) I needed a job quickly after my divorce, and b) I'd been in the pub with my mum and spotted the hot landlord. My secret crush and my job had worked out well for me. I didn't have to deal with people much, which I preferred, and Dan hadn't noticed I existed beyond nodding hello in a morning and goodbye when I was leaving. Seeing as I'd preferred to keep him as a fantasy figure, in case he revealed himself to be as much of an arsehole as my ex, 'Fantasy Dan', was perfect.

  My heart thudded in my chest as I anticipated the fact that I was going to be living in Dan's spare room and we were going to be having to share his living space for weeks, twelve weeks at least. I wasn't sure at this point which I was most nervous about, catching coronavirus or being in such close proximity to Dan.

  You couldn't blame me. Dan looked like a more macho version of Joe Wicks and we all knew how many mummies and other women got up at nine am to do 'PE with Joe'. There was no doubt in my mind that across the nation some kids were getting off their arses at home for the very first time, forced to put down their X-boxes and iPads to perform the plank while mummy checked out Joe's guns.

  I'd also developed a very weird crush on Boris Johnson, which I put down to that strange phenomenon people get when they start to fall in love with their doctors or therapists. He was saving the nation and so all of a sudden he'd become more appealing, that had to be the reason. Actually, the less I dwelt on this the better as I was worried for my own mental health, but the fact was every time he failed to be the one speaking at five pm I was disappointed and for someone who'd never even voted for the Tories, it was concerning how bereft I felt.

  Maybe this was a coping mechanism? I couldn't help but worry about my mum. She was a fiercely independent woman and having to stay inside would drive her insane, whereas for me, I liked nothing better than peace and quiet and my own company.

  And now I was going to have to live with someone else. Talk to them when I was socially anxious. Yes, I had my own room, but we had to work out the meal situation. Would we cook our own food, or was it better to team up, take turns? I was dreading it and I hadn't even moved in yet. I'd found having to talk to staff at the hotel bad enough, and now I was going to be looking and chatting to Dan, my super-secret crush.

  My mum spotted me walking up our drive and opened the window. I'd phoned and warned her I needed my things. "I'll go and stand in the garden, darling, while you pack up your stuff."

  I nodded. "Okay, Mum."

  "Are you sure we can't do this the other way around, and I'll go live in the pub?"

  I laughed. "Dan wouldn't be able to handle you, Mum. It's better this way."

  "Well, if you get chance to climb on that dick of his, get to it. I would." She yelled. Of course given we were speaking from the required distance and I was outside and she was shouting through the window, the dog walker and the jogger both heard this too.

  I made my way into the house. The quicker this was done the better.

  After more shouts of what I should do with Dan if I got the opportunity, shouted this time through the back door and witnessed by our neighbour putting her washing out, who shouted over that she'd happily 'give him one too', I took my two packed suitcases containing what I thought I might need and dragged them one by one to my car. It seemed strange to drive to the pub, given its short distance away, but I wasn't dragging two cases down the street. My car was probably better in the pub car park anyway as it was round the back and had security cameras on it.

  Mum came back to the front window as I walked up the path.

  "I'll phone daily. Ring me whenever you like, and I'll do a shop on Wednesday so let me know what you need. Be getting a list together."

  "Do you think Ann Summers are doing deliveries?" Mum asked me. "And also do you think a new decent dildo is classed as an essential shopping item?"

  As I looked at her in horror, given a family of four had just walked past—plus, I was shaking my head trying to get her words to fall out of my ears, because just… no—she waved her hand in front of her face. "Forget that. It'll be on Google. That's one thing about you not being here, I can have some solo time without worrying about you hearing me scream."

  It was at that point I realised that after this virus had passed it was time for me to find a new place to live, because the next time my mum went hysterical I'd not know whether it was her hitting her g-spot or seeing a spider.

  As I pulled up into the pub car park a couple of minutes later, Dan appeared. I watched him in my rear-view mirror as he approached the car. He was wearing a t-shirt and some baggy sweats and looked at ease with himself, whereas I felt like an anxious mess. In fact, as I got out of the car and began to feel my hands go clammy, I actually considered for a moment that I might be starting with symptoms until I admitted to myself that it was Dan, and being about to live with Dan, making me a hot mess.

  Taking a deep breath, I unlocked my door and stepped out of the car.

  "I thought I’d help you unpack, only usually I’d be dealing with a busy pub and instead I actually don't know what to do with myself."

  "Thanks, I have two cases. They're in the boot. Just go steady because they're heavy." I began to walk around to the back of the car and saw Dan scoff at my 'heavy' remark. Indeed he lifted the top case out without much bother and then he tried to lift the other one.

  Pain marked his brow and he turned to look at me. "What the actual fuck have you packed? Bricks to make your own place in the car park?"

  "Books."

  I'd had to stand at the back of my car and take half the books out, lift the case into the car and then repack; so I knew how heavy it was. I watched Dan's arms wobble a little until the case hit the floor with a resounding thud.

  "How many have you packed?"

  "Lots of them. Because I figured I'd have a lot of time to read and then what if I didn't like what I was reading? I needed a selection."

  "Have you heard of a Kindle?"

  "Yes, but I love the smell of a book, and to be honest, my mum's been moaning about how many I have, so I figured if I took some and read them, I could pass them onto charity and make some space. It's a win-win."

  "Not for my back it isn't." He rubbed his lumbar region to demonstrate his point.

  "I did warn you it was heavy. It's not my fault if you don't listen."

  "I promise to pay you full attention in the future."

  Well that'll make a ch
ange I thought to myself, while Dan suddenly seemed to go a little red in the face. That made another change. It was usually me blushing. Oh God, was he getting ill?

  "You're not feeling hot, are you? Only you're a little flushed."

  "It's just this warm weather. They reckon it's going to be a very hot weekend."

  He went even redder.

  "Well, I hope people remember about social distancing when they go out to the parks." I said.

  "Your mum okay?"

  I nodded. "Couldn't wait to get rid of me."

  He began to drag the heavier case up the car park. "Come on then, let's get you settled in and then we can watch the update at five."

  We made our way into the pub and I gave Dan the lighter case to take upstairs and said I'd carry my books up in stages.

  "Why not set them up on one of the tables, or the counter? It's not like we're using downstairs much."

  I toyed with my bottom lip for a minute. "Yeah, but if someone broke in and took them. They're like my babies."

  Dan chuckled. "You think someone's going to break into my bar and take your books?" He pointed to the bottles and bottles of liquor and the fridges full of beer.

  "Well…"

  He lifted up a handful of books. "Come on, let's put them in your room. There's a desk in there you can put them on."

  I'd been here less than ten minutes and I guessed Dan already thought I was a crazy person. No one batted an eye if someone watched every episode of Coronation Street, but loving books was odd.

  At five pm Dan shouted the update was on and I went into his living room, sat on his sofa beside him and watched it. As we did so we discussed the pertinent points and got annoyed together when a journalist asked a repetitive or idiotic question about the handling of Covid-19.

  "They should wear t-shirts that say 'it's too early to say'." Dan said.

  "Or 'don't be a Covidiot'." I replied.

  "What?"

  "Covidiot. It's what the people not listening to government advice have been named."

  Dan clutched his belly as he had a full on chuckle. "Covidiot. I love it." He said.

  My own tummy churned. His t-shirt had ridden up a little, exposing his toned stomach and some dark hair.

  I wondered if Ann Summer's had any two-for-one offers. I should message my mother.

  Chapter Three

  Dan

  I had two microwave curries in the fridge and so after we'd watched the government update, we chatted some more on the subject while eating. At some point I needed to find another subject other than Covid-19, but I didn't want Rosie to feel like she had to tell me everything about herself. She was entitled to her privacy.

  After we'd eaten, Rosie insisted on washing up the two plates and cutlery used and then she made an excuse that she was tired and went to bed. Whether she was truly tired or making an excuse to leave me to my own living quarters, I wasn't sure, but I did presume that over the next few days things would get a lot less awkward as we got used to each other.

  So I wasn't expecting Rosie to walk into my room that night and climb into bed beside me.

  I'd only just switched off my own light as I wasn't used to going to sleep early, so when I heard her footsteps come out of her room, I’d thought she was visiting the bathroom. Until my door opened and Rosie's figure came in.

  "Err, is everything okay?" I asked her, but there was no response. She just walked around my room, pulled back the duvet and climbed in. Then she snuggled down the bed facing the opposite direction to me and went back to sleep.

  What the fuck?

  I could only assume that she'd sleepwalked. In the morning she'd be thankful she was fully clad in pyjamas. Me? I couldn't help but be a little disappointed. But now what did I do? Did I go and get in the spare bed? My own eyes were starting to droop. Fuck it. She was right at the other side of the bed. I'd go to sleep and then we could have a good laugh about it in the morning.

  I knew exactly the point where Rosie woke up because she jerked up out of the covers shouting, "Oh my god, oh my god."

  Pulling myself up and resting my back against the headboard while I yawned and rubbed at my eyes, I smirked at her and said. "Morning, thanks for last night."

  Her eyes widened and she gasped and then she pulled the covers off her and looked down, closing her eyes with relief as she saw she was fully dressed.

  "I may have forgotten to mention I occasionally sleepwalk. Dan, I'm so sorry. I must have scared you to death."

  "Seriously, don't worry about it. I can think of worse things to happen to me. In fact, worse things have happened to me in the bedroom. You can't help sleepwalking. As long as you don't try to take advantage of me, it's cool."

  "I'll buy a lock when I next go to the shops."

  "Not easily available from supermarkets, and don't make a special trip for a non-essential item. Anyway, what's to stop you unlocking it in your sleep?"

  "True. Maybe it wasn't such a good idea me moving in. You didn't expect I'd climb in your bed, did you?"

  "You hear me complaining?" I cupped my ear. "No, me neither."

  That gorgeous rose hue decorated her cheeks again. She swung her legs out of bed. "Well I don't know about you, but I could really use a coffee right now."

  "Sounds great. Milky for me, no sugar."

  "You sweet enough?" She asked, and then she looked towards the wall, her mind gone elsewhere. "That's what my mum always says. This is so bloody weird."

  "Exactly. Life is weird and we should just embrace it. Coffee it is. I can rustle up some toast or I do have cereal, and then it's supposed to be a gorgeous day, so I'm going to mow the beer garden and drag my no-doubt cobwebby loungers out. I'll hose them down and then set them up. You can read and ignore me, or chat. Whatever you like. But I'm going to make the most of this downtime. I might even see if I've some paint left in the shed and make a start on repainting the fences.

  "I could give you a hand painting. I don't mind anything like that."

  "Fab, let's get up then and get to it. I'll give you time to use the bathroom. Shout me when you're done."

  She looked hesitant. "Okay. I can use the staff washroom downstairs though."

  "Don't be silly, my casa is your casa."

  "Right, thanks." She left the room and I sat back thinking how nice it had actually been to wake up beside someone and have them to talk to.

  It looked like this virus was going to make me take a close look at the life I was living.

  My phone rang indicating I had a FaceTime call coming through and I swiped it from my bedside table.

  Rachel.

  "Hi, Rachel. Is everything okay?"

  "You tell me, you dark horse. I hear you've an opportunity to get back in the saddle."

  "What are you talking about?" I asked exasperated.

  "I'm just messing with you. Rosie's mum lives near my mum and she's telling everyone that her daughter has kindly been given lodgings with you and that she hopes you both fall madly in love so that something good can come out of this terrible virus. My mum said she doesn't usually take much notice of her gossip but when she mentioned the Nag's Head she took note."

  I brought my hand up to my forehead. "Oh God."

  "So what's this Rosie like then?"

  As Rosie's shift finished way before Rachel's started they'd never met.

  "Small, blonde, nice person, and don't even think about it."

  "What?"

  "Suggesting me and Rosie might get together. I'm helping a colleague out. That's it."

  "Is she pretty and a similar age to you?"

  I huffed. "I've no idea how old she is and yes, she's pretty. Have you finished your twenty questions? Where's Evan?"

  "Evan is at the side of Rachel having a good laugh at your expense." A male voice boomed out.

  "I'll ban you from the pub."

  "Yeah, not something I need to worry about right now is it?"

  "You and your husband are annoying." I told Rachel.

  "Is it
because we're madly in love and you're missing that in your life?"

  "No, it's because you're holding me up from getting my breakfast."

  She narrowed her eyes at me but in a jokey way. "Right, well, go get your breakfast and why not make the most of getting to know Rosie and just see what happens. You have so much in common. You both are divorced… and," she struggled to think and I saw her run her tongue around the inside of her mouth.

  "And…" I prompted.

  "You both work at the Nag's Head."

  "Yeah, thanks for that, and, Rachel."

  "Uh-huh?"

  "If you call me again for anything else non-emergency, you're fired." I told her.

  "Oh, I'm not calling again." She smiled with a glint in her eyes. "I don't want to potentially disturb anything good. Byeee."

  She ended the FaceTime.

  Gah!

  "Dan, the bathroom's free." Came from the other side of my door.

  Shower. Breakfast. Get the hell out of the house and concentrate on mowing and painting. Take my mind off the fact that Rosie was a single, sexy woman who'd slept in my bed, albeit innocently.

  Of course, being a man, who'd shared bedroom space with a sexy, single woman; when I got into the shower, my mind decided to take this innocent evening to a whole other level until I yanked my cock so much I think I'd added another inch to its length.

  And then I had to walk into the kitchen where a smiling Rosie placed coffee and toast in front of me and I had to separate lodger-Rosie from just-took-my-cock-deep-in-her-mouth-fantasy-Rosie.

  After breakfast I got busy in the garden and Rosie began reading. When she offered to help me paint, I said I was okay and so she retreated back to her lounger and let me get on with it.

  That night I sent for pizza.

  "We need to talk about food." Rosie said as she devoured another mouthful of pepperoni. I didn't want to talk about food. I wanted to watch her eat more of the pizza and then have another shower where I thought about my cock in her mouth.

  "Huh? What do you mean? I'm full, you can eat the rest of it." Happily.