The Impressionist Read online

  Remember the story of Joseph in the Bible? Like us, he too was mistreated when he was sold as a slave and falsely imprisoned. Yet he remained faithful to the cause. In the end, in God’s perfect time, Joseph was delivered from that prison of injustice and God put him in a place of leadership over the whole country. If we remain faithful, Jim Ed, in God’s time, He too will bring us out! One day there will be black governors and even presidents. And because of Joseph’s attitude, when he was finally lifted up to a place of leadership, he ruled not out of anger, but forgiveness and compassion. If Joseph would have lashed out in anger and bitterness, he never would have been promoted. In the end, Joseph forgave those who had mistreated him.

  We have to forgive those who mistreat us and stay the course of doing right. But I want you to know that not all white people are misguided and not all black people are innocent. All people, black and white, are created by God equally and equally everyone will face their Creator one day to give an account. Every person, regardless of their color, needs God’s mercy and grace.

  Enough lecturing. Everyone here says hello. Mama is frying chicken and cooking a batch of butter beans and rice, with mustard greens. Wish you were here to eat some with us. I love you and miss you more than you can ever imagine.

  Love,

  Christina

  P.S. Hope you like the pictures!

  Christina’s letters were a welcomed break for Jim Ed, and he was crazy in love with her, even if he didn’t see eye to eye with her philosophy about dealing with their struggles. What she wrote sounded great and nice and ideal on paper, but Jim Ed didn’t believe that kind of thinking would change anything. What was getting the enemy’s attention in the war was pure force! He simply tolerated her idealism and returned home with an increased zeal to wage his own war for equality on American soil. By the time Jim Ed was honorably discharged, he was a powder keg with a short fuse ready to explode. When he finally set foot back in Pine Grove there was a great reunion with family and friends, but as soon as life got back to normal, Jim Ed was confronted with more discrimination and his resentment intensified.

  Outside of her deep faith, Christina’s big thing was education. “We have to promote learning as a means to our growth and development,” she said. During this time, Christina was honored with a scholarship in education to Jackson State University, a school about an hour and a half up the road from Pine Grove. That scholarship was her only hope for a college education because her family didn’t have the money for tuition.

  Jim Ed had the G.I. Bill to help with his tuition, but he was caught in a Catch-22 situation. Because he had to go to work, he’ d only finished the eighth grade. Jim Ed’s family was so poor when he was growing up that at fourteen he had to quit school to help his Papa milk cows on one of the local dairy farms. At that time, because of the poverty of most blacks in the south and having to work, it was hard for many black children to finish school.

  Christina had a couple of things going for her. Her dad was the pastor of the Mount Zion Church. that had its own school. Back then, because of the lack of state funding for the black public schools, many of the black churches formed their own schools to educate their children. And because her dad was a pastor, Christina didn’t have to quit in order to work.

  For a while, Jim Ed drove up to Jackson on Fridays to pick up Christina from school and bring her home for the weekends. One Friday afternoon when they were driving home, he made a little detour to the banks of the Tallahala River.

  13

  I looked up over Jim Ed’s head and couldn’t believe my eyes! Behind him, on the trail in the distance, was none other than Eric heading our way. Really? You gotta be kidding me? I thought. Hoping he wouldn’t recognize me, I turned my back and crunched down on the bench.

  “What are you doing?” asked Jim Ed.

  “It’s that Eric guy I was telling you about,” I said. “I don’t want him to see me. Don’t draw attention to yourself. Look out over the lake or something.”

  Jim Ed just kept painting, only now holding his head up high in defiance to what I had asked. After a moment or so, I peeked around thinking maybe Eric had passed. Not a chance. He’d already spotted me and was zeroing in.

  “Adam!” he called out, jogging right up to the bench between Jim Ed and I. “Twice in one morning! Must be a Divine Appointment!”

  “Praise the Lord,” I mumbled under my breath.

  “What are you doing, man?” he asked taking a swallow of bottled water. “You’ve been here this whole time?” As he spoke, his back was to Jim Ed never acknowledging him. “You took off in such a hurry back at the store,” he said, wiping his mouth with his forearm. “Thought your family needed you?”

  “They do.”

  Eric nodded toward Jim Ed. “Who’s this guy?” he asked in a demeaning sort of way. “Is he painting your picture?”

  “It’s called a portrait actually,” I said with an attitude. “Here, let me introduce you. Eric, this is Jim Ed. Jim Ed, this is Eric.” From his stool, Jim Ed held out his hand for Eric to shake, but Eric only looked down on the portrait.

  “Different,” he said cynically. “Doesn’t look like Adam at all.”

  “That’s because you’re not seeing with the right eyes,” Jim Ed replied coolly.

  Doesn’t look like me? I thought. Now I was really intrigued and stood up to peek.

  “Sit down, Adam!” thundered Jim Ed. “It’s not time.”

  “Yes, sir,” I said plopping back down.

  Eric glanced at me with an expression that said, “Who is this joker? What the heck are you doing here, Adam?”

  “It’s a gift,” I told him.

  Eric shook his head. “Sure man, whatever you say.” He twisted the cap back on his bottle of water. “Well, gotta scoot. Got a lot on my plate. You know I’m preparing for my big presentation tomorrow at the church?”

  I shook my head. “Nope, didn’t know that.”

  “It’s been in the bulletin for a month, Adam.”

  “Oh yeah,” I said scratching my head, “Seems I remember something about it now.” Once again I lied, now completely certain I was going straight to hell!

  “It’s called ‘How to Raise Champions for God.’ Pastor Rick asked me to teach on it. See you tomorrow.” At that, he started jogging off.

  “Eric,” Jim Ed called out kindly but sternly.

  Eric stopped and turned around. “Yeah?”

  “How’s that little problem you’ve got with your computer?”

  Eric looked perplexed. “What are you talking about, dude?”

  “I think you know,” said Jim Ed.

  “No. I really don’t,” said Eric, jogging off again, this time faster.

  “We’re as sick as our secrets, Eric.” Jim Ed yelled out. “You know…those things that are secretly tormenting you.” Eric never turned around but slowed to almost a stop keeping his legs moving in place. I didn’t know what was happening but felt the electricity of the moment. “God wants to set you free, Eric,” Jim Ed continued. “He really loves you. You can stop the performance.”

  Eric slowed and then turned his body around again to face Jim Ed. I thought for sure he was going to blow a gasket or something, but instead sorrowfulness dropped across his face like a wet blanket and a fist-size knot rose up in his throat. His legs became still and he swallowed hard.

  “God wants to free you from your diluted self and the lies,” Jim Ed said warm and inviting like he had done with me, “so you can become the authentic man you were created to be.”

  Eric glanced at me, back at Jim Ed, back at me, then back at Jim Ed again. I could tell he was wrestling in his mind, didn’t want to expose himself. Just then, his whole body began to shake. He dropped his water bottle and fell to the ground on his knees.

  Jim Ed walked over, knelt down and gently touched Eric’s shoulder. “God wants you to know that you are His, Eric,” said Jim Ed. “Never doubt that.”

  I couldn’t hear the rest of the conversation, but
I could see the impact it was having on Eric. It was as if Jim Ed and Eric were the only two people in the area. Their conversation was intense, and Eric covered his face as tears streamed down his face. Then Jim Ed said, “Now go in peace and prepare well for your presentation tomorrow. Some young parents need to hear what you have to say.”

  “Thank you,” Eric said, rising to his feet. He turned to me with a contrite look on his face and nodded like an unspoken sign of acceptance. The pasted-on grin was gone and the Eric I was seeing now was someone I could probably spend some time with. He then reached out his hand toward Jim Ed. Jim Ed grasped his hand, holding it tightly for a few long seconds before releasing it. Eric turned and took off down the trail.

  Jim Ed resumed his painting as if nothing happened while I sat there amazed at what had just transpired before me. A warm peace filled my heart as Jim Ed continued his story.

  14

  A gravel road wound from the bridge down to the Tallahala River’s edge and the two of them were sitting in Jim Ed’s parked truck. It was a place where the local coloreds came to fish, swim, and picnic. The sun was beginning to set and he and Christina were gazing out over the water. “Ain’t That a Shame” by Fats Domino was playing on the truck’s scratchy radio. Christina was swaying, tapping her fingers to the beat on Jim Ed’s thigh. He let the song finish then turned the radio off. The only sounds were the whine of the locusts in concert with the churning river water where it flowed over some fallen trees. Jim Ed pulled Christina closer and tenderly kissed her on the lips. The aroma of her perfume and hair combined with the moistness of her lips and the softness of her skin overpowered him. He buried his face in her hair and breathed in her essence.

  “It sure is beautiful out here,” he whispered in her ear. “I thought about this place a lot when overseas.”

  Christina pushed him away. “I thought you only thought about me,” she said, her lips forming a silly smile.

  “You know I missed you the most.”

  “Just making sure. A woman has to know about these things.”

  “That reminds me,” said Jim Ed, reaching into the truck’s glove compartment for something. “Close your eyes. I have a surprise for you. And don’t you peek.”

  Christina squeezed her eyes shut.

  “Okay, now open them.”

  In his hands, Jim Ed was holding up a silver heart-shaped locket on a chain.

  “It was my grandmother’s,” he said. “She passed it down to my Mama who passed it on to me so I could give it to you.”

  “Oh, Jim Ed, it’s beautiful!”

  “Look Christina,” said Jim Ed. “I’m not too good at fancy words, so I’m just gonna says what’s on my mind. …Christina, from the first day we met, I knew you was the one for me. And I…I…hope you think I’m the one for you. When overseas, nearly all I could think about was getting back home to you. It was the thoughts of you that helped keep me safe.”

  “And a lot of prayers from me and your family,” added Christina.

  “Yes, of course. But, what I’m trying to say is…Christina… will you marry me? …Before you answer, I have another surprise. I got me a good job in Jackson now. Start the first of next month. Because of working on trucks in the Army, I got hired as a mechanic at the Sears & Roebuck Auto Center. The pay is decent so I can at least put a roof over our heads till you finish school and we can get something better and—”

  Christina placed one finger over Jim Ed’s mouth. “Shhh,” she said, moving her body closer and cuddling up under his arm. There was a long silence and Jim Ed was starting to get nervous. He’ d already been sweating.

  “Mrs. Christina Porter,” she said. “I like the sound of that.”

  “So that means yes?”

  “What do you think? Of course it means yes.”

  “Yeeeee Haaaa!” Jim Ed let out a holler so loud that tradition says it could be heard all the way to Osyka twenty miles down the road.

  “Jim Ed,” Christina said, “Calm down. I will marry you, but there is one condition though.”

  Jim Ed’s holler quickly became a whimper. “Yes ma’am?”

  “You have to let me teach you. Because you’re a veteran now you can take the new G.E.D. test and then you can go to college on the G.I. Bill. You have to take advantage of the opportunity, Jim Ed.”

  “What?”

  “Hey, you think I’m joking? This is no game to me. I’m serious. You let me work with you and one day you will go to college too. You have so much to offer, Jim Ed.”

  Jim Ed turned his head away from Christina and looked out the truck window thinking about her proposal. “All right, I guess so,” he said, turning his head back. “Mrs. Porter-to-be, it’s a deal.”

  “You promise, Jim Ed? Because I know you’re a man of your word. If you let me down, I’ll be so disappointed because I know you can do it. You’ve got great gifts in you that God wants to develop, Jim Ed.”

  “I promise.”

  “It’s not going to be easy.”

  “I said I promise.”

  “Now you can holler,” said Christina.

  “Yeeeee Haaaa!”

  15

  Jim Ed cleared his throat. “Sure do miss her. Sometimes I get so lonely, but not lonely from being by myself. I see a lot of people—have many friends. I get lonely for my life partner, my soul mate. When Christina died, it was like the best part of me died right along with her. You have to understand, we went through a whole life together and after each battle we fought and won, we became that much stronger. It’s great to have someone in the foxholes of life with you. She was the best thing that ever happened to me outside of the good Lord Himself. You know, in the beginning, our relationship was mostly about our physical attraction and passion—all the fluff of infatuation. As we grew older, all that slowed down. But you know what?”

  “What?” I said, sitting up on the edge of the bench.

  “Infatuation gave way to something much better… authentic love. You see, when I saw my life’s partner coming through for me again and again, standing by my side, getting dirty with me in the foxholes of life, my love for her grew that much deeper. Wasn’t always easy. Had to push through some hard times. I remember when our girl Tallah died. Got the measles just two years before the vaccine. Two years! Only eight years old, my baby girl was just beginning to live. Can’t imagine the heartache. Something you never get over. Just learn to live with it. Still hurts after all these years. I was so mad at God.

  “Christina went into deep grief too, but she never got angry with God though she had a ton of questions for Him. I thought for sure that tragedy was going to be the end of my faith and maybe us, but just the opposite happened. Jesus met us and carried us. The only way I can explain… it’s supernatural. Sometimes tragedy drives couples apart, but Christina and I got closer, the bond between us stronger.

  “As time passed, even though she was still the most beautiful thing my eyes ever did see, her outer shell started to mean less and less because now I was in love with her true being, her character. And I tell you what, that woman had some kind of character. She stuck by my side through thick and thin, pushing me, encouraging me. After a while, our souls just meshed, became one. In the beginning, we were one in body, but as we grew together, we became one in spirit. A lot of people get married and become one in body, but they never become one in spirit.

  “When I first married Christina, I felt honored that she married me—couldn’t imagine that out of everyone in the whole world she actually picked me to spend the rest of her life with. Think about it. That’s some kind of honor—a person picking you to spend their whole life with. I suppose I never really got over it—the honor of it all.”

  “You were fortunate to have found that kind of love in life,” I said. “Some people never do.”

  “You sure are right. I was truly fortunate. This may surprise you, but you know what I miss the most?”

  I shrugged my shoulders.

  “The hugs. They were the best par
t. I long to touch Christina’s soft skin and to smell her sweetness. My favorite parts of the day were in the mornings and the evenings when we’d hug in the bed. And when she’d be standing in the kitchen, I’d walk up behind her and wrap my arms around her from behind. Squeeze her tight and nibble on her neck and ears and smell her hair. Her scent was like a drug. I tell you, it’d put me in a state. Sometimes I can still smell her around the house, almost as if she were standing right in front of me. This morning I was standing at the kitchen sink, and I swear I could smell her. You know what I’m talking about—that unique scent that each person has? Every day that goes by, however, her scent fades from the house a little bit more. Sometimes I’ll walk around the house like some crazy old man, sniffing pillows and towels and things, trying desperately to recapture her scent.”

  “That’s not crazy, Jim Ed.”

  “Whenever I touched her and took in her scent, it gave me energy for living. And you know what else we’d do? … Almost every night Christina would sit down at one end of the couch and I’d sit down on the other and she’d put her feet up in my lap and I’d rub them while we watched TV. She loved me rubbing her feet, but to tell you the truth, I think I loved rubbing them more. It was real calming for me…we didn’t have to be going out on the town all the time in order to be content. We were just as happy sitting on the couch being together. I’m gonna tell you something else that I know you’re not going to believe.” Jim Ed grinned like a little child.

  “As we got older, the loving got better. Most of the time, it was so good we couldn’t hardly believe it ourselves. I tell young people, you can’t compare a one-night stand to the loving that comes from years of real love and partnership— loving when you’re one in spirit. There’s no comparison. Of course, to have that kind of loving, you have to really value your mate. I like to tell young men, if you want your wife to respond, you have to treat her like the queen she is. You make her feel really special…and I guarantee she’ll respond.” He sat his brush down and again looked up at the sky. “But I still miss the hugs the most.”