Lurlene McDaniel Read online

  Understanding her anguish at the time, Mark had taken her out to a deserted airstrip and told her to drive his car as fast and as hard as she wanted. And she had forced his fine old car to its optimum speed and experienced the dangerous but exhilarating balance between control and oblivion. It had been a gift that only Mark could have given her, because he was the only one who understood what it was like to live one’s life with the ever-present specter of death on high.

  Mark would have loved St. Croix. He would have sped along the back roads and climbed trails where only four-wheel-drive vehicles ventured. They would have had such a good time together. A mist of tears clouded her eyes, and she slowed down the Jeep.

  She glanced to one side and saw a large sign: THE BUCCANEER. On impulse, she spun the wheel of the car and drove through the gateway and down a sloping road through acres of rolling green land. The edges of a golf course lay on her right, and far back, on a bluff overlooking the sea, stood a sprawling clubhouse and hotel. She parked in the lot and walked out on a terrace set with tables and chairs. A hostess asked, “Do you have a lunch reservation?”

  April cleared her throat and smiled nervously. She had no business being there. “Actually, I was looking for your pro shop.”

  The hostess directed her there and April hurried out onto the splendid grounds of the luxury resort, down a tiled path to the shop. Once inside, she asked for Brandon, then busied herself among the clutter of golf paraphernalia. She chided herself, saying that what she was doing was stupid. She had no real reason to see Brandon. She hoped that he wasn’t there, that this was a Saturday he didn’t work. The door opened and she turned to face him across a rack of golf shirts. His face, damp with sweat, broke into a large grin. “I don’t believe it! You came to see me!”

  She had to laugh at his genuine astonishment. “I was just driving by and saw the sign. I didn’t even know if you’d be here.”

  “I’ve been here since six A.M. We start early because golfers like to start before it gets hot. I’m about to take a lunch break. Want to eat with me?”

  She wasn’t hungry, but since she’d come this far and knew she couldn’t leave easily she answered, “Maybe a salad.”

  He took her back to the terrace restaurant, ordered, and had the food packed in Styro-foam containers, then led her down a winding walkway to a sandy beach area. Hotel guests were sunning themselves and playing in the calm waters. He pulled a small table and two chairs around to an alcove of rocks enclosing an isolated strip of sand no larger than a good-sized back porch. “Since the tide’s out, we can sit here,” he said, planting the chairs firmly in the wet sand. “It’s private.”

  She removed her sandals, allowing the warm water to lap over her feet. He sat across from her so that he was framed by blue sky and bright turquoise ocean. His tanned face glowed and his hair looked golden, streaked by the sun. “I’m starving,” he said, flipping open his container and lifting out a mammoth hamburger.

  Watching Brandon wolf down his meal reminded her of all the times she’d eaten with Mark. But, of course, before Mark could eat he’d had to take pills because of his CF. She thought of their special restaurant and of their table tucked in the corner.

  “What’s funny?” Brandon asked. “You were smiling just then. Have I got mustard smeared on my face?”

  She gazed self-consciously at her salad, “I was just remembering something, that’s all. Nothing important.”

  “I’ll be honest,” he said between bites. “I never thought I’d see you again.”

  “Me neither.”

  “I’m glad you changed your mind. Why did you change your mind?”

  “I didn’t know I needed a reason.”

  “My charming personality?” he offered with an infectious grin.

  “Certainly that was part of it.” She returned his smile. A gull swooped low over the water behind him. “I was knocking around the island.”

  “And you thought, Wonder what old Brandon’s up to? Maybe I should go see the geek.” His tone reminded her of Mark’s.

  “Actually, I was … lonely.” She kept her gaze on the gull, unable to meet Brandon’s. She hadn’t meant to tell him that.

  He leaned back in his chair and searched her face thoughtfully. “I figured something was up with you. I’ve seen you twice and you looked sad both times.” She didn’t respond, so he continued. “I’ve been lonely myself, so I know how it feels.”

  “Everybody’s been lonely.”

  “But you don’t have to be,” he said. “April, St. Croix is a small place. Everybody knows everybody else, especially those of us who grew up here. Tourists come through all the time, and sometimes the locals hit it off with some of them. We know that the person is going to leave. That’s a given. But we still have a good time together while we can, as long as the person is on the island …”

  She understood what he was trying to tell her—that he would take her under his wing with no strings attached. “Like a baby-sitter?”

  “You’re no baby,” he declared, appraising her in a way that made her pulse flutter. “No. As a friend. This wouldn’t be only for you. You see, I could use a friend myself.”

  “There are plenty of tourists who would jump at the chance to be your friend, Brandon.”

  “But I don’t want just anybody. I’d like it to be you.”

  The way he kept looking at her made her feel self-conscious. An inner voice asked, “What are you doing? Suddenly she saw that she was acting flirty and was instantly ashamed. She struggled to stand, but the wet sand had sucked around the legs of the chair so that it couldn’t move. “It’s really getting late. I’ve got to go, and you’ve got to work.”

  “Don’t go yet.” Instantly Brandon was beside her, taking her arm so that she wouldn’t trip backward. His touch felt warm, and she pulled away as if it had burned her.

  “I have to,” she insisted.

  “I’d like to see you again. Can I call you? Make a date? I have classes until two, but I’m free evenings. I could show you around St. Croix. Maybe take you over to St. Thomas or St. John.”

  “I—I don’t think so.” Despite being in a wide-open space, April suddenly felt hemmed in and claustrophobic. “I really have to go now.” She grabbed her sandals and backed away. “Thanks.”

  “Call me here if you change your mind,” he said to her as she ducked around the edge of the rocks and fled up the beach toward the parking lot where her Jeep was parked. With her heart hammering, April turned on the engine and shot up the road to the highway, where she forgot the rule about staying in the left-hand lane and almost had a head-on collision.

  Jerking the car back into its proper lane, she sped toward the hills and the safety of the villa. She never should have stopped to see Brandon. Not because she wasn’t attracted to him, but because she was. And because she kept thinking about another guy who’d wanted to date her but whom she’d rejected at first—Mark. Until he’d won her over with his winsome smiles and caring love and had swept her heart away. But now Mark was gone, and she couldn’t bring him back and she couldn’t start with someone else.

  She floored the accelerator and raced toward home, memories chasing her like the wind.

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  eISBN: 978-0-307-54809-2

  RL: 5.6, ages 12 and up

  A Bantam Book/July 1997

  v3.0

  Table of Contents

  An excerpt from For Better, for Worse, Forever by Lurlene McDaniel: