Kellie's Diary (Book 5) Read online

  We went inside the main room, and there was an older man sitting in a fancy chair. That was... Peter. Yeah, that was his name. I have no idea what was in the rest of the building, because we didn't go anywhere else. I don't know how, but all the stuff in that room made me think Peter had a lot of money. He had a few more guards around him, and there was another girl in the room. She looked about my age, but she was really skinny and just sitting in the corner by herself at a table.

  So Peter started touching my hair and telling me how pretty I was. Victor told him to cool it so they could get on with business. Peter kept looking at me, and I actually tried getting closer to Victor. Weird, I know.

  Victor said that I needed to calm down and smile more, and that we weren't going to be there too long. Peter offered us drinks, and we took some. I was just hoping it would end soon. At the time I didn't see any point in me being there, Victor could have done his business alone. I don't remember exactly what they talked about, some program having to do with recruiting people for something. They were using a lot of complicated words that I didn't understand. I was trying to pay attention, but I think the drink was stronger than what I was used to. It tasted worse than what Victor had. I just kept looking at Victor and trying to ignore everybody else in the room.

  Peter kept staring at me. Then Victor stood up and pulled me with him. We all walked into this side room, and it looked like a fancy bedroom with wood furniture and a huge bed, and Victor said something to him about "keeping his word." He told Peter that I was his "best girl," so he needed to treat me nice and "not keep me for too long." I didn't know what he meant, and when I asked, he just said to "show Peter a good time," have some drinks and make friends with him. He said he'd be back in a while, and then he walked out and closed the door behind him!!

  I must have been going crazy, because I actually didn't want him to leave! I was starting to feel safe around him! Except whenever I started drinking a lot... well, things got worse.

  I freaked out, and Peter kept smiling at me...

  Oh god, Barbie, I don't know if I can do this much longer... because everything else that happened after was such a fucking nightmare.

  Chapter 7

  Sarah had me walking around again, but I don't think it helped much. I was crying a little while ago. She's trying to get me to stay calm, but the more I think about what happened, the worse I feel. Jonathan walked with us too. They tried to get me to actually say something out loud, but I couldn't get myself to. Neither of them have talked to you yet, so they still don't know everything that happened, except for the very end. I haven't actually told them much, just that I'm going to kill Victor if I ever see him again.

  Jonathan hasn't said a whole lot to me, but I don't mind that, he just walks with me or sits next to me when I'm taking breaks at the river. It's nice having a good man around for once. He said he turned 18 about 2 months ago. I've got less than a month until I'm 16. It's weird to think about. I grew up thinking 16 would be this big deal, like I'd finally be an adult. I think I grew up a long time ago.

  I really don't want to say what happened next, but I think you need to understand what led up to... the big thing.

  So yeah. Victor left me alone with that creep Peter. He grabbed my arm and pulled me away from his room door and toward the bed. I yelled at him to let me go, but he didn't listen, and he got my other arm. I panicked and started kicking at him, but then punched me in the face and told me to do what he said. I knee'd him in the crotch and he fell over. When I tried to get out the door, it was locked. He got up and came for me again, and when I ran I lost balance because of those damned boots, and I knocked over a table that had a bunch of food on it. He grabbed my legs and pulled me toward him. I saw a knife on the ground, I think it came from the table, and I grabbed it and stabbed him in the arm. He screamed and let go of my legs, but he stood up and tried to kick me in the chest. I still had the knife, so I got him in the leg. When he fell down, I got up and figured out how to unlock the door.

  The guards saw me but I ran outside before they could get me. I had a seriously hard time running in those shoes, but I was able to stay ahead of them. Got lucky I guess. Maybe not.

  I saw Victor out by the jeep and I ran over to him and told him that Peter hurt me. I didn't feel it until that minute, but he had hit me pretty hard in the mouth. Victor just screamed at me to shut up and Richard grabbed me and pulled me away. Peter came out with the guards, and one of them was helping him walk. He yelled at Victor, called me a crazy bitch, said something about him "keeping the girls in line," and he pointed his gun at him. Victor got his rifle from the jeep, and all his other guys got their guns. They kept yelling at each other, and Richard pushed me into the jeep and closed the door. I looked out the window, and they kept screaming about their deal going bad, that Victor needed to show respect, and some other stuff I couldn't understand.

  Then Victor shot Peter. Then Peter's guys started shooting, and... there was so much gunfire. I kept my head down and waited until I didn't hear anything anymore, which was... a couple minutes probably, but it felt longer. When it stopped, I looked out the window again and Peter and his guards were all dead. Victor and the rest of them got into the cars and we started driving again, and Victor told the driver to take us back.

  Victor didn't say anything to me the whole time, but I could feel him staring at me. I was shaking. He had never been that mad at me before. I was fucking terrified. If I pissed him off that bad, I knew he would do something to Lydia.

  I apologized to Victor god knows how many times for messing things up for him, and that I'd do anything to make it better again, that I just got scared and I wouldn't do it again. All he said was "I know."

  We got back to town, Victor pulled me out of the car and he brought me to the middle of the main street. He threw me on the ground, and I thought he was going to hurt me. He said something to Richard and pointed out to the crowd. Richard walked across the street and grabbed this girl's arm... and I think it was that same girl I saw getting dragged around before...

  Oh god... I can't do this, Barbie! I don't want to think about it! She... fuck... Fuck Victor! Fuck all of them! They... killed her! They just... kept on hitting her! They didn't stop! She was screaming, but then she couldn't anymore... And Victor was forcing me to watch! I tried to close my eyes, but he kept saying that if I didn't listen to him, Lydia would be next! I can't get it out of my head! I swear she didn't even have a face when they were done with her! He kept telling me that she's dying because I didn't do what he said!

  ***

  I freaked out earlier. I ran outside and started crying, and Sarah came to get me. She brought me back in and tried to get me to stay quiet to not freak out the others, but I couldn't stop. I don't even remember going to sleep last night.

  I don't know if I can keep doing this. This is making me insane. The more I think about it, the worse I feel. How many other girls died like that? How many of them did Victor kill? But the most fucked up part of it is that I still felt safer around him than those other assholes! He kept saying that as long as I did what he said, everything would be fine... if I had just listened to him and let Peter do whatever he wanted, if I just went with it, that girl might still be alive. I'm the one that killed her.

  I have to be honest Barbie, the parts I remember after that day aren't that clear. I do know that Victor hurt me pretty badly that night.

  Chapter 8

  Things changed after that day. Victor still stayed with me at night, but after a while he started having his friends come over, and he told me I had to... be friendly with them too. I was glad I was allowed to have all the booze and weed I wanted – made it easier to tune out whatever was going on.

  The thing that always confused me about it was that Victor acted like he was mad at me after I'd... have to deal with his friends. He was acting like... jealous or something. He kept telling them I was the best girl in town, and he'd tell them that he was okay with "sharing" me. At first I told him that I w
as scared of the other guys, but then... he'd start looking at Lydia funny. And I had to listen.

  Then later on, he'd start accusing me of liking his friends better than him. I didn't know what the hell he was talking about. I was only doing what he told me to! I kept telling him that I was doing what he wanted, but he was still being kind of an asshole about it, and sometimes he'd insult me and call me some really bad names. No Barbie, trust me, you don't want to know. Then later he'd want to be with me again. It was like that almost every day for... who knows how long. One time he had 5 friends come over... let's just say I drank a lot that day.

  A couple of them sometimes asked if they could hang out with Lydia, but Victor always got pissed and kicked them out of his house. At least he was leaving her alone. I didn't care what I was going through, as long as she was safe.

  I still got to hang out with Lydia sometimes, but it was getting less and less all the time. The doctor would still come by sometimes, but nothing ever changed on that.

  Sometimes I'd hear Victor talk to his friends about how he thinks he found something "special," but he wasn't telling until he knew for sure. I didn't know what he was talking about, but by then I'd learned to stay out of his conversations.

  I remember there was one day that some of his guys actually brought a zombie into the town! I thought he'd officially lost it then, but when I asked him, he just said that it was "under control" and not to worry about it. I wanted to go out and find the zombie and kill it, but by then Victor was usually... keeping me busy. I didn't have much of a chance to figure out what was going on. Days had gone by, but there wasn't a breakout or anything, so I had to believe everything was okay. Usually by the time a zombie shows up everyone's screwed, but nothing ever happened.

  It just got weirder after that. A couple more zombies were brought into town, and still nothing happened. I tried asking him again about it, but he kept telling me to shut up. He was treating me worse and worse, and so were his buddies. But then I saw him being super-sweet to Lydia. The more shit I got, the better it was for her.

  Eventually Victor stopped coming home for the night as often. He was once gone for 3 days straight, and none of his buddies showed up, which gave me a chance to calm down for a while. I still couldn't find you or my other things in the house, so I thought maybe he'd thrown you in the trash or something. I had no one to talk to. I was losing my damn mind. I actually felt like I was missing him when he was gone, but I hated when I saw him walk in the door.

  Then on the days he was home, I'd hear him talking to himself. I never understood it, since he kind of mumbled, though sometimes it sounded like he was saying how much of a genius he was. He'd take the books from his shelves and start reading them, and start writing stuff down in them. One day while he was gone, he left one of the books in the bedroom. I looked through it, but none of it made any sense. Some stuff about finding a "holy grail" and "treasure." The only holy grail I knew of had to do with Jesus, and I doubt what Victor was talking about had anything to do with God.

  That doctor started coming over more often, but I didn't get to hear their talks. Victor started putting me in his room whenever he showed up.

  The few times I got to see Lydia alone I asked her if she knew what they were talking about, but she said she never listened to them. I told her to try and remember, and to tell me if they said anything strange. She never told me anything.

  Chapter 9

  The last day in Victor's house... I'll never forget it. I got up late that morning, and I went to go check on Lydia like I usually did. She wasn't in the living room, but Bagman was. He was standing there staring at me. I know, that doesn't make any sense. I can't ever see his face, just his eyes, but when I looked back at him, there was this feeling that he felt sorry for me. Yeah, figure that one out.

  But then Bagman walked into Lydia's room, and that's when he freaked me out. I ran in there after him, but he wasn't there. But Lydia was. And so was Victor, Greg and the doctor. She was all dressed, and there were bags packed on her bed. I asked Victor what he was doing, and all he said was that he was taking Lydia on a trip. Victor had taken so much from me, and now he was taking the only thing I had left. I kept telling him he couldn't take her and that she needed me here. Then he came over and hit me again. I think it was the first time Lydia ever saw it, because she screamed. He said that maybe I should have been hanging out with her instead of with him and his friends, that I didn't really care about her. I started crying. I couldn't help it. I begged him to leave her alone like he promised. Then he grabbed my hair and started pulling me out of her room. The doctor walked out too, and I saw Greg holding Lydia back while he closed the door, and I heard her crying for me.

  Victor kept yelling at me and pulling me around, and knocked me into all kinds of shit through the house. He said that he wasn't asking me for permission to take Lydia, but that he was telling me. He threw me on the couch and the doctor started going through this box of stuff. Victor went into this whole speech about how Lydia was the answer to all his problems. He said that she was the "holy grail," but I had no idea what he meant. Victor said that the doctor thinks Lydia can't be affected by the zombies, and it's why she hasn't turned into one.

  I didn't believe him. EVERY SINGLE PERSON that has ever been bitten has either died or turned. I told him again that Lydia's bite wasn't touched by the zombie's teeth, it was through her clothes and that she was just really lucky. He never did believe me, no matter how much I told him. We argued about it some more, but there was no telling Victor anything. He was convinced Lydia was immune, and I had no way to change his mind or get him to see how crazy he sounded.

  I looked back at the doctor, and he was saying something to Richard and messing with a shot needle... god, I really don't want to talk about this...

  No, Barbie... you haven't heard the worst of it yet. No! Go to hell! You weren't there! You were taken from me! Maybe if you were there for me to talk to I wouldn't be so fucked up right now!

  Damn it. I'm sorry Barbie. You have no idea how sick I'm feeling right now. I'm still craving like crazy, and it's not getting easier. It's driving me insane. I try to put things together in my head, and everything's a mess. I can't remember things right, and the memories I have are all blurry and mixed together. I don't even know if half of what I've told you is how it really happened.

  Okay... okay. Then Victor said that... he didn't have a use for me anymore. He said something like, "it was fun while it lasted." I tried to get him to tell me what he meant, but he kept saying he didn't "need me" anymore, now that he has what he wants.

  That damn doctor. He had the needle in his hand and was still talking to Richard. Then Richard went to Victor and whispered to him. Richard grabbed my arm and held me down where I was sitting, then Victor helped him. The doctor came up to us, and did something to the needle, where some of the juice came out.

  Victor said... he said he knew how much I liked to get high, so... he wanted me to "meet my new best friend."

  I tried to get away Barbie. I tried so hard, but I wasn't as strong as I used to be. It's like all that time spent in his house made me weak. I couldn't fight them off, no matter how much I pulled away from them. I screamed at Victor to let me go. I promised I'd do even better than I had been, I'd do whatever he said. He said I did good, but he was done with me, that I'd get to make new friends with some other lucky guys. He wasn't going to let me go.

  I screamed and cussed at him worse than I ever have, but they just held me tighter. Victor kept yanking my hair and telling me it would feel incredible.

  That fucking needle hurt worse than anything else in my life. It was killing me. I swear the inside of my arm was catching on fire, and I felt like I was bleeding where he stabbed me. I kept fighting, but after a while, I felt like I was going to faint. My arm went numb, then my head did too, and then the rest of me.

  It's hazy after that. I know they let me go and I was just lying on the couch. Inside my head I was still screaming at Victor, and
begging him to leave Lydia alone. He went into her room, and they all walked out. Some other people came in and Victor talked to them. All their voices started sounding different. I saw Lydia, and she was still crying and telling them she didn't want to leave me behind. She walked up to me and gave me a hug. She said "I love you."

  That was the last thing I heard her say. I felt like I was trying to cry, but I couldn't move. Whatever he gave me broke me. My body just... stopped. I had a few tears, but it felt like they were burning my face.

  I hate them. I hate them all, every last one of them.

  But I kind of faded after that. At least for a while. The last thing I saw was Bagman right outside the front door as Victor took my sister away from me.

  Chapter 10

  It's hard to find the right words for what happened after. They called it "The Pit." I think it fits, it's like a bottomless hole I was thrown into.

  I came back from... whatever that shot did to me, a pass-out, whatever, and I was on this nasty, tiny mattress on the floor. There was hardly any light, and I think I saw a rat running around. Or maybe it was a roach, who knows. I didn't have any balance and I kind of fell off the edge. There was one heavy door in the entire place. It felt like a dungeon.

  I saw a bunch of other girls in the room with me. Some of them looked like they were my age, others were younger, and a few were older, maybe in their 20s. All of them were dirty, skinny, and either terrified or passed out. Some of them were smoking weed, and some were using needles.

  One girl next to me kept staring at me. I had a hard time talking, because I was still fucked up from that shot. I was dizzy as hell and everything around me was this weird blur. That's all I remember for that little bit.