Kale (The Fire Inside #1) Read online

  Piper is the beautiful, outgoing one. She has flowing blonde locks compared to my wavy brown mess. She carries herself with confidence and carefree abandon. I am the bookworm, the wallflower, and the worrywart. She always says I am her conscience, ever present to remind her not to get to wild. She is more likely to wear form fitting clothing and enjoys showing off her curves. My usual attire is a hoody and jeans. I envy her self-assurance. She tells me all the time that I need the right man to come along and bring out my inner vixen. The only man I want doesn’t know I exist.

  CHAPTER TWO

  After the fire is contained we pull out, leaving the final clean-up to the local fire department crews. Once back at base we sort and store our gear. Since fire season is unpredictable, my team will take the next day off to allow our bodies to recoup from the exertion of the recent job, then we will fall back into our normal routines until the next jump.

  Washing the soot, grime, and sweat off my body is relaxing. The adrenaline now gone, my muscles loosen up as the tension eases its way out. The suit we wear is not light and can feel suffocating on its own before you begin to add the heat of the blaze. As I step out of the shower, I can’t bring myself to put on clothing. Exhaustion takes over as I lay down in my large empty bed. My head hits the pillow, the fresh scent of my fabric softener reminding me once again that I am out of the smoke. Breathing clean, fresh air, a clear reminder of making it out, of surviving. I think how nice it would be to come home to the soft curves of a woman and the scent of her on my sheets after battling my way through the heat. Before I think any further, sleep takes over.

  Waking up, I feel refreshed and ready to tackle the next jump. After tidying up my tiny, typical bachelor apartment, I head to the gym for my daily work out with Mason. Today is CrossFit games. As smoke jumpers, we are constantly working out in different routines to stay in our best shape possible. When you have a job where you will push your body to the very edge of its limits and beyond, you must take care of yourself. Plus, I’m not going to lie, there is some mighty nice eye candy at the gym every once in a while.

  Chicks always giggle to each other when my bros and I are around. Not to mention when they put in the extra effort to wiggle when they walk by. I am certainly not complaining. I have had my fair share of this towns single women, and a few of the non-single ones, but nothing has stuck. They all think they want the danger and excitement of dating a smokejumper, but when it all comes down to it, they don’t like being left home alone not knowing if or when I am coming out of the flames.

  A few of the girls walking from the gym to the coffee shop eye me and my loud as hell Jeep when I pull in the parking lot. I don’t miss the opportunity to flash them a grin as I hop out and throw my bag over my shoulder. They lean into one another and laugh, whispering as they enter the small storefront to probably grab one of their awesome smoothies. I turn on the jock mode; sauntering into one of my favorite past time places as if I own the place and waving to my bro.

  Mason is already showing off, talking some girls up as they jog on the treadmill, and I just shake my head as I walk past. I don’t bother flirting right now, I am not really in the mood, anyway. I toss my things in a locker and head out for my workout. Stretching is important, I have learned that more and more with these CrossFit routines we have gotten into; I watch Mason flirt as I stretch my arms and legs then grab a jump rope to do some Double Unders.

  “You gonna stand there all day, or are we gonna do work, bro?” I yell louder than need be down his way. He flips me off over his shoulder as one of the girls looks my way. She is okay, but I have seen far better looking. She waves, I give her a wink for shits and she giggles. I start to go slow, the jump rope slapping an even beat against the matted floor as Mason finally makes his way towards me, tucking a little piece of paper in the front pocket of his basketball shorts.

  “Almost cramped my style, bro,” he smiles, grabbing his own rope and joining in.

  Yeah, right, like I would ever cramp his style. I just shake my head at him as he laughs and we both zone out, speeding the rotation of the rope so that is passes under our feet twice for every jump and listening to the local news on the huge televisions in front of us.

  Two minutes later we are switching to burpees, tossing the ropes back into their bins. Squat. Plank. Down. Plank. Up to squat and jump up with our hands up. Repeat. I am listening to the local weather man forecast for some rain tonight and I am wishing it for it to come. Our forests could use it.

  “So, whatcha got planned for tonight, K?” Mason breaks my concentration and as I jump up, I look over to see him breaking a sweat right along with me. I shrug my shoulders and he continues, “You wanna come with me and the other boys to Castle’s and have some beers? Talk to some girls?” He nods over to the girls he was talking to when I got here, now getting off the treadmills, and when I look back to him he has the biggest shit eating grin on his face. “Maybe my little friend over there will bring her friend and you can get some?”

  I laugh out loud this time at him and roll to my back after doing rep number seventy. “Dude, that number she gave you…I’ll bet you a hundred bucks it’s fake.”

  “No it’s not,” he gets all serious, digging in his pocket and fishing out the little piece of lined paper. Unfolding it and staring at it for a second, I know I have won when he whispers, “Fuuccckkk.”

  “But yeah. Bro, I’ll meet you there. I could use a few cold ones,” I slap him on the shoulder and help him up, heading over to the weight rack to pick up the dumbbells and do our split lifts. It will be nice to get out with the guys; lately, I haven’t been feeling like it and I just don’t know why.

  Two hours later, as I am buttoning up the only non-wrinkled pearl snap shirt I own, I confess to myself that I do know why I haven’t gone with the guys. It’s because I am kind of sick of the same old, same old. Go to the bars, pick up the local girl, take her home for one night or two, and then never answer when she calls the next weekend. I’m getting tired of that.

  Now, I’m not saying I want to jump off a cliff and get married tomorrow, either, but having something would be nice. Something more than just a hook up, you know? I am thirty three fucking years old, this partying, playing, and laying is getting kind of boring.

  “Ehhh,” I tell myself, rubbing my hand through my five o’clock shadow and up through my lazily spiked dark blonde hair. Hell, even my hazel eyes look tired. I pound down an energy drink before heading out the door.

  Castle’s is bustling as usual on a Friday. As I pull in, I see my little sister’s obnoxiously yellow Mustang sitting in the far corner. At least I know she won’t act like a total fool if I am here. I say hello and shake hands with a few of the local logger guys, answering their queries about the fire and then head on in; being bombarded by blaring country music and the rowdiness that comes along with it.

  “Kale!” I hear over Toby Keith and I scan the crowded room, my six foot five stature making it easy to spot Mason, Ryan and the others waving to me from the far corner near the jukebox. I see my sister, all dolled up sitting right next to Mason and her best friend, Paige, sitting quietly beside her.

  “Well isn’t it the two ‘P’s’ in a pod,” I joke as usual and Piper gives me a nasty smile while Paige just sits there, barely looking at me and sipping her beer. “Hi, Paige. How ya doin’?”

  “I’m good, Kale,” she says in a barely audible whisper and I nod, being pulled away by Mason’s hand on my shoulder before I get to ask her anything else.

  “Hey dude, there’s some girl that asked about you as soon as we walked in,” he nods to the bar, pointing out a petite little blonde with a very short skirt, waving her over to our table. I don’t recognize her, but oh well. She has bar slut written all over, and like I said before, I’m not feeling that tonight but there is nothing wrong with a little flirting.

  The blonde sidles up to the table, placing her murderous red nails on my bare forearm, smiling and telling me her name but all I notice is Paige slippin
g further away from my side of the table. Hmmm…what is that all about?

  I don’t know why I torture myself by coming out. This isn’t my scene. Watching the blonde that has been waiting half an hour for Kale approach turns my stomach is in knots. How many more weekends will I be subjected to watching them paw all over him? How many more girls will I see him smile that crooked, irresistible smile at that aren’t me? All the while I am just the girl next door, the unnoticeable chick that is just here.

  Deciding I can’t stay in the close proximity of the slut as she pushes herself, and her push up bra all over Kale, I slip away quietly. Making my way over to the bar, I order a shot. The more I have to watch Kale with all his random hose chasers, the more I die a little inside.

  I get it. I am not in the same league with those women. I have never been a prize or trophy to anyone. Even my mom, while I was growing up, would tell me I wasn’t anything to write home about. I was never the frilly girly girl she hoped me to be. Nope, I was the girl you could find hiking the forest to feed the deer, or home with my nose in a book. Momma always told me those critters wouldn’t keep me warm at night. If I wanted to get a good man to take care of me, I wasn’t gonna find him with the way I carry myself.

  Tipping back the glass, the liquid burns all the way down my throat as it settles into my belly. Yup, twenty seven years old and there’s no man to take care of me. Hell, there isn’t even one that looks at me twice. I laugh out loud at the thought, because momma was right. The guy beside me at the bar gives me a strange glare. Here I am being awkward once again, laughing to myself to where the patrons think I’m a freak. I don’t know if it’s the alcohol or me, but his expression causes more laughter to bubble out of me.

  What the hell am I doing? Tapping the bar for another shot, I wait impatiently. Time to drown my sorrows. Never have I been one to mope around. Well, to be honest, I have never let loose either. Maybe tonight I should do both.

  In college, Piper constantly was on my ass trying to get me to go to frat parties with her. Doing a keg stand just doesn’t appeal to me. Really? You’re upside down, whereas the beer is supposed slide down in your belly like any other drink not be forced down as you attempt not to choke and keep it out of your nose. Beer pong…hell, I don’t want to play regular ping pong much less try to bounce a ball in a red solo cup. Somehow, the things my peers enjoyed doing never sparked my interest.

  Hearing one of those valley girl, obnoxious, grate on my very last nerve, giggles, I turn to see the blonde hanging on Kale. She’s laughing as she runs her hands up and down his chest. He has one hand around her waist rubbing circles on the small of her back as his other hand holds his beer. Watching as he brings the long neck bottle to his mouth, I am mesmerized. His tongue darts out to lick his lips quickly as the glass edge makes its way forward. He takes a pull. My mind wonders what it would be like to kiss him, to taste the sultry mix of beer and Kale. Unable to pull my gaze away, I watch as he sets the bottle down on the table, his hand now coming around to cup the ass of the blonde.

  Oblivious. Kale Benson is completely and utterly oblivious to my existence. The blonde in his arms washes away all the lustful thoughts I had just begun to imagine. The shot now in front of me, I down the liquid. The burn in my heart and in my throat is almost overwhelming enough to spit the alcohol out. Instead, I push it down and hang my head in defeat. God, maybe I should just go up to the next guy I see and hang all over him. At least it will give me a drunken night of not having to think about Kale as I lay alone in my bed. At least I will have a warm body next to me.

  Ordering a beer, I make my way over to a small table in the corner of the room. Hopefully Piper will be ready to go soon, but I doubt it. Until she’s ready to go, I’ll tuck myself and my feelings away. As much as the bar is calling my name to drink away all my insecurities, I can’t do it. For now, I will nurse my beer and wait for the buzz I’ve got going on to diminish.

  Looking out to the dance floor for my best friend, I spot Kale first. He is tall so he is never hard to miss. At least that is what I tell myself rather than admit he has a magnetic pull on me that I can’t resist. The blonde has her arms draped around his neck toying with the collar of his shirt. She’s looking up at him batting her eyes as they dance to some popular country song that will now be stuck in my head the rest of the night as the singer goes on about a tipping point.

  My attention is diverted before I can watch them flirt more by Piper invading my line of sight. Ever the outgoing one she is dragging Mason behind her. I groan inwardly. Mason is one of Kale’s closest friends and, more importantly, his teammate. The bonds they share jumping together is one of brothers. Zeke and Finn aren’t far behind Mason.

  “Hey girlie, come dance.” Piper says, tugging on my hand as she smiles at me. I think about it, looking to the guys trailing behind her swaying to the music but when I go to stand, everything gets a little fuzzy.

  “When the room stops spinning maybe.” I say, realizing my buzz is not going away. Whether it be from my tiny size and lack of alcohol tolerance or the proximity and my focus on Kale, I’m not sure.

  Zeke drunkenly laughs. “It’s okay, Paige, I’ll catch you if you fall.”

  He is gripping the chair on the other side of my table as if it is the only thing holding him up. My faith in him being able to keep himself upright is non-existent much less his ability to keep me up. Plus, if I were to get up and dance with him right now, with all of this pent up desire floating around with the alcohol, I’d probably end up going home with him. That would definitely put me in the ‘no-go’ zone with Kale.

  The pull to look is calling to me. I wish I was strong enough to resist. I glance between the bodies of people around my table just as Kale leans down and brushes his lips to the blonde bimbo’s. Yup, time to make my escape. The sounds of a sad country song about facing things and letting it hurt comes on the jukebox and I know the emotions are building inside me to a point where if I don’t leave right now, I am going to end up balling my eyes out in front of everyone.

  “I’m gonna call it a night, Piper. Catch up tomorrow, okay? I’ll call a cab so you stay.”

  She follows my line of sight and nods her silent agreement, but not without a raised eyebrow. I know she will drill me about this later. Right now, I need to leave before the tears that are pooling behind my eyes escape. Piper knowing I need space, guides the boys back off towards the dance floor while I make my way outside. Fresh air hits my face and I clear my thoughts as I dial the cab company.

  Dodging more than one drunken pick up line from some of the logging guys that are hanging out by their trucks; I stumble to the curb to wait for the golden cab. They cat call and yell out pervish comments behind me, but I can’t turn around to issue a smart ass comment because the tears are silently slipping down my cheeks.

  Getting home, I once again follow my same simple routine. Kick my shoes off into the hall closet, throw my purse on the coffee table, and then jump into a very hot shower. My same simple girl pajamas of a cami and boy shorts comfort me as I slide into my very empty bed and let the alcohol put me to sleep. Another night in the world of Paige Lockley, same shit, just a different day. Not even the weekends change anything for me.

  Don’t dream of him, I tell myself, but I know it is an empty request. I always dream of him and yet, he still doesn’t know I exist. If only I could be something more than that Paige, his little sister’s best friend.

  CHAPTER THREE

  Pounding. My first thought as the light peeks through the curtains of my bedroom is what the hell is that pounding that’s all around me? Thump. Thump. Thump. My head is mildly throbbing; so no, this isn’t a full blown hangover.

  Quiet. What the hell? Then it starts up again. Thump. Thump. Thump. Dragging my ass out of bed, I put on my glasses as I shuffle over to my dresser and pull out some sweats when I hear her.

  “Paige Noreen Lockley, open the damn door! I know you’re in there!”

  I laugh at my best friend’s use o
f my full name. She knows I hate my middle name. I am stepping into my University of Idaho Vandals sweatpants as I make my way to the front door.

  “I’m coming, sheesh. You better have coffee.” I yell back, hoping she can hear me so she doesn’t wake my neighbors. Piper isn’t one to back down until she gets what she wants.

  Opening my front door, I can’t hold back my laughter. Piper stands before me, two full grocery bags hanging off her arms and a drink carrier with four cups of coffee filling her hands. She has her oversized purse falling off her shoulder. Her hair is now a rough version of the full curls she dolled herself up with last night. With her makeup free face, yoga pants, and worn out ‘Fire Fighters Can Handle the Heat’ t-shirt on, a shirt Kale hates, lets me know she intends to hang out a while this morning.

  Piper is the girly one. The only time she’s out like this is when one of us is nursing a broken heart or we are having girl talk. Given that neither of us are in a relationship, I guess we are having a morning chat. Usually never good news for me.

  “Forget your key?” I ask, as I open the door wide and step out of her way.

  “No, more like I forgot to keep it in my hand. I put my keys in my purse to get the bags out. Waking you up to answer the door would be faster than digging for them.” She answers smiling sweetly.

  Her purse is deeper than the Grand Canyon so she’s right; it is faster to wake me. I can’t help but laugh as I take the cup carrier from her. She has a key to my place as I do hers. We used to live together, but Piper is a wild one in both personality and décor. She is also a slob. We are better as besties, not roomies.