The Worst Witch Saves the Day Read online

  By twelve thirty everything was ready and Agatha settled down with a large mug of tea and a packet of biscuits before the expected invasion at two o’clock sharp.

  Down in Maud’s room, Mildred had devised a plan of action which could only have been dreamed up by an ant. She had discovered that her antennae were neatly hinged so that they could be raised up and down and rotated. If she zipped up the side of the ink bottle

  and dipped both antennae into the ink, then zoomed down on to the large piece of paper, she could drop dots of ink to form letters, thereby writing a message for Maud. This involved countless trips up and down the ink bottle in order to write anything that was big enough to read. In human form this would have been impossible, but an ant has limitless focused energy and will carry on with any task until it drops. Mildred wished that she could somehow retain this extraordinary sense of purpose to use during lessons and exams once she was changed back into herself! After twenty manic minutes she had written

  and decided that this was enough to make Maud notice something odd.

  She set about cutting the paper with her sharp ant jaws into a size that she could drag up on to Maud’s bed. After several minutes of feeling her way up the bedclothes, she reached the lower slopes of Maud’s face and began swatting her with the piece of paper. Maud didn’t wake up, but every now and then scrabbled at her face and shouted in her sleep. Mildred valiantly continued scuttling out of the way, then flapping the paper against Maud’s face but apart from the occasional shout Maud remained fast asleep.

  Next door, Enid heard Maud’s voice and wondered if she was all right. Another shout echoed down the corridor and Enid could tell that it was her friend, half asleep and rambling, so she decided to go next door and wake her from whatever dream was upsetting her.

  ‘Maudy,’ whispered Enid, pushing open Maud’s door and holding her candle aloft so that she could see around the room. ‘Wake up, Maud, you’re having a bad –’ She stopped as she was confronted with the bizarre sight of a piece of paper flicking backwards and forwards against Maud’s face, apparently all by itself.

  ‘Maud! Wake up!’ called Enid. ‘There’s something really weird going on!’

  Maud woke up, rubbing her eyes, and Enid snatched the piece of paper and examined it in the candlelight.

  ‘What’s wrong, Enid?’ cried Maud in alarm, propping herself up on her elbows. ‘It’s the middle of the night!’

  ‘You were shouting in your sleep,’ said Enid. ‘I thought you were having a nightmare, but when I came in, this piece of paper was sort of flapping around your face like a moth or something; look, it’s got writing on it.’

  ‘What’s it say?’ asked Maud, screwing up her eyes against the candlelight.

  ‘It says, “HELP NOT ANT”. What on earth does that mean? What’s “NOT ANT”?’

  ‘Perhaps it means an ant,’ said Maud.

  ‘What ant, though?’ asked Enid. ‘Can you see an ant anywhere?’

  They held up the candle and immediately saw the ant-Mildred, who had laboriously climbed off the bed, back on to the table, and carefully positioned herself in the middle of one of the sheets of white notepaper, where she knew she would be noticed. Maud and Enid brought the candle closer to the table so that they could see the ant and also the ink-splatters where it had splashed some of the drops while writing the note. It was obvious that this was the ant in question.

  ‘If you’re “NOT ANT”,’ said Enid, ‘then what are you?’

  The ant jumped up and down and twirled its feelers.

  ‘Are you – a person?’ asked Maud.

  The ant jerked its antennae up and down like mini-cranes and turned round twice in a complete circle. Maud and Enid looked at each other with growing unease.

  ‘You’re not – Mildred?’ asked Enid. ‘You’re not our friend Mildred Hubble?’

  At this, the ant began capering about, nodding with its antennae, and zooming round and round in circles.

  Maud held out a finger solemnly and the ant bustled on to it. ‘Oh, Mildred,’ said Maud. ‘What on earth have you done now? Or did someone do this to you?’

  The ant moved its antennae from side to side like a metronome and shook its head.

  ‘Did you do it, then?’ asked Maud.

  Much nodding with the antennae.

  ‘Well, then,’ said Enid, ‘why can’t you change yourself back?’

  The ant ran to the end of Maud’s finger and obviously wanted to get down. Maud put her gently back on to the paper and watched as Mildred zipped up the side of the ink bottle and began running up and down with antennae drops of ink until she had written

  ‘There’s two l’s in “spell”,’ said Enid helpfully.

  ‘Don’t be petty, Enid!’ said Maud. ‘It takes forever to write anything in ink drops. We can see it’s “spell”, clever-clogs! Let’s find insect spells in Spell Sessions Two from last year. It’s on the shelf by my bed. That would be more helpful than giving the poor ant a spelling lesson! I know Mildred was going to do insect spells for her summer-holiday project.’

  They found the ant spell, complete with reversal.

  ‘I don’t know if this will work, Mil,’ said Maud. ‘But if I say the reversal spell out loud, perhaps you could try to concentrate on it and say it in “ant” in your head and it might just work. I’ll keep saying it over and over with little pauses in between and hope you can remember it long enough. OK? Right, here goes.’

  Maud intoned the reversal spell, then stopped while they both peered hopefully at the ant. Nothing happened. Enid read it out this time, then they stopped and waited again. The ant did not move and they were wondering what to do next when the air began to vibrate and judder – as if a huge, invisible lorry was passing through the room – and suddenly Mildred was standing on the table in front of them in a burst of swirling smoke and stars. She leapt from the table at once.

  ‘Come on, quickly, you two!’ she said. ‘We can’t delay. What time is it?’

  Enid consulted her watch. ‘It’s half past one,’ she said. ‘But why –’

  ‘Oh no!’ said Mildred. ‘We’ve only got half an hour! They’re all swarming in at two o’clock by the backyard gate. There’s not a moment to lose!’

  ‘Hang on, Mil!’ exclaimed Enid, grabbing her arm. ‘What on earth is this about? Who’s swarming in at two o’clock? You’d better explain before we all go charging off somewhere in our pyjamas!’

  Mildred managed a very fast, rather garbled explanation about Miss Granite really being Agatha and the plot to take over the school and how she had locked Mildred in the cupboard – which explained the ant transformation so she could sneak under the door and raise the alarm.

  ‘Crumbs, Mil!’ said Maud. ‘We’d better wake Miss Cackle at once.’

  ‘Blow out the candle, Enid,’ said Mildred. ‘We’ll have to be really quiet. Agatha is planning this like a battle campaign and she’s absolutely ruthless.’

  They snuffed out the candle, crept into the corridor and up to the teachers’ rooms as fast as possible, which was quite difficult when they had to pause at every turn in case they bumped into Agatha.

  As they approached the top corridor, where the headmistress had her bedroom, they saw Miss Cackle sneaking along towards her own door. Enid was just about to call out when Mildred grabbed her and clapped a hand over her mouth. She had seen, in the lantern light, that this person was holding a jam jar with leaves in it. Mildred caught Enid and Maud’s gaze and pressed a finger to her lips as the door opened and the shadowy figure slipped inside.

  ‘What’s up, Mil?’ whispered Maud, as soon as the door had closed. ‘We need Miss Cackle to help us!’

  ‘It isn’t Miss Cackle!’ said Mildred. ‘It’s Agatha. Don’t forget, she looks exactly like Miss Cackle. She’s got a jam jar, so I’ll bet she’s going to snail-ize her! But I can remember the snail transformation spell and if we’re fast and very brave, we can get there first and turn the tables. Come on, I’ll fling the door open, you
both jump on her and I’ll do the snail spell. Let’s go for it!’

  CHAPTER SEVENTEEN

  hey flung the door open and saw Agatha poised with arm outstretched towards the sleeping Miss Cackle. Enid and Maud sprang across the room and hurled themselves on to her. They all went down in a mass of arms and legs, like a rugby scrum, as Mildred tried to get a clear zap at Agatha while chanting the snail spell.

  Miss Cackle was now sitting up in bed, a look of complete astonishment on her face, as this amazing scene took place in front of her.

  ‘What on earth are you girls doing?’ she exclaimed, sounding furious.

  ‘Can’t explain yet, Miss Cackle!’ said Mildred, delighted to find that only Enid and Maud were now on the floor and that a rather large snail was making for the open door. Mildred picked up the snail-Agatha and dropped her on to the bed of leaves in the jam jar. She handed the jar to Miss

  Cackle. ‘Look, Miss Cackle,’ she explained. ‘It’s Agatha! She’s been here all the time, disguised as Miss Granite. She was just about to snail-ize you. See, your name is on the jar. Her coven of witches is arriving in –’ she glanced at Miss Cackle’s wall clock –‘exactly fifteen minutes at the backyard gate. We’ve got to head them off!’

  ‘Good gracious me!’ exclaimed Miss Cackle. ‘You mean my sister, Agatha, has been right here under my very nose all this time masquerading as Miss Granite? She must have been laughing up her sleeve at all of us; why I even hired her against Miss Hardbroom’s advice – I’ll never hear the last of that! Come along, girls, let’s go down to the back gate and work out a plan. We can leave my sister here safely in the jar intended for me!’

  ‘What are we going to do, Miss Cackle?’ asked Maud nervously, as they arrived at the back gate at one fifty, with ten minutes to spare. At that very moment, the handle began to turn and the gate creaked open.

  ‘Jump on them!’ yelled Mildred.

  The three friends hurled themselves at the person coming through the gate and flung her to the ground. A beautiful black cat leapt yowling out of the way and a broomstick, carried by the person, snapped in half as they all collapsed on to the floor.

  ‘What is the meaning of this?’ thundered a terrifying voice they knew so well. ‘Have you all lost your senses!’

  It was Miss Hardbroom, home late from an unexpectedly difficult game of chess with Miss Pentangle – and, to make matters worse, Miss Pentangle had won.

  Mildred and Enid sheepishly helped Miss Hardbroom to her feet, while Maud retrieved Miss Hardbroom’s hat, which was squashed almost completely flat where everyone had fallen on it. Miss Hardbroom was so angry that she was emitting tiny sparks and puffs of purple smoke from her ears. She looked as if she might actually explode. The girls gazed across imploringly at Miss Cackle, who came to their rescue.

  ‘Thank goodness it’s you, Miss Hardbroom,’ she said, dusting her down. ‘Let me quickly explain to you that, in five minutes’ time, we are yet again expecting an invasion of the school by a coven of evil witches, masterminded by my appalling sister, Agatha. You were quite right about Miss Granite’s teaching qualities, Miss Hardbroom. In fact she is not a teacher at all, she is my evil twin sister in disguise. Fortunately, Mildred here discovered the plot to turn us all into snails. Mildred has already caught and snail-ized Agatha, who is upstairs, imprisoned in one of her own glass jars. The rest are arriving in precisely –’ she looked at her watch – ‘three minutes from now, expecting to be met by Agatha. I really can’t quite think how to deal with this in such a short space of time.’

  Miss Hardbroom took all this in her stride immediately, as if it was quite normal to be greeted by such an astonishing story at two o’clock in the morning.

  ‘It’s obvious what to do, Miss Cackle,’ she said, taking the helm at once. ‘The rest of Agatha’s witches will be expecting Agatha to let them in. As you look exactly like your sister, just let them in – in a confident way. Tell them to wait outside and you will let them in one by one. Mildred can turn them into snails as they come in. Do you think you’re up to a mass snail-in, Mildred?’

  ‘It’s my best spell, Miss Hardbroom,’ said Mildred. ‘I can do ants now too,’ she added proudly.

  ‘What have ants got to do with it?’ snapped Miss Hardbroom. ‘Just concentrate on snails, Mildred. We don’t want to find an ants’ nest under the floorboards.’

  The hall clock struck two, and a light tap was heard on the back door. The girls’ hearts were thumping as they stood in the shadows and watched Miss Cackle open the door. ‘One at a time, ladies,’ she whispered into the yard, as she ushered the first witch inside.

  CHAPTER EIGHTEEN

  y three o’clock, Miss Hardbroom, Miss Cackle and their three exhausted pupils were all up in Miss Cackle’s room, contemplating several shoeboxes full of the entire coven, except for one jam jar, which contained Agatha, now sulking under the leaves.

  Mildred had rescued Tabby from his cat-basket prison in the impostor’s room and was holding him very gently.

  ‘Let’s all have a nice cup of tea!’ said Miss Cackle. ‘I really think we deserve one after such a ghastly night – especially Mildred here. I know that she does have her moments of – unruliness, Miss Hardbroom, but she also does have quite an extraordinary knack of being in the right place at the right time – especially when it comes to my sister! No wonder Agatha locked her in the airing cupboard as fast as possible!’

  Miss Hardbroom took Mildred’s arm and pulled her towards the wall lantern.

  ‘What are all these little black specks on your face?’ she said, peering at Mildred, who shrank back nervously. ‘You look as if someone’s sprayed ink all over you.’

  ‘I think it was from when I was an ant, Miss Hardbroom,’ said Mildred.

  ‘An ant?’ said Miss Hardbroom. ‘What is all this about ants, Mildred?’

  ‘Never mind,’ soothed Miss Cackle. ‘It’s a long story and we’re all tired out. We’ll have to find a new teacher for Form Three first thing tomorrow. Actually, I’ve just received a late application from a Miss Mould, who sounds promising; she teaches art and ceramics, as well as basic potions and advanced flying. What do you think, Miss Hardbroom?’

  ‘I think she sounds a possible, Miss Cackle,’ agreed Miss Hardbroom. ‘But I think she might be best for my Year Twos. They’re a quiet bunch this year and I can see that Form Three would benefit from some firm guidance after such a dreadful start to the term.’

  ‘An excellent idea, Miss Hardbroom.’ Miss Cackle beamed. ‘I’m sure the girls would be most relieved to be back in your care for a third year – wouldn’t you, girls?’

  The girls looked stunned and didn’t know what to say.

  ‘That’s settled, then,’ said Miss Cackle. ‘Off to bed now, girls, and thank you for all your hard work.’

  The three friends trooped downstairs together.

  ‘I have to hand it to you, Milly,’ said Maud with a smile. ‘Things are never boring when you’re around! I don’t know why H.B. calls you the Worst Witch. I think she ought to create a special award just for you!’

  ‘You’re unique!’ laughed Enid. ‘The one and only, never-to-be-repeated Mildred Hubble – always gets out of trouble, whatever it is!’

  ‘I know it sounds a bit weird,’ said Mildred, draping Tabby over her shoulder and smoothing the fur between his ears, ‘but I think it might actually be quite comforting to have Miss Hardbroom bossing us all around again. More normal, if you know what I mean.’

  Maud agreed heartily. ‘I know just what you mean, Mil,’ she said. ‘I have to admit that I was almost pining for some law and order over the last few days!’

  Miss Hardbroom materialized with a whoosh at the entrance to the Form Three bedrooms.

  ‘And I’ve missed you too,’ she said, with an almost friendly smile. ‘You may be hard work, Form Three, but you certainly come up with some very interesting results!’

  This brief flicker of friendliness was gone in a second. ‘Now then, into your rooms,
lights out and asleep in two minutes,’ she barked, ‘and no more talking.’

  Mildred dived under the covers and settled Tabby in his usual position on her chest. To her delight, he started to purr and butt her hand so that she could go on smoothing his head, just the way he liked, and before long the two of them were so fast asleep that they didn’t even hear the bats come in from their night’s hunting.