L. Frank Baum - Oz 34 Read online

  “No, no!” the boy said impatiently. “I can’t stop to tell you. Scraps and Jack Pumpkinhead are prisoners on a chocolate star. Only the great Wizard of Oz can bring them back.”

  “Come inside,” said the short man, with a crackle of a laugh. “I am pretty good at finding lost people myself.”

  Number Nine stepped into the room. It was the smallest and dingiest of any room in the palace. In each of the four walls was a battered old door. The man looked too small and insignificant to belong in the palace.

  “He’s just a lunatic who lives in the tower. can’t help me,” thought Number Nine.

  The man sat down and motioned Number Nine to another chair. “Hungry? I’ll whistle up a meal for you.”

  The man whistled, and immediately one of the doors opened and a tray of food walked in on four silver legs. It was the most elaborate meal that Number Nine had ever seen.

  “Help yourself. Go ahead,” said the man. “All I want is a cookie.”

  “We mustn’t lose any time! Think of the two prisoners,” cried the boy. “Come, now, have a bit of food,” coaxed the man.

  Number Nine thought he could get away sooner by obeying, so he helped himself to some food.

  “He’s completely cracked,” thought the boy.

  The little man nibbled his cookie. Suddenly he shot a question at the boy. “How would you like a new job, working for me? I need a lazy boy.”

  Number Nine stopped eating and said, “No, thank you! I have a good job. And I’m not as lazy as you

  think.”

  “That’s too bad. Then I can’t hire you. As soon as you are through eating, we’ll try to locate your missing friends.”

  Number Nine jumped up. “I’m all through now.”

  “Follow me,” roared the little man, holding his broom in both hands in front of him. As Number Nine stood up, the east door opened

  by itself, and they went through it.

  “This east room is my laboratory,” said the little man. Number Nine’s blue mouth opened in astonishment at what he saw.

  The room was large and filled with all kinds of machinery, bottles, retorts, and tubes. The tubes were filled with bright-colored powders and bubbling liquids that filled the room with fragrant odors. There were also queer mirrors, and telescopes with automatic hands that focused and adjusted themselves, and endless gears and wheels, and enormous pendulums that swung rhythmically from the ceilinge “First, we’ll consult the Bureau of Missing Persons.” The little man went to a bureau at the wall, pulled open a drawer, and took out a little black notebook. “As soon as anything is missing in Oz, its name writes itself in this book,” he explained. “Some of these things have been missing for hundreds of years. Here is a Munchkin baker boy who has missing for 984 years, 5 days, and 6 hours. My, my! I am certainly behind in my work!” The little man kept turning the pages of the notebook. He read, as if talking to himself, “2 walking lamp posts, 1 pink kitten, 20 solid-gold fish, 1 greedy cow, and yes, yes, here they are! 1 Jack Pumpkinhead and 1 Scraps, a patchwork girl.”

  The man looked up. “You are right. They are

  missing.”

  “I know it,” said Number Nine, jumping at the little man with anger. “You are just wasting time. I don’t believe you can find them!” The little man chuckled. “Just step this way, to the west room, please.” He led the way through another door.

  They passed down a hall, and Number Nine stared at the crowded hooks and shelves there. He saw many wigs and masks, false faces, and false legs and arms, noses, and eyes of every color and size. And there were animal skins, and the wings of birds, bats, butterflies, and insects. Besides these, there were dozens of men’s suits, frock coats in red, green, blue, purple, and yellow, and canes and high silk hats.

  “The man must be terribly loony,” thought the boy. “Who can he be?”

  Next minute Number Nine found himself standing

  in the west room. It was empty, except for a large

  and strange machine in the center.

  “This is the teletable. It locates missing things

  and people.” The little man began to turn some dials.

  Number Nine watched him closely. The man went

  on explaining, “The two main parts of this machine are the Compound Gazabo and the Goggle-optics. With these, one can see and hear to the farthest star.”

  He pointed to another part, saying, “And here is the Trumpet Eye. You put your eye to it and listen. You put your ear to it and look. Is it all clear?”

  “As clear as chocolate,” said the boy.

  “It’s such an intelligent machine, the most stupid person can run it. Here, you locate your friends. yourself. And if you find anything else, make a note of it.” The man handed the boy some ruled music paper. “I’ll just sit down and take a little nap.”

  Taking a seat in the corner, the man covered his head with a napkin.

  Number Nine sat down before the machine and put his ear to the Trumpet Eye. At the same time, he watched an oblong mirror attached to it, and his fingers turned some dials. Soon a formless mass appeared in the mirror.

  “I’m finding something!” exclaimed Number Nine. He carefully turned the dials, and the mass in the mirror came closer and took shape. It was a pink kitten, combing itself with a black comb and mewing forlornly.

  “Ahz!” said Number Nine in disappointment. “It’s only that lost kitten, in the catacombs under the city.” He made some notes and turned the dials again. “I hope I find the prisoners soon.” The mirror cleared, and then another picture took shape. This time Number Nine saw an old man with a long blue beard, wearing a baker’s cap and a short, Munchkin boy’s suit, fishing by a blue river. A string of five solid-gold fish lay beside him.

  “That must be the Munchkin baker boy who has been missing over 984 years. He has caught only 5 of the 20 missing solid-gold fish! His beard has grown quite long, but he hasn’t changed his clothes all the time,” thought Number Nine.

  “Ho, hum!” The baker’s yawn came through

  teletable.

  “The loafer! I suppose it would take a cake of yeast to raise him from that soft spot,” declared Number Nine.

  Once again he made some notes and turned dials. This time stars and clouds flashed across mirror. Then a chocolate-colored speck came view. “I’m getting it!” exclaimed the boy. He spun the dials slowly, watching the speck grow bigger and take the shape of a star. Then its entire shape was no longer in the mirror, but only a part

  of it. He saw a chocolate mountain-top.

  “There they are !” he shouted, catching sight of Jack and then of Scraps in their prison cells. Marching back and forth before the prison was the moody-faced General.

  “That blackguard stayed home himself and sent his soldiers to capture the Emerald City,” thought Number Nine. He heard Scraps calling to the General,

  “Hi, you fat fox, Why won’t you box?”

  Number Nine saw the General stop and glare at Scraps, saying, “Listen, Rags, for the last time, I tell you I’ll never be boxed chocolate!” At these words Jack Pumpkinhead shook the bars and shouted, “When Jenny comes back, she’ll make it so hot for you, you’ll run!”

  “She is never coming back,” boasted the General with a terrible scowl. “By this time, my army has captured the Emerald City. I am awaiting word at any moment.”

  Number Nine became so excited, he shook his fist at the picture in the mirror and yelled, forgetting that the instrument could not carry his voice, “Ho, ho, is that so, you thick chocolate ninny? You ought

  to see your brave soldiers playing with the children in the park!”

  The little man woke from his nap and took the napkin from his head.

  “Well,” he smiled pleasantly, “have you picked up anything of interest?”

  “I have found them!” exclaimed Number Nine Proudly. “At least, they’re in the teletable. Now, how do we bring them home?”

  The little man nodded. “I told you that was
a smart machine. Now, to the cosmic with my Ozmic

  Ray!”

  The man went to a closet and came back carrying a long tube. He connected this to the side of the teletable.

  “Keep the picture and the sound clear,” he said to Number Nine. “Wish them back intensely, while I adjust the intensifier.”

  The boy closed his eyes and wished hard. When he opened his eyes, he saw a golden beam of light shooting from the end of the tube through the open window, and toward the sky. The machine was sputtering electrically. Number Nine looked into mirror. It showed him the other end of the golden beam speeding toward the chocolate mountain. shower of sparks fell over the General and the prison.

  “Ouch! I’m melting!” came the General’s voice. The General and the chocolate prison were melting down and running in liquid trickles over the mountain rocks.

  “We’re free! We’re free!” Jack Pumpkinh shouted to Scraps. Then the two leaped over liquid chocolate and ran toward the golden ray. “Look!” Scraps was so excited she forgot rhyme. “It tips down from the mountain like a banister. Shall we slide down it?”

  “Yes,” said Jack. “Oh, I hope it leads to Emerald

  City!”

  Scraps climbed onto the Ozmic Ray, face downward, hugging it like a banister. “Here I go!

  Toward friend or foe!” She shot downward. Jack Pumpkinhead moved stiffly, saying, “I hope my head doesn’t fly off on the way down.” Then he slid after her.

  “Here we are, from the star!” came a merry voice in the laboratory. Jerking around, Number Nine saw Scraps and Jack Pumpkinhead sliding down the Ozmic Ray, through the window, and toward the teletable!

  Boom! boom! They came to a stop and jumped to

  the floor.

  “Yippee!” cried Scraps, and began turning back-flips through the room.

  “Thank Ozness, we’re saved,” cried Jack, his yellow face beaming.

  Number Nine pointed to the little bald-headed man. “Thank him. He saved you. And I don’t even know his name.”

  “Never mind,” said the little man hastily. “Ozma has just returned, and I must present myself to her. I’ll have to change my clothes, so you three had better go.”

  The thought of going down those hundreds of stairs made Number Nine sigh. “My legs ache at the thought of that long climb down,” he said.

  “Then you may use the Ambassa-door,” said the little man, pointing to the south door. “The three of you just stand before it and wish yourselves at the foot of the stairs.”

  “I didn’t get to see the Wizard,” said Number Nine in disappointment, as he and Jack, and Scraps walked to the door. It looked like any old battered door, without magical powers. But no sooner had Number Nine made the wish, than the Ambassa-door whisked him out, and he found himself, along with Jack Pumpkinhead and Scraps, in the Grand Hallway on the first floor of the palace.

  The three looked around and saw that the Grand Hallway was crowded with people and other creatures from all the lands of Oz. Among these were the celebrated Scarecrow, the Tin Woodman, Professor Wogglebug, Glinda the Good, Princess Dorothy, and Aunt Em and Uncle Henry.

  Rows of footmen in green uniforms with gold tassels stood erect along the walls. At the foot of the stairs stood the Soldier with the Green Whiskers. Raising his trumpet to his lips, the Soldier blew four notes: TA-RA-TA-TA!

  All heads turned toward the Grand Stairway. Number Nine, Jack Pumpkinhead, and Scraps stood looking up the stairway. After a few minutes a little man in a bright red frock coat, high-heeled boots, a shirt with a starched collar appeared on the stairs. He carried a brilliant red cane and a high silk hat. He came slowly down the stairs, bearing himself with great dignity.

  “Why, that’s the little man I was with all the afternoon!” thought Number Nine. “Can he be as important as all this?”

  At the moment the Soldier with the Green Whiskers sang out, “MAKE WAY FOR HIS EX-

  CELLENCY, THE GREAT WIZARD OF OZ!”

  “Well!” declared Number Nine in astonishment “I guess I was the loony one all the time!”

  The guests now went into the great Banquet Hall of the palace, and Number Nine hurried to tell Jenny his adventures.

  “Your Sawhorse is outside. the palace, waiting to take you back to the pumpkin field,” said Number Nine to Jack Pumpkinhead. “As for you, Scraps, come with me to the Style Shop and Jenny will change you from that funny-looking boy’s bathing suit to your own precious patches.”

  Scraps somersaulted happily after him.

  CHAPTER 24

  The Midnight Oil Burns Low

  IT WAS almost evening when Jenny closed the shop. It had been a busy day, and she was tired. But she felt happy to know that the prisoners had returned to the Emerald City. Number Nine had come and gone and now Jenny went upstairs to get ready for bed.

  “Perhaps Ozma will hold the ozlection now that

  I’m back,” thought Jenny.

  Before she could undress, there was a knock at the shop door. She hurried downstairs. Outside the door of the shop, she saw Jellia Jamb, Ozma’s maid-in-waiting.

  “Come in, Jellia,” said Jenny, opening the door

  wide.

  “I can’t stay. Ozma sent me to ask you to come to the meeting in the Ivory Tower, at the top of the

  Ploz.”

  “Ploz?” said Jenny. “What’s that?”

  “P.L.O~Public Library of Oz,” explained Jellia. “The meeting is important. It’s about the ozlection,” she said, and hurried away.

  Jenny put on her newest dress, a pink trimmed with soap bubbles. As she looked into her mirror she thought, “I look as young as Number Nine. But he doesn’t seem as young to me as he used to.” Smiling, she stepped out into the twilight, drawing the door shut behind her. The entire house immediately shuttered itself, except Jenny’s bedroom, which remained waiting up for her.

  Jenny hurried toward the library building which was darkening with the evening. The only light came from a small window in the tower.

  “That’s a strange place for a meeting,” Jenny said to herself. “I wonder why they chose that. But Ozma acts wisely. I’ll know soon enough.”

  There was nobody in the street, for the people and the houses retire early, and Jenny felt lonesome running along by herself. She talked aloud, to keep herself company.

  When she came up to the library building, she was no longer alone. For at that moment, there arrived Ozma’s carriage, drawn by the Cowardly Lion and the Hungry Tiger. It stopped at the door, and from it dismounted Ozma, Dorothy, Glinda, the Scarecrow, the Tin Woodman, Uncle Henry, and Aunt Em. Now that she saw the royal party, she felt honored to be present. It was indeed an important occasion, and tomorrow she would tell Number Nine all about it.

  “Hello, Jenny dear,” called Ozma. “It was nice of you to come. I was at Glinda’s castle when you saved the city with your turn-style. If you and your office boy had not acted so promptly, the city might have been submerged in chocolate when I returned. I thank you with all my heart and shall reward you in good time.”

  “Oh, it was nothing at all, Your Majesty,” said

  Jenny.

  The Scarecrow opened the door for Queen Ozma,

  sweeping off his hat and bowing low as she passed. Ozma smiled and paused a moment before going in. “Professor Wogglebug isn’t expecting us,” she said. “But I know he’ll welcome a surprise.”

  At this moment the Cowardly Lion spoke up. “Isn’t this a rather dark part of town?”

  “The books in this library are full of illumination,” laughed the Scarecrow.

  “Books have never been known to shed light on animals,” said the Cowardly Lion dolefully.

  “Don’t fear,” said Ozma. “You and the Hungry Tiger may come with us.”

  Uncle Henry unharnessed the animals, and the two bounded into the building.

  “Hm!” said the Hungry Tiger, sniffing the air and looking around at the thousands of books that covered the walls, “not a juicy bone in all t
his dry

  stuff.”

  The Cowardly Lion replied, “During the day there are some boneheads here. But at night only the bookworms remain.”

  “What’s a little bookworm to an appetite like mine? No, I’ll just stay hungry,” said the Tiger.

  The rest of the party came into the library and went toward the reversible chute. This was a slide

  that carried one up to the top floor of the building. This chute was very useful, although it was the result of an accident. Professor Wogglebug, who had prepared the design for the builder, had accidentally copied the specifications backward, reversing the action of the slide. The atoms and molecules, all being reversed, slid everything up instead of down.

  One by one, the party sat down on the bottom of the chute and were slid up, coming to a stop before the door of the Ivory Tower. On this door hung a

  sign:

  THE PROFESSOR IS IN

  When they were all assembled at the door, Ozma tapped on it. There was no answer. She knocked again, more loudly. Still there was no sound from inside the room.

  Ozma knocked a third time, so hard that her knuckles hurt. But only silence came from within.

  “He must be wrapped in his work over his ears,” said the Scarecrow. “I think we must all pound on the door.”

  They all knocked to help arouse the Wogglebug. The Cowardly Lion and the Hungry Tiger thumped on the door with their tails, the Scarecrow beat with his kingly scepter, the Tin Woodman pounded with his funnel hat, and the others used their knuckles.

  They kept up the pounding and knocking until Aunt Em said, “I declare, the Professor’s mind must be wandering.”

  “If ‘twas a hog wandering, I’d give the hog call. That would bring it back,” said Uncle Henry. “But I suppose you can’t use a hog call on a professor!”