Carol Lynne Read online

  “I appreciate that,” Joseph replied. “But you won’t cause any trouble for me. I’ve found my place in this world, and I’ve been completely open with my small but devoted congregation.”

  Nate began to squirm in his chair. Rio must’ve noticed because his lover reached under the table to hold Nate’s hand. “So, you’re still a priest?” Nate asked. He felt incredibly uncomfortable asking, especially with Phillip in the room.

  “Not a priest, no,” Joseph answered, shaking his head. “Shortly after I was sent away, I tried to commit suicide.” As Joseph spoke he pushed back his shirt to reveal the truth of his words. The long thin scars were gut wrenching. What if Joseph had succeeded? Would Nate have felt guilty for the rest of his life?

  “I felt I’d failed not only you, but especially God. The fact that I survived helped me to understand that God had forgiven me. Unfortunately, the church hadn’t. I was immediately thrown out of the seminary and sent on my way.”

  Nate tried unsuccessfully to cover a gasp. “I’m so sorry.” He knew how strong Joseph’s faith had been. To be rejected…

  “Don’t be,” Joseph was quick to say. “I’m happier now than I could’ve ever been. When I arrived home, I volunteered at a free health clinic here in downtown DC. That’s where I met my Phillip.” He reached over and took his lover’s hand. “With Phillip’s help, I was able to open a small shelter next to the clinic. There are so many under-aged men on the streets whose only crime was coming out to their families. We take them in, clothe them and help them to find jobs. On Sundays, we hold worship services. So you see, I’m exactly where I need to be.”

  Nate sat in awe of the man to his left. Joseph had led such a productive and worthwhile life it almost shamed him. He thought of the money in his bank account. Although his father hadn’t paid him off with a king’s ransom, Nate had been a very savvy investor over the years. His account held more than enough to last him the rest of his life. The thought of helping to fund the shelter made him smile. His father would have a stroke if he knew his money was funding such an organisation. “I want to help.”

  * * * *

  Tyler sat beside Hearn on the drive back to Cattle Valley. He hadn’t spoken much since leaving the centre, his thoughts swirling inside his head like a tornado ripping through Kansas. “Have you ever thought of adopting Gracie?”

  Hearn, whose own thoughts seemed to be keeping him busy, put a hand on Tyler’s thigh. “Huh?”

  Tyler chuckled. “I asked if you’d ever considered adopting Gracie.”

  Hearn seemed surprised at the question. “Ah, no, not really. She deserves a family.”

  Tyler rolled his eyes and turned sideways in the seat. “What she deserves is love, and that you have for her in spades.”

  Hearn gave a little shake to his head as if to clear it. “There’s more to raising a kid besides loving them.”

  “Like what?” Tyler was curious about Hearn’s views on what a real family should be.

  “Well, there’s clothing them, feeding them…”

  “All of which you have the means to do,” Tyler interrupted.

  “It just wouldn’t be right,” Hearn stated.

  Tyler knew he’d continue to work on Hearn regarding the issue. His lover had far too much love in his heart to deny the little girl they’d just left. “Will you do me a favour?”

  “Sure, if I can.”

  “I’ll drop the discussion for now if you’ll promise to think about something for me. How would you feel if someone swooped in and adopted Gracie tomorrow? Would you be able to live with yourself if you never again had the chance to hold her in your arms?”

  Tyler watched Hearn closely as he spoke. The pain visible on the man’s face said it all. Tyler leaned over and kissed the bigger man’s neck. “I’m sorry if it hurts, but it’s something you need to think about before it’s too late.”

  They drove the rest of the way to Cattle Valley in silence. With the cold chill sitting beside him, Tyler unbuckled and moved to the other side of the truck cab’s bench seat. It came as quite a surprise when Hearn bypassed Tyler’s shop and headed towards his house.

  Pulling into the garage, Hearn shut down the engine and turned to Tyler. “Thought I’d make you some dinner if you’re up for it?”

  He could tell by the tone of Hearn’s voice he was asking for more than just dinner. Tyler could’ve kicked himself. Had he unknowingly made Hearn feel like he was criticising him for not adopting Gracie? Shit.

  Tyler released himself from the seat belt and slid across to Hearn’s lap. With the steering wheel against his back, he wrapped his arms around Hearn’s neck and kissed him. “I’d love to stay for dinner,” he whispered.

  Hearn looked like he wanted to say more, but instead simply smiled. “Spaghetti?”

  “Sounds good,” Tyler agreed, opening Hearn’s door. He could tell something between them had shifted, but he wasn’t sure if it was good or bad. He sent up a silent prayer as he waited for Hearn to climb out of the truck. Lord, please don’t let me screw this up.

  * * * *

  After putting the last of the dishes in the dishwasher, Hearn turned to Tyler. “Stay over and watch a movie with me?”

  Tyler nodded enthusiastically. “You do have a DVD player in your bedroom, right?”

  Chuckling, Hearn turned off the kitchen light and wrapped his arm around Tyler’s shoulders. “I do, as a matter of fact.”

  As he led Tyler over to the DVD cabinet, he continued to work through things in his mind. Tyler had been right earlier. He hadn’t allowed himself to think about Gracie leaving the centre with another family. There was a large part of him that knew it would be best for her to have both a mother and a father, but Gracie was a special case. Hearn seriously doubted she’d ever get over her fear of women, and who could blame her?

  The hour drive home had given him a lot of time to think. He’d realised he did want a family, but not without Tyler. Watching his lover with Gracie earlier had cemented Hearn’s feelings for the man. It hadn’t mattered that the two most important people in his life had hit a few speed bumps. The important thing was the hug Tyler had given Gracie before they had left. As she wrapped her little arms around Tyler’s neck, Gracie had looked up at Hearn and smiled. His angel appeared truly happy right there in Tyler’s embrace.

  “How ‘bout this one?” Tyler asked, holding up Walking Tall.

  Hearn chuckled. “Are you sure? Do you know how many times I’ve jacked off watching The Rock in action?”

  Tyler’s face screwed up like he’d just sucked a lemon and put the movie back on the shelf. “I may never watch another one of his movies again.”

  Next, Tyler picked up the new James Bond flick. Yep, Hearn had jacked off to Daniel Craig as well, but he wasn’t about to admit that to Tyler, if he did, he’d be reduced to watching nothing but animated cartoons. Damn. I’m a pathetic horndog.

  “That’s good,” Hearn agreed with Tyler’s choice.

  Feeling only slightly guilty, Hearn pulled Tyler towards the bedroom. As Tyler loaded the movie, Hearn undressed and slid under the covers.

  Tyler turned around and chuckled. “Wow, you’re fast.”

  “I wanted to watch the pre-movie entertainment.” Fluffing his pillows against the headboard, he clasped his hands and set them in his lap. “Okay, I’m ready.”

  Still laughing, Tyler began to shimmy and sway to unheard music. Hearn couldn’t help chuckling as his lover slowly pulled the shirt over his head. He whipped the long-sleeved T-shirt above his head as if it were a lasso or something. Hearn rolled his eyes and shook his head at his partner’s silliness.

  Dropping the shirt to the floor, Tyler slowly unbuttoned his jeans and slid them down his legs, kicking them to the side. Once completely naked, the sultry dance turned into more of a bodybuilding routine, with Tyler flexing his toned, but small muscles this way and that.

  “Hah, The Rock ain’t got nothin’ on me,” Tyler boasted, ending the routine with a kiss to each bicep
s.

  Although the entire show was meant to be entertaining, and it was, Hearn pointed to the tented covers at his groin. “You’re right, baby, I’ll never jack off to anyone but you again.”

  Seemingly satisfied, Tyler gave Hearn a short nod before bouncing onto the bed. “You’re damn right you won’t.”

  Lifting the blankets, Tyler moulded himself to Hearn’s side. “Want a pillow?” Hearn asked, stacking another one against the headboard.

  “Nope, got all I need right here.” Tyler laid his head on Hearn’s chest and settled in. “Okay, I’m ready,” Tyler informed him.

  Hearn hit the play button and tossed the remote onto the bedside table. He doubted they’d get much movie watching in, but he was willing to give it a shot.

  About fifteen minutes into the film, Tyler moved his leg up to brush his knee against Hearn’s half-hard erection. Hearn bit back the moan, curious as to what his little man would try next.

  He didn’t have to wait long, before Tyler glanced up at him. “You cold?” Tyler used it as an excuse to put the covers up around his shoulders.

  “I’m good,” Hearn answered, chest still uncovered.

  Tyler made a production of settling back down to watch the movie, but within moments, Hearn felt his lover’s warm hand inch its way towards his cock. Grinning, Hearn ran his hand through the silky brown hair lying against his chest. “Not interested in the movie?”

  “Huh? Yeah, sure. Just can’t find a comfortable position.”

  “Hmmm.” Hearn reached under the blanket and moved Tyler’s hand closer to his cock. “That help?”

  Tyler began slowly stroking Hearn’s shaft. “Yeah, thanks.”

  “No. Thank you,” Hearn groaned, bending one leg out to the side to give Tyler more room to play.

  As he stroked his hand up and down the ridges of Tyler’s spine, he sighed. He knew this was what he wanted, a simple life with the man he loved. The thought of bringing Gracie into the mix would be icing on the cake, but he needed to do things in the right order. He’d thought of little else since he’d first told Tyler he loved him, but it was too soon. Sure, he’d loved the man for a year, but he’d also been carrying around the guilt of Mitch’s death. Somehow he knew he needed to be completely over the ordeal with his ex before asking Tyler to move in.

  “You okay?” Tyler asked.

  “Yeah.”

  “You must be doing some heavy duty thinking, because my new toy no longer seems interested in playing.”

  Hearn chuckled. “Well, maybe you could revive it with a little resuscitation, if you know what I mean?”

  Tyler rolled to lie between Hearn’s already-spread legs. “I thought you’d never ask,” he said, diving under the covers.

  Chapter Eight

  “Just four left to deliver,” Tyler told Hearn, placing the bouquets in a cardboard box for safe travel.

  “Five,” Hearn informed him. “I need you to make up one for Mitch’s grave.”

  Tyler almost dropped the vase of three dozen roses. “What?” He felt like his heart was being ripped out of his chest. After all that had happened the previous several weeks, Tyler assumed Hearn was over Mitch.

  Hearn had the decency to look down at the floor. “It’s something I need to do.”

  All his adult life, Tyler had dreamed of spending a Valentine’s Day with the man he loved. Somehow having that man take flowers to someone else didn’t quite figure in to that particular dream.

  Tyler went from hurt to pissed in seconds. He walked over to the refrigerator and grabbed a handful of daisies. Stepping up to Hearn, he shoved the dripping, dishevelled flowers into his hand. “Don’t bother giving Mitch my best.”

  Spinning on his heel, Tyler lifted the bouquets for delivery and strode out the back door to his car. He secured the box with a seatbelt, and climbed behind the wheel, hoping Hearn would emerge from the building and beg his forgiveness.

  Several minutes later, Tyler put the car into gear and headed across town to his first delivery. “Dammit!” he screamed at the top of his lungs.

  After dropping off the last of the bouquets, he reached for his cell phone and called Wyn.

  “Hello,” Palmer Wynfield answered.

  “Hey, it’s Tyler.”

  “The flowers Hearn delivered are beautiful. Thank you.”

  “You’re welcome, but you should be thanking Ezra.”

  Wyn chuckled. “Oh I will. Don’t you worry about that.”

  Despite his mood, Tyler found himself grinning. Wyn had always been able to make him smile. The older man had become a pseudo-surrogate father to him.

  “Did I catch you at a bad time?” he asked. Wyn had so many irons in the fire lately they hadn’t had a chance to get together in over a month.

  “Nope. I’m at The Grizzly Bar, having a drink and sitting beside the fire. Care to join me?”

  Tyler thought of the drive up the mountain. He normally didn’t take his little car on such treacherous roads, but it had been over a week since their last snowfall. “I’ll be there in about fifteen minutes.”

  “Sounds good. Want me to order you something to eat?” Wyn asked.

  With his stomach in knots, Tyler knew there was no way he could eat. “No thanks.”

  “Okay, drive careful.”

  “Always.” Tyler disconnected the phone and turned it off. He thought of turning it back on in case Hearn called, before deciding against it. Fuck him. If Hearn needed something he could ask his ex-partner for it, oh yeah, right, he couldn’t. Mitch was fucking dead!

  * * * *

  With the dripping bouquet in his hand, Hearn watched as Tyler stormed out of the store. “Shit.”

  He tossed the flowers onto the counter and buried his face in his hands. The brass bell over the door rang, signalling someone’s arrival. “Tyler stepped out,” he barked, trying to get his emotions under control.

  “Will he be back?” a deep voice asked.

  Turning around, Hearn saw Gill standing there with a big box in his hands. “I’m not sure. He’s pissed at me,” Hearn offered with a shrug.

  Gill walked over and set the box on the counter. “Kyle sent over some leftover pastries.” The huge man started to leave, but stopped with his hand on the doorknob. “You okay?”

  Hearn shook his head. “I fucked up,” he admitted.

  Gill chuckled, the sound so deep it rattled Hearn’s chest. “Well of course you did. You’re a man. We all fuck up from time to time.”

  Hearn shook his head. “No, I think this was a really bad fuck up.”

  After glancing at his watch, Gill motioned for Hearn. “Come on. I’ll buy you a beer at O’Brien’s.”

  Hearn took one last glance at the flowers on the counter and nodded. He used the spare key to lock the door before following Gill down the street to what used to be Brewster’s.

  Instead of sitting at the bar, Gill led him to a booth. “Two of the dark brew,” Gill called to Sean, before turning back to Hearn. “Okay. It’s Valentine’s Day. Don’t tell me you forgot to give Tyler something.”

  Hearn shook his head. “I actually had a pretty romantic night set up.”

  “So what’s the problem?” Gill thanked Sean with a nod, as the pub owner set down their drinks.

  How did Hearn even begin to explain the way his mind worked? “I planned to ask Tyler to move in with me.”

  “Sounds good so far.”

  Hearn took a drink of his beer, licking the foam from his upper lip. “I got this crazy idea that I needed to say goodbye to Mitch before starting my life with Tyler, so I made the mistake of telling the man I love to fix me up a bouquet for Mitch’s grave.”

  “Are you fucking nuts?” Gill asked, nostrils flaring and voice getting loud.

  Remembering the hurt expression on Tyler’s face, Hearn nodded. “Yeah. I guess I am. It was gonna be my last trip to Mitch’s grave.”

  Gill shook his head and finished off his beer. “I’m no Romeo, and Lord knows I’ve made stupid mistakes, but
damn.” Gill, shook his head. He pulled out his phone and handed it to Hearn. “Call him.”

  Squirming in his seat, Hearn studied the phone in his hand. “But what do I say?”

  “Tell him you’re an asshole. Tell him you can’t live without him.” Gill threw up his hands. “Fuck if I know. Whatever it takes.”

  When his call went straight to voice mail he rolled his eyes and left a short message for Tyler to call him. He pressed the end key and tried to give the phone back to Gill.

  The big man crossed his arms and refused to take it. “Don’t wimp out now.”

  What the hell? “It’s turned off. What else am I supposed to do?”

  Gill uncrossed his arms and leaned across the table. “You know him better than almost anyone. Where would he go to lick his wounds?”

  Wyn. He knew how close Tyler was to the older man. Before Wyn had gotten together with Ezra, Hearn had actually been jealous of the men’s close relationship. “Wyn, but I don’t know his number.”

  Gill grabbed the phone out of his hand and punched in Wyn’s number before handing it back.

  It rang three times before Wyn’s smooth voice answered. “Hello?”

  “It’s Hearn.”

  “I’ve been expecting your call.” Hearn could hear the smile in the older man’s voice.

  Hearn’s throat suddenly felt dry. “You have?”

  “Yes.”

  “Is he with you?” Hearn heard several voices shouting in the background. It was obvious Wyn was either having a party or at his bar.

  “Yes.”

  “Is he still mad?” He held his breath, waiting for the answer.

  “You could say that,” Wyn replied.

  Hearn heard Tyler’s voice in the background. “Who’s that?” Tyler asked. “If it’s Hearn tell him to go fuck himself.”

  Hearn didn’t miss the slurred speech. “Is he drunk?” he asked Wyn.

  “You could say that,” Wyn repeated.

  “I’m on my way. Don’t let him drive down the mountain.” Hearn hung up before Wyn had a chance to answer. “He’s at The Grizzly Bar,” he told Gill.