One Hella Lucky Goddess (The Midlife Goddess) Read online

  Table of Contents

  One Hella Lucky Goddess (The Midlife Goddess)

  One Hella Lucky Goddess

  In Which We Have Another Recap Masquerading as a Prologue

  Chapter One

  Chapter Two

  Chapter Three

  Chapter Four

  Chapter Five

  Chapter Six

  Chapter Seven

  Chapter Eight

  Chapter Nine

  Chapter Ten

  Chapter Eleven

  Author's Note

  Mr. Hell, Meet Ms. Haunted

  Olympus Bewitched

  Welcome to another day in the life of a not-so-young and oh-so-stressed goddess.

  Just when I thought I could go on a honeymoon with the ever gorgeous Lord of the Underworld, I find out I'm being sued by his ex-wife, aka the world's pettiest woman.

  Pettiest, you hear?

  Not prettiest.

  And no, I'm not being petty myself.

  Imagine being sued just because someone thinks you're not goddess material.

  Petty, right?

  But because Persephone has taken her case all the way to the Olympian High Court, I now have only under twenty-four hours to find myself a divine dominion to claim and rule...or risk losing my title as LOTUS.

  Honestly, you guys: since when did not being "divine" enough become a crime?

  One Hella Lucky Goddess

  By Marian Tee writing as Alice Bloome

  (The Midlife Goddess #4)

  Copyright 2021 by Streak Digital Publishing

  All rights reserved. This book or any portion thereof may not be reproduced or used in any manner whatsoever without the express written permission of the publisher except for the use of brief quotations in a book review.

  All characters appearing in this work are fictitious. Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.

  In Which We Have Another Recap Masquerading as a Prologue

  So...Mt. Olympus, you guys.

  I can't say the place has ever made it to my bucket list, and frankly, if I knew anyone who has it in theirs, I'd totally think that person bonkers.

  Because duh.

  Mt. Olympus isn't real...or so we all humans were supposed to think.

  But...I digress.

  Mt. Olympus is home to the Twelve Great Olympians, one of which could have been my husband...if he hadn't turned the offer down. He's just chill that way.

  And hot.

  Like hot literally and figuratively, since my gorgeous-even-when-grumpy Hadrian also happens to be Hades, ergo, the Lord of the Underworld, and hey now...did I just hear you snort?

  You're thinking being easily distracted comes naturally to me, aren't you?

  But I'm not.

  Really.

  The thing is, my occasionally low attention span is merely a lingering side effect of my previous condition (please refer to Book 3: Hell Becomes Her for more details *wink*), but I'm normally super focused. So enough with those rude snorts and eye rolls, 'kay?

  And besides, we have so much more fun things to talk about. Like...oh, right, like what I was talking about earlier.

  Mt. Olympus.

  Because that place, you guys...

  The journey alone to get to it is an adventure in itself.

  If there's more than one road that leads to Rome - huh? What's that again? You're saying I'm mixing my metaphors? I honestly wouldn't know...since I think I skipped classes back when my Grade 12 teacher was discussing that.

  But whatever.

  Metaphors, meteors.

  They're not the main point here, so I'd really appreciate it if you could stay focused.

  Like me.

  Yes.

  Like me.

  So anyway.

  As I was saying earlier, if there's more than one road that leads to Rome, it only follows that there's also more than one portal that can magically transport you to Mt. Olympus. But if you want to have the time of your life while getting there, the very best way to get to the gods' digs is to have one of the wind gods lasso a synefia for your ride.

  A synefia is a creature that only answers to Aeolus (aka the Keeper of the Winds) and his kin. It's cute, puffy, and cloud-like...but it also has the temperament of a raging bull, so be sure to go through the proper channels if you don't want them tossing you off their cotton-candy-ish backs once you're several thousand feet off the ground.

  And lastly, do remember to buckle up. Seatbelts exist for a reason, and riding a synefia is like taking a rollercoaster to Mt. Olympus. Expect a wildly exhilarating ride, and expect things to get even more magical once you've made it to the pantheon's legendary residence.

  Think Santorini by the sea with its posh whitewashed villas, blue-domed churches (or temples in this case), and cliffside views. Mt. Olympus has all of that and more...since it also happens to be a mega island floating above the great blue skies.

  The place is beyond anything I've ever imagined, and that's saying a lot, believe me.

  Since I'm a huge fan of Disney's Hercules, there's little I don't know about Greek mythology. My husband might beg to differ, of course, but we need to cut him some slack.

  Disney did paint a rather horrible picture of Hadrian in the movie-turned-TV-series, but I promise you, nothing can be further from the truth. My Hades, ergo the real Hades, is the quintessential tall, dark, and handsome Greek, and Hadrian even smolders and broods to perfection. He's practically everything you'd imagine a regular romance novel hero to be...except for one thing.

  In the thousands and thousands of years that he's been alive (I'm not actually sure how old he is; the man can be rather touchy about his age), the Lord of the Underworld has apparently failed to receive any memo about alphas often doubling as selfish, insensitive turds.

  Like, seriously.

  Hadrian and I had the chance to meet as strangers twice (you can know more about this by checking out You Had Me at Boo, hohoho) and in both times my husband always ended up having me move in with him and saying he's in love with me...within days.

  That's just how perfect he is, and yes, I know I've ended up rambling off-topic again, but no, this still doesn't prove I'm easily distracted. I may be in my forties, but I'm also a woman in love. Hadrian and I have only been married for weeks, so of course my thoughts still get sidetracked where he's concerned.

  I mean, I used to hate mornings when I was alive, and I actually did still hate it a little back when I was a ghost (please refer to Book 1: Mr. Hell, Meet Ms. Haunted for more details *snicker*), but ever since Hadrian and I became an item?

  Boy, do I love mornings.

  They've even become my favorite time of the day, and it's mainly because of how much I love, love waking up to finding Hadrian doing something wicked to me...or inside of me. We're all adults here, so I'm sure you get what I mean, and...fine, fine, fine, I'm digressing again.

  As I was saying...Mt. Olympus is, in a word, magical, and the few ancient books that describe it do not do the place justice at all...on purpose.

  Everything written about it is a lie, and all of it done at the gods' behest.

  To this day, Mt. Olympus remains one of the Greek pantheon's most closely guarded secrets, and the fact that I'm now actually stepping foot on its hallowed grounds is both incredibly humbling and mind-blowingly exciting.

  This should've been one of the best days in my life, and it could've been...if not for the fact that I also happen to be here because I'm being sued.

  Le sigh.

  Welcome to another day in the life of this not-so-newbie goddess, and now that we're all caught
up once again...

  Chapter One

  Three judges and a goddess walked inside a tavern...

  And if you're thinking that's the beginning of a joke, I kinda wish you were right.

  But you're not.

  That scene is for real, since the goddess is me, and the three judges happened to be Hadrian's trio of most trusted vassals.

  Turquoise-eyed Aeacus was a blunt-speaking soldier born to one of Aegina's most ancient families. Rhadamanthus and his cynical older brother Minos, on the other hand, both hailed from Crete, and the latter was often mistaken for his like-named grandfather monarch, whose wife had infamously given birth to the Minotaur.

  As a collective whole I simply like to think of them as Hadrian's ARM, and while books on Greek mythology often referred to the three as the Underworld's three powerful judges...

  Right now the ARM had been reduced into glorified bodyguards, thanks to having an overprotective lord and liege.

  And I felt for them, really.

  They didn't deserve to play babysitter to my ass, which was why...

  "I'm sure you guys have better things to do," I told them with a cajoling smile. "So how about—-"

  Minos shook his head. "No."

  "But you don't even know—-"

  Rhadamanthus gave me a rather benign smile. "No."

  "But—-"

  "We have been given our orders," Aeacus said simply, "and we shall abide by it."

  "What about my orders?" I grumbled.

  It was Minos' turn to give me his version of a benign smile. "Now, now, milady."

  "We must be adults about this," Aeacus chided.

  Rhadamanthus pulled a chair out. "Why not take a seat while waiting for Lord Hades—-"

  I lifted my chin up. "Thank you for the offer, but no. I would really rather—-"

  Minos cut me off, asking politely, "What would you like to drink, milady?"

  "Will you please listen to me? I'm the one being sued—-"

  "I hear the poison ivy lemonade is supposed to be good here."

  "I should be there with Hadri—-" I paused. "Did you just say poison ivy?"

  And as if that wasn't distraction enough, Minos also waved for one of the tavern's servers, and a robed boy in his late teens came hurrying to our table.

  "Milords, milady." The boy bowed so low his head nearly touched the ground.

  "Your name, boy?" Minos asked.

  "Spiro, milord."

  "Well, Spiro..." Minos turned towards me with an unusually deferential expression. "This is the Lady of the Underworld."

  A starstruck expression crossed the boy's features. "Milady, it would be my greatest honor to be of service—-"

  "It would've been an honor," Minos acknowledged, "but sadly, milady appears dissatisfied with your place of business—-"

  I turned to him in shock, sputtering in horror. "I said no such—-"

  All three immortal judges-turned-bodyguards gestured to the table simultaneously, and it was at that moment I realized I had been defeated.

  I grudgingly took the chair Rhadamanthus had pulled out while Minos flashed a smile of courteous apology at the boy's direction. "It appears I have been mistaken." After a few more charmingly chosen words, Minos was able to send young Spiros away with his spirits restored, and when the ARM finally turned to face me—-

  The three men simultaneously started smirking, and I could only glower and glare. "Hilarious, guys. Absolutely hilarious."

  "You cannot say we haven't ever warned you, milady," Aecus pointed out.

  "Oh, puh-leez." Ever since I officially took the throne as LOTUS, these three had been on my back about my so-called bleeding heart. They were worried about how I could be taken advantage of because of it, and no matter how many times I told them I could be excessively mean if my position as Queen demanded it, the ARM simply refused to be convinced.

  I crossed my arms over my chest and shot the ARM my fiercest-looking scowl. "Let's be clear with one thing. I only agreed to sit down because it was the right thing to do. Spiros had done nothing wrong, and it would be unfair if I let him think otherwise."

  Minos cocked his head to the side. "Aeacus, Rhadamanthus - do you not think milady's words sound very much like the beating of a bleeding heart?"

  Grrr!

  "Stop messing with me," I growled, "or I'm warning you. Once I've reached my limits, I..."

  The three looked at me expectantly.

  "I...I am not someone you want to see angry!"

  Rhadamanthus dipped his head in acknowledgment. "No, indeed," he said gravely. "We do not wish to witness such a terrifying sight."

  "I'm being serious here," I growled. "I can be fucking mean when I'm angry."

  Rhadamanthus' brows shot up. "Milady has used the F-word! Such meanness!"

  Minos slowly shook his head. "Such display of meanness is...legendary." A moment of intense silence followed right after, and as the ARM slowly turned their gazes towards me...

  I made a face. "Hilarious."

  But this only earned me an additional ten seconds of smirks and snickers.

  "Come on, guys. Seriously. Do you really not think I should be with Hadrian—-"

  "Yes," the ARM answered in unison.

  "Seriously?"

  "It is as Lord Hades said, milady," Aeacus answered simply. "Persephone's counsel would likely speak undesirable words about you, and Lord Hades would just as likely lose his temper if he sees you the slightest bit affected."

  "I'm not that fragile," I protested.

  "It is true that you are the furthest thing from fragile and ladylike," Aeacus acknowledged.

  "Uh, that's not actually what I said—-"

  "But be that as it may, Lord Hades is fiercely protective towards you," the immortal judge-slash-vassal interrupted with a shrug, "and so it is best that we do as he bids."

  I wanted to keep arguing over this, but with Spiro coming back bearing a tray of drinks, I was forced to paste a smile on my lips and put a halt to our conversation.

  "May I pour tea into your cup, milady?" Spiro asked hopefully.

  "Yes, please, and thank you."

  The boy looked close to fainting, and while he really was too sweet for words, I was also on pins and needles for him to leave.

  The only reason my pending case before the Olympian High Court hadn't earned a single minute of airtime on The Morning Show with Iris & Friends was because Eunomia, the Goddess of Justice, had put into effect a media blackout on the whole thing. None of us were to speak about the case in public, and anyone caught violating her rule would be immediately made to help Sisyphus roll his boulder up a hill for a day.

  While the gag order was definitely to my advantage, it also meant I had to be extra discreet myself, and well...

  Let's just say keeping my mouth shut had never been a piece of cake for me, and it was an even bigger problem now, with how worried I was about Hadrian being all on his own while facing Persephone and her legal squad. Sure, I knew he was tough as nails and all, but—-

  "Tell me honestly..." I spoke as soon as Spiro was out of earshot, and something in my tone must've alerted them, with the ARM swiftly turning my way, their expressions sober.

  "I know Hadrian doesn't want me hearing things that could hurt me, but what about him? Is there anything Persephone could say that might hurt Hadrian? And before you even start thinking things - I'm not asking this because I'm feeling jealous or insecure. Well, okay, I do feel a bit of both, but more than that, I just want to make sure I can be truly there for Hadrian. I don't want him hurt—-"

  "I appreciate the concern, my love," a deep, gravelly voice murmured from behind, "but as you can now see for yourself, I've emerged from the meeting still in one piece."

  Chapter Two

  I can't believe we're doing this here!

  And yet it was indeed happening.

  We were still in the tavern, the ARM was looking rather stoic on a table just a few feet away from us, whilst I...

  I was f
lat on my back on another table, fingers gripping the edges as Hadrian pounded into my body with deep, forceful thrusts, and no one...absolutely no one was looking at us!

  Who could've thought one of Hadrian's powers as a natural-born Olympian included being able to make himself and whoever else he wanted invisible when on Mt. Olympus? And of all the things to use such powers for...who would've thought someone as sensible as the Lord of the Underworld would use them to get away with public sex?

  The part of me that wanted to be a respectable LOTUS was thinking this was a completely bad idea that could only backfire one way or another. But the part of me that was all slut woman, well...

  A moan slipped past my lips when Hadrian suddenly hauled me up, and my legs locked around his waist just as his mouth latched to my breast. He started suckling on my nipple, and a shudder rocked my body. All I could do was hold on to my husband's broad shoulders as his enormous cock drove harder and faster inside of me.

  "I'm about to cum," Hadrian rasped, and just hearing him say the words was like having something inside of me switch on, and all I could do was dig my nails deep into his back—-

  "Hadrian."

  My body convulsed around him, and Hadrian groaned, his hands tightening around the cheeks of my ass as he felt me cum. A moment later, and he was hammering into me harder and faster than ever, his cock filling me up with his hot, thick seed.

  SPIRO NEARLY TRIPPED over his own feet in his hurry to reach us, having seen Hadrian and I rejoin the others at the table after our, um, moment of "privacy". The boy might have been awestruck in my presence earlier, but with Hadrian, Spiro's reaction was at a whole new level of dazzled. He looked ready to kneel and worship at Hadrian's feet as my husband spoke to him, and as I watched the two interact, the term that the ARM had used earlier immediately came to mind.

  Legendary.

  It was how everyone seemed to think of Hadrian, and to be married to such a man...

  Hadrian caught me staring at him and raised a brow. "What is it?"

  "I was just thinking about Persephone," I confessed, "and how it would feel if I were in her shoes, with everyone knowing I was once married to the most incredible man...and everyone also knowing that man is no longer mine. It's a difficult pill to swallow to say the least, so I guess...it's understandable, why she's being bitter and vengeful—-" The ARM cut me off with their groans, and I stared at them in confusion. "What?"