Avowed (The Manipulation Trilogy Book 3) Read online

  Her words shock me. Abigail has been trying to get back with me for years, but she seems genuine. I give her a smile before pulling her into my arms.

  “Friends,” I agree. Pulling back from me, Abbi gives me a smile.

  “I’d like to get to know the woman who has finally caught your heart. Would you mind me getting to know her?” she asks, shyly. My situation suddenly hits me full force. I may not get to keep Ella. When she finds out everything I have to tell her she may leave me.

  It’s not anything I don’t deserve.

  “I’ll speak to her.”

  Kissing my cheek, Abbi gives me one last longing look before turning and walking away. As soon as she exits out the door my eyes seek out Ella. She’s surrounded by my family, now her family. Seeing the love my parents have for my beauty warms me inside. She truly belongs with us.

  She deserves love.

  Ella’s eyes clash with mine, fear lurking in the depths of her emerald ones. Frowning at the fear I see, I stride over to take her in my arms. She’s hesitant, her body coiled tightly, taut with stress.

  “Beauty?” I question.

  “I’m sorry,” she whispers.

  “What for?” I press my lips to her head, breathing in her unique scent, as I hold her tight to me.

  “I have a lot to tell you Damon. You need to hear me out. Please. I’ve wanted to tell you about Lydia for a while now. I’m so sorry I didn’t. I just... that was what I wanted to speak to you about yesterday before you left to speak to Leona.” Ella rambles, and a smile pulls at my lips. She’s nervous. My smile vanishes as quickly as it appeared. She has no idea what I need to tell her.

  “Shhh, baby. It’s okay. We’ll talk about it later. Now we just have to enjoy our reception.” Ella’s eyes widen at my words.

  “You mean you don’t want to get an annulment?” she asks, shocked. A scowl pulls down my lips.

  “No, Ella. I’ve told you, I’m keeping you. When will you believe me when I tell you that?” Tears glisten in her eyes.

  “You want to keep me?” Her voice hitches as she asks, like she thinks I could ever let her leave. I can’t. I tried to leave her, let her live a life she deserves, and it nearly destroyed us both. I fucking can’t let her go.

  I won’t let her go.

  “Forever,” I tell her honestly.

  “Can we leave? I need to tell you everything. I need you to give me a chance. Please?”

  I nod my head as my mum’s arms come around us both and engulf us in a warm embrace. I’ve always had a strong love from and for my family, but in this moment I’ve never been more thankful for them. They stood up for my wife.

  They proved to her she’s part of our family, and they love her as much as they do me.

  CHAPTER TWO

  September 27th 2014

  Ella

  The silence on the way back to our house is deafening. Damon has my hand gripped in his like a vice, refusing to release me. The silence has allowed me time to think, allowed me time to gather my thoughts, but also left me with too much time to panic. I can’t lose him. I really want him to forgive me but I’m not sure he will be able to.

  I have no idea where to start or what I should say, but I know I have to tell him everything tonight, before this marriage goes any further.

  He has a right to know.

  Pulling up to the house, Damon turns off the engine, and stays seated. We sit in silence for what feels like forever, but is probably only a few minutes, before he eventually removes the keys and opens the door. Standing, he shuts the door and makes his way around to me. My heart takes off.

  This is it.

  I could lose everything in a matter of an hour. I take deep breaths trying to steady my breathing as my palms begin to sweat. I need to keep calm if I’m going to get through this. I can’t let my panic take over. If I do, Damon might not understand everything I’ve done.

  Damon opens the door and offers me his hand, helping me out of my seat. He stands in front of me for a second, taking me in. I'm still in my wedding dress, but I’m sure I don’t look as put together as I have all day. No doubt my fear is evident on my face, my posture, and my frantic eyes. I find it hard to look in his eyes, scared of what I’ll see.

  Bringing his hand up to lift my chin, Damon gives me a gentle smile when I finally look at him. My shoulders slump as I see love shining brightly in his chocolate eyes. That one look gives me enough hope to believe we may actually make it through this.

  Damon already says he knows who I am and he knows my sister. I’m not sure how much he actually knows. I can only hope it’s not much, and that I have the chance to explain my reasoning, my love, and my regret.

  When he knows he has my attention, his hand slowly moves down my neck, caressing me. Shivers wrack my body as his palm continues its slow descent down my body. My heart races as he strokes down my shoulder, past my collarbone, the side of my breast, to my waist.

  Damon’s other hand comes up to rub soft circles on my baby bump, as he pulls me closer to his body with the hand at my waist. His eyes follow his movement, taking in every detail of the bodice adorning my dress, before his eyes flit back to mine.

  “You’re so beautiful,” he says softly. A lump forms in my throat, making it difficult to swallow. Tears fill my eyes as my bottom lips trembles. Damon lifts his palm to caress my cheek, and I turn my face into the embrace, praying this won’t be the last time I feel his touch.

  Waves of emotion roll through me, and a lone tear falls from my eye. I search his eyes, hoping he can see in mine how much I wish I could change things. Damon moves his mouth to mine in a firm kiss, pressing against my lips like he’s trying to reassure me.

  “It's going to be okay Ella. Nothing you tell me is ever going to change how I feel about you. Do you understand? I love you,” he mumbles against my lips, before pulling back a fraction, still close enough to my mouth that I can feel his breath skating in a soft caress against my lips. Cupping my belly he continues, “I. Love. You. You and our little girl are my whole world. Nothing else matters.” The words are said with such conviction that I can’t help but hope that they will be true.

  Damon bends and scoops me up, bringing an arm around my back and swooping under my knees, lifting me in his arms. I gasp in shock as he strides forward with me cradled against his chest. Damon grins at me before placing a chaste kiss at the corner of my mouth.

  “It is tradition,” he says. Walking us to the door, he unlocks it and crosses the threshold, his foot kicking it closed behind us. He gives me a gentle squeeze before placing me down on my feet, holding onto me for a second to make sure I’m steady on my feet, before walking over to the table and placing his phone, keys and wallet in the bowl. Shrugging out of his suit jacket, he walks over to the coat hooks and hangs it up.

  Damon pulls his shirt from his trousers, rolls up his sleeves, and removes his tie. My mouth dries, he’s so goddamn sexy. I just want to lick him from head to toe. His muscles contract with each movement, bulging in all the right places, and I know what he looks like with no clothes on. He turns to look at me once again, a smirk pulling at his lips. My cheeks turn pink at being caught ogling him.

  “So, Mrs. Hunt, what do you want to do now?” I shake my head to clear my mind of stripping him naked and tasting him like a lollipop. As much as I want Damon to take me to bed, we can’t. We need to talk. I wish with all my heart that I’d have pushed him to listen to me yesterday but I was afraid, and I can’t be a coward anymore.

  I have to tell him the truth.

  “We need to talk. You have to know the truth about me, but please can I change first? This dress is feeling tight, and I want to get a little more comfortable. Can you unbutton me please?” I ask, turning around and looking at him over my shoulder.

  Damon moves so he is standing behind me, his body heat soaking into my skin. He peppers soft kisses along my shoulder as he grasps my waist and pulls me back a step. His hands gently run up my sides and run along the hem of the sweethe
art neckline, leaving goosebumps in their wake. Slowly unbuttoning me, his thumbs trail down my spine with each inch of skin he exposes. The movement sends shivers down my spine, making my back arch slightly. It tickles, but in the best kind of way. My core clenches when I feel his lips follow the same path as his thumbs.

  I sigh when the dress is loose, and my aching breasts are finally free from the confining material. Gripping the front, I hold it up so that it doesn’t fall around my feet. Damon spins me around so I'm facing him. His brown eyes have darkened with desire, making my breath hitch.

  “Let it drop baby,” Damon says, hoarsely. “I want to see you.” I do as he asks and let the dress pool at my feet. Damon steps back so he can take me in, letting out an audible groan as he gazes at my lingerie. A white lace strapless bra, small lace knickers that barely cover me, and lace topped silk stockings.

  He visibly swallows hard, making my heart flutter. Closing the distance between us he lifts his hand and gently runs a fingertip over my bra, causing my nipples to harden at his soft touch. I watch as his eyes glaze over, clouding with need. I want nothing more than to give in to that need but I can’t. I need to tell him who I am now before I lose my strength.

  Taking a step back from him knowing I have to stop this before we go too far, no matter how much it kills me, I walk towards the stairs and head to our room, not saying another word. When I’m halfway up the stairs, I hear Damon’s footsteps behind me, making me pause, and I turn to face him.

  “Can I have two minutes please? I’ll be back down so we can talk. Can you wait in the lounge?” I plead. If he comes into the bedroom with me I don’t think I’ll have enough willpower refuse his advances.

  “I would really like to be the one who takes that off of you beauty. Maybe with my teeth.” He gives me a cocky grin before licking his lips. I clench my thighs together to alleviate the pressure I feel in my core. Nodding my head, I turn and run up the remaining steps and into the bedroom. I take some deep steadying breaths as I pull on my silk robe, wishing I could fast forward an hour, and get these confessions out the way.

  When I get back downstairs Damon has moved to the lounge like I asked. Walking in, I find him sitting on the chair holding a drink in his hand. Whiskey would be my guess from the amber colour. I wish I could have one too. I think I need all the courage I can find to get me through this.

  I move to sit on the chair opposite him, neither of us saying a word. Damon stares at me expectantly, waiting for me to speak first, but I don’t know where to start. All the quiet time in the car to get my thoughts together has gone out the window.

  When the silence becomes unbearable I look away, swallowing nervously before finally finding the courage to begin. My heart tries to pound its way out of my chest, my pulse racing, thumping deafeningly in my ears.

  “I always loved Lydia, completely idolised her. It was just Pops, Lydia and me growing up, so she was my role model. When Pops died she was all I had left, she was my whole world.” I pause to look into Damon’s warm chocolate eyes, taking a deep shaky breath. He gives me a small smile of encouragement. “She looked after me, became my parent in many ways. I annoyed her to no end some days, but she was always there. We fought on occasions but what siblings don’t?” Damon chuckles.

  “I can understand that. Spencer was the same with me.” I smile at him, not able to imagine him and Spencer fighting. They’re so close. My smile soon drops as I turn sombre.

  “She never left like my mum did. She was my rock. For years she acted as a parent. I never realised how hard it must have been for her, but she had to become a parent to an emotional sixteen year old at just eighteen years old herself. I can’t imagine how hard that was for her. In so many ways she gave her life up for me.” Tears fill my eyes as I remember how much she actually gave up for me. “She found a low paying job, kept a roof over our heads, made sure there was always food in the cupboards, and paid all the bills. She was strong like that, was able to take charge at a young age,” I say with a sigh. “When I finished school I found a job to help with the bills, but with my young age and no experience it didn’t pay much.”

  I look away from Damon, finding it hard to explain all this with him looking at me so intently.

  “We got by okay. We survived like that for a few years. A few months before she died,” I rasp out, my throat closing, making it difficult to speak. I take a deep breath as Damon leans towards me and hands me a bottle of water he must have collected whilst I was upstairs. I take it gratefully, and take a few small sips to ease my constricting windpipe before continuing. “Before she took her life Lydia found a new job working as a personal assistant. She was so excited. The pay was better and she kept telling me how we’d be able to do more fun things together with the extra money. Those first few months Lydia had this glow about her. She was really happy, happier than I had seen her for years.

  “After a few weeks of working there she told me she had met someone special. Her glow made her shine. She was always beautiful, but when she met this man, she had this aura about her that just made me burst with pure joy.

  “She never went into many details of her mystery man, except that she really liked him, and wanted it to work out with him. She went on a few dates with him and was in a great mood all the time. Then things began to change. I never really saw it at the time, but thinking back now I see it. She became secretive, moodier, and withdrawn. I didn’t know what to do, didn’t know how to help.”

  My tears spill over, streaming down my cheeks as I recall her stress in those last few weeks. I shake my head trying to keep my emotions at bay. I need to do this. I need to tell him.

  “Beauty,” Damon whispers. His voice is hoarse with emotion.

  “No, I’m okay.” I tell him. “Let me say this please.” He gives me a nod so I continue. “In the weeks leading up to her death she became more erratic. Not with me yet, but with little things. She’d get mad if I was late getting in, she’d be more stressed in crowded spaces. Just off. She wasn’t being herself, but I was so busy with my own life that I didn’t realise at the time. I didn’t see it all. I just shrugged it off and let her get on with it.”

  “A week before she–,” I can’t say it. It’s cutting me up talking about this. Damon notices my hesitance and nods, letting me know he understands how hard this is for me to speak about. “She became different towards me. I came home from work and she was getting ready for a date. She had that glow back. I sat in her room as she finished getting ready and I found her diary. Lydia was never bothered when I touched her things. Sure she’d moan and nag but she never really hated it. This time was different though. It was like a switch flipped and she went crazy, screaming at me to get out her room. She was really mad. I’d never seen her like that towards anyone, let alone me. It was a shock.” A sob rips from my chest. It hurts to remember what she became in those last few weeks.

  Damon quickly stands and moves towards me but I lift my hand up to stop his approach. I need to do this without him touching me. I need to say this and be strong. I gather myself enough to continue.

  “I just thought it was because she’d been writing about her mystery man, keeping him a secret. I don’t know why, I didn’t understand it, but I respected her enough to leave her room like she demanded. She came into my room not long after and apologised. She really was sorry. I think she was stressed about her date.” I look at Damon, hoping and praying that he wasn’t playing a game with her.

  “She left all happy and with a big smile, telling me not to wait up. Something happened though; something went wrong because she came back a mess. She was angry and hurt. I could see it.” I wipe my falling tears with my fingers, staring at the floor, not able to make eye contact with him.

  “A week later she was still sad, brooding around. I got off work and decided I wanted to try and cheer her up. She loved Chinese food so I rang her to see if she fancied a takeout and a movie, but I got her voicemail instead. Deciding to go ahead with my plan anyway, I headed to
our local fish and chip shop slash Chinese. I ordered her favourites and made my way home. I was just hoping she would talk to me, to open up.

  “As soon as I got home I knew something was wrong. It was too silent, eerily so. I went to find her, and when I got to her room everything was in place, but she was nowhere to be seen. I remember feeling my hairs standing on end when I called out to her and got no response. The bathroom door was locked but I couldn’t hear anything.” My breathing picks up speed as I relive what happened that day.

  “I banged and banged on the door, screaming at her to answer me, but there was no response. Nothing. Just silence.” Clutching my chest, I shake my head as more sobs tear from deep in my throat. “It took me a while to think about the bathroom door in my room. Both our rooms connected with a shared bathroom. I ran as soon as I remembered, racing to see she was okay.” My body starts to shake as my worst nightmare comes crashing to the forefront of my mind. I bury my face in my hands as visions of what I walked in on hit me.

  Damon moves to quickly take me in his arms. I let him for a minute, soaking in his strength before pulling back, standing and pacing the room.

  “There was so much blood. It was everywhere. I froze at first, breaking down right there on the bathroom floor that was covered in Lydia’s blood. I tried to save her. I called for help but I knew it was too late. She was gone, her body too lifeless and grey. She’d slit her wrists,” I cry, recalling every detail as if it were happening right this second.

  “My whole world was gone. I’d lost my only family member. I didn’t know what to do. I crumbled, broke down right there next to my dead sister. I couldn’t cope with the pain. I shut down, suffocating, drowning in pain. That night destroyed me. I don’t know how I survived, but I did. I woke up in the hospital and was released a few days later. Everything was a blur. Doctors, police, questions. I couldn’t keep up, it was too much. I blocked it all out. Three days later I was discharged from the hospital but I had nothing to go back to, no life left in me.” God this fucking hurts. The pain is as raw tonight as it was that day three years ago. I wrap my arms around myself, hugging myself in comfort.