Bad Patient: A Bad Boy Romance Read online

  "I can't even imagine. I think it takes a special person to do that sort of work," I said as I watched her face warm up a bit.

  "It was difficult, especially with the patients that were near the end. When they were going downhill fast there were usually a lot of signs and I would always be there with them until the end."

  "What kind of signs?"

  "Oh, you know, hallucinations, agitation, the death rattle. There's also this one behavior that I've seen in quite a few people where they stare up at the ceiling and repeatedly smooth the edge of the sheet ... over and over ... for hours or even days. It's sad because you can tell that they're already gone at that point and it's just a matter of time."

  "I've seen that before," I said as I looked down at my own hands. "I didn't realize what it was at the time, but I never forgot it."

  "Was it a relative?"

  "Yeah, it was my mother. My parents were in a car accident when I was a kid, we were all in the accident. My mother, my father and me. I was in the back seat and my parents were fighting in the front. They always fought and I would always just sit there by myself and pray for it to end. I hated it so much when they fought."

  "You were an only child?"

  "Yeah, no brothers or sisters and we moved around a lot so I never had any friends that I could really trust," I said as I looked back up into Jess's eyes. She had the kind of eyes I felt like I could tell anything to. Even though I barely knew her, I felt like I could trust her more than just about anyone I'd had any kind of relationship with since my parents had died.

  "So what happened after the accident?"

  "Well, my father was killed on impact and my mother was left in a coma. When she came out of it, she was taken to another hospital where she lived until she died. My mother's sister and her husband took me in and we would go visit her every weekend. And that's what she did towards the end - smoothing the sheets over and over.

  After she awoke from the coma, she was never the same. She never recognized me or even talked to me again, but in the end when she was staring and smoothing her sheets it scared me more than any of the rest of it had. I was just a kid that understand most of what was going on anyway."

  "I'm so sorry, Brody. That must have been really hard on you," she said as she put her hand on my arm. "My parents also died when I was fairly young and I know how hard it can be."

  "So, anyway, you were telling me about working in the ER," I said, changing the subject. I didn't want to dwell on my painful childhood and I wasn't interested in hearing my own stories anyway. I wanted to know about Jess.

  "Yeah, I was. Are you sure you're really interested in hearing about this? All we've been talking about is death and I thought that's what you're trying to avoid," she said with a laugh.

  "No, I am interested. Mostly I'm interested in you, though. It makes me feel better when you sit here and talk to me."

  She looked down at the tray of food for a few seconds then picked up a container.

  "I have some yogurt here if you're interested in that," she said as she held it up to me with a smile.

  "No, that applesauce really did the trick. If you don't feel like talking about it though that's ok. I just thought ..."

  "No, it's ok. It's not something I like to talk about much ... it's hard because I still ... it's still painful for me to think about. I was moved to the ICU after an accident in the ER. My husband was brought in by ambulance one day ... it was almost exactly a year ago actually. He had been involved in an accident on the highway, a semi truck carrying a load of rebar lost a strap and the entire thing came crashing down onto the highway. One of the bars went through my husband's windshield at an angle and down through his stomach. They removed the rebar at the scene but by the time they got him here he had already lost a lot of blood.

  I was on duty and saw him come in. They told me to leave the ER but I didn't listen. We were severely short staffed that day and I had been working on a little boy who had come in with a bee sting. I thought I was fine. I mistakenly thought I could do my job with my husband bleeding to death just a curtain away from me. But before I knew it the little boy had gone into cardiac arrest.

  I had given him an overdose of epinephrine and he died right there in front of me. One of the ER doctors was rushing my husband into surgery while another one was trying to revive this little boy and all I could do was stand there, shaking and crying. I fell apart on the job and I don't know if I can ever forgive myself for that.

  The next thing I knew I was waking up in one of the patient rooms near the ER. I had apparently gone into shock and they had kept me there for observation overnight. After I was released I went through quite a few meetings with the hospital administration. They wanted to keep me on not only because I had been the primary trauma nurse in the ER, but also because they knew that it was the extenuating circumstances that had been the real cause of the accident with the boy.

  They felt that the best course of action was to move me to a lower level nursing position in the ICU so I could start out slow and work my way back up. And now here I am, head nurse of the ICU," she said with a faint smile but with tears in her eyes. I wanted to put my arms around her and pull her into the bed with me but I knew that was ridiculous. She wasn't mine to hold.

  "I'm really sorry that happened, Jess, but it wasn't your fault. You can't blame yourself."

  "I know. It's been a year since I moved here and I've been pretty happy. It's really been a relief not to have to deal with emergency situations and I'm still able to feel like I can contribute and help, but I just don't know if I have it in be to be a nurse anymore. Not the way I used to anyway."

  "So, you don't think you want to go back to the ER?"

  "I don't know. When I think about it ... when I try to imagine myself there, I wind up with a sick feeling inside. I would never want anything like that to happen again."

  "But you're a human being, Jess. Nobody's perfect." I said as I looked down. I was starting to feel silly doling out advice when one of my hands was cuffed to the bed.

  Jess looked at me for a minute like she wasn't sure if she should ask what was on her mind, what had probably been on her mind since I got here.

  "Sounds to me like you might know from experience about making mistakes," she said as she looked down. I had a feeling that wasn't quite what she had wanted to say, but I didn't really know how to respond. Part of me wanted to tell her the truth but I knew it was too dangerous.

  "Yeah, well, I guess I've never been the brightest bulb in the box when it comes to making the right choice, as you can see by what I'm wearing on my wrist," I said as I rattled the handcuff that was attached to the bed.

  "Do you want to tell me what happened? I don't want to pry, after all, it's not really any of my business."

  "Oh you know; I was in the wrong place at the wrong time. I drank too much, and made some really bad decisions. I was flat broke, and I met a guy in a bar who told me I could make a lot of money quick. He said it was a sure thing, that he knew the layout of the place and the safe combination so I figured what did I have to lose. I had no idea it was my entire future, my entire life. He said he just needed a hand and it would only take a couple of hours so I followed him to this private island resort and before I knew it I was I was waking up in the ICU ... looking at you."

  "So did you know this guy was with the mob?"

  "No, I didn't, but I have to admit I don't know if that would've changed my mind much if I had known. The money was sounding pretty good and I wasn't thinking too straight. But now ... now I would do just about anything to go back and change what happened.

  I would never have done it if I'd known I was going to wind up here with a guard posted outside my door looking at a lifetime in prison for a crime I didn't even commit. In my mind the possibilities were that I would maybe go to jail for a little while if I was caught or wind up with a pile of dough, and the pile of dough won. But if I had known, I swear to God ....

  And when I think about the
rest of my life ... how it's all over now because of one stupid choice. No more chance of marriage, no kids, no house. I'm going to go to prison for the rest of my life because of one stupid decision that I made."

  "I'm sorry, Brody. I wish there was something I could do to help," she said with her eyes filling with tears again.

  Suddenly I didn't feel like talking anymore, because the more I talked the more I realized that I actually wanted all of it. The house and the kids and ... maybe even with someone like Jess.

  "I'm not really all that hungry anymore, Jess. Thanks for talking to me though. It really helped a lot, but I'm getting pretty tired now," I said as I look down at my hands. I didn't think I could take looking into her tear-filled eyes anymore. I felt more trapped than I ever had in my life and there was nothing I could do to comfort her or myself. If I didn't get out of this place my life really was going to be over.

  "Ok, Brody. I'll be back in to check on you in a little while," she said as she lowered the head of my bed down. Then she took the tray and left the room.

  7

  Jess

  As I left Brody's room I couldn't stop thinking about what he had just said. I couldn't help but identify with the feeling of being trapped and the results of a bad choice having been made. It didn't really matter if that choice was an accident, because no matter how much you wanted to you couldn't take it back.

  I went to the nurses' station to look through some charts on the computer, then called all of the nurses in my department and found one that agreed to take the night shift. Then, I quickly went around and checked on the other patients in the ICU. I wanted to be available to Brody if he needed me and I knew I was going to be stretched thin if I was the only nurse allowed in Brody's room throughout my shift.

  In the afternoon I accompanied one of the nurse's assistants into Brody's room, along with the cop who was on duty, and waited while he changed the sheets and cleaned the room. Then after everybody was gone, I changed Brody's dressing and looked at his chart.

  "It looks like you're scheduled for a sponge bath this afternoon," I said as I cleaned the wound and looked at it for any signs of infection.

  "Sounds refreshing. Especially if you're the one that's going to be giving me the bath," he said with a big grin on his face.

  I started to feel my face get warm and I was mortified to realize that I was blushing. This was my job and suddenly I wasn't able to keep my feelings in check. There was just something about him that made me feel giddy.

  I was startled to realized that my heart rate would elevate whenever I came anywhere near his room which wasn't a very good sign since I was going to be spending twelve hours a day with him every day for the next week. I really needed to keep up a certain level of professionalism.

  "Yes, Mr. Carmichael, I'm the one that's going to be giving you your bath."

  "Oh, we're back to Mr. Carmichael now are we?" he said as he grabbed his stomach like he had just been punched in the gut. "What happened to Brody?"

  "Alright, Brody," I said with a smile as I taped up the gauze on his rippled stomach.

  Come on, Jess. Hold it together. You're a professional nurse, I told myself, but I could still feel the color staining my face.

  "Ok, just relax. I'll be back in a second with the water," I said as I grabbed a basin and took it into the bathroom.

  "Is there anything you want me to do to get ready for you?" I heard him say from the other room.

  "No, I think I've got this covered."

  I looked at myself in the mirror as I filled up the basin and tried to plan out my strategy.

  Just don't look at his face. You can do this. You don't know this guy at all and you can't let him get to you. Just go in, wash his body really fast, and leave. Five minutes tops.

  I gripped the sides of the sink and took a few deep breaths, then carried the basin into the other room without looking him in the eyes once.

  "The water should be warm enough, but let me know if you need it hotter or colder. Now, I'm going to start with your chest and your arms so I'm going to pull your gown down. Here's a blanket to cover yourself with, if you'd like," I said as I unfolded a blanket and placed it over Brody's legs.

  "I'm perfectly fine," he said with a smile still plastered on his face. When I pulled the gown down off his shoulders and freed his left arm he put it behind his head. He looked like he was enjoying himself immensely and for some reason that made it even harder for me to focus.

  I pulled the gown out from under him and brought it down to just below his bandage, and left it there because his cuffed hand prevented me from removing it entirely. When my gaze moved back up from the gown I had a hard time not staring at his beautifully sculpted chest and it took me a second to remember what I was doing. I took a washcloth from the pile on the table and wet it with the soapy water then held it out to him.

  "You can use this on your face, and I'll put a towel down for you to dry off with."

  "It would be easier to do this without the handcuffs," he said as he took the washcloth and wiped his face down.

  "I can ask the cop to remove them, but I'm sure he'd insist on staying in the room."

  "Yeah, don't bother. I don't want him in here watching me get a bath. I'll suffer through it with the cuffs on," he said with a smile as he rubbed the wet washcloth all over his face and neck, and I just stood there like an idiot watching him. When he was done he handed it back to me and dried off his face, then put his arm back behind his head, smiling and looking like he couldn't wait to see what was going to happen next.

  I dipped the washcloth in the water again and pulled his arm down to his side, then ran the soapy water from his well-developed shoulder down his arm to his hand. I was amazed by his arms. They were long and kind of wiry, but they were also very muscular and strong. My face was starting to feel really warm again and I wished that the windows in this hospital opened more than two inches. I dried off Brody's arm and then ran the warm washcloth along his armpit and down the side of his body.

  "Is the water warm enough?" I asked, hoping to break the uncomfortable silence.

  "Yeah, that feels really nice, Jess," he said. I could feel him watching me as I worked but I was terrified of looking up into his eyes. I had given hundreds of sponge baths throughout my career and I didn't understand why this one was so different. I didn't understand why he was effecting me the way he was.

  He's just some guy, Jess. Just a guy that's handcuffed to the bed for crying out loud. But what if he's innocent ... I thought as I continued to get hotter under my scrubs.

  I barely knew this man that everyone was saying could be a dangerous criminal, and yet whenever I knew I was going to be near him my heart started racing. The minute I opened the door to his room my stomach would jump up into my throat the way it had when I was in high school whenever I saw a boy in the hallway that I had a crush on.

  I had been a long time since I had felt this way. I didn't understand how I could feel like this about someone I knew absolutely nothing about - other than what he had told me about the job at the resort and the story about his parents of course. But there was something about him, something about his stories and the way he talked and listened to me that made me want to trust him. I didn't care what the cops suspected. I didn't think Brody was mixed up with the mob.

  I washed one leg then moved to the opposite side the bed and took care of his other arm and leg. Then I rewet the washcloth and ran it down his chest. I watched the water glisten over the ripples of muscle on his chest and partway down his abdomen. When my eyes moved past the bandage to the gown gathered below I stopped. I dreaded having to pull the gown down any further. I knew where my movements were heading and I felt silly but suddenly I became incredibly shy.

  "Seems like you've had quite a bit of practice at this," Brody said. I jumped a little when I heard his voice and walked back to the other side of the bed to camouflage my reaction.

  "It's not usually my job, but yes, I have given quite a few. Mostly
when I was doing home health care and in my early months in the ICU," I said hoping the conversation would continue. The silence and suspense over removing his gown were just about killing me.

  "Well, it feels nice. I think you're doing a really good job," Brody said with a smile, his white teeth showing even though he still looked very weak. I was being ridiculous and I knew I just needed to finish my job. I grabbed the gown and pulled the upper half back up over his chest, then quickly, like pulling off a bandage, I pulled the bottom of the gown up and exposed what appeared to be the most enormous cock I had ever seen in my life.

  I turned back to the basin of water and stood there for a moment while I tried to catch my breath. As hard as I tried I could not turn back around and face Brody.

  "Why don't you use the railing on the other side of the bed and pull yourself over so I can wash your back.

  "If I didn't know any better, Jess, I'd say your face is turning a little red through that gorgeous caramel colored skin of yours. Are you sure this isn't your first time?" he asked in an incredibly sexy tone that made me want to disappear under the bed and never come out.

  "Of course not, Mr. Car ... er ... Brody. I'd like to wash your back now if you think you'll be able to hold yourself up on your side." I was so embarrassed I just wanted to get out of his room but I still had a ways to go before I was done with the bath.

  "Sure, maybe you could give me a hand ..." he said as he started to pull himself over.

  "Yes, I'm sorry, I didn't mean for you to do it yourself. I don't know what I was thinking," I said as I pushed his hip over so that he was laying on his side. I was acting like a teenager and I was ashamed of myself.

  I finished washing Brody's backside, then let him down easy so that he was laying on his back again, but now I was faced with the the dreaded area again. And to my complete horror, when I placed the wet washcloth over his penis he started to get hard.