Words Heard In Silence / Xena Uber Read online

  He sat up immediately. "Oh no, Miss Rebecca, I am fine. The fire was just so comforting."

  "It is nice. I must admit that I would not have been able to get it started if it had not been for one of your young men. The flue was stuck. He wrestled with it for quite a while before it came free. Then I am afraid he found himself covered with soot. He was quite the picture."

  "Which man was it?"

  "He said his name was Corporal Duncan Nailer."

  Charlie gave a knowing nod. "Duncan is a good boy. I assigned him to the stables to help with the horses. He was expecting to fight again after the Wilderness and I think he has resented me a bit for not allowing it, but there is something about him that is not quite right. He seems, I do not know, slow. I am told he is quite an excellent soldier, and certainly his record indicates that, but somehow I wanted to protect him a bit.

  "I noticed that, but I think it is just that little stutter he has. I am sure he has been tormented all his life because of that."

  "I know some of the men have commented. That is why I put him in the care of my holster. He is a kind gentleman who takes each young man and treats him like a son."

  Rebecca poured coffee, handing a cup to Charlie, and then she got up, and moved to the mantle. She paused for a moment then pulled the item down, tucking it behind her back. "Colonel, I have something for you."

  "Ma’am?"

  She turned, looking down at him. Then she removed the book from behind her back. "I found this yesterday and I thought you might like to read it."

  "Oh Miss Rebecca," He took the book, running his fingers over the soft leather cover. "I really cannot--"

  "Of course you can. You mentioned to me that you enjoyed philosophy, I am afraid I do not have any journals of that nature, but maybe you will enjoy this. It is a collection of poetry."

  "I am sure I will find it very enjoyable." He gave the davenport a pat with his hand. "I believe I would enjoy it more if you would allow me to share it with you. May I read a few pages?"

  "Oh that would be wonderful. Your voice is very soothing, it is perfectly suited for readings."

  Charlie laughed, a little louder than he should have. "I am sure my men would not agree with you, Miss Rebecca. But I would be delighted to read for you."

  Rebecca prepared her own coffee, and then got comfortable on the davenport next to Charlie. He smiled when she sat very close to him, turning beautiful green eyes to him in expectation.

  "Well," He cleared his throat gently. "Yes, let’s see here."

  Charlie glanced to Rebecca; she was relaxed with her eyes closed, and her hand resting gently on his leg. He had been reading for almost an hour when he noticed her breathing had gentled considerably.

  "Miss Rebecca?"

  "Hmm? Yes Colonel?"

  "Would you like to retire?"

  She sighed, "Well, as much as I hate to admit it, I am rather tired. I do believe that our lovely ride, took more out of me than I had planned."

  "Then dear lady, I will take my leave of you so that you may--"

  "Leave? You mean you will not be staying?"

  "I--"

  "Colonel, let us please put this behind us now. I offered you the use of my bed while you are here and I would think you would understand that is meant for every night and I should not have to invite you every evening."

  The Colonel could not stop the reddening of his cheeks; he just hoped it was not readily visible in the low light. "Yes Ma’am, I will remember."

  "Good. Now shall we adjourn upstairs?" She stood, offering her hand to Charlie. "I am sure we will both sleep very soundly tonight."

  Somehow, I doubt that my dear Rebecca. You have no idea the things you do to me when you lay so close at night. He shook his head and allowed himself to be led upstairs.

  Rebecca took her sleeping gown and went into her sitting room to change, leaving Charlie in the main room to get dressed for bed. He was quick about it, wanting to be in bed by the time the lady returned. He had just pulled the covers up when she came back in. He swallowed hard, when she passed in front of the window and the moonlight showed her body through the light material. Even in shadows and silhouette, her figure made him lose his breath. He was sure that if there were ever a time when he might be graced with actually laying his eyes upon her, his heart would simply beat out of his chest.

  Rebecca got into bed and rolled over to face him. "Good night, Colonel."

  "Good night, Miss Rebecca." He turned over and lowered the wick on the lamp, putting the room in near darkness, except for the moon light from the window. He nearly jumped out of his skin and the bed when he felt her touch his shoulder.

  "Colonel? I forgot to ask. How is your shoulder?"

  "It is fine, Miss Rebecca, really."

  "You are sure."

  "Yes Ma’am. I am definitely sure."

  "Sleep well, Colonel."

  He lay there listening to her breath, hearing the soft sighs and moans as she adjusted to get comfortable. He intentionally slowed his breathing and closed his eyes, trying to relax. He was nearly asleep when he felt it happen, she rolled over and curled up next to him. It was all he could do to keep from whimpering. Instead, he just took a deep, calming breath and prepared for a long night.

  Rebecca felt strong hands on her shoulders. Resting there, comforting her, making her feel safe. She could feel warm breath in her ear and on her cheek, soft lips caressing her neck.

  She closed her eyes, just letting all these pleasant sensations wash over her body. She could not stop the soft groan that left her lips. Her breathing picked up, lips grew dry as she pulled in deep breaths to try and calm her racing heart.

  "Rebecca……"

  "Oh……" She moaned, leaning back into the body behind her. Her hands traveled to the arms that encircled her waist from behind. She stroked the skin, realizing for the first time that they were both unclothed. The skin under her hands was warm and soft. The touch was gentle in a way she had never experienced before and her body was responding in kind.

  "So lovely……" The voice whispered in her ear, as soft lips tenderly kissed her neck and jaw.

  She closed her eyes, reveling in the feeling of the gentle touches and the soft words. She reached back, caressing the side of her lover ’ s face. She could feel short hair and smooth cheeks. She moaned again, when lips kissed the tender flesh of her palm. "Please……"

  The hands that circled her waist slowly moved over her body. One caressed her stomach while the other left blazing trails from her hip to her shoulder. Rebecca ’ s senses were on overload. She did not understand the way her body was reacting; she could feel her pulse racing and her stomach fluttering wildly. She also started to feel the warm, pulsing between her legs. "Oh God……" She gasped when she felt tender fingers, brush over her nipple, causing it to go painfully hard. She could swear it was fire running through her veins, but it was delicious in its intensity. She did not know what she wanted exactly, but she knew she did not want this to stop.

  "So soft……" The deep voice burred in her ear, as hands continued to roam her body, touching her in ways that she did not know were possible.

  Rebecca felt as if she would die from want. She wanted to turn around and face her lover; she wanted to know who it was making her feel so wonderful. Slowly she turned, and then suddenly her lover was gone.

  Rebecca’s eyes opened, her breathing ragged her body still responding to the dream. She shifted to try and dampen some of the feelings coursing through her. When she did, she realized she was in Charlie’s arms, held close to the strong body. Her first reaction was to move away, so she would not disturb the Colonel, but she could not force herself to do it and she ended up moving closer, allowing herself to find comfort there. She did not understand all the things that were in her mind. All she knew was at this very moment she was warm and safe.

  Charlie laid quietly in the big bed, listening to Rebecca’s breathing slow to that deep, regular tempo that indicated sleep. As she had each night
before, she rolled to face away from him, cuddling into his arms. He rolled onto his side and curled around the smaller woman, sheltering her in his arms, comforting her sleeping form with the heat of his own body. The aroma of her hair filled his nostrils with the memory of lilacs. Slowly, he drifted into sleep.

  Slowly, he ran his hands over her slender form, caressing the curve of her arm, the sweep of her back from shoulder to that lush flaring of her hips and the soft curve of her nether cheeks. Slowly, he traced the line of her spine through the thin fabric of her nightgown, clinging to her warm body. His hands brushed her silken hair from her slender neck. Slowly, using a touch that was barely there, he began tasting the smooth, soft skin at the base of her neck, across her shoulders and up to the tender spot behind her ear. The pressure of his breath on her skin was almost more profound than the touch of his lips.

  He gathered her deeper in his arms, stroking soft circles on her firm stomach, sliding his hands over the sweet swell of her hips and up the front of her thighs. Her head rested on his right shoulder, and that lucky arm curled around her body, the tips of his fingers lightly stroking the tops of her breasts through the thin gown, venturing lower and lower until they just barely swept over hardened nipples.

  As he continued to stroke and caress her, the nightgown seemed to melt away. Her silken skin lay under his fingers, the palms of his hands, his lips. Tenderly he tasted the skin of her neck and shoulders, the elegant lines of her shoulders and spine, the fullness of her firm derriere, then turned her towards him and sampled the silk of her breasts, the planes of her belly. He worshipped her body with his hands and lips, this tongue and very gently his teeth. He breathed her name like a prayer "Rebecca."

  He woke suddenly. His arms were around her, her hands lay over his own, affirming the tender grip he had on her. His heart was pounding, his unbound nipples pressed against her shoulders through the cotton of his nightshirt and the flannel of her gown. The heat in his belly was trying to consume him. Though her touch was gentle, it was if she had placed shackles on his wrists, binding his arms around her own body. He pressed his forehead against the back of her neck and sighed softly into her hair. The rest of the night was spent suspended in this most exquisite torture.

  Chapter 5

  Monday, November 7, 1864

  Charlie rose before sunup. This night had been both better and worse than the preceding ones. Rebecca was beginning to invade his dreams as well as his heart, and the results were enough to put the usually even-tempered Colonel into a serious state of melancholy.

  He gathered his clothing, pulling on his breast wrap, shirt, trousers and coat. The rest of his clothes he bundled under his arm. Barefoot, he hiked back to his command tent, relishing the cold almost as if it were some sort of self-inflicted penance.

  At this hour, the bathing area was always deserted. Charlie posted the sign that indicated the bath was in use, and then quickly submersed himself in the cold stream. A rough shave left him with a small nick in his chin, the price of his own shaking hand. Whether the trembling was from the cold or from his memories of the previous night was not a question that Charlie wanted to look at too closely.

  He prepared to don his day uniform –– the outer shell of an officer. A wry, bitter smile played around his lips as he donned the undergarments that hid his true gender and added a certain amount of padding to emulate the appendages of a man in his tight britches. One more piece of the fraud. Ah, Miss Rebecca. When I wear the trappings of a man, I AM one to you. You flirt, you tease and I respond as any good gentleman would. Yet divest me of my symbols and appearances, let me stand before you as a woman, and I am just a sister, safe and trustworthy. Perhaps I represent the best of both worlds to you –– a charming masculine companion and a safe bed partner. I wish you understood what you are doing to me, dear lady, but I can never explain, can I. Charlie put on his clothes for the day, and with them, his role as the committed Colonel.

  He settled at his desk. It was time for his usual morning routine, reading and writing the dispatches, attending to the paperwork of command. Polk was due back today. With a little luck, his second in command may have found some cigars. His own stock had been stolen in the brush up at Brandy Station. The afternoon would be spent going over the supplies issues and planning the things needed to ensure secure winter quarters for the men.

  The morning dispatches included a telegram from Sheridan. It was terse, as usual, but exactly what Charlie needed to hear.

  Permission granted. Negotiate fees. NMT 100 / month. Walker arrives Wednesday.

  Well, first things first. The daily dispatch to headquarters had to be written and posted with the riders. He had established a chain of outposts along the way so that communications between them could be expedited beyond the terse communications enabled by the telegraph system. Post riders changed horses every hour, and thus could cover about 20 miles an hour instead of the more sedate six or seven that was necessary if you maintained the same mount all day.

  Nov. 7, 1864

  Outside of Culpeper, Virginia

  Lieut. General Philip H. Sheridan

  Department of the Shenandoah

  Dear General Sheridan

  As discussed, Mistress Gaines has consented to allow the 13th Pennsylvania to winter over on her property. I will immediately negotiate terms for her, and assume that we will issue demand script for the 100 dollars per month for November through March, as is customary. Considering the economic conditions in the area, I am certain that this will represent a welcome influx of income for the area.

  I further assume that you have given Polk the necessary budget for setting up winter quarters. If not, please forward such information to me with the next dispatch.

  As is policy, we will seek to build positive relations with the local civilian population. This area has been less affected in terms of the condition of the land and facilities by the war than most other sections of northern Virginia that I have seen. It may provide a basis for beginning the re-constitution of our nation. As such, I will follow the guidelines set down by the President and General Grant for reconstruction of relations. It is my expectation that our mixed troops will be successful in reaching out to the civilian population.

  Thank you for assigning Dr. Walker to our regiment again. She is from this area and will be key to our efforts to form effective relations with the local civilian population. As usual, the 13th Pennsylvania will extend what support we can in terms of labor, medical access and interaction to the community.

  I must report a sad event within our forces. Major Montgomery, who has led one of the 13th Penn. companies since the Regiment was created, has been badly injured in a riding accident. The injuries include a severe head trauma and we are unable to predict the outcome at this time. I have written to his family, informing them of his condition, and will continue to monitor and advise you and his family of his status.

  Integration of the forces from the remnants of the 49th Ohio into this regiment continues at a slow, but reasonable pace. I am confident that our forces will be at full strength and working effectively as a team by the spring campaigns. The decision to distribute the men within the existing companies appears to have been effective.

  We begin the process of settling into winter quarters immediately. I expect to be ready for winter inspection, no later than the 15th; assuming funding and resources are provided promptly.

  Cordially

  Chas. Redmond

  Regimental Colonel

  13th Pennsylvania Light Cavalry

  Once the necessary paperwork was filed, Charlie slipped into his old work clothes, intending to take a run through the extended grounds before the lunch time mess meeting with officers and the afternoon of planning with Polk. Most of the men thought their Colonel’s habit of regularly running long distances was strange. Although he had tried, Charlie had never found a running companion. He found that it provided two benefits that they would never understand. It helped him keep his body weight down, his
wind up, and his body profile more like that of a man’s. Second, he had found, quite by accident, that if he stayed more muscular and exercised intensely and regularly, it seemed to stop his courses. When he stopped exercising, his body resumed the normal monthly cycle of a woman.

  Running alone did present certain risks. Were enemy scouts to find a regimental colonel without escort, they would attempt to capture or kill him in a heartbeat. When he ran, he dressed as a regular trooper, with hobnail boots, britches and a short, belted tunic. Unlike his officer’s uniform, with its skirted, double-breasted frock coat, this uniform left nothing to the imagination. Charlie made sure that in every way, he presented the profile of a man.

  Charlie set out for a long run, heading west away from the encampment. He passed north of the main house, behind the stables and close-in paddocks, across an old hump-backed bridge over Gaines Run and into the western pasturelands on the far side of the pond. After several days of not running, it was a welcome relief, letting his body relax into the old rhythms, his eyes became his sentinels, watching for anything out of the ordinary, and freeing his mind to deal with the problems of the day. By the time he completed his circuit, passing over the log footbridge south of the pond, and back up across the bottom of the back lawn to the stables, he had settled his mind to the task of planning for the winter camp, shoving the dream and the reality of the previous night to the back of his mind. For a while.

  Richard Polk and his detachment rode into camp just as Charlie returned from his run. "Polk! Good to see you. Meet me in my command tent as soon as you can. We are wintering over here." Ah. A distraction. Something else to think about other than Rebecca and last night’s dreams.

  Charlie dunked his head in a bucket of water, and then hurried off to meet Polk.

  Polk walked into the command tent. "Greetings oh fearless commander. I bring gifts from the great warehouse at headquarters –– more cigars. And a small keg of that brandy you like so much." Polk’s sense of sarcasm was irrepressible. With that cheerful greeting, Polk pulled up a small campstool and perched on the other side of Charlie’s field desk. He pulled a portfolio out of his dispatch case and spread the papers in front of him. "All right, I started by chewing that greedy ass at supply out royally for sending us uncured leather boots. We went downhill from there. But after two days of haranguing him and personally going through the supply depot and selecting what we needed, I expect a supply train to show up before the end of the week." Both men gleefully opened the small box of cigars, lit up, savored the first taste of the fulsome smoke and set to work.