Hope for Her (Hope #1) Read online

  "No, of course I do." I leaned over and kissed him on the cheek. "You just don't seem comfortable with me meeting them."

  "No, it's not that. I haven't seen my sisters in a few months. I don't know how they're going to react."

  "React to what?" I sat back waiting to hear what I already knew. Jessica's conversation was running on a recorder in my mind.

  "Last time we were together, it was kind of tense. We made up over the phone, but I haven't seen them since."

  "What happened last time?"

  "Oh, you know, family crap. It's going to be fine." He squeezed my leg as we pulled into the stadium.

  The parking pass allowed us to drive up close to the stadium. We parked the car and walked through the stadium gates. The noise of the crowd's enthusiasm abated my nerves a bit. I figured we were at a ballpark, America's pastime.

  What's the worst that can happen?

  We headed into the elevator up to the suite of seats in the middle deck. When we found the right suite, Josh pulled me aside and held my wrist; I wanted him to hold me, give me a moment of his attention. I needed some reassurance to help calm my nerves. I needed to hear how he felt about me.

  Instead, he looked me up and down, as if inspecting an inanimate object. He brushed my hair away from my face and straightened my shirt. He rubbed my lips with his thumb, nodded and grabbed my hand. His lips brushed against my earlobe, but as I leaned into him, he whispered a warning, "Be yourself,” then he turned away and dragged me into the suite after him.

  We walked into a chaotic scene of flashing lights, moving colors, cheers, and laughter. Fifteen people stopped, turned, and watched us as we entered. I held onto Josh's arm tighter than intended, and he adjusted to get me to loosen my grip. Four kids, all under the age of eight, ran over to Josh and attacked him. He leaned down to embrace them, but it resulted in him letting go of my hand as they clamored for Uncle Josh’s attention.

  I was jealous.

  A few people returned to the game, but two of the women in the room headed in my direction.

  I stiffened at the sound of my name.

  "You must be Carrington," a tall blonde with hazel eyes said as she gave me a squeeze on my shoulder. I flinched but hoped she didn’t notice. The smirk on her face confirmed she did. An amused expression spread across her face. "My name is Amanda, and this is Erin."

  Erin stood in front of me; she gave me an awkward wave, and I waved back. Both sisters stood taller than me and taller than Josh. They shared the same blond hair, but Erin's eyes took on an unnatural green tint. They were both dressed in conservative pantsuits, designer labels I was sure. Amanda's suit was fitted to her frame, but Erin appeared uncomfortable, and her ill-fitting clothes made it worse. Made her look harsh and out of place. I imagined she would have been more comfortable in jeans and a t-shirt. I looked down at my jeans and fitted wrapped shirt and felt as uncomfortable as Erin appeared.

  "Nice to meet you both," I said to Amanda, "Josh has told me a lot about you."

  Amanda smirked. She knew I was lying. Strike two.

  Josh made it off the floor and introduced me to the kids before his sisters could interrogate me.

  "Okay, you guys, settle down. Carrington, this is Brian Jr., Aaron, Jason, and this beautiful creature here is Allyson." The little girl blushed from head to toe.

  "Hi guys."

  They all said or waved hello and then went back to watching the game. Except for Allyson. She grabbed her uncle's hand and had no intention of letting go.

  Possessive little girl.

  Josh gave his sisters a hug.

  "I'm happy you could make it down," Amanda said to Josh.

  "I missed y’all." Josh’s voice trailed off as Amanda's attention turned back to the field.

  The game had started.

  "Let's grab something to eat," Josh said as little Allyson dragged him to the food. The suite included eighteen seats of chairs upfront and a full bar and serving area in the back. The buffet spread included traditional stadium food—hot dogs, nachos, and hamburgers—but in upscale versions. We grabbed a little bit of everything and found a seat near the bottom of the suite seats. Allyson remained at her uncle's side the whole time.

  Whenever Amanda's husband came up to bat, she quieted the entire suite, but Brian grounded out to second the first time and struck out two more times. By the seventh inning stretch, Tampa Bay led by eight runs.

  I grew bored of the game, and Josh focused on entertaining his niece. I got up to go to the bathroom, and when I came back out, I sat near the back.

  I watched Amanda work the room. She was like all my friends, superficial and naïve. She played the player's wife role well. On the other hand, Erin intrigued me. I watched her during the game, catching her expression. She suppressed a smile whenever her brother in law messed up. She enjoyed her sister's embarrassment when Brian came up to bat, and the crowd booed him.

  Amanda married her husband after graduating from FSU with a degree in business. She graduated with honors and posed a great head for business.

  Brian Burkett, drafted out of high school, played three years in the minors and during his first season in the big leagues, he met Amanda. He lived up to every bit of his hype ... for two years. Over his eight-year career, he spent time on three other teams and had been suspended for steroid use for a fifty-game stint. This year, his well-paid and busy PR consultants coined it his reemergence with his original team—his final chance.

  Josh characterized him as a lying, cheating, asshole, but his sister liked being the wife of a major league baseball player, so it worked for them.

  The four kids belong to her, three boys and one girl. The seven-year-old wore glasses and appeared shy, the exact opposite of her mother. Josh paid particular attention to her.

  All of the Griffins seemed to had issues.

  ***

  Joshua Elijah Griffin, IV

  Amanda pulled me over to the side.

  "She is cute." She failed at keeping the sarcasm out of her voice.

  "Yeah."

  "You could have told us you were into the exotic these days," Amanda said trying to tease me.

  "What exotic—she's from Texas."

  Carrington watched her interact with my nephews. They showed her the stadium and explained the game. She smiled and gave each one equal attention.

  "Be nice to her. I like her," I said.

  "I am always nice," Amanda said and giggled at her joke. "How are you? You look good."

  "I'm fine. Haven't had a drink all semester, no drugs, no fights, and I am actually going to class."

  "Good for you, but you know that's not what I meant."

  "What did you mean?"

  "Have you talked to Dad?" she asked.

  "He calls, I answer. He's stopped by the house once or twice." I grabbed a bottle of water and took a big gulp. "I’m sure he is checking in with all my professors and has Randolph and Jackson watching me like a hawk twenty-four seven."

  "For a man, you can be so dramatic." I tilted my head and looked at my sister. To anyone on the outside, she was the perfect player’s wife. Her life of nannies, assistants, and regular spa days agreed with her, but to me she looked tired. She'd mastered a fake smile and had it plastered on her face at all times. You would never know her husband made her life miserable.

  Erin turned back and I waved her over. She joined us.

  Amanda spent a lot of time trying not to look tired and miserable, whereas Erin wore her misery on the outside for the world to see.

  "She is so beautiful, Josh.” I nodded.

  "What's she doing with you?"

  "Well, you know, I am somewhat of a catch."

  "She's different than your other girlfriends."

  "Different how?"

  Amanda had joined us again.

  "Yeah, Erin. Different how?"

  "Well, you know, she's smarter than your usual girls."

  "Erin, you're an idiot," Amanda said and laughed while walking away.

&n
bsp; I turned to Erin, and her eyes showed a tiny glint of sadness, but she smiled and shook her head. I gave her a hug. She hugged me back and held on. I let her. Erin hated herself for one reason. She wanted to be Amanda so much; she couldn't move on with her life.

  "How are you?" I asked my sister. "How's work?"

  "Work is fine. Dad is fine."

  "I didn't ask."

  "Serious, Josh. Don't be so paranoid. Dad maybe checking up on you, but that's only because he cares about you. He wants you to succeed this time."

  "Did he say something to you?"

  "No, he doesn't talk to me about you." Erin bit her lip.

  "What?"

  "He's not going to like your new girlfriend." Erin stated this fact without hesitation, and I turned to face her. "But she really is gorgeous, I love her skin."

  I shook my head as Erin took her seat.

  Erin worked for one of my dad's companies as an accountant. She spent the most time with my father, even though Amanda was dad's favorite. Erin tried everything to get Dad's attention, but not being pageant beautiful like Amanda or a royal screw-up like me left her with few options. She had her own accomplishments: valedictorian in high school, top of her class at FSU undergrad and business school. While Amanda and I were a wreck when my mom died, Erin was a rock. Dad relied on her during that time, and she thought she finally had Dad's attention. It lasted until Dad found the second Mrs. Griffin a year later.

  My dad's relationship with all his children had a unique twist. He adored Amanda, he tolerated Erin, but he despised me.

  While Amanda and Erin, both, appreciated and craved my dad's attention, it was different for me. The more attention my father paid me just amplified his disappointment when I screwed up.

  And I always screw up.

  ***

  Carrington Olivia Butler

  Amanda came over to speak to me. I plastered a smiled on my face as she approached.

  "How long have you been dating my brother?" Amanda asked.

  "About a month."

  "How did you meet?"

  "In the quad, and we have a class together."

  “You ever dated someone like Josh before?” I scrunched my face, but she didn’t notice.

  Amanda peppered me with questions but interrupted my answers by cheering for her husband's team. My vague answers didn't bother her; she wasn't listening.

  That was the extent of her interrogation. What had I been worried about?

  After the last inning, the suite emptied quickly.

  We gathered our stuff and headed down to the player's locker room.

  The closer we got to the ground floor; the stiffer Amanda stood. She fidgeted with her clothes and her eyes darted back and forth between kids, her sister, and me. I found it strange. She seemed nervous to see her husband.

  As soon as he walked out of the locker room, I realized why.

  Chapter Thirteen

  Carrington Olivia Butler

  Brian Burkett exploded from the locker room as if he scored the game-winning grand slam home run. He seemed oblivious to the eight-run loss. He rushed up to Amanda, grabbed her around the waist, and kissed her hard on the lips.

  Amanda's face stained red as she kissed him back while trying to push him off of her. He bent down and hugged his boys one at a time, but he only patted Allyson on the head. He kissed Erin on the neck in a gesture I though seemed a bit intimate for a sister-in-law and brother-in-law.

  The look Amanda shot them made me think she thought the same thing.

  When Brian finished administering attention on everyone else, he turned toward Josh and me. I didn’t think he noticed Josh, but he made a beeline for me. Josh wrapped his arm around my waist and pulled me back as if possessive gesture, but it didn’t help. Brian did not care that I was with Josh. He reached for my hand before I offered. I felt like a rope in a weird tug-of-war between Josh and Brian.

  "Joshie, who do we have here." He spoke to Josh, but stared at me.

  "Brian, this is my girlfriend, Carrington."

  He leaned over and took my hand, laced his fingers with mine, and brought them up to his lips—that he licked—before kissing my hand all while holding my gaze. It was subtle and a chill shot through me. Josh dropped his hand from my waist. I guess it wasn’t that subtle.

  "Seriously, what is a beautiful woman like you doing with my scruffy brother-in-law?" My creep radar flashed red.

  "Brian," Amanda said.

  "Oh, I'm teasing the kid." Brian patted Josh on the head. The same gesture he used for his daughter. "Good to see you, Josh. You look rested."

  "Great game," Josh said. He attempted to sound condescending, but it came out sounding bitter, and Brian ignored him anyway.

  "Carrington, where are you from?"

  He waited for my answer, staring me deep in the eyes. I turned to Josh for help, but he and the rest of his family seemed occupied with something else, ignoring the obvious inappropriate behavior of Mr. Burkett.

  "I'm from Dallas, Texas."

  "I love Texas girls," he laughed.

  Amanda walked over and pressed herself against Brian. “Baby, we have reservations, you ready?”

  He kissed my hand again, and his eyes lingered on mine before letting go. He headed to the parking lot, snatching Erin's keys from her hand while slapping her on the ass.

  We followed.

  "He seems a little over-the-top," I said to Josh as we climbed in his car.

  "He's always like that. Ignore him."

  "Kind of hard to. He demands attention."

  "Yeah, some girls get off on that," Josh said. My face grew warm, and my brain hurt as I tried to figure out how Josh allowed this man to hit on me while he stood there doing nothing.

  "I don't get off on that. It's obnoxious."

  He threw me a look like he didn’t believe me.

  #

  At dinner, I ended up sitting between Brian and Josh. The seafood place stuffed bodies into every available space, and I found myself closer to Brian than I wanted.

  Amanda took this opportunity to huddle up with Josh. Her expression remained stern and focused while he bit his lip and shook his head a lot. I tried to listen, but my focus split between eavesdropping on Josh's conversation and fending off Brian's attention.

  The more I tried to ignore him, the harder he worked to get my attention.

  "Tell me, Carrington. Does Josh have any idea how to treat a woman like you?"

  "Josh does fine."

  "You should be treated more than fine."

  I banged my knee against Josh to get his attention, but he ignored me.

  I waited for Josh to intervene as his brother-in-law practically groped me under the table. With Amanda actively ignoring us, I was on my own.

  "As fine as you treat your wife," I whispered in his ear.

  "No." He leaned back and flashed a wink at his wife while squeezing my thigh under the table. "I'd treat you better than my wife. Josh has no idea."

  "No idea about what?"

  “How fucking hot you are, my ebony princess,” he growled near my ear, and if I wasn’t so disgusted, I would have laughed in his face.

  His hand traveled further up my thigh. I grabbed it, pushed it away, and shifted toward Josh.

  "Josh?" I yelled to get his attention.

  "What?"

  Brian turned away from us.

  "If you don't say something to your brother-in-law, I’m going to."

  "Don't worry about it. He's like that with everyone."

  I grabbed Josh’s arm, digging my nails in as I spoke. “You’re really going to just sit there while your brother-in-law gropes me under the table. Maybe you get off on that?”

  "Don't be dramatic, Carr. He's messing with you. We'll head out in a few."

  In most situations, Josh craved control.

  Yet, when he wasn’t in control, he reacted the exact opposite.

  He had a habit of sitting back and observing uncomfortable situations as they unfolded in front
of him, like tonight and at the frat party. It was like he got a sadistic pleasure out of it. He sat back and watched, like he expected people to disappoint him, even though he could do something about it.

  I pushed my chair back and headed to the bathroom.

  "Carrington," Josh yelled after me, but I continued.

  I found the bathroom and sat in the last stall with my head in my hands.

  How pathetic am I to hide out in the bathroom?

  I cleared my head and shook it off, but when I came out, Amanda stood at the sink reapplying her makeup. The heat in my cheeks returned.

  "Hey, Carrington. You okay?" The plastic smile on her face made my skin crawl.

  "I'm fine." I washed my hands and studied her in the mirror.

  "Don't worry about Brian. He’s just a big flirt," she said.

  The whole family was in denial.

  "Can you tell Josh to meet me at the bar?"

  "You know, since our mother died two years ago, Josh has had a hard time. But I can tell he likes you. He seems happy."

  "Your mother died two years ago?"

  "Yes, didn't Josh tell you?" she asked.

  "No."

  "Well, he hasn't wanted to be around the family much. I think it's harder for him. They were close."

  "I'm sorry."

  "Why don't you come back to the table," she suggested as she took my hand. "I'll make sure Brian backs off."

  She didn’t give me a chance to respond as she pulled me out of the bathroom.

  We headed back to the table, and before I sat down, Amanda whispered something into her husband’s ear. He got up and joined the people at the next table that seemed excited about the opportunity to kiss his ass.

  I shook my head and turned to Josh. He avoided my gaze.

  The whole Griffin family dynamic seemed so off, but I bet his mother’s death played a role in creating that.

  Chapter Fourteen

  Carrington Olivia Butler

  Whatever Amanda whispered to Brian worked. He never returned. Soon, Josh and I excused ourselves and left, but my relief was short-lived and was soon replaced with anger and pity for Josh.

  We walked out to Josh's car in silence. He didn't take my hand. He didn't open the car door. It took him much longer than necessary to make his way around to his side of the car.