Hope for Her (Hope #1) Read online

  Our first time going out ritual involved hair, makeup, the proper outfit, two bottles of wine, and a bottle of tequila. Melinda's brother, a senior at FSU, dropped it off at the dorm before he headed out for the night. We drank the wine first. When we worked ourselves into a good buzz, we broke open the tequila.

  "You didn't tell me who invited you to this party. PKP is my boyfriend’s fraternity," Jessica said.

  "Some guy in my Calculus class." I flipped through my closet trying to find an outfit that would deliver the right message.

  I needed the lay of the land before I arrived. I figured with so many people; I needed to keep them in two different parts of the house.

  Oh yeah, and not get caught.

  "How many people are at these parties, anyway?" I asked.

  "Oh, it will be wall to wall. Sweaty bodies pressed up against each other the whole night."

  I fell on my bed shoulders slumped. Who was I kidding? This never worked on television. I pictured the Friends episode where Phoebe dated two guys. She had fun, but it left her exhausted.

  I reached over and grabbed the tequila bottle. I took a shot and got dressed. By the time we started walking toward fraternity row, I had forgotten my nerves, and by the time we made it to the frat house, I had formulated a brilliant plan. Hook up with the first guy I saw.

  Josh's whole adorable and needy thing tugged at my heart. Jackson's body awakened other things. He was hot; no other adjective existed to describe him. I just wasn't sure who to root for.

  What should have been a ten-minute walk to fraternity row took a long time. We waited for Melinda's date for twenty minutes in the student union. We lost another thirty minutes partying at the wrong fraternity house. We found the right house and waited for Jessica's boyfriend to come and get us because the line to enter snaked down the lawn and into the street. It was the hottest party in town.

  As we entered, the smell of sweat hit me in the face, and the dim lighting made it hard to see through the fog. With the music thumping and lights flashing, it gave the impression of a rave and not a house party. When I surveyed the crowd, faces blended together along with swaying bodies. The loud music vibrated in my chest, and I suddenly regretted taking my last shot.

  I grabbed Jessica's shirttail, put my head down, and followed her into the center of the house. We approached the steps, which led to a loft over the back part of the grand room. Halfway up the stairs, I spotted Josh coming down. I hid my face and turned and found Jackson, hanging over the railing, scanning the crowd. I lowered my head and hid behind Jessica before he spotted me. Jessica continued up the stairs, and I froze. Jackson’s megawatt smile appeared and disappeared a second later, when Josh reached out and pulled me into his arms.

  ***

  Joshua Elijah Griffin, IV

  I decided not to stress. Our first conversation ended in disaster, but she was right. Inviting a girl on a first date to a party smelled of insecurity. She intimidated me. No, if I was completely honest with myself, dating Carrington scared the shit out of me.

  I helped the other brothers prepare for the party and somehow my date became the pre-party topic of conversation.

  "You have dated a girl, before," Kevin said, grinning from ear to ear at his own joke. Kevin went to Brentmore, too. Graduated a year before Jackson and me.

  "Shut up, man." I pushed him away and moved the table into the other room.

  The brothers had gathered in the main room, putting away the fragile stuff and clearing out the furniture in preparation for the party. During rush, the parties started at crazy. If by the end of the night the police weren't called, it was considered a good night.

  "Guys, wait until you see her. She's beautiful." I smiled when I thought about her.

  "She's just a girl, Joshua," Kevin said. "Flash her your family crest, and she'll drag you upstairs herself."

  "It's not like that. I like this girl."

  I was a little apprehensive about bringing Carrington here since PKP was a predominately white fraternity. We’d had minorities pledge in the past, but there were not any in the current class. Jackson's teammates hung out at the house a lot, and our parties welcomed everyone, but I wasn't sure how the brothers would respond to someone dating an African American girl. There was also the possibility that one of them would want her for himself—after all, Carrington was hot.

  "Come on guys, stop teasing our boy here," Jackson said putting me in a headlock.

  "Jackson, which unsuspecting freshman do you have your sights on?"

  “I decided not to make a claim until next week. Give you guys a chance.”

  "You jealous, Kevin?" I asked.

  "Jealous of you?" he said and scoffed.

  "More like envious," Jackson said. "He tries so hard and still can't get a girl to go upstairs with him."

  “Fuck you, Jackson Latre." We both stopped and glared at Kevin. Jackson hated to be called Jackson Latre. His mom named him after a character in a chic flick that took place in Louisiana where she grew up.

  Kevin was a royal prick, but personality was never taken into consideration during the selection process. His father was a senator.

  "Brothers, please. Must we participate in this juvenile ‘mine's bigger than yours’ game all the time?" Randolph walked into the main room carrying one side of the keg.

  "Sorry brother," we said in unison.

  "Besides, everyone knows I get first dibs on any female who enters this house. It is my right as the president." Randolph slapped me on the back, and the guys laughed.

  I could tell already; this was going to be a long night.

  #

  I tried to enjoy myself at the party, but my mind kept wandering. I kept one eye on the front door, waiting for Carrington to arrive, and the other on the bar.

  I planned to take her for a walk as soon as she arrived. Too much could go wrong in this place. I wanted to get to know her and make this a first date she would never forget.

  Carrington arrived around ten pm and as soon as I spotted her, my heart sank. She stumbled in with her friends from the other day in tow. They looked like their party had started hours ago.

  She wore her hair up in a ponytail, but strands escaped and fell around her face. Her black skinny jeans showed off her long, thin legs, but the oversize tank top covered her perfect ass—such a waste. She looked messy. However, her beauty still surpassed her sloppiness. I made no qualms about checking her out, but it further confirmed my initial thought. This was a stupid idea for a first date. She was dressed like she woke up late for class.

  I stood on the landing between the main floor and the loft. She tripped up the stairs.

  "Hello Joshua," she said with a drunken slur. She stumbled into my arms and placed her hands on my chest to steady herself. My hand touched her waist, and she ran her hands up my chest and around my neck. I smelled the alcohol on her breath, and I wanted to kiss her. I wanted her, and I wanted a taste—one of my addictions combined with my new obsession in one gorgeous package. I stared at her lips and felt her heart rate increase against my chest. She felt amazing in my arms. So amazing that my dick sprung to life in the most uncomfortable way. She pressed into me, but I pushed her away in an effort to maintain control.

  "Hey." My eyes went to her chest, and she crossed her arms and pouted. God, I wanted to kiss her.

  "You ready to start our date," she said. I shook my head, and she tried to hug me again. I stepped back and took her arms.

  "What's wrong? I thought you were so anxious to date me," Carrington said with so much sarcasm in her voice that for the first time since we met, she turned me off. My dick went back to sleep.

  Damn.

  "Why don't we go for a walk? Get some air." I grabbed her arm, but she pulled it out of my grasp, and it hurt my feelings.

  "No. I just got here. I want to party."

  She headed back down the steps, engulfed by the crowd, and I watched her walk away, again.

  Chapter Six

  Carrington Olivia
Butler

  On the dance floor in the middle of one hundred people seemed the safest place in the house. His face lit up when he saw me, and I showed up drunk off my ass. I hugged him, crashed into him, and he pushed me away. The grin disappeared and was replaced by a combined look of confusion and disappointment.

  The loud music allowed my body to move on its own, and I tried to shut off my brain and feel it, but when I turned my head to find Josh, I locked eyes with Jackson. I smiled, and he smiled back, but then he went back to speaking to the girl standing next to him.

  Guess he didn't want me either. I shrugged my shoulders and moved to the beat. My first college party kicked off the real start to my college career.

  I started dancing with my friends but soon lost track of them. I caught the eye of a guy standing in the corner. I motioned for him to come dance with me. He took two large steps, and I turned and his arms wrapped around my waist. He grinded into me, and I pushed back, enjoying being in someone's arms.

  He placed his hands on my hips, and I arched my back into him. He groaned. It made me feel good, and I enjoyed the music and the bodies moving around me. He turned me around and I closed my eyes and swayed with the music as the guy in front of me pulled me against him and moved his hands up and down my back. I nuzzled up to him and wrapped my arms around his neck, taking in his scent. He smelled amazing. I pulled back to look in his eyes, and he looked into mine, but as he leaned in, a guy pulled his attention away and whispered in his ear.

  He dropped his eyes and nodded to the guy whispering in his ear again.

  He pulled me into him and whispered in my ear, "Hey beautiful. I have to go take care of something, but I'll look for you later."

  His lips barely grazed mine. If his intention was to make me want more, he had succeeded.

  I found Jessica in another part of the room doing shots, and I joined her. Every ten minutes I searched for Jackson or Josh, and I found Josh watching me from across the room. Not in an annoying creepy way, but more in a protective kind of way.

  My drunken brain strained to figure out what he wanted from me, and in my current state, my brainpower was working overtime to prevent me from just falling on my ass.

  I lost my dance partner, but soon became the object of someone else's affection.

  "You are the most beautiful girl in here," said the guy who sent my dance partner away earlier. My body warmed at the sound of his voice, and I leaned into him as he wrapped his arm around my waist. For someone who hated cheesy lines, put a few drinks in me and I ate them up.

  My new admirer towered over me and outweighed me by seventy-five pounds. He guided me up the stairs and into the loft. Dark leather couches lined the entire back wall of the loft. He sat down in one and pulled me into his lap.

  I scanned the loft searching for Jackson. I wanted to give him his chance, but after he saw me earlier, I figured he was avoiding me, too.

  I shuddered and my mind went blank as my new friend's tongue entered my ear.

  "What's your name?" he asked. His deep voice filled my ear, followed by his tongue.

  "Carrington."

  "My name is Brandon," he said as he took my hand and pressed it into his lap between my legs. "I want you so bad."

  I tried to pull my hand away and protest, but when I turned to face him, he leaned in for a kiss. His tongue had been digging in my ear minutes before, and I slapped my hand over my mouth to avoid his dirty tongue in my mouth.

  I turned to the side door, which remained open after the last couple skulked through it. My new friend followed my eyes and seemed to like the idea. He stood up with me in his arms and threw me over his shoulder. My world turned upside down in a second and we exited through the door.

  The bright light in the hallway sobered me a bit.

  "Put me down or I'm going to throw up."

  He chuckled, which shook my whole body and everything I consumed prior to the party sat at the top of my throat. His hand rubbing my ass made it worse.

  "Please, put me down." I pushed my way out of his arms and landed hard on the floor. He bent down to help me up, and I got a good look at his face in the bright light of the hallway. He wasn't bad, but sweat broke out over his baldhead, and giant pit stains formed under his arms.

  "Are you okay?" he asked while catching his breath.

  I appreciated his concern. Minutes ago, his tongue was in my ear, and now with my ass on the floor, a wave of nausea hit me.

  "I really need a bathroom. I’m going to throw up." As he reached for me, I flashed to the moment in the quad when Josh knocked me down and then tried to help me up.

  God, I am such an idiot.

  What I wouldn't give to see him right now.

  Brandon lifted me up and steadied me on my feet. His big hands remained around my biceps. His lip twitched. His face turned red, and he squeezed my arm and pulled me to him.

  I broke out in a sweat and sirens were going off in my head. I tried to push him away, but he held on tight. I saw the determination in his eyes. Nothing was going to dissuade him, except maybe ... Bleuch

  I threw up all down the front of his shirt.

  His starched white button-down shirt looked like an abstract painting with orange juice, strawberries, and red sauce from the spaghetti I had for dinner. I spotted a couple of noodles clinging to the bottom of his shirt, which caused me to dry heave. He stepped back with his eyes protruding out of his skull as he examined his shirt.

  I turned and ran to the closest door. I found it unlocked. I pushed the door open and froze, a naked guy stood in the middle of the room waving his penis at me to come in. I would be safer staying with Brandon.

  The next door I tried was locked.

  I knocked on another door and almost crumbled in a heap of relief filled tears when it opened.

  ***

  Joshua Elijah Griffin, IV

  Oh, fuck me.

  I spent half the night watching her, but a few of my brothers had their eye on her, too. I predicted it. While I wanted her in my life, they wanted her for one night.

  Our brief moment together wasn't enough for the brothers to register this was the girl I had been talking about all week. Carrington stood out in the crowd, and we all enjoyed the view from a distance, but as the alcohol flowed, the guys became bolder. Randolph made the first move.

  He came up behind her on the dance floor, and I watched as he touched her in ways I wanted to touch her. A lump formed at the top of my throat. I wanted to run and grab her, drag her away like a caveman.

  I stood there all night seething. I never had time to worry about being at a college party with alcohol flowing and drugs in close proximity.

  It pissed me off, but all she did was enjoy herself. She got off on the attention.

  After grinding a few other brothers, including James, it was Brandon who dragged her up to the loft.

  They passed me on the landing, and Carrington avoided my eyes as I stared her down. Brandon punched me on the shoulder and grinned. I knew what taking a chick to the loft meant. It was a few more steps closer to getting her in his room. Carrington looked more than willing—she was like every other freshman girl on FSU campus.

  Fuck her. I gave up and headed to bed. Not like she would want to be with me anyway.

  I settled into bed and pulled a pillow over my head to drown out some of the noise. It didn't help; the music was causing the walls to vibrate.

  I almost ignored the pounding on the door, but whoever it was, wanted in my room. I jumped up and yanked the door open; ready to yell at who ever it was to get lost.

  I blinked and stepped back when I saw Carrington standing there. She bit her bottom lip and pleaded with her eyes. My heart melted. I pulled her in my room as Brandon made it around the corner.

  I turned and found her crying with remnants of vomit running down her shirt.

  "Take that off," I said pulling a t-shirt out of my dresser. I dropped the shirt on my bed and went in the bathroom to get her a wet towel. I grabbed a bottl
e of water out of the mini refrigerator on my way back. She got her shirt off and when I turned back, I almost dropped the bottle of water. She stood in the middle of my room in a blue lace bra. I forgot to move.

  I wanted to touch the curve in her waist, run my fingers over the ink on her hipbone peeking out of the top of her low-rise jeans. She turned to look at me over her shoulder and her shy smile made me groan under my breath.

  I regained feeling in my feet and walked over to her. She took the towel and washed her face. She handed it back and took the bottle of water. She drank half of it in one gulp, and I stood there like a twelve year old watching her chest heave up and down, trying not to drool.

  She pulled my t-shirt over her head. When she started unbuttoning her jeans, I couldn't take it anymore. I had to get out of here, or I wouldn't be responsible for my actions. I grabbed her shirt off the floor and headed to the bathroom to wash it out. I returned to find her crawled up on my bed passed out.

  This was not how I wanted to get her into my bed.

  She curled up on her side, the sheet covering her up to her waist. I reached out and rubbed her shoulder, but she didn't stir. The V-neck t-shirt framed her cleavage. I stared for a minute. I lifted the blanket, wanting to check out the tattoo, but my shirt covered it.

  I pulled the blanket up to her shoulders. I sat on the edge of the bed and watched her sleep, moving her hair out of her face and touching her cheek. It was a soft as I had imagined.

  I thought for a second about being a gentleman and giving her the bed.

  After the way she acted tonight, though, I thought screw it. I crawled over on the other side of the bed and tried to get comfortable without touching her.

  It only took a few hours to get the image of her standing in my room in her bra out of my head. I managed to fall asleep before the sun came up.

  Chapter Seven

  Carrington Olivia Butler

  I woke up as another sexy dream with Josh got to the hot part. My head pounded, and I turned over and the pain that shot through my skull made me miss the pounding. I pried my eyes open and scanned my surroundings. Bits and pieces of last night came flooding back to my memory, but not enough to place together what happened.