Anxious Love (Love Sick #1) Read online

  "What can I get you two?"

  I jumped as Mark's voice startled me. Ryan reached out and touched my knee. We both laughed and turned to find Mark waiting, his blue eyes wide and bugging out a little. With his shaggy brown hair, he appeared younger than thirty.

  "What would you like?" Ryan asked. I narrowed my eyes at Mark but turned back to Ryan.

  "Strong Bow on ice."

  Mark waited for Ryan’s order.

  "Dewar’s on the rocks."

  Mark nodded and went to get our drinks. I bit my lip to prevent myself from smiling.

  "What?"

  "Aren't you supposed to be in training or something?"

  "What do you mean?"

  "Well, I heard you ordering breakfast at Poppies." I lowered my voice. "I'll have two eggs and four egg yolks cooked in a tablespoon of butter, not oil, and wheat toast with the remaining butter from the grill."

  "So you did notice me at Poppies?" he asked and chuckled.

  My face grew hot.

  "Well, you're kind of hard to miss."

  "Funny, I thought the same thing about you."

  "Here's your Strong Bow on ice and Dewar’s." Mark slammed down our drinks and a dish separated into three compartments with peanuts, popcorn, and pretzels. His sharp movements drew my attention away from Ryan and made me nervous.

  Ryan reached into his back pocket and pulled out a credit card. "Can I start a tab?"

  Mark took the card; he looked at it and looked at me. I nodded and suppressed a giggle.

  "What's so funny?"

  "Nothing?" I shook my head and held up my drink. "Welcome to New Orleans."

  We touched glasses, and each took a sip while staring into each other’s eyes. He held my gaze, but I was the one who broke the eye contact first. My hand shook as I set down my glass.

  "So when did you move to New Orleans?" I asked. He titled his head.

  "I got here the day after the draft and haven't left yet. About a month now."

  I contemplated his answer. He didn't say any more. Before the silence could get awkward. I asked him another question.

  "How do you like it so far?"

  "I like it. I've been spending a lot of time just getting to know the city."

  "Had you been before?" And another.

  "Only once, but that was for workouts." He turned towards the door and narrowed his eyes. "They took us to dinner down here somewhere, too. I'm not sure where.

  I had a split second to take a deep breath while he looked away. His gaze, while not unpleasant, was unwavering when he looked at me.

  "The people are nice and laid back, but it's hotter than I thought it would be. Everyone keeps telling me it's going to get worse."

  "You're not used to the heat?" I peppered him with a few more questions, and he answered each one with ease. I needed to stop interrogating him. Sophie told me guys liked to talk about themselves. I figured as long as he was in the mood to share, I didn't have too.

  "I'm from Wisconsin."

  I nodded. I forgot what we were talking about.

  Oh right, the weather.

  "It doesn't get much hotter, but the humidity is crazy until October. You get used to it. Plus, it's good conditioning work for when the season rolls around." I didn't even know if my responses were on topic. His overwhelming presence made it hard to concentrate.

  "You're a football fan?" Ryan asked.

  "Yes." I took my own sip to avoid elaborating. I had said too much, but he waited. "One of my series is a football player who falls for his best friend’s girlfriend."

  "A series, like a television show?" His eyes grew wide.

  "No, as in book series."

  "You're a writer," he said.

  "I am."

  "What do you write?"

  I hated that question. Not that I was ashamed of what I wrote, but it was hard to explain. I went with my go-to answer.

  "Well, mostly romance—sexy, angst-filled, tear jerkers."

  "That's so cool." Ryan shifted in his seat and grinned. "How many books have you published?"

  "Seven."

  He nodded as if impressed.

  "But one of my books might be optioned for a television series." I bit my lip to keep from saying more. My heart was beating out of my chest.

  "Wow." He grinned. "You're like big time. How old are you?"

  Allie cackled, and we both turned as she covered her mouth.

  "Sorry." She held up her phone and went back to adjusting chairs.

  "Is that rude?"

  "No, I'm twenty-six."

  "At this rate, you're going to be famous by the time you're thirty."

  I look over at Mark to see if he was listening in, too. He faced away from us.

  "Naw, it's not about that for me. I write under a pen name. It's easier that way. I like my anonymity."

  "Oh."

  "I love what I do. I don't need strangers cheering me on. I'd do it anyway."

  "Yeah," Ryan said as he took a sip of his drink and stared out the window.

  "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to imply..." Shit. I wanted to crawl under a rock. Tonight, my anxiety manifested itself on a whole different level. It made me chatty.

  "Oh, no. I know." He touched my knee, and my heart rate slowed.

  We both looked down at his hand, and before he could remove it, I asked, "You getting used to it? The fame and stuff?"

  "Not really." His hand remained, and I liked it. "I mean playing at Notre Dame, I got a taste of it, but I'm not sure how I'm going to handle it when it actually starts. It's one of the things that freak me out about playing in the NFL."

  "What else freaks you out?"

  "Oh, I don't know, missing an assignment. Getting blown up at the line of scrimmage, getting run over by a running back half my size." He took a sip of his drink. "You know basically failing miserably and disappointing everyone."

  He peeked out the door. I reached out and touched his hand. He turned back to me.

  "Hey, has any of that stuff ever happened before?"

  "Well, you know not all on the same day, but yeah."

  "And you're still here. Living your dream. Stop worrying about the avalanche before it even begins to snow."

  He nodded as he brought his glass to his lips and sipped the brown liquid. I peered at his Adam's apple as he swallowed. I watched the muscles in his chest as he inhaled. My own stomach rumbled with butterflies as my eyes returned to his face.

  Ryan stared into my eyes. He flipped his hand over, and we both looked down at his open hand. I placed my small hand in his. His strong fingers closed around mine, and he brought it to his lips. He kissed my knuckles and my heart pounded in my chest so loud, I was sure he could hear it. The up and down emotions of the day, so far, made me a little dizzy. When he brought our hands down to rest on his thigh, his thigh muscles stiffened on the back of my hand.

  I reminded myself to breathe.

  "See, I knew we were supposed to meet," he whispered as he leaned in. I followed.

  "Why is that?"

  "Because I need someone in my life to remind me to enjoy the ride."

  I peered into his eyes and noticed innocence and a hint of sadness behind his light brown eyes. "To tell you the truth, I kind of need that, too," I said.

  He smiled and squeezed my hand. "It looks like the world brought us together for a reason. Leah James." He leaned in and every muscle in my body stiffened, including the ones in my hands. He lowered his head, but before he got any closer, I leaned back.

  My body connected with the wall and I shuddered as the cold brick touched my flesh. I inhaled and said a little too loud, "We should do a shot."

  Ryan blinked. "What?"

  "A shot. To celebrate your accomplishment. Every time I publish a book, I come here and do a shot."

  "Okay." He shrugged his shoulders.

  My whole crew seemed to take a collective sigh. If Ryan heard it, he ignored them. His focus was one hundred percent on me.

  "Mark,” I called, but
he already had two shot glass in one hand and the bottle of tequila in the other.

  "Two shots of..." I turned to Leah. Her face flashed red. Her intense stare made me uncomfortable, but I couldn't look away. I wanted to kiss her and get close to her. Her whole body trembled when I brushed my lips across her hand, but I sensed panic when I leaned in. It was an amateur move. Leah wasn't the type of girl you made out with in the back of a seedy bar in the middle of the day. She was way too classy. My college moves wouldn't work on a girl like her.

  I was happy I stopped myself from kissing her. I would wait for the perfect moment. Besides, in this bar, people were watching me.

  "Patrón Silver," Leah answered.

  I winked, and she blushed. This girl was so beautiful. Kind of innocent, but sexy as hell. It was the right mix of both. I shifted in my seat, glad my stuff was under wraps, or she would think I had control issues.

  I watched the bartender pour the shots. He brought me one lime but brought Leah two. He winked at her and returned to cleaning glasses at the other end of the bar.

  "This bar is really cool."

  Leah stared over my shoulder. When I turned, the sexy brown-haired girl hid behind a book. The other woman in the bar, the short girl with the short brown hair and the long sundress stood near the street with her back to us, but with her head cocked. She was tuned into every word. "You come here a lot?"

  "Yeah, it's quiet during the day. When I need to get out of my office, I work here."

  "Is there a scene from one of your books set in this place?"

  "As a matter of fact, there is." Her face expressed genuine pride when she talked about her writing. "It's the one I'm writing right now. The female main character's family owns the bar. Her father has sheltered her all her life. All she knows is this neighborhood and this bar. He dies suddenly under suspicious circumstances, and she is left with the bar. The local mafia wants her to sell the bar to them, but she won't. One night, a handsome stranger comes to her bar, and they start talking and hit it off. She falls hard, and it turns out he is the son of the mafia boss who probably killed her father and was forcing her to sell the place."

  "Fuck, what happens?"

  She blushed at my enthusiasm. It was my turn to tense when she leaned in close, and I smelled her sweet scent. The hair stood up on the back of my neck, and I stifled a groan when she whispered, "I don't know. I haven't finished it yet."

  "Oh, you tease."

  Her laugh boomed from deep inside. Leah handed me a shot and held hers up. "Cheers to..."

  "Wait. Before we toast, why don't you invite your friends to join us? My treat."

  Leah peered over my shoulder. The girls in the back stiffened, and the guy behind the bar froze.

  "Guys, it's okay, you people are the worst undercover security team in the world," Leah said and laughed. "How did you know they were with me?"

  "I guess the fact they have been hanging on our every word since I walked in."

  "We're just looking out for Leah, no harm," the bartender said as he reached over and shook my hand. "I'm Mark, and this is my wife, Allie."

  "Nice to meet you both," I said.

  Mark was shorter than I, but tall and lanky. His handshake was firm. People try to test my strength by over exaggerating their own because I was such a big guy.

  The woman pretending to read in the back of the bar stalked up to the bar. She has the prettiest shade of olive colored skin and striking green-brown eyes. Her body was banging, too. I stared, but not too long.

  "And I'm Sophie." She extended her hand and slid it into mine. I shook it and smiled but dropped it when I caught Leah rolling her eyes.

  "I'm sorry," Leah said. "Although I picked the place, you showed up before I could warn them to leave us alone."

  "Come on, Leah. We know how to act in front of a cute famous football player," Sophie said.

  "Clearly," Leah said and shot her friend a cool it look.

  "Well, since you all are here, please join us."

  I turned to Leah, and she mouthed sorry. I shook my head. I got it. I was a stranger, and the way I walked up on her was strange. I had the rest of the night to show her she could trust me.

  "Okay, who's gonna start?" I asked.

  "Start with what?" Allie asked.

  "Telling me about your cute little friend here. I want to know everything."

  Leah blushed, Allie sighed, and Mark laughed.

  "Dude, you are good." Mark said.

  "Yes, he is." Sophie's sultry voice made me blush.

  Leah leaned with her back against the brick wall and smiled. I wasn't sure if inviting her friends on our date was good or bad. I waited for her to respond.

  She held her shot up. "To making friends."

  "To making friends," we all said in unison. I licked the salt rim, took the shot, and sucked on the lime as the others did the same. Leah took a different approach. She squeezed the two lime wedges into her shot, pinched the salt between her fingers, and sprinkled it into the shot glass before downing it.

  I watched her as she closed her eyes and licked her lips as the liquid slid down her throat. I enjoyed watching her enjoy it. Her mouth twitched as the sour liquid registered on her taste buds. She threw her head back and opened her eyes. When she came back to us, the sexy grin on her face blew me away.

  The temperature shot up twenty degrees, and my heart thumped in my ears. She licked her lips again and winked. Her friends carried on their own conversation as she released the last little effects of the shot. I reached out and touched her hand, and she cocked her head. I laced my fingers through hers. She stared at our intertwined hands, exhaled, and smiled. She pulled her eyes away from me and focused back on her friends, all the time rubbing her thumb on the back of my hand. I calmed my heartbeat and tried to control myself, although I wanted nothing more than to push her up against the wall and have my way with her.

  And another thought hit me as she looked over at me one more time. She touched the inside of the rim of her glass and brought it to her lips to taste.

  I was so fucking jealous of that shot of tequila.

  "Wait." We all turned toward Sophie. "Before we partake in more shots, I think we need food."

  "Oh." Leah clapped her hands and raised them over her head, high school cheerleader style. "Grilled oyster."

  The room went quiet before we all busted out in raucous laughter.

  "Okay," I said and stood up. "Where should we go?"

  Leah's eyes cut to Mark, who was the most sober out of the crew. Sophie was on her fourth shot, Allie on her third. She rocked back and forth on her barstool and laid her head on the bar as she watched us.

  Mark and I had downed three shots, but because of my size and four years of college, my high tolerance worked in my favor. Mark seemed sober, an occupational necessity.

  "Can we stay here?" Sophie asked as she tugged on my shirt sleeve. I wondered how many drinks it would take for her to pass out. Her tolerance was high as well. I watched Leah, too. She’d sipped on her second shot all night. "Mark can't leave."

  "I'll order from Acme across the street. They'll run it over. What do you guys want?" Mark asked.

  I turned back to Leah. She winked at Mark, and he smiled back at her. The non-verbal dialogue in this group would make an insecure guy uncomfortable. Glad I wasn't that kind of guy. I enjoyed being around them, and they made Leah calm and happy. We both suffered from overstimulation and our subtle flirting, touches, looks, and handholding did nothing but leave us both hot and bothered. That was how it was for me, at least.

  From the expression on her face, she felt it too.

  We finished off dinner and two more shots. As the night wore on, more people entered the bar. Mark, who knew everyone, steered them away from our little group.

  Sophie was in a social mood. "Hey guys, come over here. You have to meet our new friend, Ryan Ware."

  "Sophie, be quiet," Allie said annoyed at her friend making a scene.

  One of the guys in the
group, a short dude with shoulder-length brown hair he kept pushing behind his ear, came up to Sophie. They stood eye to eye. From his red face and sweat-stained T-shirt, he had been partying hard and long all afternoon.

  "I don't care who he is. I want to know your name, little lady."

  "Oh, fuck. Is that really what you're going to use to pick me up?" Sophie laughed in his face. His face grew redder.

  Sophie was right, the dude’s accent was weak. The tension in the bar changed and as the guy tried getting in her personal space. I got up and stood behind Sophie as the guy stepped to her. I moved her to my side and placed a hand on the little guy’s chest.

  "You had better control your woman," the short guy said.

  "Hey buddy, why don't you calm down, and I'll buy you and your friend a drink."

  He tested how solid my stance was before backing down and going back to his friends. I respected the guy for trying.

  "Sophie, cool it." Allie grabbed Sophie and dragged her to the bathroom in the back of the bar.

  Mark served the group of four their drinks. I turned back to find Leah, but she was gone. I spotted her skirt flowing in the breeze outside the door.

  "Hey." I stepped out and stood next to her. She stood with her back against the wall, surveying the street. "You okay?"

  "Yeah, I just needed some air." She smiled, but it was not a happy smile; it was more relief.

  I reached out and touched the goose bumps forming on her arm.

  "Are you cold?"

  She shook her head and tilted her head up. "I'm sorry. Sophie can get out of hand sometimes."

  "No, she's fine. A little loud but fine."

  She smirked, and I reached down and took her hand. "Actually, I enjoyed meeting them. It's nice to get to know you through their eyes. Made tonight a lot less scary."

  "You were scared about tonight?"

  "Terrified." I ran my other hand down her arm and captured her small hand in both of mine. I wanted to hold her close but settled for what she gave me. "Why do you think I never talked to you at Poppies?" I pointed at myself. "Chicken shit, right here."

  "I don't believe you." She gave me one of her genuine smiles and my insides warmed.

  "It's true. Every day, I went in there and thought today's the day. I'm going to talk to her. And every day, I chickened out."