The Marmalade Files Read online

  ‘Do you reckon you can hold on, with the numbers in the House the way they are?’

  ‘Well, right now Simmo is talking to that grubby Queensland Liberal, trying to persuade him to break ranks. He might do it too, ’cause he won’t get preselected again.’

  ‘But surely you can’t win another election? You’re gone – it’s just a matter of time, isn’t it?’

  ‘Never make bold predictions, Harry, you know that. If we can endure, we can turn this around. Sure, mate, it’s like trying to land a spaceship on a snowflake, but that’s the plan. And this new Liberal leader, she’s a nasty piece of work … mate, in time people will grow to hate her.’

  Ryan paused. ‘Sorry about your friend, Harry.’

  ‘Thanks, mate, that’s really why I’m here.’

  ‘I know.’

  ‘How much do you know?’

  ‘More than you, but not everything, not by a long chalk.’

  ‘So tell me about the Yanks. It’s been suggested they were behind the leak that destroyed Paxton. Are my sources solid?’

  Ryan took a slow sip of beer. ‘The Americans were concerned, mate. And they had every right to be. Our own people were deeply concerned. Washington might have sped the process up, but Paxton, well, he was gone from the moment he hooked up with that Tibetan girl – again. Harry, we simply can’t afford a Defence Minister, with unfettered access to such sensitive information, so deeply compromised.’

  Another scoopful of nuts disappeared into Ryan’s gaping mouth, before he continued.

  ‘I don’t know if he ever told the Chinese anything useful, but it doesn’t really matter. That fucking fool was threatening our nation’s ability to defend itself. He wanted to cut back Defence spending, not increase it. And this at a time when we need to be expanding our military. We have to prepare, Harry, for future conflict – a war with China which, in my judgement, is inevitable. Our people had been dragging their feet on Paxton for nearly two months. Give the Americans credit, mate, they know how to finish the job.’

  Dunkley digested the explosive information, realising he’d taken the wrong fork in the road. ‘So I missed the big story. I followed the money and found a crook.’

  ‘Well, that’s still a story. It’s just not the most interesting one. And it had the desired effect. So thanks. Your country salutes you.’ Ryan mockingly raised his glass before finishing his beer, looking for a waiter to order another.

  ‘But weren’t you concerned that getting rid of Paxton might bring the government down?’

  ‘No, mate. We don’t need Paxton as Defence Minister, we just need his vote in the parliament. Of course it was bloody embarrassing, but it was essential to secure the defence of the realm. Some things, my friend, are beyond politics.’

  ‘Does the Prime Minister know about this?’

  ‘No.’

  Dunkley signalled a waitress and ordered two more beers, before turning back to Ryan.

  ‘Who killed Ben?’

  ‘I don’t know for sure, but I – we – suspect the Chinese.’

  ‘Jesus, Brendan, that’s just bullshit. What possible reason could they have?’

  ‘I can’t prove this but we suspect the Chinese were on to your friend and his little, er, theory. About Bailey.’

  Ryan carefully scanned the surrounding lounges, before lowering his voice and continuing. ‘Do you remember the phone call from Ben last week? He said to you that there was something else he had to tell you. “Something unbelievable about Bailey.”’

  Dunkley was stunned. ‘Mate, how do you know that?’

  ‘We were listening, Harry, and clearly we weren’t the only ones. We didn’t move against Ben because we wanted him to help you. From the start we knew he would. That’s why you got the photo. And Harry … I know you’re wondering, but we’ve got it back, safe and sound where it belongs.’

  ‘What was Ben going to tell me about Bailey?’

  ‘Well, he did say “something unbelievable”. And he was dead right. Didn’t you ever think that the reason we gave for shafting that bitch Bailey was a bit thin? What? That she was a crazy control freak who was hard to work with? We’ve had maniacs in office before and lived with them. Name a PM who isn’t hard to work with. Ask Gary Gray about Captain Whacky. Sure, Bailey was riding low in the polls. But if that was the reason for killing a Prime Minister, well then Toohey would have gone months ago.

  ‘Don’t forget our main problem in that abortion of an election campaign was that we couldn’t explain to the Australian people why we dumped our leader. We were just lucky that Scott was such a lousy politician or the Coalition would have hosed us.’

  Ryan moved in close.

  ‘We got rid of Catriona Bailey because she’s a … spy.’

  Dunkley wore a what-the-fuck expression that could have been seen clear across the lounge.

  ‘Harry, you look startled, but let me go on. She was recruited by the Chinese when she was a language student in Hong Kong in the early 1980s. Honkers was a rich breeding ground then for the Commies. And they really hit the jackpot.

  ‘All the time that Bailey was working her way up through Labor ranks, building her contacts in Washington, she was also feeding intel back to Beijing. She pretended to take a hard line against China on human rights, but she was always acting in their interest. It was a convincing performance too. We – us and the Americans – only found out when it was too late.’

  Dunkley struggled to absorb this impossible information. It was as if Ryan was speaking another language.

  Outside, the orderly nature of the Canberra evening continued, a steady procession of public servants returning to their neat homes after another day performing the tasks necessary to keep the Commonwealth of Australia ticking over. No more, no less.

  ‘I don’t have any evidence that the Chinese killed Ben,’ Ryan continued. ‘But I do know that no one on our side did. I think the Chinese intercepted Ben’s call to you, panicked, and decided to act.’

  Ryan fell into silence and Dunkley didn’t know how to fill it. Finally, he spoke.

  ‘Well, that’s the most extraordinary tale I ever heard, Brendan. But I could never write it … unless I turned my hand to fiction.’

  ‘Why not mate?’

  ‘Because … nobody would ever believe me.’

  About the Authors

  Steve Lewis arrived in Canberra in late 1992, and has been tormenting the nation’s political elite ever since. He worked for the Australian Financial Review for fifteen years before joining the Australian as chief political reporter, and since 2007 has been breaking news and causing mischief as national political correspondent for News Limited’s big-selling metropolitan dailies – the Daily Telegraph, Herald Sun, Courier-Mail and Advertiser.

  Chris Uhlmann is one of Australia’s best known and most respected political broadcasters. He began his career in journalism at the Canberra Times as the world’s oldest copy-kid, after failed stints as a student priest, storeman and packer and security guard. He was editor of the Canberra Weekly before joining the ABC in 1998. As political editor of the ABC’s flagship current affairs program, 7.30, he has earned a reputation for his fearless pursuit of the nation’s politicians.

  Copyright

  Like all works of fiction, this story was inspired by events in the real world, but it is a work of fiction and none of the main characters in this book really exists and, more importantly, none of the acts attributed to these fictional characters ever took place. So please do not interpret anything that happens in this book as a real event that actually happened or involved any person in the real world (whether living or now deceased).

  Fourth Estate

  An imprint of HarperCollinsPublishers

  First published in Australia in 2012

  This edition published in 2012

  by HarperCollinsPublishers Australia Pty Limited

  ABN 36 009 913 517

  harpercollins.com.au

  Copyright © Steve Lewis and Chris Uhlmann 2
012

  The right of Steve Lewis and Chris Uhlmann to be identified as the authors of this work has been asserted by them in accordance with the Copyright Amendment (Moral Rights) Act 2000.

  This work is copyright. Apart from any use as permitted under the Copyright Act 1968, no part may be reproduced, copied, scanned, stored in a retrieval system, recorded, or transmitted, in any form or by any means, without the prior written permission of the publisher.

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  Lewis, Steve.

  The marmalade files / Steve Lewis and Chris Uhlmann.

  978 0 7322 9474 8 (pbk.)

  978 0 7304 9965 7 (ebook)

  Satire, Australian – 21st century.

  Australia – Politics and government – Fiction.

  Uhlmann, Chris.

  A823.4

  Cover design by Natalie Winter

  Cover image by Bob Stefko/Getty Images (200428221-001)