Mask of A Legend Read online

  “Yes, my name is Dina Monroe. The last name was my idea.” Paula noticed a red mark on her face. Dina detected her looking at the mark and immediately covered it with her hand. “Oh, don’t worry, this isn’t acne beginning to form, I was just in a little fight yesterday.” Paula smiled at her in relief.

  “Oh good, because I have to tell you that I think you’ll get a good modeling agent to represent you,” Paula assured. She picked up the stamper and pressed it hard on Dina’s photo. The stamp read ‘Approved’. “Just wait in the lobby for a little bit. In about twenty minutes we’ll be showing a tape about the model search for those who are invited, like yourself,” Paula explained, handing Dina a few brochures. “You’re definitely going to get an agent.”

  “Why thank you,” Dina said. “I know I’ll get an agent, I just hope that I won’t have to put up with the hassle of getting a shitty one!” She then grabbed her photo and the brochures from Paula and walked away.

  “You know, Steve, why can’t a girl be beautiful, and also be nice at the same time?” Paula asked. She stared at Dina exiting the ballroom. “Well, at least the agents will be happy to know that their payment to us for being here, yet again, won’t go to waste.”

  “Paula, no one’s perfect. Besides, maybe you just haven’t met any girls who were kind and beautiful simultaneously.”

  “I don’t know, I mean, take that Dina girl, for instance. She’s beautiful, and I know damn well she’s rich, but that one quality that’s most important in this business, she’s lacking. That quality is to not have a stick up your ass,” Paula remarked, followed by Steve’s laughter.

  The dreamlike landscape of the room, mixed with the reflected red velvet, slowly Paula’s eyelids began to get heavy. But they continued their commitment of looking over more girls’ photos. Meanwhile, past the chandeliers, velvet, vases, green marble pedestals and fresco paintings, Dina finally reached the exit of the hotel. She walked out and felt a cold breeze run against her sweaty, make-up-enhanced face, the chill freezing her sweat. She looked at the line of girls who stretched all the way down the block and walked opposite of where the line led to, observing as these young girls looked at her with envy and enjoying it.

  Mingled within the line, a nervous voice, belonging to Legend, said, “Oh my God, that’s Dina,” after she noticed Dina walking toward her.

  “Alright, just turn around and maybe she won’t notice us,” said Jenny. Dina passed by them without even acknowledge their faces.

  Legend turned back around and saw Dina walking over to a taxicab while the line started moving. If only the cab could hit her. No. Legend suddenly felt a breath of sadness rush over her face, mixed with the cold, chipping away the only hope of succeeding that she ever had in her life. It’s as if the moment she saw Dina, the negative empowerment she had over Legend for a long time abruptly came full circle again. “I wonder where her friends are,” said Legend. Dina’s taxi drove off.

  “Who cares where the other bitches are at? All I know is this line is long, and my ass is freezing,” Jenny mumbled. Her mouth felt the numbness from the cold wind.

  “Do you think they’ll accept this picture of me?” Legend showed her photo to Jenny, grasping onto it tightly due to the wind craving to tear it out of her hand.

  “Well, girl, you are thirteen years old in this picture. But, maybe they will,” replied Jenny. Girls passed by them, some had tears in their eyes, others had solid smiles on their faces, just like Dina had, separating the two emotions that Legend would inevitably feel after she exits the hotel.

  “This is the only picture that I have where I don’t have acne, or even stringy, blonde hair.” Jenny rubbed Legend’s back to calm her.

  “Listen, calm down, it’s gonna be fine. Just follow the plan that you explained to me yesterday. All you have to do is hand them your photo while covering up part up your face with this scarf. We covered up most of your zits with make-up, so this should be a cinch.” Jenny handed Legend a red scarf and continued to rub her back.

  “What are you talking about? You can still see my acne through the make-up!” Legend was frantic, seeing the line moving faster and closer to the entrance of the hotel. Suddenly, through her poetically mixed emotions, lightning shot out from the sky, thunder followed and ice-cold raindrops began to fall. There was no time for any of the nervous girls to think how amazing it was to see this type of deranged weather during such a cold season. But for Chicagoans it was nothing new. The wind that traveled through the skyscrapers grew faster and larger, and the darkened, gloomy clouds moved faster against the hidden sun. To some, this would be a cliché of movement, depicting that someone or something was coming from the heavens. Yet the girls who stood in line only worried about keeping their balance against the ravishing winds, mixed with grueling rain. At that instance, a young, black girl tapped Legend on the shoulder.

  “Well, if you keep the scarf on your face, they won’t notice the acne,” the stranger said. Legend turned around and saw acne on the girl’s face as well. “You see, I’m gonna do the same thing, too,” she added as she held up a blue scarf and put it around her neck.

  “Thanks,” Legend said. The wind calmed, but the rain still coveted to thrive throughout the city. The rain stopped hitting their heads when they entered the hotel entrance, and the line moved faster while Legend noticed the black girl smiling toward her. “Do I know you?”

  “No, my name is Angelica Winters.” She shook Legend’s hand and looked at Legend with a smile: a kind, familiar expression that treated Legend’s emotions like Angelica did know her. Angelica, seeming like she was in her mid-twenties, had a soothing voice, a kind one that could only reflect smiles to anyone who heard it.

  “Oh, my name is Legend Conaway, and this is my friend, Jenny Smithers.” Angelica shook Jenny’s hand.

  “Pleased to meet you,” said Jenny. Legend looked up at the luxuriant foyer of the hotel and saw a fresco painting of angels on the ceiling. She looked over at the different types of artistic vases that stood on separate pedestals. Then she looked over and saw a huge, beautiful, Chinese plate that stood to the right of her on a huge, brown, glossy table.

  “This place is beautiful,” Legend remarked. They came up to the stairway that led to the ballroom and the line started to get smaller, vanishing almost to nothing as they proceeded to enter the ballroom. The anxiety grew in Legend’s mind the shorter the line appeared.

  “Don’t be afraid, Legend.” Angelica noticed fear in Legend’s eyes. Legend turned to face her while Jenny gave Legend a quick hug for support.

  “Are you afraid, Angelica?” Legend asked.

  Jenny looked to the front of them and saw the table that stood in the middle of the room. Angelica questioned, “What is there to be afraid of?”

  “Alright, after this girl, it’s gonna be your turn,” Jenny warned. Legend quickly turned around and saw Paula.

  “I wish I was beautiful, so that I wouldn’t have to wear this scarf,” said Legend. Angelica smiled toward her again.

  “Watch what you wish for,” Angelica stated. Jenny and Legend looked at her in uncertainty.

  “I wish it would come true!” Angelica smiled even more toward her. Then, inhaling a quick breath of air, Legend turned around and walked up to Paula in the reddish-colored room, while putting her scarf over her face to mask her supposed unattractive features, including her acne she so despised. Nervous, fearful, her spine twisting itself into knots, Legend handed Paula a picture of herself while Angelica and Jenny waited behind her. Paula looked over her photo as she grabbed the stamper and Legend just stood there with apprehension in her psyche. Even though she hoped that the stamp Paula was about to place on Legend’s photo was a positive, symbolic one, she still tried acknowledging that it might not be, and that her chances of Paula seeing her beauty were highly slim indeed.

  Just before she was ready to stamp Legend’s photo, Paula stopped and asked, “What’s your name?”

  “Oh, my name is Legend, Legend Conaway.�
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  “How old are you in this photo?” Paula asked, looking at her photo more closely. Legend turned away from her and looked at Jenny, not knowing what do, how to answer the question, debating if a lie should follow or perhaps the truth should just flow out.

  Legend faced Paula again, replying, “Oh, I’m thirteen years old here.”

  Eyes widening so far that the make-up under Paula’s eyes began to crumble, Paula couldn’t believe that Legend told the truth. “Most girls tell me a lie when I ask that.” Paula smiled at Legend, wiped away some of the crumbles of mascara that cracked and fell near her pupils of brown, and then noticed Legend pulling her red scarf close to her face. “Do you have a cold, Miss Conaway?” Legend pulled the scarf closer to her image, attempting to hide herself more, including the lie she didn’t want to birth.

  She didn’t know whether to lie or not, fib or stretch the truth, so she said the first words that came to her mind. “No, I just don’t want you to see my face.” Legend was sad when she answered her, but Paula still smiled toward her again.

  “My God, no girl has ever been so truthful with me before,” Paula stated. She turned to Steve and noticed him looking at Legend, too. Steve winked his right eye at Paula and gave a grin. Silence took over the meeting and now it was up to guessing Steve’s facial expressions to guide Paula’s next actions. So, she put down the stamper and grabbed the other one. She pressed it down hard on Legend’s picture and said, “Have a nice day. Oh, and for future references, I would get professional photos of yourself.” Legend grabbed the photo, turned around to face Angelica and Jenny, walked up to them quickly, and cried behind her scarf.

  “I can’t look at it, what did she put down?” Legend asked, handing her photo to Jenny. Jenny read it and then handed it to Angelica. Legend tried to study Jenny’s reactions after her eyes perceived the picture, but she couldn’t decipher whether it was a good reaction or not. All Jenny did was smile, but to Legend, she tried to understand whether it was a sympathetic smile or a grin of positive shock.

  “Well, it says ‘Approved’,” exhaled Jenny. Legend gave out a scream, hugging Angelica and Jenny at the same time, while Paula observed her moment of prosperity and smirked toward it. A wave of justifiable yet unusual happiness surfaced Legend’s aura, soul and body, brushing her hair like a calm memory, soothing her goose bumps like a delicate rose flushing against every one of them. Her eyes opened a little bit more, her posture stood a little bit straighter than before, and the scarf she wore was forgotten about more and more. Time was still and Legend, motionless and in awe, was shocked that she actually passed the part of this huge event without lying at all. It was as if she knew, just like with her whole life, that she would be turned down at once because of her face, and being used to this ritual, it was hard for her to get used to being on the other side of the line.

  It is the line that separates dreamers from those who accept the reality they have, and Legend never received a chance, like she got now, to see the other side of it. Everything moved much faster the more she realized what happened, so quickly that the time she thought stopped or stood still was actually an error to her spirit. It was really racing, sprinting faster than she ever imagined. Happiness was quick and sadness was slow is what Legend learned while she still gazed at the ‘Approved’ stamp on her photo.

  “Oh, Legend, here’s the information for the event, and also you can wait in the lobby. We’ll be giving a small presentation to those who were invited,” Paula said, handing Legend the brochures. Legend’s excitement caused happiness that raced faster than her thoughts, forced her to run away from Jenny and Angelica, and run up to the doorway of the ballroom. It was as if she was trying desperately to keep up with the speed of her thoughts, the newfound prosperity of acceptance. She then remembered that Jenny was missing by her side, so her happy body ran back up to Jenny and gave her another hug. Angelica just laughed.

  “Hopefully I’ll see you again when the main event comes up next month,” Angelica said.

  “I know you will, just make a wish,” Legend happily replied.

  Angelica’s smile fell to a straight grin, saying, “My wishing days are over with, now go home and celebrate.”

  “I’ll wish for you then.” Legend closed her eyes and made the wish.

  “Why don’t you pray for me instead?” Angelica asked. Her voice stood motionless after her words, as if she dug some sort of deep meaning in her tone. She then walked up to Paula and turned away from Legend.

  “I’ll do that, too: good luck.” Legend and Jenny walked away from Angelica, still shocked and happy. As soon as they reached the outside of the ballroom, they proceeded to go from walking to running with minds filled with happy thoughts and wonderment about what this new road would bring Legend.

  “That Paula woman said to wait in the lobby until they give that small presentation for the girls who were chosen,” said Jenny. Legend just kept on smiling. “Don’t you want to see the presentation?”

  “I can’t, I got to go home now, my mother doesn’t know I’m here and she’s going to be wondering where I’m at.” They exited the hotel and Legend abruptly stopped in her tracks, rain falling over them both, and asked, “My God, where is this search gonna be held at?”

  Jenny whistled for a cab and immediately a cab came to the curb where they were standing. “Oh, it’s gonna be held on November twenty-second, and twenty-third at the O’Hare Marriott Hotel. It’s all in this brochure,” Jenny answered. They both jumped into the cab. Legend’s fear slowly dripped out of her mind and happy thoughts returned. But the fear returned when Jenny asked, “Why are you going to go to this thing anyway, Legend? Did you know that it costs three hundred dollars to attend it, and that doesn’t include the hotel room either?”

  Legend turned to her, took the scarf off, and allowed Jenny to see her face. “This is why I’m doing it, Jenny.” Legend showed Jenny her dreadful face, or at least a face she felt in her own eyes was ugly. “I’m doing it to prove to Dina, as well as myself, that I could also be accepted as a beautiful girl. I told you that already!” Jenny felt Legend’s face, rubbing it like a mother would.

  “But you are beautiful.” Legend pulled her hand away gently and looked out the window, seeing her reflection in the window’s dirty, rain-filled glass as a tear fell from her right eye. “Did you hear me? I said you are beautiful, Legend!”

  “I know, I heard you, but I don’t believe you. I want the whole world to say it in order for me to believe it. But I know that won’t happen…. I just want to remember myself as at least giving it a shot with the beautiful girls, by going to this search. Please be happy for me.” Jenny saw the tears in her eyes while she looked at her reflection in the window and still couldn’t understand why Legend didn’t love herself, or at least didn’t accept the reality of what God gave to her. Legend turned around to face Jenny and whipped her tears away with the scarf.

  “Where to?” the cab driver asked.

  “I am happy for you … come here.” Jenny gave Legend a tight hug and rubbed her hair like a mother would to a child.

  “I said where to, girls?” the cab driver asked again. The cab drove off into the Chicago evening and the cold rain that blew gazed at Legend through the window, watching her eyes staring at it, not knowing that she, once again, was peering at her reflection.

  Chapter Four

  The days passed as Legend got prepared for the event she hoped would make her soul stronger in believing she really was beautiful. Such an innocent girl, with such a dream, a fantasy that she watched come true for others every time she saw a beautiful girl walk by her, or when she looked at a modeling magazine. She wasn’t jealous, or even envious of beautiful girls whom she saw. She was saddened by it, troubled because they have such a tremendous gift, but they don’t respect it. Every beautiful girl whom she saw would either be cruel to others, or else be conceited to them. But, Legend turned away from them as they showed their conceitedness, and concentrated on making her so-called wis
h real.

  She would run, lift weights she couldn’t lift, and even put make-up on her face when she didn’t know how to use it, in order to make herself pretty for the event. But, every time she did these things, she would look in the mirror and still see the ugly mask that she wore. She would drink ten glasses of water a day, and even read health magazines to see how she could become beautiful, how she could take off this ugly mask she was born with.

  Jenny was her so-called coach in this pursuit of finding beauty on the outside of Legend’s face. Jenny came by Legend’s house every day after school and prepared Legend for the model search by putting moisturizer, green masks, and even acne cream on her face and saying, “Don’t worry, your face will change for the better, people say that this cream works!” But, every time Legend would take off the green masks, or take off the acne cream, she would still see the same face that caused her pain in the past, and still in the present. She became overwhelmed with this so-called obsession with being beautiful and, overall, being perfect. She was addicted to the lie of what beauty should look like: the illusion.

  Three days before the model search, Legend and Jenny were walking home from school, while the November rain misted them from the grey sky. Legend looked at her face in a small compact mirror while they walked, and then turned away immediately from it when she came across her dreadful face. “Nothing has changed, my face still looks the same as it did before,” Legend cried. “The search is in three days, how am I gonna go to it when I look like this still?”

  “Legend, you knew that there was a huge chance that your acne wasn’t going to go away by now, to say the least. You still have those small lips and stringy, blonde hair. You can’t afford to go to a hairstylist, because you spent all your money on this search already,” Jenny replied. She felt sorry that Legend had to go through this pain of realizing she was destined to be ugly. She watched Legend’s tears fall to the cold, wet ground and wanted nothing more than to stop her tears. “Alright, Legend, listen to me, you can still back out of it. Dina and all the other bitches who are going to it don’t know that you’re going. It’s better that you back out now, instead of dealing with Dina making fun of you at the model search!”