Finding Eliza Read online

  “Whoa. Wait just a second,” said Lizzie as she stood in surprise, causing the chair to wobble behind her. Raising her hands in the air, she took a step back from the table. “What do you mean her name was Eliza? Was I named after your aunt? No one thought I might want to know this before now?”

  “We don’t need you getting all riled up, sister.” Blue slid out a chair and patted its back as encouragement for Lizzie to take a seat. “Do your Gran’s old heart good and sit down.” It may have sounded like a request, but Lizzie knew it was the only polite order she was going to get from Blue if she continued to pace the room.

  “We all knew about it, dear. We were just waiting until your grandmother thought the time was right,” whispered Abi. “Sweetheart, just listen to her for a minute before you get all twisted into knots.”

  Gertrude crossed her hands in her lap and took in a calming breath before starting the conversation over. “My father always spoke of his sister with such adoration. He loved her. She was his baby sister. It was his responsibility to protect her, and he took that charge to heart. Growing up I knew that she had an accident at a young age, but I wasn’t sure exactly what it was or when it had occurred. It was painful for him to discuss because he felt as if he was responsible. The only way he knew how to cope was to keep it locked up, so we didn’t talk about her often. It just opened too many wounds, I suppose. I always had the feeling that whatever happened was something that we didn’t need to dwell on so I didn’t push. It wasn’t until years later that I learned her story.”

  Emotions of the past began to crawl cross Gertrude’s face. Her life-long friends reached for her. Abi leaned in for a hug as Blue reached for Gertrude’s hand. Claud whispered prayers under her breath much to Blue’s irritation.

  “I don’t know much about her outside of the diary, but he did tell me of her beauty and grace. Her full name was Eliza Gertrude James. I am the bearer of her middle name. When you were born, you were such a beautiful baby that her name just came to mind. You held the beauty that my father talked about when he thought of his sister. Your parents loved it, so Eliza you became. It’s a name that connects us to each other as well as to the past.”

  Gertrude watched Lizzie’s face as she took it all in. Her big green eyes were even larger than normal as she soaked in the conversation. It was only when Lizzie dropped her eyes to look at the diary that she knew it was time to continue talking about its secrets.

  “You look like you have some questions,” Gertrude said. “Where do you want to start?”

  Lizzie wasn’t sure how to answer her grandmother. Thoughts raced through her head as she sat looking at the diary. All she expected from this evening was a boring night at church to appease her grandmother. One small collection of dusty paper had changed everything. Lizzie knew that conversations of the past could be painful. She wasn’t sure that she wanted to open another wound over a woman she didn’t even know existed until a few moments earlier.

  “I just discovered that my namesake is a mysterious aunt that we don’t discuss. I have a lot of questions. What did she do? Why was your father so concerned with her dating a boy that he cut her out of his life like that?”

  “It was a little more complicated than that. It was a different time. People saw things differently then. You’ll have to read the diary to understand.”

  Lizzie rubbed her temples. Her life had always felt like it had a shadow over it. People always looked at her like she was different. She always assumed it was her pain over her parents’ death that made them uncomfortable. Now she wondered if there was something else complicating matters. What kind of scandal did her great aunt cause? Immediately she felt like blaming Eliza Gertrude James, bearer of both beauty and shame.

  “I only wanted to come to the meeting for a few hours to make you happy, Gran. I had no idea a family scandal was waiting on me.”

  Blue took control of the conversation. “Listen here. You need to take a breath before you blow a gasket. That won’t be something pretty, and I don’t feel like putting you together tonight. It’s been a long day, and I don’t have the energy.” She rose to get a snack tray that was still sitting on the dessert table. “Lemon square?”

  Claud broke from her prayers as the tray came within inches of her nose. “How on earth can you be thinking of sweets during a conversation like this, Blue?”

  “Easy. They’re here. I’m staring at them. What’s not to understand?” Blue popped a small yellow confection into her mouth and returned to her chair with a flourish and a wink at Claud. She took her role as the grounding force of the group seriously, even if it did come out of her mouth in a mixture of bluntness and comedy.

  “Honestly, Blue,” Abi said. “The diary holds all the answers, honey. It’s a heavy story, but it isn’t your story. It just might teach you a thing or two. The past tends to do that if you let it.”

  “I’m sure it’s interesting, but I don’t see what I can learn from a dusty book written by a man I didn’t know in an era I didn’t live. I don’t see how it’s connected,” Lizzie said.

  “Sometimes you struggle with making peace over the events of your past.” Gertrude paused. “I - no, we - thought it would be helpful for you to see how others dealt with difficulty in their lives. Sometimes the past is painful, but other times it can bring perspective. I want you to see how my father and his family dealt with difficult times in the hopes that it helps you deal with yours.”

  “That is part of why we are drawn to study our family history,” Claud added. “It helps us put what we’re dealing with today into perspective.”

  “In some cases, the strength of our ancestors helps us move past something that’s holding us down,” said Abi.

  “Or, in the case of my aunt, their struggles teach us how to let go before our troubles destroy us.”

  Lizzie looked at the diary once again. Picking it up, she flipped through the pages being careful not to damage the aging book. Words flashed through in pieces as she moved through the time line of events left behind by her great-grandfather. Curious, she started to linger over an entry partway through the diary.

  Her grandmother interrupted her focus by placing a hand on top of the text, limiting Lizzie from going further. She couldn’t help but notice how gently her grandmother’s hand rested on the diary. For a moment, it reminded Lizzie of the gentleness with which she raised Lizzie. It wasn’t a figure of speech when Lizzie talked of her grandmother ruling with an iron fist of grace. It was all true. Her grandmother could both take control and induce calm all at the same time. She was doing it again now.

  “Gran, I thought you wanted me to read the diary to learn the great family secret that is lost in its pages. You keep giving me these teasers of information but then stop me short. That can’t possibly be playing by the rules.”

  “I’m making the rules, and the first is to take it one page at a time. You have to read it in order. Understand that my father and his sister lived in a different time. The experiences that they had were guided by the rules of society, and those rules varied from the ones that steady us today. It’s dark, so you need to prepare yourself. It will be hard, but it will be worth it. Knowing how these events affected our family will help you as you face your own demons, just like Abi and Claud said. Just remember that we’re all with you every step of the way.”

  Lizzie glanced at her watch and was shocked at the time. The Tuesday Night Genealogy Gathering had ended over an hour earlier. It was time to head home to Jack. She wanted time to get his questions about the evening out of the way before it got much later. Lizzie didn’t dread sharing the events of the evening, but she didn’t want it to delay her from beginning the diary. As she started gathering her things, she picked up the journal and held it close to her chest. It was hard to believe that such a small object could cause such a stir.

  “I hear you, Gran,” started Lizzie. “I don’t quite understand why you think after all these years I need to focus on working through what happened to Mama and
Daddy. I’ve already done that. The memories just creep up once in a while.”

  Lizzie felt like all eyes at the table were on her. She didn’t understand why this family of friends thought she was their latest project. Didn’t they have dead people to chase?

  “I’m fine. I promise,” Lizzie said with great exasperation.

  “My dear child, you are as fine as a piece of antique china. We just don’t want to see you break like it,” said Blue with a squeeze. “Grab your scarf and jacket. I’ll walk you out.”

  Lizzie couldn’t help but laugh. Once again Blue had managed to bring a smile to her face.

  Lizzie began to make the rounds with hugs and compliments for a lovely evening. As she was saying goodbye, she couldn’t help but realize how blessed she was to have these ladies in her life. They were as special to her as her grandmother, and each represented a different piece of her personality.

  Blue gave her a wink that was as familiar to Lizzie as the hugs that often followed. It was a hint that everything was going to be all right.

  “Let’s go, kiddo,” she said.

  Abi, rose to give her a hug. Holding Lizzie tight, she whispered, “Call me tonight if you want to talk about what you read. I just know that you’re not going to wait until tomorrow.” Lizzie could always count on her to be there when she needed a sounding board for her thoughts.

  “You know I will, Miss Abi,” said Lizzie.

  “Not before she calls me,” said Gertrude with a smile.

  Claud reached out for Lizzie’s hand. Pulling her close, she gave her the warmest smile that she could muster. “I packed you a snack for the road. It would go well with a warm cup of tea as you read.” Claud always thought of the hospitable thing to do, and Lizzie knew that if not for any reason but this woman she would never go hungry.

  Gertrude walked toward her granddaughter. “You have no idea how much it meant to me that you joined us tonight. I am so glad that I can finally share this family secret with you. Knowing that you might have interest in our family’s history is thrilling. It’s sharing what I love best with who I love best.” Gertrude gave Lizzie a hug and a kiss on the cheek. Holding her by the shoulders, she looked at Lizzie for a moment and smiled. “Let’s meet at the park for lunch tomorrow. Under your favorite tree?”

  “I’d love it as much as I love you,” Lizzie said. A simple act of saying goodnight to these four special women made her feel blessed.

  “You know I love you gals, right?”

  Wrapping an arm around Lizzie’s shoulder, Blue piped up. “Darlin’, of course you do. We didn’t give you any other choice.”

  Lizzie and Blue left the church leaving the remaining three friends to close up the Fellowship Hall.

  “Do you think we need to pray for her?” asked Claud.

  “I think she’s in for the biggest ride of her life,” replied Gertrude. “She’ll see that pain and distress that can happen to any family. Her life has been tough, but there is so much more beyond what happened to her parents. I hope the diary shows her that she has to let go or it will destroy her. It’s going to be a tough ride for that child.”

  Abi patted her friend’s hand. “Let’s hope she listens. Let the healing begin.”

  Chapter Seven

  During the drive home, Lizzie was able to calm down and allow her mind to wander through the events of the evening. Besides a mysterious aunt, she had inherited a diary that held scandal and intrigue. It was better than finding a new novel at the library, and it involved her family. It was quite interesting, even if she wouldn’t admit it to her grandmother. She couldn’t wait to get home and throw herself into the diary again. Lizzie needed to discover the secret that her Grandfather Alston hid away so long ago.

  As Lizzie pulled into the driveway, she noticed a faint glow of light coming from the back porch. She knew immediately that Jack had lit a fire in the brick pit. Lizzie could see right through his plot. Her loving husband would present it as a romantic gesture but Lizzie knew the truth. Jack had waited outside so they could talk about the events of the evening. Lizzie maneuvered the vehicle into its parking spot and made her way toward the house.

  “Hey, girl. Back here,” hollered Jack.

  Lizzie rounded the small wooden fence that separated the side yard from the back of the house. She loved watching the sun rise from the side porch, but the brick patio in the backyard was her favorite place to spend time in the evenings. Sitting in front of the fire pit, Jack made himself comfortable on the glider that they kept for nights just like this. It was in the perfect position. The glider sat close enough to the fire to enjoy its warmth but far enough back that Lizzie needed to snuggle deep into Jack’s arms if she wanted to stay warm on a chilly night.

  “It’s feeling kind of airish.” Lizzie chucked over her grandmother’s usual description for cool evenings.

  Lizzie was glad that Jack had chosen this spot to welcome her home. Seeing him in the glow of the firelight reminded her that she was a lucky woman. His strong jaw line and wispy hair stood out even in the dim light. Jack had become more handsome as he aged. Dropping her bags by the back door, she met him on the patio, giving him a kiss before sitting down next to him.

  Jack handed her a warm cup of cider that he had waiting on her.

  “Gran must have called you after I left the church.”

  “Could be,” Jack said with a smirk. “So, was it awful? Did they torture you? Were there dead people there?”

  “It was an uneventful evening,” she said, “except for the zombie that ate the last lemon square. Miss Claud was ticked.” Lizzie was glad that Jack couldn’t see her face clearly in the dim light because her smile would have given her away.

  Jack leaned his head back against the cushion of the glider and laughed deep from his core. “Try telling me the truth this time.”

  “Only if you don’t say ‘I told you so’,” Lizzie said. “It was great. I didn’t realize how much I had missed spending time with those gals. I loved seeing them together, and of course Miss Blue was in rare form. Gran fought dirty.”

  “Not Miss Gertrude! Never.”

  “She was sneaky. She even gave me a bribe to keep coming back.”

  Lizzie set her cider down on the cedar side table as she got up from the glider. Making her way back to her bags next to the door, she called over her shoulder, “Hey, did you know they were giving me the diary tonight?”

  “I may have known something about a little bribery. As a deputy of the law I can claim no part of it. I was just an innocent party to the plotting. I take no blame and accept no responsibility.” Jack raised his glass and winked.

  Blue. Lizzie knew that sneaky old lady had a hand in the planning, but Jack’s wink sealed it.

  Returning with the diary, Lizzie sat down on the glider. Turning sideways to face her husband, she crossed her legs and leaned toward the glow of the fire to look at the diary. Jack stared at his wife. Seeing her happy brought a smile to his face.

  “Gran sent me home with her father’s diary, which you knew was going to happen.”

  “I may have suspected something like that,” replied Jack as he stretched his legs out, crossing his feet on top of the ledge that surrounded the fire pit.

  “Did you know about my aunt, Eliza Gertrude?”

  “When I was talking to Miss Gertrude she gave me a little information on the diary, but she didn’t give me many details. She was an aunt, then?”

  “Yes, she was my great-aunt,” Lizzie answers. “As it turns out, she was the woman for whom we are both named. I suppose she was also the first Lizzie. Aunt Eliza also had a secret. It’s intriguing. It seems that she did something that convinced my Grandfather Alston that harm would come to her or to the family. The second entry alluded to what might be a hidden affair. He caught her meeting a man.”

  “Oh, so your great-aunt was a trollop. A ne’er do well. A woman of ill repute.”

  Lizzie swatted at Jack’s arm. He tried to recoil from the blow but wasn’t success
ful.

  “Hey, I’m her namesake. I’d ask you to be more respectful, sir.” Lizzie giggled in response. She knew he was just trying to nag her. It was working.

  “Yes, ma’am. I’ll note that for the future. Be respectful,” Jack teased. “You seem much happier than before you left. You enjoyed yourself, didn’t you?”

  “I did, surprisingly enough. It was interesting to hear the other ladies talk of their family stories. I can see why Gran loves her meetings so much. I don’t know that I’ll end up being as involved as Gran, but I think I should spend more time asking her questions about her research. Especially about this diary….” Lizzie’s voice trailed off as she looked down at the small book she held in her hands. It felt so heavy, yet so delicate at the same time.

  “What are you thinking, Lizzie?”

  “I’m anxious to dig into the story of Eliza and see how it ends. Gran mentioned being eaten up by our demons. I’m sure it isn’t anything like my mind is suggesting, but it is interesting to imagine. The young man wasn’t one they allowed her to date at the time, but I’m not sure of much else. What if it was a clandestine affair of star-crossed lovers that tore a family apart?”

  “You want her to be your family’s version of Juliet.” Jack smiled at his wife. It thrilled him to see her getting so excited. With the fall coming around, she had been a quieter, more subdued version of the girl he loved. It was such a sad time for her, and she deserved this type of joy every day. “I’ll be your Romeo, you know.” Jack leaned in to sneak a kiss.

  “You are a hopeless romantic, Mr. Clydell.” Lizzie leaned in to kiss her husband, meeting him with a smile.

  “Why, yes, I am, Mrs. Clydell. Now finish telling me about this secret diary.”

  “That’s all there is to tell right now. Alston began writing it in 1934. That’s all I know.”

  “How old was his Eliza during all of this? She must have been a younger sister, right?”

  “Aunt Eliza was in high school at the time. I need to ask Gran what she knows of her, but I would suspect that she was at least fifteen years old. She couldn’t have been too old. It’s just occurred to me that I don’t know much about my family’s past. I feel bad that I never asked about it before. I guess that was Gran’s goal with this diary, wasn’t it?”