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  Covin was so strong, and it wasn’t only because he was saying powerful things but because you could tell from his demeanor and his presence and from the way the crowd was listening to him that he really believed those things. I already knew I had messed up things between us. But just watching him up there doing his thing and motivating a group of unmoved and tired college students made me wish I had him back. Yet I had made my bed. Now I could clearly see how great he was. I was the dummy who had let him go; I knew I didn’t deserve him.

  Covin continued. “So as we remember a great leader who paved the way for us all, let us leave from this place and not let his life, legacy, and love for us, his people, go in vain. If I have to remind you every day, for those of you who signed up to be on the SGA e-mail, I will stay on you like white on rice and tell you all you can do it, you can make a difference, and you are a leader. And I’ll do it. It’s so easy to press one button to send you all a challenging message from my BlackBerry.”

  11

  GOSH

  Being the chair for the Mr. Beta Gamma Pi contest was a lot to deal with. I was responsible for a budget. I had to oversee cochairs and subcommittee chairs. I had to make sure minutes for our meetings were taken so we’d have a record of all decisions. More than anything, I guess the thing I found the hardest to balance was managing the different personalities.

  “Okay, I just wanna know why our big sisters are at our meeting when they haven’t been here for the past three weeks?” Teddi said to me, Evan, Millie, and Quisa as five of the prophytes walked through the door.

  Connie, the one who along with her friend, Kim, challenged the Chapter President not too long ago, said, “What are y’all looking at? What, y’all think we can’t come to any of the meetings?”

  “Well, you haven’t been to any of the others,” Evan said, finding her strong voice now that she was thankfully completely out of love with G-Dogg.

  “We’re here now, so that’s all that matters,” Connie said. “We’ve been hearing the contestants have been dropping out, and nobody has sold hardly any tickets to the event. Y’all got less than three months to pull it off, and it seems like you need our help.”

  Under her breath, Teddi said, “We really don’t need your help.”

  “I don’t know which one of you said something smart, but just to let you know, a Beta can be on any committee at any time,” Connie said.

  “No, no, we’ll be glad for you to help,” I said, looking at my line sisters harshly.

  I motioned for the prophytes to take a seat so we could begin. “Evan, as chair over the participants, could you please give your report at this time?”

  “Yes. I’ll start with the contestants. Just so you know, we are down to ten, but I’d rather have ten hardworking brothers put their best feet forward than twenty only worried about how they’ll look on the runway, you know?” My line sisters shook their heads to agree. Clearly, the other half of the room didn’t buy it—they had pasted frowns on their faces.

  Immediately, Connie raised her hand. I acknowledged her as chair, and she said, “Can we go out and solicit some more guys? Ten people puts us way under the projected amount we were looking to get. In order for us to maintain a healthy profit, each guy is pretty much going to have to double what they were supposed to bring in. And isn’t that a little unrealistic? We’re Betas. We know tons of guys, and they all want to be around us.”

  “Yeah, but we’re not going to be adding people just to add them,” Evan said, standing her ground. “It was hard to find ten at this stage in the competition. It wouldn’t be fair to the ten who remained if we just let people come on.”

  “At this point, we’re not in this to be fair, we’re here to make a profit,” Connie retorted.

  Evan looked at me like Speak up! Chime in! It seemed like I was being hazed by the prophytes—“You better not say anything against what we believe.” So we moved on to Quisa’s section.

  After getting the cue from me, Quisa said, “The guys will be modeling formalwear, casualwear, and sporty attire. This section will be very critical for the young men competing to represent us as Mr. BGP.”

  Erica, a sassy, shorthaired girl I didn’t know that well, said, “So we’re not doing a swimsuit competition?”

  Quisa said, “No, we thought we’d keep it more professional.”

  Erica said, “Girl, we’re a well-known college campus. It’s not like they’re gonna be nude! That’s exactly why y’all not selling any tickets. If they showed some skin, this place would be packed.”

  “We all voted a while back, and we told the guys they would not be wearing swimsuits,” Quisa said.

  “Well, let’s revote so you can untell them,” Erica said, standing to her feet.

  “I’m not untelling them anything,” Quisa said as she stood, too.

  This just became a back-and-forth argument over the swimsuits.

  Teddi went on to give her report about finances, and it was completely bleak. We hadn’t come anywhere close to reaching the goal we wanted for ticket sales or for the money the guys were raising.

  Connie threw up her hands and said, “I don’t even know why you guys are in charge of this. We’re going to talk to the President. Y’all need to let us take over and run this. Just because you had a good idea doesn’t make you a good chair.”

  She looked at me, rolled her eyes, and walked out of the room. My heart was crushed. I’d been giving this project my all. Honestly, after this divisive meeting, my all wasn’t enough. Dang.

  As soon as the prophytes left, Evan came over to me and said, “Oh, you’re just gonna let them run the meeting? You could’ve had our back, Hailey.”

  Quisa, not wanting to add to my stress as I sank in the chair, said, “I know they come off like they own everything and we’re incompetent, but we gotta stick together. And you should’ve told them it was what it was, and if they wanted to join us, fine, but we weren’t going to change the program to please them. By you saying nothing, I don’t know, it was like you weren’t pleased with our plans either.”

  Teddi was over in the corner huffing. Finally, she came over to me and said, “Is that the case, Hailey? Are you not feeling where we are with this program thus far?”

  “Won’t you guys back up and give her some space?” Millie said. “Y’all are drilling her like the prophytes were. We’re supposed to have each other’s back, not throw drama in your sister’s face.”

  “That’s what we’re saying. You should’ve had our backs, Hailey,” Teddi said. “Tell us where you stand with this.”

  I knew I needed to respond. I had been quiet for too long. But in the end, I didn’t want to hurt my girls’ feelings. Maybe we really couldn’t do it alone, and we needed a little extra push. It was time to take charge like I had when we first met with the contestants—time to be a leader over my sands.

  I said to them, “I do think they could’ve been here all along, but you know they were so salty at first because Sam gave us the responsibility to carry out this event. Maybe we are overwhelmed. Contestants have dropped out. We’re losing money. It was said a couple days ago if we don’t sell these tickets and don’t raise this money, we’ll be working hard for nothing almost. So if our sorors can come on board and give us ideas, maybe we can get better results.”

  “They weren’t trying to give us ideas. They were basically scrapping everything we had, throwing it out the window and forcing us to start over!” Teddi screamed. “If they come back, I’m quitting.”

  She and Evan were tuned in with each other on this as Evan joined Teddi’s side and said, “Yeah, me, too.”

  “I’ll quit, too,” Quisa said.

  I just looked to Millie like Help me! There was no way I could do this program without them. They had all been making inroads I wasn’t in on. I didn’t keep up with every detail, because we were a team.

  “Y’all, we can’t quit,” Millie said. However, her soft words made no impact on none of them.

  I got up and jog
ged out of the room. “Connie!” I yelled out. “Could y’all come back here, please?”

  “For what?” she called back.

  “Please just come back. It’s important,” I said, pleading to make a difference.

  “Oh, no! You’re gonna call them back in here after we protested to quit? Hailey, you’ve lost all your cool points with us,” Teddi said as she headed toward the same door through which I hoped Connie would enter.

  “Y’all aren’t going anywhere,” I said to Teddi, finally putting my foot down as I blocked her exit.

  After short moments, I had both sides back in the room. “Okay, I guess I wanna start by saying I appreciate all of you. I didn’t think I was the best person to lead this effort, so whoever said just because you had a good idea doesn’t mean you’re meant to be a chair had a valid point. But I stepped up to be the chair, and I’ve been here all this time, and so have my line sisters. I think we needed help and advice from our big sisters, but, honestly, you prophtyes have not been here. If I recall, you guys haven’t done that many projects, which is why you needed a new, innovative one in the first place. And we have been working hard. I’m sure there’s something we’re doing that you like, and you can comment on and figure out how we can blend the two ideas together to get a successful program. No one side is completely right, and no one side is completely wrong. We’re Beta Gamma Pi, Alpha chapter. We are not divided, we’re united. Can we act like it?”

  Smiles shone throughout the room, and heads started nodding. I didn’t know where we were gonna go from here, but it looked like we were gonna work through our differences for the common good of the sorority. For that, I took a deep breath and was proud of myself for stepping up and being the chair. We all had worth. We all were needed. And it seemed we all were gonna work together.

  I thought to myself, Go, girl!

  Taking charge and exercising leadership in the right way was really working out. We weren’t getting any new guys to participate, but we were going to add the swimsuit competition. I mean, even my line had to admit that the thought of the tasteful trunks on fine, chiseled black men was extremely appealing. And with sorors willing to work together, we can focus on making the event all we want it to be.

  My line sisters were invited to the alumnae chapter’s Collegiate Sorority Meeting Day. My mom had been on me, and she was hyped about their event like the spokesperson advertising for world peace and togetherness. “Hailey, please bring your friends. It’s gonna be a great meeting. We just want to show you guys a little something to love and also expose you to what the alumni level is like. Dress in your finest business attire and be ready for us to love on you all.”

  I guess there was such a long time between when sorors finished their collegiate experience and when they joined the alumni chapter that they were trying to find a way to bridge the gap. Knowing how much this meant to my mom, my line sisters and I went. When we got there and saw the tables full of gifts for the neophytes, we were all smiles—we wouldn’t have gotten a thing if we hadn’t shown up. Not that we had gone there to get something, but we were pretty psyched to receive any type of paraphernalia.

  However, all the excitement waned not even five minutes after the beautiful ceremony occurred. I thought Alpha chapter had it going on with our properties, candles, and pomp and circumstance. But this alumni chapter had the silk purple and turquoise robes outlined in the glitz and glamour to make you think you were in the presence of royalty. No sooner had we renewed our vow and the meeting officially begun than the President gave a report that sent waves throughout the seats.

  She said, “It’s no secret that I, along with my officers, have been in meetings over the summer with our Regional and National Officers, letting them know we are not in favor of another alumnae chapter coming to this area. Giving up territory we’ve had for more than eighty years is not an option. However, a group is here today who is ready to lobby for the new chapter.”

  The room erupted with many disgruntled noises. A few ladies stood and booed. These ladies were almost ready to fight their own sorors who were trying to charter a new chapter.

  Finally the President hit the gavel and shouted, “Y’all need to calm down. We gotta deal with this. You ladies who live in this area, trying to start another chapter, need recommendations from us to the Regional Coordinator. And my recommendation is we’re not willing to give up that county.”

  My mother was sitting in front of me so I couldn’t see the expression on her face. We never talked about the strife alumnae chapters had. I didn’t know why I thought it was a perfect world and their meetings had no issues. But there was so much grumbling going on, it made our rumblings at our meeting truly pale in comparison.

  “Why do they want the chapter?” a soror stood up and said.

  I hadn’t been a member of Beta Gamma Pi long, but I knew that was out of order.

  Another soror stood up behind her and said, “Well, I’m a part of the interest group’s effort, and we want a chapter because those under y’all’s service area haven’t done any projects out there. While the area used to be predominantly white, things have changed over the last ten years. It needs a presence of its own, and Beta Gamma Pi needs to be out there full time, not partially or in nonexistence like it’s been now.”

  Those two ladies were going head-to-head for a minute when finally the President hit the gavel. But it didn’t do any good because the room got even more unruly. They were sisters, and they were acting like the two rival gangs from the club were trying to truly hurt one another.

  Finally, I just stood to my feet to speak. Yeah, this wasn’t my argument, this wasn’t my battle to fight, but these were my sorors. This was crazy. I needed to end this!

  “Excuse me! Can I say something, please?” I said, waving my hand in the air to try to get the Chapter President’s attention.

  Teddi was tugging on my suit. I shoved her hand off me. I needed to speak to try to calm everyone.

  “Ladies, could y’all settle down and show respect? Let the collegiate speak,” said an alumni lady who sat on the other side of me.

  “I don’t know a lot about what is going on right now, being that I’m a new Beta Gamma Pi member. But I remember about twelve years ago when my mom was a charter member of this chapter. I was serving the ladies tea and drinks, and I would hear parts of the conversation taking place. If I recall, there was another chapter that had this service area, and they didn’t want you guys to have it. And I think, looking back over all these years, even that chapter would admit they were wrong in wanting to prevent you ladies from going forward. Obviously—because look where you are today. So much service has been done. So I guess what I’m trying to say is while it’s tough to give up territory or possibly lose future members, this chapter is growing—it’s strong and thriving. Beta Gamma Pi should be about giving more and expanding. Don’t you wanna make it easier for another chapter than this chapter had it?” Ladies were all listening and nodding, and I personally thought of my own challenges and continued. “Why can’t the newcomer in Beta Gamma Pi ever get support? Gosh!”

  12

  POMP

  When I was done speaking, there was thunderous applause from all parts of the room. I didn’t say what I’d said—from my heart—to get any accolades—as much as I wanted them to acknowledge what I said, take in what I said, and be ready to support growth. However, they kept clapping. At last they settled down, and there was a recommendation from a lady in their chapter not to fight the steering committee’s wishes to have part of their territory charter a new chapter. It was seconded by my mother, and no one opposed the decision; it was unanimously voted upon to help the new effort.

  After the meeting, a lady from the steering committee came over to me and said, “Oh, my gosh. You know, so many times women in chapters don’t say anything because they wanna go along to get along, but sometimes we need to hear from the mouth of babes. You had a fresh, honest perspective we needed to hear. You understand the heart of wha
t we’re about. I’m glad you spoke, told the truth, shared your mind. You did it, soror! And because of it you blessed us to move forward.”

  My mom ran up to me and gave me a big hug and kiss. My line sisters gave me high fives but quickly moved over to the gift table. Pulling me away from my girls, my mom ushered me over to her Chapter President.

  And the lady, who at first had been unmoved about not wanting to give up her territory and share, now had a change of heart and said, “Hi, I’m Soror Walker. Thank you.”

  “For what?” I said.

  “For calling a spade a spade, keeping me honest about what Beta Gamma Pi should really be about in the first place. I had a lot of people over the last few years telling me, ‘Don’t lose territory on your watch.’ I guess I bought into the hype and forgot about the principle that says why giving up territory is the best thing for the new chapter and for us. I don’t know if you’re planning on staying in the area. Your sister just joined our chapter earlier this year. So please consider us as your alumni home. If there is a new chapter, we don’t wanna lose someone like you.”

  I just smiled and said, “Thanks. And thank you for allowing me to speak.”

  Teddi rushed over to us and said, “I’m sorry, but may I borrow her for a quick second?”

  “Yes, sure. Now, you girls know you are welcome here anytime. We don’t want you to just be here because we’re giving out gifts,” Soror Walker said, being the spunky President she was onstage.

  “Yes, ma’am,” Teddi said.

  “Girl, what’s up? You seem frustrated.”

  “We gotta hurry and get back to the chapter room.”

  “I don’t know what you mean,” I said to her, my eyes squinted.