On Your Knees Read online

  Text copyright © 2015 by Stephanie Perry Moore

  All rights reserved. International copyright secured. No part of this book may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means—electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwise—without the prior written permission of Lerner Publishing Group, Inc., except for the inclusion of brief quotations in an acknowledged review.

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  Cover: © Luba V Nel/Dreamstime.com (woman); © Andrew Marginean/Dreamstime.com (brick wall); © Andrew Scherbackov/Shutterstock.com (notebook paper).

  Interior: © Andrew Marginean/Dreamstime.com (brick hall background); © Sam74100/Dreamstime.com, pp. 1, 41, 79; © Luba V Nel/Dreamstime.com, pp. 10, 49, 87; © iStockphoto.com/kate_sept2004, pp. 18, 57, 93; © Hemera Technologies/AbleStock.com/Thinkstock, pp. 26, 64, 101; © Rauluminate/iStock/Thinkstock, pp. 34, 72, 109.

  Main body text set in Janson Text LT Std 12/17.5.

  Typeface provided by Adobe Systems.

  Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data

  Moore, Stephanie Perry.

  On your knees / by Stephanie Perry Moore.

  pages cm. — (The Swoop List ; #2)

  Summary: Determined to turn their presence on the “Swoop List” into a positive thing, five Georgia high school girls face new challenges at home and in school by believing in something greater than themselves, especially their friendship.

  ISBN 978-1-4677-5805-5 (lib. bdg. : alk. paper)

  ISBN 978-1-4677-6050-8 (pbk.)

  ISBN 978-1-4677-6192-5 (EB pdf)

  [1. Conduct of life—Fiction. 2. Interpersonal relations—Fiction. 3. Dating (Social customs)—Fiction. 4. High schools—Fiction. 5. Schools—Fiction. 6. Sex—Fiction.] I. Title.

  PZ7.M788125On 2015

  [Fic]—dc23

  2014025729

  Manufactured in the United States of America

  1 – SB – 12/31/14

  eISBN: 978-1-46776-192-5 (pdf)

  eISBN: 978-1-46777-887-9 (ePub)

  eISBN: 978-1-46777-888-6 (mobi)

  For

  my beaus,

  Samuel Brown

  Fred Bryant

  Oscar Byrd

  Malik Dawkins

  Seth Fallen

  Anthony Glover

  Aaron Heyward

  Dorian Lee

  Angelo Matos

  Brandon Roberts

  Zachary Shelton

  Cedric Trussell

  You are true gentlemen destined for greatness.

  Stay on your knees so that God can take you soaring!

  CHAPTER ONE

  Cohesively (Sanaa’s Beginning)

  “They might be calling us h-o-e-s, but you know where they’re calling us that?” Willow Dean boldly stated, shocking the other four swoop girls at their slumber party. “Not to our faces, that’s where. And why y’all looking at me like I said something wrong? That’s what they’re calling us. We might as well embrace it. Come on, Sanaa, right?”

  Sanaa Mathis was completely different from Willow. Willow was brass. Sanaa was calm-spirited. But this last month had made her tougher than she’d ever had to be before, so she nodded, agreeing with Willow. People might be talking about them, but they weren’t doing it to their faces anymore. The camaraderie that they had formed shut Jackson High School’s bullies, haters, and wannabes up. Sanaa didn’t want to admit that she was now deemed “easy” by her peers. But she was done with being depressed with a list she could not change.

  A month prior, some jerks anonymously wrote a list called “The Swoop List” that held the names of the top five girls in the school who were considered easy. Someone took a photo of the list and put it online. Pretty much everyone at school had seen it now. Sanaa had only been with her boyfriend, Miles. Nobody knew Miles was her man because her best friend, Toni, liked him. Toni had asked Sanaa to talk to Miles on her behalf. Miles wasn’t interested in Toni, though. He was interested in Sanaa, and Sanaa fell for Miles too. Since Sanaa couldn’t break her girlfriend’s heart, as the attraction grew between Sanaa and Miles, she convinced him to keep it a secret.

  However, when the list was revealed, Toni started playing mind games, telling Sanaa that somebody had put her on the list, so maybe it was the guy she was sleeping with. Sanaa didn’t know Toni knew she had a guy. The two of them hadn’t been as tight for the past month since the list came out.

  Sanaa was even more confused when, soon after the swoop list had been released, she caught Miles in Toni’s arms. Or maybe it was the other way around. It just caught Sanaa so completely off guard that she hadn’t spoken to him in weeks. Toni hadn’t reached out to her either, and usually Sanaa was the one always kissing Toni’s behind. Not anymore. Not since Sanaa had been getting counsel from Ms. Davis, the best guidance counselor in the whole wide world, who’d connected all the girls on the list.

  Even though they were from varied backgrounds—Willow Dean, a preacher’s kid who was the most promiscuous; Olive Bell, a foster girl who had been hanging with gang members to make ends meet; Octavia Streeter, the redhead whom Sanaa was still trying to figure out; and Pia Alvarez, the shy Hispanic girl—they still bonded great. Now they were having a slumber party at Willow’s house. It’d been a rough few weeks for all of them. They leaned on each other for support.

  Sanaa’s heart had stopped moments earlier when Pia actually tried to take her own life with a bunch of pills in the bathroom. It wasn’t just the swoop list weighing Pia down. She had been raped, gotten pregnant, and had an abortion. Sanaa realized that, compared to Pia, her life wasn’t so upside down. If she could tell Pia to hang on, she had to hang on and be strong too.

  “Yeah, y’all, Willow’s right. We’ve got to embrace this whole swoop list thing. We wore the sweatshirts today. Everybody knows now we aren’t taking them or the list seriously. They can label us, but we must embrace the label, swoop in, and clean up our lives like we said we were going to do. We will come out better from this whole experience. Willow’s right. They’re calling us names, but not to our faces anymore.”

  “I’m just saying, if another one does,” Willow said, standing up, “it’s on.”

  Sanaa didn’t want to be the leader of the group. Willow wanted that title, but because she was so vocal, the other three girls looked to Sanaa, and she knew they thought of her as a leader. Willow’s phone vibrated, and she immediately got up and dashed away.

  “Sometimes she’s so strong,” Olive said, looking uncomfortable. “I just wonder if all that’s real.”

  “Yeah,” Octavia added. “Willow makes us all think she has it so together, but I believe she’s breaking too.”

  Pia said, “I agree. You definitely should go check on her, Sanaa, because when I was in that bathroom, if you guys hadn’t come and checked on me ... who knows?”

  “Well, I don’t think she’s going to try to harm herself,” Sanaa voiced. Then she locked her gaze with Pia’s and added, “I guess you never know.”

  Sanaa went into the hallway, trying to find Willow. It was Willow’s house, and Sanaa wasn’t used to walking around in unfamiliar places, so she called out, “Willow! Willow!”

  “She went that way,” a younger guy came out into the hallway and said. “I’m her brother, Will.”

  Sanaa felt weird seeing the young guy stare. “Well, it was nice to meet you.”

  Will blocked her path. “Willow don’t have too many friends. I’m surprised she’s having a sleepover. Our parents were too. Y’all know you gotta go to ch
urch tomorrow.”

  “Church? Huh?” Sanaa asked, all confused.

  “Yup. Willow ain’t told you that part? That was the condition of my mom letting y’all stay.”

  “I don’t think any of us brought anything to wear.”

  “We got teen church. You can wear jeans. No excuses. But if you give me a smooch, I’ll tell my mom to let y’all sleep in. She loves me. She hates Willow,” the brat stepped closer and said with bad breath and all.

  Sanaa put her hand over her mouth, and Willow shouted out, “Leave my friend alone!” Willow appeared out of nowhere, yanked Sanaa into the bathroom, and slammed the door.

  “Sorry about my brother.”

  “No, no, thanks for rescuing me.”

  “He’s a wannabe. I told him he needs to sit down somewhere and grow some muscles.”

  “He told me about church,” Sanaa revealed in an unpleasant voice.

  “Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, I was going to tell y’all about that.”

  “We have to go?”

  “Yeah,” Willow said. “Sorry, but it’s quick. Hey, check out this!”

  Willow showed Sanaa the text. It read,

  Dearest swoop girl.

  Now that you’ve been called out and you guys have come together, don’t think that’s all you need to do. That’s a great first step and all, but I know from firsthand experience this is just the beginning. Even though I’m not with y’all, I see y’all. You don’t want to go out like me. Get down on your knees and fix your heart. I’m just saying. You’re an angel.

  Love, Leah.

  Sanaa had first found out she was on the swoop list from a letter from Leah taped to her locker. The creepy thing was that the letter had been written on Leah’s obituary, clipped out of a newspaper. Sanaa and the other swoop girls didn’t really know who Leah was.

  “Why’s a dead girl writing us? Who’s sending us this crap?” Willow asked, but Sanaa had no clue.

  Then Sanaa’s phone went off. Though Sanaa was leery, she told Willow not to sweat it and assured her they’d talk about it later. Then she handed Willow back her phone, so she could take Toni’s call.

  When Sanaa was alone, she said, “Hello.”

  “So you can’t call nobody?” Toni huffed rudely.

  “The phone works both ways,” Sanaa uttered, not backing down.

  “Well, I’m calling you now. Where are you, anyway?”

  Sanaa didn’t really think that was any of Toni’s business, so she didn’t answer.

  “Oh, you hanging out with them heifers? Whatever. You’ll see hanging out with them is only going to worsen your reputation, not make it better. You know that, right?” Toni badgered.

  “Bye, Toni,” Sanaa said, and hung up the phone before she said something to truly hurt Toni’s feelings.

  Sanaa leaned her head against the hall wall. When she didn’t come back for a few minutes, the other swoop girls came out and saw she was upset. She walked farther down the hall for solace, but they wouldn’t leave her alone.

  “Don’t even ask. People aren’t going to understand this group of ours, ya know. But I’m okay with that because you guys are real. Screw what they think,” Sanaa declared, being brash like Willow. She hugged the swoop girls. “We’re bonding and jelling cohesively.”

  CHAPTER TWO

  Disappointedly (Willow’s Beginning)

  Willow felt bad that Sanaa was sad. The well-being of all the swoop list girls weighed heavy on her. They were having fun at the slumber party, but a lot of emotions had come out too. All this concern made Willow unable to sleep that night.

  For the first time in a long time, Willow was thankful to go to church the next morning. She needed her mom to give her a word of encouragement. She dared not let her mom know that. Willow knew that she would be one of the biggest sinners in the place. But it wasn’t just about her anymore. She’d been on the dance team and had a cool relationship with a female or two, but she never had any best friends. This was something new she was feeling with the swoop list girls. They hadn’t even been connected that long, but she didn’t want any of them in pain.

  She wanted to hug Sanaa and tell her, “Forget your best friend. She is tripping. You don’t need her anyway. I’ll replace her.” But she refrained from saying that because it would be too presumptuous. She wanted to tell Olive, “I’m glad you’re leaving the gang member alone. You must be blind if you don’t see your foster brother wants to be your man.” But she didn’t want to pry. She also thought about telling Octavia, “I know you’re white and all, but you’re the coolest white chick I’ve ever met. Quit being a doormat. Stand up to some of these black folks around here who are all bark and no bite.” But she didn’t really want Octavia to stand up to her, so she didn’t offer that piece of advice. And then there was Pia. Sweet Hispanic Pia, who actually was the most truthful with them all. Deep pain makes you vulnerable. Willow simply wanted to tell her, “It’s gonna be okay.” However, Willow didn’t really know if she could get over what Pia was going through if it had happened to her, so she said nothing.

  Willow wanted to earn their trust. She knew the best thing she could do was get them to church, and not just because her mom made that a condition for having the sleepover. No. She knew her mother was prophetic. Willow believed hearing a great word would uplift them all.

  An hour and a half later, they were all sitting in church. Willow’s mother preached, “There is no problem that faith can’t solve. Whether your boss is tripping, your parents are tripping, or your peers at school are tripping, there is One who sits on high and looks down low and wants to heal the deepest sinner. And let he who is without sin cast the first stone. If we each take care of our own house, clean up our own home, and get our own hearts straight, then life will be better. It’s good when you can have friends on this earth to walk with you through the turmoil. But it’s even better when you can look above and know when no one else is there, He is.”

  Willow wasn’t trying to push her religion on any of the other four girls. They hadn’t even talked about if they believed in anything. Everybody was just kind enough to go because that was Willow’s mom’s requirement. Thankfully, Willow could tell as their heads nodded and some tissues were pulled out to wipe tears that all four of them enjoyed it. But she knew, regardless of if they got something out of the message or not, she was sure changed by it.

  “I hope my mama wasn’t too boring,” Willow said, not wanting to assume the message was okay.

  “Are you kidding? That was right on time!” Sanaa smiled and said.

  “I don’t have to have a heavy heart. I can just give it to Him. I don’t know when was the last time I was in church,” Olive voiced with sincerity. “But being here today, I know I need to go more often. Your mom was good.”

  “What she said,” Octavia uttered and laughed as she pointed at Olive.

  “I’m Catholic, but this nondenominational thing was right on time this morning,” Pia told her.

  Just as Willow was about to smile bright, proud that her mom had blessed them all, Hillary, her nemesis from the dance team stepped up to her and said, “If it isn’t the swoop sluts ... oops, I’m in church. I probably shouldn’t say that. But Lord knows the truth is the light.”

  “What are you even doing here? You don’t attend here,” Willow huffed.

  Rolling her eyes, Hillary said, “Neither do they. I’m a guest this morning. Is that alright? Or you think you own the building like you own all the boys you slept with?”

  “Come on, Willow,” Olive said, sensing the drama brewing. “Don’t even waste your time.”

  “Yeah, you better listen!” Hillary blurted out.

  Olive tried to pull Willow away, but Willow jerked her hand back and stepped back to Hillary, yelling, “What? You want a piece of this? You jealous or something, wench?”

  “Jealous of your stank behind? Uh, no!”

  “So why you always startin’ something? Is there something you want from me?”

  “I wan
t you to get off the dance team.”

  “That ain’t gonna happen!” Willow declared.

  “It needs to! You bringing us down. You know there are over sixty guys at our school who are saying they’ve been with you? That’s nasty, and you probably think it’s so cool.”

  “Come on, Willow, don’t let her get under your skin.” Olive yelled out, but Willow wasn’t hearing it.

  Hillary egged on, “No, let her go! You can’t dispute the truth. You can put on your little church clothes instead of the revealing stuff you walk around school in, get some new little friends who are in the same slutty boat as you, sleeping with every Tom, Dick, and Harry. And if you think that’s gon’ make you not what you are, then keep dreaming, because you’re nothing but a—”

  Before Hillary could utter any words of profanity, Willow ran over and socked her in the nose. In Willow’s eyes, Hillary had it coming. A smirk of pleasure filled Willow’s face.

  “Oh my gosh!” Hillary squealed. “Look, blood! What’d you do to me?”

  “Nothing your tail didn’t deserve!” Willow said, standing over her and wanting to hit her even more.

  Suddenly, Willow’s mom appeared and asked, “What is going on here?”

  “Your daughter. She broke my nose!” Hillary yelled.

  “I didn’t break anything!” Willow screamed back.

  Willow’s mom went over and checked the girl’s face. She called over some other people in the church and got them to take Hillary away to make sure she was okay. Displeasure was all in Willow’s mom’s face.

  In front of the crowd, her mother scoffed, “I can’t believe this. You come to church and you fight? With everything I have to put up with you, Willow, I don’t deserve such disrespect.”

  “But Mom, you don’t know what she was saying about me. You don’t know, but she started it!”

  “Did she put her hands on you, Willow?”

  “No, but she was instigating the tension.”

  “And? We’ve talked about this so many times.” She exhaled. “I’m not trying to get upset with you right here after I just preached, Willow, but it’s just one thing after another with you. Assaulting somebody? That’s crazy.”