Blackest Night Read online

  She looked taken aback for a moment, and then her eyes softened, and a small pinch of concern creased her brow. “Have you considered talking to someone, like a professional? I think it might help you to be able to process everything with–”

  “Can we just not go there,” I cut her off. Any day I could go without having to hear his name was better than most. “I don’t want to talk about my feelings and let a shrink sift through my head.”

  She didn’t get the chance to argue further, because a group of knitted hat, scarf, and Ugg boot wearing college girls came in the door. Fall had arrived, and so had the pumpkin spice crew.

  We served them their drinks and three Chocolate Sin cupcakes, which, in my opinion, contained the source of life and were baked with joy and passion and a little bit of sex. They were that good. Anyone who didn’t believe me could listen to the little moans of delight coming from the pumpkin spice table. I called that a cupcake-gasm. They were common around here since Sweet Treats started supplying us with these babies. If Nora or Reggie didn’t watch me closely, I’d eat three in one shift. Zero regrets.

  Cam ventured over from his seat to lean on the counter. “You coming to dinner tonight?” he asked Nora.

  “Probably. Your brother isn’t back from California and it’s been a while since I’ve been out to see Em’s parents.”

  “You bringing some of these cupcakes?” he nodded at the display case and the aforementioned cupcakes. Nobody could resist them.

  “My order is already in at the bakery. I’ll pick them up after work,” she assured him. I tuned out their conversation, assuming Em’s parents were having one of their usual family dinners. They were always barbecuing up something, and this late in September, the weather would be changing fast. It was probably one of their last weekends to take advantage of the grilling weather. I’d been invited on more than one occasion, but I preferred to spend my evenings in with Grandmama.

  My mother’s mother lived with me, or me with her, however you wanted to look at it. Last year, my dad retired from the military and my parents were now the proud owners of a beach house down in the Florida Keys. They went from being on the other side of town to the other side of the country. I think they’d expected me and Grandmama to pack up and go with them They’d tried their best to convince me it would be a fresh start, but here I was.

  Grandmama hadn’t wanted to go either. She was a stubborn woman and I don’t think she was ready to give up the house she’d shared with my grandfather for forty years, right up until the day he died, just before my twenty-first birthday. All the years of smoking while he was in the military and then the cigar habit he picked up in his later years did him in.

  Grandmama’s health hadn’t been the best since he passed. I worried about her being on her own. I think she worried about me for the same reasons. I’d moved in temporarily after I gave up my apartment, the one he’d tainted, and I hadn’t left yet.

  As far as roommates went, I could do a lot worse than Grandmama Mari. She was a spunky old lady. Lots of sass and fire in her. She was sharp as a tack and had a quick wit. Part of her heart was still in Korea, and she’d hung onto a lot of the traditions. She tried to instill them in my mother and me, and we Americanized her, with Papa’s help. He was an American soldier posted in Korea when they met and fell in love. She left everything behind and came home with him to make a new life in America. She was probably the bravest woman I’d ever met. I don’t think I could have done it. Not even for a handsome soldier. And my grandfather had been a handsome man, like a dark-haired Clint Eastwood in his younger years. I missed him, and I didn’t mind looking after Grandmama, even if she thought she was the one looking after me.

  Honestly, I probably got the better end of the deal. She cooked and baked for me, so the little house we shared always smelled wonderful when I came home. In the evenings, we would watch her shows she’d recorded on the DVR. She was an in-bed-by-eight, early bird, so my nights were all mine. Not that I did much with them lately. Grandmama Mari lived a more exciting life than I did, with her knitting club and church socials.

  “You coming, Cassie?” Hearing my name drew my attention back to the conversation.

  “Huh? Oh, the barbecue. No, not this time.”

  “You sure? Nikolai’s going to be there,” Cam teased.

  I glared, earning a chuckle.

  “Someone say my name?” Nikolai came up behind him, his typical smug countenance in place.

  “I was just telling Cam how disappointed I am that I won’t be able to make the barbecue tonight since you’re going to be there.” My lips were stretched in a false smile and my words saccharine, but my eyes were still all stabby, stabby.

  “I’ll bet,” he snorted. “I’ll miss you too, sweetheart.” Then he turned to Cam, cutting me out entirely. “We better get going. I’ve got to relieve James in thirty, and I’m sure he’s already going out of his damned mind. I don’t want to push it, or he’ll be the one we have to protect the client from.” He said “client” like it was some secret that they were running personal security for Norah’s movie doppelganger, Riley James—A-list actress and America’s current favorite sweetheart. She was in town for filming, and word was she might have a stalker. Word also was she and James went together like diesel and fertilizer.

  Before Cam could utter a response, Nikolai’s phone buzzed long and loud in his pocket. He fished it out, and upon glancing at the screen, a deep frown marred his brow. “One second, I’ve got to take this. It’s the ex-wife’s replacement me. Could be about Elijah,” he told Cam and then quickly stalked toward the door as he answered the call.

  I, meanwhile, was left in a stunned state, jaw on the floor. “Ex-wife? You mean someone married him? Although, clearly she was smart enough not to stay married to him.”

  Cam shook his head. “Can you two ever play nice?”

  We had once, for about two hours of flirting, twenty minutes of foreplay and then about forty-five minutes of orgasm after orgasm. Then it seemed he was all out of nice.

  “From what I understand, his ex is a crazy bitch and he ended it, but they have a son together.”

  “Crazy bitch according to whom?” I snorted. “But holdup, you said they have a kid? There’s a little Nikolai spawn out there running around?” I just couldn’t picture it, and I was trying. In my mind, all I could see was Nikolai’s scowling face on a mini version of him, carrying a gun and all tatted up. It was scary to think he’d reproduced.

  “Yeah, but I wouldn’t bring it up if I were you. He’s real touchy and protective when it comes to his kid.”

  So, the guy gave a shit about someone. He was actually human. Who knew? I’d yet to see it. I looked at Norah. “Did you know any of this?”

  She shook her head, and I could tell she was nearly as shocked as I was. “I had no idea. Spencer never mentioned it, but if Nikolai wanted to keep it private, Spence would respect that.”

  Before I could wonder too much more about Nikolai’s secret life, he stormed back in, the scowl on his face even deeper. It was clear the phone conversation had not gone well.

  “Lisa was killed last night in a car crash,” he told Cam, almost like he couldn’t believe it. “You’re going to have to tell James I’m sorry, but I won’t be relieving him. I’ve got to get my ass on a plane to Texas.”

  Two

  Cassie

  At the first mention of Nikolai’s name, my curious ears perked up. I continued to wipe down the espresso machine and pretend not to listen in on Nora’s phone conversation with Spencer. I’d been dying to know more ever since Nikoli dropped his bomb five days ago, and then left for Houston. Someone had actually tamed the Russian Beast for a while. Or maybe she hadn’t and that’s why they split? But now she was dead, and there was a little boy whose world was falling apart. What would happen to him? Was Nikolai involved in his life? Was he a good father or a shitty, absentee one? Would he move back to Houston? He’d only moved up to Washington a few months ago to help Spencer open
and run the new sect of Teller Corp.

  I wasn’t obsessing, just, like I said, curious. I thought I had Nikolai pegged. All lone wolf. The last guy in the world who would do the wife and family thing.

  “Make sure he knows if he needs anything, I’ll do whatever I can to help,” Nora was saying. “What time does their flight get in?”

  Nothing juicy, so I focused on cleaning the portafilters, until a minute later I heard the word investigation leave Nora’s lips.

  Investigation?

  “That’s so awful. They don’t know who or why?” Nora’s eyes shifted to mine, catching me watching her a little to raptly. I looked away, even though there wasn’t much point in feigning disinterest. We both knew it was bullshit.

  When she hung up with Spencer a few minutes later, I kept my back to her. I wasn’t going to ask, even though I was dying to. Nora spared me from having to. “The police are investigating the accident. It might not have been an accident.”

  “What?” I turned around. “Not an accident? Like someone caused it? Someone killed her?”

  “Possibly, but they’re having a hard time determining the cause since the entire vehicle went up in flames.”

  “Shit,” I muttered. That was an awful way to go. “I can’t even imagine…” I shook my head. I didn’t even want to try.

  “I know. Nikolai’s coming back today, and he won’t be alone. His son will be with him. I’m sure they’re both going to be having a hard time with this, so be civil please.”

  “Nora, I know I can be a bitch sometimes, or all of the time around him, but I’m not completely coldhearted.”

  “I know you’re not, but sometimes you use not caring as a defense mechanism. You can be a little insensitive,” she grimaced like that was the nicer of the adjectives that came to mind.

  “Ouch.” That felt a bit harsh.

  “Maybe you don’t even realize you do it. I’m just telling you what I’ve noticed. I think it’s a defense mechanism to keep people away, because you don’t want to let anyone get close again.”

  “Thank you, Dr. Nora, but you don’t have to worry. I promise not to say anything ‘insensitive’.” I turned and snatched up my towel again.

  “Cass,” Nora sighed, “I didn’t mean—”

  “Don’t apologize now. It’s not like you’re wrong.” I scrubbed at the counter a little harder than necessary.

  “Look, we should have a girls’ night soon. You, me, Em, Reggie. We’ll go out and have a good time. I think some fun would be good for you.”

  “I don’t really have time for fun right now.”

  “Cassie, all you do is come to work and go home. When was the last time you did something for fun?”

  “I had to focus on school, and now I should be focusing on getting a real job, or I’m going to be a barista the rest of my life. I need to build my resume and start filling out applications.” I wiped up spilled coffee grounds and thought about how much I didn’t want to be doing this every day. Plastering a fake smile on my face for customers, serving them their coffees, and chai teas, and smoothies, while the ones who knew who I was stood there and judged me. I was just over people. The last thing I wanted to do with my evenings was go be around more of them.

  “It’s one night. One night to hang out with your friends like we used to.”

  “Things haven’t been like they used to be in a long time, Nora.” You got married and Em found Cam.

  God, I sounded bitter even in my own head. I didn’t begrudge them their happiness, I really didn’t. No two people deserved to be happy and leave the past behind them more than those two. It was just hard to explain to them that even though they were getting on with their lives, I felt stuck. I’d graduated in June, which was a miracle in itself. The last few semesters were a struggle, but I’d thought, if I could just get to graduation, I’d be able to start the next chapter of my life. Yet, here I was, three months later, my degree in hospitality and management collecting dust, because now I couldn’t stand the thought of getting into the hotel or restaurant business and dealing with more people.

  I couldn’t keep this up forever, though, no matter how much I loved having Nora for a boss. But Google had failed to turn up any plausible or promising career ideas that required zero interaction with people. Not unless I wanted to become a reclusive writer, and I didn’t. I also didn’t want to die alone with a house full of cats, but Cat Lady-ville was exactly where I was headed if I didn’t get over my trauma.

  I used to be such a likeable and friendly person. I think. Maybe even too friendly when it came to the opposite sex. That’s certainly what was said about me. “Bad girl” gets mixed up with the wrong guy and nobody is surprised. I think half the reason my parents decided Florida sounded nice was because it was far, far away from the opinions here.

  “I’m going to take my break now, if that’s all right,” I told Nora.

  I could see there was so much more she wanted to say, but she nodded. I tossed down the rag and peeled off my apron before slipping outside for some fresh air. The sun was out, but it did nothing for the fall chill that nipped at my nose and fingers. I hugged my arms around me and leaned up against the brick building, letting my head fall back and my eyes close. I breathed in a lungful of cold air and shivered. I watched people on the street, going to and from jobs and appointments and lunch dates and whatever else consumed their days. I wondered if any of them ever felt like I did, like they were just going through the motions and it was all bullshit.

  Was I having an existential crisis? Is that what this was?

  One thing was certain, I was cracking.

  Pink cheeked and nose dripping, I returned to the warmth of the coffee shop to finish out the last two hours of my shift. The only face I was glad to see the rest of the afternoon was Jeannine’s when she showed up to work. It meant I’d survived another day and could go home as soon as Nora finished her office work in the back. Jeannine and I made boring small talk until a couple came in. I let her take their order since she was new and still getting the hang of the register, and then I helped her make their drinks.

  “Enjoy the rest of your day,” she told them as she handed over the hot coffees and we watched them head for the door just as it was being shoved open by someone else. I met a startlingly familiar pair of pale blue eyes. The owner of them was a stranger to me though, but immediately I knew who I was staring at. This strange person was tiny, with chubby, dimpled cheeks, and couldn’t be more than six or seven years old. The dark hair and blue eyes were a dead giveaway. Those were some dominant genes, but of course they would be. His genes probably bullied all the other genes until his took over. This kid could only belong to one person, though the larger version of him was nowhere in sight.

  Mini Nikolai stood there, just inside the door, glancing around apprehensively, until his gaze met mine. Where the hell was his father? I offered him what I hoped was a reassuring smile, and he returned it with a timid one of his own and let the door fall shut behind him. Those dimples came out a little more and I think I might have melted on the spot. He was the first guy to get through the layers of ice and steel with just a smile since . . . well . . . since his father had that night.

  Nikolai burst through the door a second later, a scowl on his face, a scowl which was directed at the little boy who’d turned to look up at his father.

  “Eli, you can’t take off like that. I asked you to wait until I got off the phone.”

  “I’m sorry, but I have to pee bad and you said Aunt Nora would give me a cupcake. Is that her?” He looked back over his shoulder at me. This time his smile was less timid with his father standing behind him. His face was suddenly full of confidence. It must come from knowing that nothing in the world could be scarier than his big, intimidating father. Nothing would ever touch that little boy while his dad was around. All it took was witnessing this little two second interaction between them for me to be sure of that. Fuck, this whole protective father thing only made him hotter and fiercer a
nd . . . I shook those thoughts from my head. They were not what I needed.

  “No, that’s the dragon lady who guards the cupcakes,” Nikolai grinned. The relaxed smile Eli had put on my face, hardened into a glare I shot at his father. He ignored it and looked at Eli. “Do you still need to pee?”

  The kid nodded, and Nikolai pointed at the bathroom off to the right. “The bathroom is right there. Make sure you wash your hands and I’ll see if I can wrestle a cupcake away from the dragon lady for you.”

  “She doesn’t look like a dragon lady to me,” he muttered softly, sparing me one more curious glance, before scurrying off to the bathroom.

  Once he was out of earshot, I returned my glare to Nikolai. “Real cute.”

  “Careful, always scowling like that will give you wrinkles.” He walked up to the counter.

  “But it’s only you that I scowl at,” I replied in a falsely sweet voice.

  He put a hand over his icy heart. “Now you’re making me feel special.”

  “Don’t. You’re not.”

  “It’s true,” Jeannine chimed in. “She really does scowl at everyone.”

  I shot her a dirty look.

  “Well you do.”

  Nikolai covered a snicker.

  “I can’t help it if I have resting bitch face,” I grated out.

  “Pet, I think it’s only resting bitch face if you’re not doing it on purpose.”

  “I’m not your pet. And shouldn’t you go check on your kid? Make sure he didn’t fall in?”

  He shrugged. “He can swim.”

  “Great parenting skills,” I muttered.

  He ignored me. “Where’s Nora?”

  “In the back.”

  “And she left you in charge out here? No wonder there are hardly any customers.” He made a show of looking around the almost empty shop.

  “It’s a slow time of day,” I informed him, annoyed and wondering why I was even bothering to argue.

  “I’m sure it is. Can you go grab Nora for me?”