Chasing Ever After Read online

  Contents

  Prologue

  Chapter 1

  Chapter 2

  Chapter 3

  Chapter 4

  Chapter 5

  Chapter 6

  Chapter 7

  Chapter 8

  Chapter 9

  Chapter 10

  Chapter 11

  Chapter 12

  Chapter 13

  Chapter 14

  Chapter 15

  Chapter 16

  Chapter 17

  Chapter 18

  Chapter 19

  Chapter 20

  Chapter 21

  Chapter 22

  Chapter 23

  Chapter 24

  Chapter 25

  Chapter 26

  Chapter 27

  Chapter 28

  Chapter 29

  Chapter 30

  Chapter 31

  Chapter 32

  Chapter 33

  Chapter 34

  Chapter 35

  Chapter 36

  Chapter 37

  Epilogue

  Chasing Ever After

  Stephanie Hoffman McManus

  This one’s for you guys,

  All of you who have shared your

  Words of encouragement and support on this journey.

  You made it clear after Finding Ever After

  That you wanted more. Here you go.

  Prologue

  “Babe, what are you saying?” I asked, panicked.

  “I just don’t think it’s going to work.” Her words sliced through me like a knife.

  Shit.

  This phone call was not going how I’d planned. “I’ll be home in three months. I know this hasn’t been easy, but I’m almost out. Don’t give up on us now. Don’t throw away six years,” I pleaded.

  “I’m sorry Drew. I’ve been feeling like this for a while. I didn’t want to tell you while you were over there. I wanted to wait until you got home, but I couldn’t let you come back thinking we’re still going to get married.”

  Fuck. How could she do this?

  “Please don’t say that. I love you and I know that you love me. I want to spend the rest of my life with you.”

  “How can you say that? How do you know if you still love me? We haven’t had more than a few weeks together at a time in almost four years. We don’t even know each other anymore. I’m tired of waiting. I’m tired of being alone.”

  I lowered my voice so the other guys around wouldn’t hear the desperation in my voice. “I’ll be back in three months, then we’ll have forever. We can take all the time you want to get to know each other again. I’ll show you how much I love you and how good we are together. We can wait however long you need to get married. I’ll do whatever you want, just don’t give up on us. Don’t give up on me,” I begged.

  “I’m sorry.” Her voice was barely a whisper, but I still heard what came next. “I’ve met someone else.”

  Fuck.

  “I’m so sorry. I didn’t intend for it to happen. It just did. I think we were too young to get engaged. It was a mistake.”

  “No, babe. Don’t say that.” I was fighting to keep my emotions in check. “Don’t say we’re a mistake. I love you. I know you’re the one for me. I’ll show you, just give me the three months.”

  “I’m sorry Drew. It’s over. I don’t love you anymore and I’m moving in with him. I’ll mail my key and the ring to your parents.” I didn’t know what to say to change her mind. I didn’t know how to convince her not to do this. Jules and I had been together since we were juniors in high school and she was acting like that meant nothing. She was leaving me and there was nothing I could do about it.

  “Be safe over there. Goodbye.” She hung up. I slammed the phone down causing heads to turn and look up at me. I didn’t care. I scrubbed a hand over my face and tried to pull myself together. On my way out of the room, I glared at every single one of them still watching me, just daring them to call me a pussy. Nobody said a word as I stormed out of the room and outside into the hot desert heat.

  Fucking desert.

  I went in search of First Sergeant Wheeler. I found him outside and he was more than a little surprised by what I had to say. When we finished our conversation, I went back to my bunk and threw myself down on the shitty mattress.

  Guess I better learn to love this fuckin desert and this shitty ass mattress.

  At least here I mattered. Here I had a purpose, and that beat going back to someone who didn’t want me anymore. I grabbed my mp3 player, shoved my earphones in and cranked the volume up to drown out all the other noise in my head. I didn’t want to think or feel a damn thing. I don’t know how long I laid there, staring at the ceiling and listening to the blaring sounds of Rise Against, before my best friend Damien walked in and grabbed the mp3 player from my hands, successfully yanking the ear buds out.

  “Man, what the fuck are you doing inside? Allen and his bitch Gonzalez are challenging us to two on two. They’re still pissed about last time and want a rematch so get your ass up.”

  “Fuck off. I don’t feel like hoops right now.”

  “What the hell is your problem? Usually you’re in a better mood after talking to your woman. Or is that the problem, too much pent up sexual frustration? Don’t worry, only seventy eight more days ‘til we’re out of this God forsaken, shithole desert for good.” We’d both been counting down the days until we’d be stateside again. We were damn proud to be Marines and had worked our asses off the last four years, but we both had reasons to get back, or at least I did up until an hour ago. Guess now was as good a time as any to tell him.

  “I’m not going anywhere man.”

  His brow wrinkled in confusion. “Wanna say that shit again?”

  “You heard me. I’m not going home. Nothing left to go home to. Jules is moving in with some asshole. We’re over.”

  “What the fuck? Seriously?” I just nodded. “Fucking bitches. Damn fucking whores, all of em.”

  “Shut the hell up. Don’t talk about her like that. She’s still the girl I love, and how can I blame her? I left her for four fucking years.”

  “Yeah, and when the bitch took your ring she knew that. She knew what she was getting into. She agreed to support your ass and wait for you. So yes, you can blame her and if you won’t, I will.”

  I sighed and rubbed my eyes to try and relieve some of the tension that was building there. I wanted to agree with him. I wanted to be pissed. It would be easy to hate her and put all the blame on her, but that wouldn’t do a damn bit of good. It was better for me to just put her and all this shit behind me and move the fuck on. She obviously did.

  “I just want to forget about her.”

  “You really reenlisting?” I nodded and watched him hop up from the bed. I saw the determination on his face. He looked like a man with a mission.

  “Where you going?”

  “Where the fuck you think? I gotta talk to Sarge and tell him my stupid ass wants to stay in this fuckin, miserable as shit desert too.”

  “You don’t need to do that, man. I know you’ve been looking forward to getting the hell out of here.”

  “The fuck I don’t. I’m not leaving my boy behind, and let’s be serious, what the hell would I do? Get a real fuckin job?”

  “I don’t know man. You could pursue your music, get a band together or something like you always talk about.”

  “Maybe someday, but this is the shit I’m good at and you and me are brothers. I can’t leave you behind. Besides, without me to make your ass look good, they’ll figure out real quick that you’re a sorry excuse for a spotter.” He smirked and I knew he was baiting me, trying to piss me off to take my mind off of Jules. It worked. I grabbed the boo
k off the stand by my bed and chucked it at him. He laughed and batted it away.

  “You know it’s the other way around. I make you look good. Without me, you couldn’t shoot shit.” He was the sniper to my spotter and together we made a Scout Sniper unit, and for all the shit we talked, we were good at our jobs. While I wouldn’t admit it out loud, I was damn glad he was staying. There was no one else I’d rather have watching my six.

  “Whatever. How many times have I saved your life?”

  “Probably as many as I’ve saved yours, asshole. You sure about this?” I asked.

  “You know your ass would stay if the situation were reversed.” He was right. I wouldn’t leave him behind. “When I do get out of here and start that band, your ass is gonna play bass. What’s another four years anyway? It’ll just give me a chance to perfect my tan and maybe get a few more battle wounds. You know chicks dig scars and fucking war heroes.”

  He wasn’t fooling me. He could make all the jokes he wanted, but I could read the severity in the lines of his face. He wasn’t doing this lightly. We’d seen a lot of awful shit and survived some pretty ugly situations. We already wore scars to prove it, but we both believed in what we fought for, even when we didn’t agree with our orders. More than any cause though, we believed in each other; the guys over here. They were our brothers, and like Damien just proved, we’d sacrifice anything for our brothers.

  “So come on man, let’s go tell Sarge that I’ve lost my damn mind too. Then we’re gonna beat those little bitches on the court, and afterward we’re gonna get you started on the forgetting. We’re gonna find some alcohol and Marine girls.” That was always his solution for everything, get drunk and get laid, and tonight I wasn’t going to argue.

  This time Sarge wasn’t surprised when he saw us. “I wondered when I was gonna see you Slater,” he addressed Damien.

  “Yeah, you know how much I just love it here, sir. Not ready to go home yet.”

  Sarge knew the truth though. He knew how close we were. “You boys sure about this?”

  “Yes sir,” we said in unison.

  “Alright then.”

  Once it was settled that we would both be sticking around, we did get around to taking on Allen and Gonzalez on our crappy basketball court. After all their shit talking, they left with their tails between their legs and Damien and I went off with some of the other guys from our unit to get wasted. I wanted to forget about the girl who broke my fucking heart and we both wanted to forget about the next four years we had to look forward to.

  We were lucky though, at the end of those four years, we did get to go home. Not everyone made it back. We lost too many brothers, and the guys we were when we went home, weren’t the same ones who had signed up right out of high school.

  Chapter 1

  Ace

  “You ready for this man?” Spade asked excitedly from the seat next to mine. He had his face plastered to the window like a little kid. I tried to peer out over his shoulder and get a peak at the island.

  “Yeah, the wedding will be awesome,” I agreed. We were making our decent onto Maui, and from this height, the beaches and clearest blue-green water I’d ever seen were visible. It definitely looked like Paradise.

  “Yeah, yeah, the wedding will be great, but I’m talking about the sun, sand and all those girls in bikinis. It’ll be like a beautiful girl buffet and I plan to get leied. Get it?” He laughed at his own joke and I just rolled my eyes. I was more than ready to relax on a beach and enjoy my time here, but there was only one girl I had my eye on. She was just two seats in front of me, and yet completely untouchable. The fiery red head had me twisted up in knots. Every time I got close, it was like, well you know that experiment from chemistry class where you mix two chemicals and they go boom, well yeah, it was a lot like that. Something about me made her lose her temper on a regular basis, and maybe it was the adrenaline junkie in me that loved a good rush, but I enjoyed the shit out pushing her buttons. I couldn’t help it, even if it meant most of the time she looked like she wished she could make my head explode by sheer force of will, or give me a hard shove out of a plane, flying high over the Pacific Ocean. It was probably a good thing I wasn’t sitting next her.

  Things hadn’t always been this way though. I’d thought there was something between us, something less volatile, the first time she came to Boston to visit Jax, but she wasn’t on the same page. That was over a year and a half ago and still, after all this time, I couldn’t get her, or our first meeting, out of my head.

  Sadie had arrived in Boston, panicked when Jax wasn’t there to pick her up at the airport and she couldn’t reach her. Thankfully she had Jaxyn’s address and made it to her house where Chris’ dad found her and broke the news of Jax’s attack. That was a rough time for all of us with Jaxyn in the hospital.

  We spent almost twenty four hours waiting for updates from doctors and nurses before they finally let us in to see her. Seeing my colorful girl all bruised and cut up, hooked to all those machines, and being told there was a chance she might not wake up, had nearly gutted me. Ky was destroyed and refused to leave her side. Thankfully Chris and Bas’ dad stepped in to keep him from getting arrested when the doctor had tried to have security remove him.

  Devastated was the only word for how we’d all felt. Vi had immediately flown back from her grandparents’. Jake was there for her to lean on. Lissa took care of Bas. Jax’s brother Shane had his wife and daughter. The rest of us guys had each other, but Sadie didn’t know any of us. She had no one to lean on. I don’t know what it was, but I’d been drawn to her immediately. I just wanted to take away the pain I saw in her eyes. I’d never seen anyone look so utterly sad and defeated, and I got the feeling it was more than just Jax. I hadn’t known her more than a few hours and I just wanted to take her in my arms and make everything alright for her.

  I didn’t mean for things to happen the way they did. I wasn’t trying to take advantage of her, but I wasn’t in the best place; afraid of losing Jax and angry at the bastard that hurt her. I couldn’t control what I was feeling. Sadie wanted to stay at Jaxyn’s, but we didn’t want her to be there alone. When she refused our offers for her to stay at our house, I volunteered to stay there with her.

  That first night, neither one of us was able to sleep. We stayed up talking all night on Jaxyn’s couch. Mostly we talked about Jax. Sadie told me how they’d met and become friends, and she asked a lot of questions about Ky and the rest of the guys. It seemed that Jax had filled her in on us. It wasn’t long before we were talking about the most random stuff, trying to take our minds off the possibility that we might lose the friend who’d come to mean so much to both of us. She was smart and funny, and when I found out she was a musician too, and like really knew her shit, I promised myself I would find a way to get to know her better. It had been such a long time since any girl held my interest the way she did.

  By the fourth night, with still no change in Jax’s condition, Sadie was barely holding it together and I wasn’t faring much better. I’d heard her crying from the guest room where I was trying and failing to sleep, and when I went into Jaxyn’s room, I found Sadie curled up on the bed trying to muffle her sobs in a pillow. I couldn’t stop myself from going to her and pulling her into my arms. Part of it was a need to comfort her that I couldn’t deny, but if I was completely honest, I was just as shaken up and seeking my own solace.

  She clung to me, burying her face in my chest, and for the first time in a very long time I felt something stirring inside of me. Usually the only thing that stirred when I had a girl in my arms was below the belt, and while I felt that too, it was more than that. There was just something about her that called to something in me. I thought she felt it too, and we stayed that way until morning.

  I couldn’t even remember the last time I’d just held a girl in my arms all night, and when I woke up with her sprawled out on my chest, I couldn’t stop myself from running my fingers through her mess of red curls. She groaned and looked up
at me with sleepy, heavy-lidded eyes that were all red and blotchy from crying, but she was still beautiful, and I kissed her. The crazy part is that she kissed me back. I rolled us so that I was hovering over her while my mouth explored hers, and other parts of her body. I tasted her skin all the way down her neck to her shoulder. I can still remember the taste of her and the feel of her soft skin as I slipped my hand under her thin, tank top.

  “Hey man, did you not hear the woman? Fasten your damn seat belt,” Spade’s voice snapped me out of my reverie and I realized we were about to land. I clicked my belt, but I still couldn’t stop thinking about that night. We’d been just about to, but the moment was broken by Bas calling to say that Jax was awake, so of course we’d dressed and rushed to the hospital. I thought we’d get the chance to talk about it later. I felt bad for what had happened, the timing was definitely all wrong, but I sure as hell didn’t regret it and fully intended to pursue something with her to see where it took us. After Jax was out of the hospital, I’d gone to her with the intent of asking her out on a date, but she wasn’t interested. She didn’t hesitate to tell me that what had happened was a mistake she wasn’t interested in repeating. I didn’t get it, I knew I wasn’t alone in what I’d felt between us, but she shut me out and had been cold and sometimes even hostile toward me ever since.

  I tried to convince myself it was fine, no big deal. It wasn’t often that a girl wasn’t interested, but it had happened. I thought I’d forget about her and move on. I didn’t need anyone, especially not some chick I barely knew. Yet here I was, it was going on two years, and fuck if I wasn’t still pulled to her like a damn magnet. What made it so difficult was that there were rare moments when her guard was down and I could see that the whole ice queen bit was just an act. I just didn’t know why she was denying she felt anything, what reason I had given her to hate me so much, enough to ignore this thing that wasn’t going away.