Queenie's Crazy Crush Read online

  Contents

  1. Mr. Smock

  2. Q & S

  3. A Snake in the Grass

  4. Too-Tall’s Spy

  5. New News Is Bad News

  6. Too-Tall’s Great Idea

  7. The First Unveiling

  8. The Opposite Approach

  9. The Second Unveiling

  10. Dinner for Two

  11. Easel Come, Easel Go

  12. The Apology

  13. The Verdict

  14. At Last! Honey-Baked Salmon!

  About the Authors

  The Berenstain Bears and the Big Date

  Chapter 1: A New Face

  Chapter 2: A Name for the Face

  Copyright

  Back Ad

  About the Publisher

  Chapter 1

  Mr. Smock

  Year after year, cubs’ most common complaint about Bear Country School was that nothing ever changed. “How was school today?” a parent would ask. And the cub would shrug and say, “Same as usual.” For the most part, it was true. Same school building, same playground, same classrooms, same blackboards. Same teachers, same staff, same coaches, same principal. Even the same complaints. Yes, that’s right. Believe it or not, Bear Country School’s cubs even complained that their own complaints never changed.

  But change something—change just one little thing at school—and what happened? More complaints! “Why did they move the bulletin board down the hall?” a cub would say. “Yeah,” another would add. “What was wrong with it where it was?” That’s because, down deep, most cubs really didn’t want anything to change. Whether they realized it or not, they found it sort of comforting that the bulletin boards and the bike racks were always in the same place. (Almost always, that is.) And it was also comforting to think that Mr. Honeycomb would always be sitting behind his big wooden desk in the principal’s office and that Mr. Grizzmeyer’s bullhorn voice would always be heard yelling at players out on the football field.

  It was especially comforting that the teachers rarely changed. It was hard to imagine Bear Country School without Teacher Bob or Teacher Jane, or even without Miss Glitch. As much as the cubs complained about having the same old teachers year in and year out, nothing upset them more than a teacher retiring or moving away. And that’s exactly what happened when Mrs. Palette retired.

  Mrs. Palette had been the art teacher at Bear Country School for as long as anyone could remember. And that’s no exaggeration. For it wasn’t only the current generation of cubs that had been taught art by Mrs. Palette. Earlier generations had, too. Papa and Mama Bear had been taught art at Bear Country School by Mrs. Palette, and so had Two-Ton and Too-Too Grizzly. Farmer and Mrs. Ben had been taught by Mrs. Palette, and they were pretty old. Even Dr. Gert Grizzly had, and she was even older. It seemed that everyone in Beartown, at one time or another, had done an art project under the watchful eye of Mrs. Palette or viewed her slide lecture on “Great Works of Art in the History of Bearkind.”

  So it came as quite a shock when, at the close of a school year, Mrs. Palette announced her retirement. Over the summer months that followed, cubs occasionally wondered out loud who the new art teacher would be. What would she be like? Would she be young or old? Tall or short? Strict or easygoing?

  When at last the cubs filed into the school auditorium for the first assembly of the new school year, most of their questions were answered. Seated beside Mr. Honeycomb on the stage was a bear wearing a purple beret and a brown smock-jacket over a purple turtleneck. It was obvious that this was the new art teacher, for the smock-jacket was covered with paint smears. That was something different. Mrs. Palette’s clothes had always been spotless. But there was something else different about the new art teacher that everyone noticed right away. Especially the girl cubs. “It’s a he!” Babs Bruno whispered to Queenie McBear. “The new art teacher is a he!”

  Queenie was staring at the stage as though she were in the middle of a beautiful daydream. At first, Babs thought she hadn’t heard. But after a moment, Queenie murmured, “Yes, and a young he…a young and handsome he…”

  Mr. Honeycomb rose and strode to the lectern. “Good morning, cubs,” he said into the microphone. “This morning I would like to introduce someone to you. We are honored and privileged to have Mr. Smock as our new art teacher at Bear Country School. ‘Privileged’ because Mr. Smock is a fine teacher of cubs. ‘Honored’ because he is an up-and-coming artist whose name will soon be known throughout Bear Country.”

  “Wow!” said Babs, who liked art almost as much as she liked poetry.

  “Cool!” said Queenie, who liked art a lot more than poetry.

  “Mr. Smock has had many of his paintings on display in galleries in Big Bear City,” Mr. Honeycomb continued. “He is currently hard at work on a large oil painting for the Bear Country Museum of Fine Art. And he has graciously promised our students and faculty the very first look at this masterpiece. I would like Mr. Smock to make the exciting announcement personally.”

  Mr. Smock replaced the principal at the lectern. “My new painting is nearly finished,” he said. “I will unveil it at the end of a special fine arts assembly next week.”

  There were “oohs” and “aahs” from a number of cubs in the audience, including Babs and Queenie. But not everyone was so impressed. Ferdy Factual folded his arms across his tweed jacket and said, “Good heavens. The Ego has landed.”

  Queenie, who was sitting in the row in front of Ferdy, turned on him. “Ego!” she hissed. “Of all the cubs who shouldn’t talk about big egos, you’re first on the list! Besides, I’ll bet Mr. Honeycomb talked him into it.”

  “I can’t imagine why you’re so impressed with this fellow,” said Ferdy. “If he’s such a big shot in the art world, then what is he doing here teaching a bunch of cubs how to make collages?”

  “You heard Mr. Honeycomb,” snapped Queenie. “Up-and-coming big shot.”

  Now Too-Tall Grizzly, sitting two rows behind Queenie, spoke up. “Oh, he’s a big shot, all right. He just shot off his big mouth about his great unveiling!”

  “Hey, boss,” said Skuzz. “He don’t need to unveil his masterpiece.”

  “Why not?” asked Too-Tall.

  “’Cause he’s wearin’ it!” said Skuzz. “Ha ha ha!”

  Smirk and Vinnie joined in laughing, but Too-Tall stopped them. “Cool it, guys,” he said. “Teacher Bob’s givin’ us the evil eye.”

  But Teacher Bob wasn’t the only one giving them the evil eye. So was Queenie. “You bums couldn’t tell a masterpiece from a road sign,” she sneered.

  “Aw, come on, Queenie,” chided Too-Tall. “Ya gotta admit he looks pretty ridiculous in those silly clothes.”

  Queenie tilted her head back and looked down her nose at Too-Tall. “I think he looks kind of cute!” she said, and turned back to the stage.

  At first, Too-Tall felt a pang of jealousy that made him sit straight up and glare at the bear at the lectern. After all, Queenie was his on-again, off-again girlfriend. Naturally, it bothered him whenever she called another guy “cute.” But then he settled back in his seat and relaxed. She got me again, he thought. She just says those things to make me jealous. Besides, Mr. Smock was just a teacher, not another cub….

  Chapter 2

  Q & S

  “All right, cubs, settle down,” said Mr. Smock. “Let’s get started.”

  Teacher Bob’s class was having its first art period of the year. Every year, Mrs. Palette had started with her slide lecture on “Great Works of Art in the History of Bearkind.” But this year would be different. No slide projector or screen had been set up. Instead, the art room was ringed with a dozen easels.

  “We’ll be working with a
number of different materials over the course of the year,” said Mr. Smock. “But since I’m a painter first and foremost, we’ll begin with painting. By the end of the year, each of you will complete an oil painting. You’ll be glad to know that I will supply you with oil paints, brushes, canvases, and everything else you’ll need. But today we’ll paint with watercolors. I want you to take turns at the easels painting anything that interests you. Then we’ll have a look at each painting.”

  The cubs busied themselves with painting. Near the end of the period, each cub in turn held up his or her painting for the whole class to see. Some were good, others not so good. But Mr. Smock found something encouraging to say about each one. Almost each one, that is.

  When Brother Bear held up a painting of a football player, Mr. Smock said, “Good strong brush strokes. Obviously, Brother is interested in sports.”

  Babs held up her portrait of William Shakesbear. “Fine,” said Mr. Smock. “You’ve got the shape of the head just right, Babs. Would I be correct in guessing that you’re interested in poetry?” Babs nodded.

  Ferdy’s painting showed a bear holding a test tube in a science laboratory. “Excellent attention to detail, Ferdy,” said Mr. Smock. “From the tweed jacket and knickers your figure is wearing, I’d guess that this is a painting of you as a scientist.”

  “Wrong,” said Ferdy icily. “It’s my uncle, Actual Factual, the great scientist, in his laboratory at the Bearsonian Institution. Of which he is the director, I might add. Of course, the painting might well have been of me, since I often do high-level work in my uncle’s lab.”

  “I see,” said Mr. Smock. “From your painting, I’d say that you’re interested in science, Ferdy. And from your explanation of it, I’d say you are also very interested in yourself.”

  The other cubs all laughed. Ferdy, with a shrug and a yawn, put on his best bored expression.

  Skuzz had done a painting of a frowning face with a black eye. “Hmm,” said Mr. Smock. “Skuzz must think of himself as kind of a tough guy.”

  Too-Tall’s painting was exactly like Skuzz’s, except that the face had two black eyes instead of one. “Too-Tall must be a friend of Skuzz’s,” said Mr. Smock. “And his interests appear to run along the same lines.”

  Smirk and Vinnie held up identical paintings. Actually, they weren’t paintings at all. They were blank sheets of white paper. “Well, well,” joked Mr. Smock. “Here we have a couple of landscape paintings—of the North Pole.”

  Smirk made an obnoxious noise like the “wrong” buzzer on a TV quiz show. “Sorry, Teach,” he said. “Only Vinnie’s is of the North Pole. Mine is of the South Pole.”

  “Yeah,” said Vinnie. “We didn’t want to paint the same picture.”

  “I see,” said Mr. Smock. “Obviously, you two are interested in making fun of new teachers.” He looked straight at Smirk. “And from the goofy expression on your face, I can see why they call you Smirk.”

  That got another laugh from the rest of the class. Smirk even blushed for a second.

  Queenie’s painting was last. Wearing a dreamy smile, she held up a picture of a big bulging heart with a Cupid’s arrow through it. In the center of the heart she had printed Q & S.

  “Hmm,” said Mr. Smock. “Can you all see how Queenie has made the heart three-dimensional by painting it darker here and lighter there? Very well done, Queenie.” Queenie beamed. “And I think it’s pretty clear what Queenie is interested in: a cub whose name starts with S.”

  Bonnie Brown leaned over to Brother and whispered, “What’s interesting about that is that her boyfriend’s name begins with T!”

  Brother looked over at Too-Tall. He was staring at Queenie’s painting with teeth and fists clenched. “Uh-oh,” whispered Brother. “When Too-Tall finds out who S is, that cub’s gonna be in big trouble.”

  “And until he finds out,” said Bonnie, “every boy cub whose first name starts with S is gonna be in big trouble!”

  Chapter 3

  A Snake in the Grass

  No sooner had the Too-Tall gang exited the art room than Too-Tall backed Skuzz up against the hallway wall. “All right, Skuzzo,” he snarled. “Got anything you wanna tell me?”

  Skuzz looked quickly at Smirk and Vinnie, then back at Too-Tall. “Whaddya mean, boss? Tell ya what?”

  “Well, now,” said Too-Tall. “Let’s you and me pretend we’re Nerdy Ferdy and his uncle and figure it out with logic.”

  Skuzz’s knees started to shake. “Uh, er…okay, boss,” he stammered. “Which one am I? Ferdy or his uncle?”

  “It don’t matter, dummy!” growled Too-Tall. “All that matters is the logic!” He put his hands on his hips and pushed his nose right into Skuzz’s face. “Now, let’s see. Queenie just wrote Q & S on a big heart with a Cupid’s arrow through it. That must mean she’s got a crush on somebody whose name starts with S. Right?”

  “Uh…er…yeah, boss, I follow ya,” said Skuzz.

  “Good. Now, Queenie’s my girlfriend. But her new crush ain’t on me. How do we know that?”

  Skuzz thought hard. He was sweating as well as shaking now. “Er…I know, boss…’cause your name don’t start with S!”

  “Right! You ain’t as dumb as I thought, birdbrain! Now, listen up. Since she’s my girlfriend, Queenie hangs around us gang members a lot. And you are one of those gang members. And your name, ‘Skuzz,’ starts with an S. And so does ‘snake in the grass,’ which means a guy who tries to steal somebody’s girlfriend!” Too-Tall’s left hand still rested on his hip, but now he had bunched his right hand into a huge fist and was holding it right in Skuzz’s face.

  “No, boss!” cried Skuzz. “It wasn’t me! I swear! I don’t even like Queenie!”

  “You what?” roared Too-Tall.

  “No, wait, that came out backward, boss! I meant, she don’t even like me! Yeah, that’s it, boss…that’s what I meant! She’s always liked Smirk better than me…. Hey, wait…Smirk starts with an S, too!”

  “That’s right, boss!” said Vinnie. But Smirk had nothing to say. Because Smirk was nowhere to be seen.

  Too-Tall lowered his fist and looked around. “Where is that little snake in the grass?” he said.

  “I’ll bet that’s exactly where he is,” said Vinnie.

  “Where?”

  “Out hiding in the tall grass at the edge of the football field,” said Vinnie.

  “Let’s go,” said Too-Tall.

  “What about Teacher Bob’s class, boss?” asked Skuzz.

  “Gang business before school business,” was Too-Tall’s decision.

  Moments later the three gang members were at the edge of the football field, standing before a patch of tall grass and weeds. Raising his voice enough for anyone hiding in the grass to hear, Too-Tall said, “Watch out when you walk through this tall grass, guys! Sometimes snakes hide in it!” And with that, Too-Tall walked into the tall grass and motioned for the others to join him.

  The three of them stomped around in the tall grass. Pretty soon there was an “Ouch!”

  “Well, well, what have we here?” said Too-Tall, grasping Smirk by the collar and pulling him from underfoot. “It’s a snake! A big brown furry snake!” With one huge hand he held Smirk at arm’s length. “What’re ya doin’ down there in the grass, Smirk? Collectin’ ants for an ant farm? Huntin’ grasshoppers for your lunch?”

  Smirk shook even harder than Skuzz had earlier in the hallway. “I…I g-got scared, b-boss…when I realized my n-name starts with S….”

  Vinnie decided it was time to rescue Smirk. Bravely he stepped up to Too-Tall and whispered in his ear: “He didn’t do it, boss. Think about it. How could Queenie ever prefer that little whimpering fool to you?”

  “Hmm,” said Too-Tall. “You’ve got a point there.”

  “Sure, boss,” said Vinnie. “Skuzz only pointed a finger at Smirk to get you off his own back. Look at him. He’s still shakin’!”

  Too-Tall looked from one shivering gang member to the other. He lowered
Smirk to the ground and let go. “Sorry I lost my temper, guys,” he said. “I shoulda known neither of you bums would have the guts to steal my girlfriend. But we still have to find out who did!”

  “You bet, boss!” said Vinnie. “How about if you take the sixth grade, Skuzz takes the fifth, Smirk the fourth, and I take the second?”

  “What happened to the third grade?” said Too-Tall.

  “‘Second’ begins with an S!” said Vinnie.

  “So does ‘stupid’!” bellowed Too-Tall. “So maybe I should question you! Look, there’s no way Queenie’s gonna get a crush on a second grader. I think we should concentrate on fifth and sixth graders. She goes for the older cubs.”

  “Yeah, like you, boss!” said Skuzz.

  Vinnie gave Skuzz a puzzled look. “But his name don’t start with an S….”

  Chapter 4

  Too-Tall’s Spy

  Too-Tall and the gang put their plan into action immediately. In the school halls, at recess, and on the way home, they cornered every older boy cub whose name started with S. There was a lot of shaking and quaking before they were through. But not one of the cubs would admit to being Queenie’s new crush. So the next morning, before Queenie arrived at the schoolyard, the gang questioned all of her girlfriends from Teacher Bob’s class. Maybe she had told one of them who S was. But…no luck.

  “I think we’re going about this the wrong way, boss,” said Skuzz.

  “What d’ya mean?” said Too-Tall.

  “Queenie must have a secret crush, boss. That means Queenie is the only one who knows who it is.”

  “So what do you suggest I do?” asked Too-Tall.

  It would have been logical to suggest that Too-Tall go up to Queenie and ask her who S was. But when it came to Too-Tall’s feelings about Queenie, logic wasn’t much help. Skuzz, Smirk, and Vinnie all knew there were only two bears in all Bear Country that Too-Tall was afraid of. One was his dad, Two-Ton. The other was Queenie. He was always afraid that Queenie would get mad at him for something. And prying into her secret crush might just be one of those things. So the gang was taking no chances. They tried hard to think of some other way of finding out who S was.