Gift of the Beast: Holiday Starrs Read online

  Shea had no doubt meant it to be a friendly, comforting touch, and here Garr was reacting to it like one of those creepy men who hung out in bars and preyed on women. If he hadn’t gotten out of there, he knew that he would have tried to touch her back – kiss her – breaking whatever tentative bond had formed between them.

  Garr had never had a friend before. He’d never even bonded with anyone of his kind. They all had their own lives, like Zeriq. Sometimes, Garr felt like he was the only one who couldn’t quite move on with his life after Krezlian captivity. He was free now, but in a way, he still lived in the past, isolating himself and not integrating with normal life.

  It was difficult, but he didn’t want to ruin this thing with Shea. Whatever it was. He was beginning to suspect that he wanted more than friendship with her. Garr wasn’t very good at reading emotions, even his own. Still, even if he was right and he did indeed want more with her, it could never happen.

  He had been right to try to stay away from her initially, but now that he was in this mess, there was nothing he could do but try to bear it.

  Garr knew about relationships between men and women, but women had never been interested in him that way. They were more likely to scream in terror than swoon and fall into his arms like they sometimes did on those strange Earth television dramas. He’d never actually seen it happen in person, but he’d experienced plenty of women jumping to the other side of the street or steering clear of him when they saw him.

  It was his appearance that deterred them. His horns. His pitch-black eyes. His scars.

  Garr rubbed a particularly nasty one on his chest. Sometimes, he could still feel the torture in his dreams.

  Zeriq had just as many scars as he did though. He had horns, and looked nearly identical to Garr. And Hazel was still attracted to him. Mated to him.

  Garr pushed that thought firmly out of his mind.

  Zeriq was nothing like Garr. He was different. More outgoing. Freer with his life. Most importantly, Zeriq talked. It was just as his psychologist had said. Garr was too damaged. Too damaged for the Alliance. Too damaged for a female. His scarring went beyond what the eye could see.

  Although Garr liked to think that he had gotten through life just fine without speaking, he was now starting to realize that maybe that wasn’t the case after all. There were things he was missing out on. It wasn’t just the Alliance military that wouldn’t accept him as he was.

  Shea was kind to him, but it didn’t mean anything. She was just more accustomed to the Ezak-X because her sister was mated to one. She might entertain a friendship with him, but never anything more. He could never have anything more.

  But he’d already known that. He had never even considered being with a female, so why did Shea make him yearn for more?

  Garr realized he needed to take what he could get and be grateful.

  It was the first thing you learned as a slave of the Krezlians. Take what scraps you could find and be grateful that you had even that much. Asking for more only got what little you had taken away. Everyone made that mistake once, but only once. Garr wasn’t going to make it again. Not with her.

  He would keep her close, but if her occasional smiles and laughter were all he could have, that’s what he’d take. He wouldn’t push for more. Which meant he had to stay in control.

  Garr sat down on a frozen bench by the entrance. The snow became uncomfortably cold as he sat on it for long, but he could handle it. The wind howled in the background and as the storm raged, the snow started to pile on his shoulders. It made the hair on his body stand on end, but Garr didn’t care. He didn’t trust himself to go back inside.

  He was tired from an unusually draining day. Garr didn’t regret offering Shea and Lila a drive, but it was exhausting being around people for so long, no matter how kind they were. It was especially exhausting when they were talking, though strangely, Garr had found himself opening up more than ever before.

  Still, he dearly wanted to sleep. But he knew he wouldn’t be able to. This area wasn’t secure. If he fell asleep here, out in the open, there was no way to know if someone was approaching him. In the blizzard, he wouldn’t hear it.

  Inside, someone would have to bash the door down to get to them. Garr would be safe to sleep there, but that wasn’t an option.

  He considered going into his car. At least it would be warm if he turned it on. But he had never enjoyed being trapped inside the tiny box of metal for long periods of time. First of all, if someone attacked him, he wouldn’t have enough space to defend himself properly. And second of all, it reminded him too much of the small cages the Krezlians had kept him in.

  Given that, he truly had been insane to offer to drive Shea and Lila. Though, strangely, with them in the car and keeping him company – as tiring as it had been – those memories hadn’t risen to the surface.

  He wasn’t about to lock himself inside the tiny cube alone though. So, he settled down on the bench to wait out the night.

  It wasn’t a pleasant prospect, but he’d had much worse. Every now and then, Garr got up to pace, to relieve the stiffness in his muscles. His eyelids didn’t so much as droop, so at least he didn’t need to worry about keeping himself awake.

  Garr focused on his surroundings. If someone tried to approach him stealthily, he would know, and he would have them.

  Throughout the night, he used the mental tricks he had learned during his time with the Krezlians. They would often leave you hanging for hours, never knowing when the torture was going to start again.

  Garr played games in his mind, pretending that his current situation didn’t exist while still keeping a vigilant eye on his surroundings. It was a delicate balance, one he had become a master at over the years. It allowed him to rest, despite being awake.

  The sun rose slowly. Garr couldn’t see it through the snow, but he could tell it was rising because the cold became slightly less biting. Eventually, the storm ceased, and he watched as the streaming sunlight made the snow sparkle all around him.

  Soon, Shea and Lila would wake up, and they could continue their journey. Before they could do that though, he should probably get back to the hostel. His desire was long gone, and he felt safe enough to share a meal with Shea and Lila before they set off.

  He heard Shea’s voice inside the hostel, talking to some of the other guests who were already up, asking where he was. Garr listened. He loved the sound of her voice, even though she sounded frantic right now. Why would she be so worried about where he was? Surely, she didn’t think he had driven off and stranded her and Lila here?

  Garr was about to get up and reassure her when Shea came outside. Her eyes zeroed in on him sitting on the bench at once.

  “Garr!” She ran to him and got right up close, but stopped short of actually touching him. “Oh my God, are you okay?”

  Garr nodded. Couldn’t she see that he was okay? He wasn’t hurt or bleeding. To demonstrate his continuing health, he stood up, showing Shea that all of his muscles were working properly. Snow cascaded off him and onto the ground.

  Shea looked at the pile of snow around him. “You didn’t stay here all night, did you?”

  Garr nodded again.

  Shea clapped her hands over her mouth, horrified. Her eyes were wide and frantic as she looked at him. “Oh, Garr, I’m so sorry! I messed up. I don’t know what came over me. I never should have touched you like that. You’ve been so good to us, and I went and took advantage of you.”

  Garr blinked. What was she talking about? Why was she sorry?

  Garr knew that a misunderstanding like this couldn’t be cleared up by nodding or shaking his head. He thought out his words carefully.

  “Not your fault,” he said. Her touch had actually been nice – too nice. Even just the thought of it made his cock stiffen again.

  Shea bit her lip. “Are you sure? Why did you stay out here then?”

  Two questions at once. Garr wasn’t sure how to reply, and he tilted his head. He decided to answer the la
tter. “To cool down.”

  She looked at him oddly. “It was too hot in the room?”

  Not too hot. Not exactly… His face started to heat up in embarrassment as he recalled the way he’d left. And what he’d felt at the time. Even now, with Shea standing before him, the feelings started to come back and his cock rose to full length.

  Garr ignored it.

  Shea clearly expected him to say something, so he repeated his earlier words, trying to reassure her. “Not your fault.”

  Shea sighed. “Thanks, Garr. That’s very kind of you. I don’t know whose fault it was if not mine, but I’m not sure I understand the situation entirely. I’ll be sure to be more careful in future regardless. Are you still okay to drive us? I’d totally understand if you didn’t want to anymore.”

  Garr nodded his head. Of course, he would still drive them. He didn’t do things halfway, and he wanted to be helpful.

  “Thanks so much.” Shea smiled at him. “I’m so sorry you felt you had to spend the night in the snow. I was waiting for you to come back, but I must’ve fallen asleep.”

  She still looked upset about the situation, but Garr shrugged. “I’ve had worse.”

  Besides, the cold didn’t bother him nearly as much as it would a human, even if it was uncomfortable. And staying indoors with Shea would have been the more uncomfortable option for him. Already, his cock was aching after mere minutes in her presence.

  He’d meant his words as reassuring, but Shea’s look of horror was back. “Just because you’ve had worse doesn’t mean you need to subject yourself to things like this. You deserve to be warm and to be able to sleep somewhere comfortable.”

  Garr blinked in surprise. No one had ever told him that he deserved nice things. Did he? Is that what she thought? He looked at Shea with wonder bordering on reverence.

  “Mommy! Look!” Lila’s voice emerged nearby and they both turned in her direction. The child had picked up a pile of snow in her hands and was throwing it around.

  “Lila!” Shea ran to her daughter. “I told you to stay inside, in the lobby.”

  “But there’s so much snow outside!” Lila ran around in the snow, shouting in glee as she kicked it up with her little feet. She noticed Garr and rushed to him. “Garr! Are you playing in the snow too?”

  Garr shook his head, but Lila seemed to take little notice of it. She bundled some snow into a loose ball and threw it at him.

  Garr started. If it was anyone else, he would have viewed it as an attack, but the thought of this little girl attacking him was ludicrous. He looked at Shea for an explanation.

  “Sorry.” Shea said with an apologetic expression. She reached out as if to touch him and brush away the snow, but she pulled her hand back. “She wants to have a snowball fight. That’s where you make snow into balls and throw it at each other, for fun. We need to get going though, right?”

  Garr stared at the child and the amount of joy the fallen snow seemed to have brought her. Though she seemed to be a happy child all the time, he’d never seen her quite this ecstatic about anything yet. It would be a pity to deprive Lila of the chance to have her fake fight when she looked so excited about it.

  “Your parents’ house…” he said to Shea. “It’s not far.”

  Garr’s cheeks flushed at the long sentence. He found himself talking more and more around Shea, but despite his uncertainty, she didn’t look at all annoyed. On the contrary, she looked delighted by his words. She seemed to understand immediately what he meant, and her expression brightened.

  “You think we can stay for a while? That would be great!” Shea looked at Lila who was happily playing around in the snow. “I guess now that we aren’t trying to make it to New York by nightfall, there is no real rush. That is… If it’s fine with you that we stay for a while?”

  Garr nodded, his chest warming at the expression of happiness on Shea’s face. Maybe he should try to speak more often around her. She and Lila seemed safe enough. Garr couldn’t imagine either of them trying to hurt him.

  Shea nodded. “Alright, Lila. We can play for a while, but we still have some to make it home for dinner.” She turned back to Garr and added, “I’ll make sure to keep you out of the snowball fight.”

  Garr didn’t want to be left out of the fake fight. He wanted to do something fun. He was horrible at doing fun things, and this seemed like a good opportunity to learn. He watched Shea and Lila for a few minutes as they threw clumps of snow at each other, laughing and running around.

  Once he was sure he had determined the rules of the game – there didn’t seem to be any – Garr leaned down and collected a clump of snow in his own hands. He packed it into a tight ball and tossed it gently at Lila.

  Lila stumbled and shrieked. For a moment, Garr’s heart plummeted. Had he thrown the ball too hard? But as she rose from the snow, she laughed and didn’t seem to be hurt. Garr heaved a breath of relief. He hadn’t thrown it too hard.

  Grabbing some more snow, he aimed carefully and threw another clump at Shea. She also stumbled a bit but didn’t seem harmed by his slightly harder throw.

  “Get him, Lila!” Shea screamed with a smile.

  The two of them teamed up and both targeted him. They were no match for Garr, though. He could pack snow, aim, and fire faster than either of them. And unlike Shea and Lila, he never missed.

  The two of them put up a good fake fight though. Despite his size, Garr was able to dodge and weave around their strikes easily. But since it was a fake fight and the balls didn’t hurt, he allowed some of them to hit him, which was celebrated with laughter and cheers from Lila and Shea. After a while, Garr couldn’t help the smile forming on his face either.

  By the time the fake fight was done, Garr barely had any snow on him, but Shea and Lila were soaked. They took their defeat in stride, laughing as they wrung out their clothes. Garr smiled to himself. He liked the sound of Shea’s laughter – Lila’s too, for that matter. He had actually had a good time.

  He was a little surprised but grateful that he was able to take enjoyment out of something innocent and normal. He’d begun to fear that he didn’t have that ability.

  Garr gestured for Shea and Lila to follow him inside. He wanted them both to take a shower and get warmed up. Humans were so much more sensitive to the cold than Ezak-X, and he’d noticed Shea in particular shivering toward the end of the fight. He didn’t want them to catch a cold.

  Once Lila was bathed, Shea had a quick shower, and then the three of them went down for breakfast, which was thankfully still open. Garr listened to Lila as she chattered while she ate. The human child intrigued him. She talked a lot and was excited all the time.

  In other words, she was Garr’s exact opposite. He couldn’t bring himself to be annoyed with her, no matter how exhausting her questions got, because she was so sweet and endearing all the time.

  All three of them ate heartily from the buffet, having worked up an appetite with their energetic fake fight. Once they had all emptied their plates, Shea stood.

  “I’ll just get everything packed up,” she said. “Would you mind watching Lila?”

  Garr would be more comfortable doing the heavy lifting himself while Shea stayed with Lila, but perhaps she needed a bit of a break from company? Garr could see that she loved her daughter dearly, but even Shea needed a break sometimes. He had come to realize that Shea had a lot on her hands, taking care of her daughter. Being a parent was clearly a tough job, but it was useful. He wanted to give her what she needed, so Garr nodded.

  “Thanks!” Shea smiled, and Garr’s heart leaped in his chest.

  The moment Shea was gone, Lila started in with her questions. “Why don’t you speak a lot? Mom said I shouldn’t ask you, but I think she’s just being silly.”

  Garr shrugged. He couldn’t possibly explain years of torture and trauma to Lila. She was too young. Despite what the Krezlians had made him go through from a young age, he had since then learned that children in the rest of the universe were treasured
and sheltered. Even if he spoke, he couldn’t have told her that.

  Trying a different tactic, Lila switched the topic. “Why did you sit outside all night?”

  Garr shrugged again. Lila pouted, clearly unhappy with his lack of communication. Garr didn’t want to see her upset, so he tried to pull himself together. The least he could do was answer the curious child’s questions.

  “I don’t mind the cold.”

  Lila lit up, clearly excited to have gotten an answer out of him. “Why not?”

  “I feel it less than humans.”

  “Why?”

  This conversation was quickly becoming too much. Garr wasn’t used to talking a lot. Although he considered Lila and Shea safe to talk to, he wasn’t used to it. So, he simply shrugged.

  Lila smiled and took his hand. “I like it when you talk.”

  Garr found that he didn’t mind the contact from her. He smiled at her, and Lila smiled back. The scent of lavender and honey entered his nose and he turned to look for Shea. He found her watching the two of them at the entrance of the breakfast room with a tender expression on her face.

  “I see you two are getting on well,” she said. “Shall we get going?”

  “Mom! Garr spoke to me! He used sentences!” Lila beamed at Garr like he was a well-behaved pet. But coming from her, Garr found that he didn’t care. The child’s excitement was contagious.

  “That’s great, honey, but you should let the poor man be quiet if that’s what he wants.”

  Lila pouted again, and Garr patted her head gingerly.

  “Sorry,” Shea said softly. “I know she can be a bit much at times.”

  “She is sweet.”

  Now, Shea was the one beaming. “She is, isn’t she? I love that child to bits.”

  Garr nodded his agreement. Lila was indeed very lovable. He gestured toward the car.

  “Yes, I’ve got everything packed,” Shea said. “Let’s go.”

  Garr nodded and led the way to the parking lot. The streets were still covered with inches of snow, despite the sun starting to warm the ground. He would still have to drive carefully, but it wouldn’t be dangerous as long as he was watchful and didn’t go too fast.