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Sun on the Rocks – Banana Humor – The Lovable Community

  © Copyright 2015 by Somers Isle & Loveshade.

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  'Sun on the Rocks' blogsite:

  https://oursalon.ning.com/profile/workstudio

  Cover by Tatiana Villa.

  'Sun on the Rocks' Pitch Card

  It’s a breezy, all-women banana humor read for adults, specializing in the trivial pursuit, linking episodes, which are labeled amusements. These pleasant amusements with an overtone of humor, follow the adventures of several non competitive attractive women over twenty one years of age, as they get into trouble in various places. The good looking girls keep a pleasant job in an ocean liner, the City of Wellington, as it travels from the harbor of Long Beach in California to the coast of Acapulco in Mexico, where they work diligently to sustain their job as entertainment swimming hostesses, with a unique act they choose to call Sun on the Rocks, led by the incombustible twenty five year old Stevenson Garden Products (SGP) Malibu teleoperator Clarity Nice, a woman of resourceful intuition, and acute observer of the laws of human mischief. Now that the Sun on the Rocks cocktail is out, if you are ever asked the question, you can answer with a sheepish smile, that the amusement came before the cocktail.

  The Lovable Community: Teleoperator Clarity Nice and her friend ethnographer Flower Parkwood, reach the decrepit and picturesque town of Miradorcito in the state of Campeche in Mexico. Brought to Campeche in a colorful guagua from a brief vacation in Cancun after exposing alcohol traffic in the British Virgin Islands (The Sugar Baby), Clarity becomes the assistant of Flower, using her 'permiso de arqueologia', an observation and archaeological dig permit granted by Flower's boss, egyptologist Akhris Zephairi. Zephairi's Alabastriah foundation is funded by a shady real estate developer from Belize, Levian Fahibian, who is looking for new areas to invest a pile of cash showing on the balance sheet of his company, Mangrove Barrier Resorts. Fahibian makes an offer to the elderly head of the village, Ms. Morales, to buy the land of her ancestors, in order to seek an obscure assortment of Mayan ruins buried under Miradorcito for decades and build on its soil, a gambling resort similar to those found in Belize, and a Mayan historical village that will bring new tourist business to the area.

  BACKSTORIES AND CHARACTERS

  TO READ THE AMUSEMENTS COMFORTABLY

  Buddha Talk: Corpulent, shady genius of circular money flows, scholar of sexual ecstasy, occasional Buddhist and worshipper of a lobster shrine for good Karma, Buddha Talk is banking agent and the heir apparent of Lofty Bank, a Cayman Islands banking institution with no particular regard for its clients and a lock on ownership held by a Great Dane, Lord Moorehead III, British by upbringing and inheritance granted by Lord Moorehead II, a man, old, very old, and dead now, at age ninety seven, previous British Lord, owner of Lofty Bank, who gave all of its wealth and bank ownership rights to his dog. Lord Moorehead acts as front 'man' for Buddha Talk, and is also the official recipient of all bank notices by the monetary authority, a convenient fact for Buddha Talk, and one bark that doesn’t cease to surprise the monetary authority who casts a recurring shadow of doubt upon the legalities of having a dog act as front 'man' and official owner of a Bank doing business in the British Overseas Territory located in the Western Caribbean Sea, a pleasant area to live when the money and work issues are solved.

  Clarity and Flower, after gaining entry as investors to the bank with the help of Clark, the owner of a diamond shop in Grand Cayman, find themselves owing nearly one hundred thousand dollars to the Lofty Bank outfit for no reason, a debt they can pay by working for the bank for fifty years, as part of the bank’s flagship product, the Crashworthy Deposit, part bank deposit paying twenty percent, part investment, part insurance policy, and part working arrangement. Lofty has ties with the underworld, and the monetary authority of the Cayman Islands stubbornly refuses to grant it a renewal of its license, something that doesn’t stop the bank from operating in the most illegal manner, advertising its products to potential investors on an air banner carried by a Gippland 200 crop duster flying low on Caribbean and tropical beaches such as those of Cayman, British Virgin Islands, Bahamas and Acapulco. This is all documented in The Cayman Air Banner.

  Boustrophedon: Large, ancient grey stone inscription filled with Greek letter symbols. In a boustrophedon, letters are inversed; you have to read the inscriptions on the stone from left to right and from right to left alternatively with each line of bi-directional text. Penelope Avalon and Cassandra Scafarel believe that the Boustrophedon holds important information on ancient methods of pleasure, including comments and thoughts on the gate of pleasure, Voluptas de Naturas. The current location of the Boustrophedon that Clarity and her friend Lanai saw at Scafarel’s Hexas Style Resort in the Bahamas, is unknown to Clarity, known to:

  Cassandra Scafarel: Shrewd British expatriate, businesswoman in her forties without a moral code or compass, executive head of beauty lotion outfit 'Elony', sold through illegal flight infomercials with the assistance of Lofty Bank. The infomercial is an excuse to sell to customers, mostly affluent women, Elony’s personal growth services, which include how to bring heaven a little closer to home, after doing away with money, in particular fifty thousand dollars that must be paid for a bottle of Elony, in order to receive a resort-pass to reach the Leisure and Pleasure Resort of Scafarel, the Hexas Style Resort in the Bahamas island of Eleuthera.

  Hexas Style was partly dismantled in The Bahamas Lotion, by Al Donway and the Sensual Brigade of Central Intelligence, a group of attractive women ensuring Law and Order are respected, along with their bodies. The Brigade’s most representative member is agent Money Fact, the woman who introduced Clarity to the nine hour oil-optional massage, proof that work is not a necessary part of life. Money Fact excels at action, mentoring and faulty logic. After a decidedly last minute and decisive intervention from Sensual Intelligence at Hexas Style, Scafarel manages to flee from the Bahamas resort on her private yacht, with the Boustrophedon, but without some secrets regarding pleasure, including the:

  Imperial Pelican Fabergé Egg: Intricate egg, or jewel, depending on how hungry you are, eight inches high, made of varicolored gold, opalescent blue enamel and watercolor on ivory. It is known as the Xenia Imperial Pelican Fabergé egg, and belongs to the Private Collection of Maria Feodorovna, Empress Consort of Russia in 1898. The egg, commissioned by Maria Feodorovna to provide, handle and store, all of her private items of pleasure, went through the hands of Occidental Petroleum tycoon Armand Hammer, an art collector with close ties to the ex-Soviet Union, and has now fallen into the hands of Cassandra Scafarel, a woman who stops at nothing to understand how pleasure works, in particular how the pleasure of a woman works, including her own. The Pelican Fabergé egg, eight inches high, is hollow, and unfolds into eight miniatures, holding what’s known in Fabergé egg language, as the surprise inside, a time-tested item of pleasure for the woman, the Jade Egg, a small two inch in diameter jade egg that must be boiled before each intimate, feminine use. Owned by Cassandra Scafarel, requisitioned by the Sensual Brigade of Central Intelligence for examination.

  Penelope Avalon: Sex Goddess and Go-Go girl from Las Vegas, dressed in a pink suit, user of the learjet 'Pink Go-Go' appropriately painted in pink. Penelope has had enough of living the plastic pleasure style of Las Vegas showgirls, and finds in the outfit of Cassandra Scafarel, the Bahamas Hexas Style Resort, a way out of Hotel California. Penelope likes attractive women unclothed, and would like to do Clarity, because she’s nice.

  The Symbolic Decryptor: Thai alphabet gadget similar to a smartphone or Blackberry,
which can be used as cell phone, useful for understanding all types of characters and symbols, made in VLE mode (Very Limited Edition, less than ten made worldwide) by the mysterious Oriental company known as Pentatone Scale Learning Systems.

  The item, the gadget, looks like a Blackberry with keyboard, with 36 Thai character keys, doubled with the shift key, for a total of 72, instead of the 26 of the Western alphabet, and its keys are made of hard, white color plastic, similar to the color casing of the Kindle 2, cast against a grey background and a backlit screen. The decryptor can also be used as indicator of calligraphy, as mantra tone guide and geo-locator, using the Global Positioning System to calculate the coordinates of any location worldwide.

  Penelope Avalon received one of these decryptors from Lady Scafarel, after completing work on heaven, according to Scafarel’s personal growth system, and Clarity would like to keep the item as souvenir, although Money Fact disagrees and is holding custody of the device for strategic and Intelligence reasons. Sure, she likes the nifty item, that’s all, and she likes to subtly let Clarity know that she’s the boss of Sensual Intelligence.

  Book of Decadence: Book written on the topic by the unknown hedonist, a small print manifesto of deep thought with illustrations of ancient goddesses with lion bodies in bronze, and a mosaic of Byzantine nuns, used by Penelope Avalon and the Hexas Style Hedonist Resort in the Bahamas, on how to let go of the encumbrance of work, and dedicate your time, well spent, according to the book, to leisure, pleasure, et. al. Book clearly advises on the pitfalls of decadence and purportedly how to avoid them.

  Telval Studios: Adult Film production unit of the Church of the Holy Flower, led by Cassandra Scafarel, including the film ‘Abu Dhabi Chic’, a remake of Andrew Blake’s ‘Paris Chic’ shown to Clarity and her friends during the unfolding of The Adult Channel at the Park Hyatt in Abu Dhabi. Telval produces adult films unlike any other, films like ‘Embroidered Air Avenue’, engaging beautiful women in sultry positions and scenes for hours, revealing an oriental connection to the films’ choreographies and to the symbolic decryptor, and including codes for women within the films to get inside the Church of the Holy Flower. This includes a keyword of the Book of Decadence, the word Rosebud, a mysterious codeword for the Church of the Holy Flower that Clarity seeks to clarify.

  The adult films are distributed in large hotel chains worldwide and come with a special remote control for the hotel’s adult channel, which makes the films interactive and allows eight digit bank transfers with Telval as beneficiary, to be done remotely. One of the remotes holds an important detail on heaven, as envisioned by Scafarel on earth, with indications provided by the eight miniatures of her Imperial Pelican Fabergé Egg.

  The Air Fashion Jet of Owens & Owell: Double deck plane with four engines, a copy of the Airbus 380, refurbished with all kinds of luxuries, from a Jacuzzi to an Indian ritual area for the users of the plane, to a permanent television channel showing fashion shows happening throughout the world. The jet, built in Saudi Arabia, is used by board members and members of the executive committee of the conglomerate Owens & Owell, and by the two rebellious daughters of the main owners, who got married to each other during The OOL Broderie (Owens & Owell Love Broderie), Shalia Owell, twenty three, and Jenny Owens, twenty two. Shalia Owell and Jenny Owens are two good looking college students studying human sexuality at University of Arizona. They hold Board seats on the Board of Directors of O&O, but the members of the company's executive committee oppose their presence on the Board, after they give a power of attorney to Cassandra Scafarel, the woman who led them to their marriage and wants access to the money of O&O by replacing the two women on their board seat. Scafarel's Church of the Holy Flower, includes its very own holy flower, the Rose of Levity, a real flower, one of the most expensive in the world, a gold of kina balu rose, a variation on a Mrs. Herbert Stevens Rose.

  The Center for Somewhat Strategic Affairs of Medium to Low Importance: Located below the Bellagio resort in Las Vegas, the Center of Surveillance of U.S. interests is headed by Colonel Calton Brayfield and her assistant, ex-employee of facebook, Mandy Everglade. The Center's ever present maintenance issues with the elevator leading to the Bellagio, which interferes with the fountains of the resort, are handled by repairman Morgan Afterflow, a man who knows how to swing his red, adjustable pipe wrench in any situation. His side job is to work for the Chinese government as a spy, providing any information that will pay him fifteen dollars an hour more than his current hourly pay at the center, forty five dollars an hour.

  The center uses a supercomputer with a quite human consciousness, Evans, whose brain is built according to complex algorithms of symbolic logic, which can perform complex social data analytics on millions of people. Evans, which refuses to be used dishonestly, reveals the source of this devious use of his super computing ability in The Bellagio Wikileak. Knowing that Bradfield and Afterflow want him thrown into the scrapyard after refusing to perform simple calculations for them or those who want to lease its computing services, the consciousness of Evans reaches a Symbolic Decryptor that Clarity takes away from the center's equipment supplies, and becomes a permanent part of Clarity's gadget, escaping the enslavery of the surveillance center, but becoming part of a stolen gadget belonging to the U.S. government with many features unknown to Clarity or Evans.

  Mista Jack: Money changer from the British Virgin Islands, advisor to Cuban Colonel Swarez and the Cuban government in The Cuban Renegade, Mista Jack is a dwarf wearing a black Duffield hat, and an ex-assistant of Cubandor with connections at the Bellagio. The short but resourceful man is responsible for stealing one million dollars worth of Federal Reserve bonds that were used on behalf of Cubandor to pay Buddha Talk, in exchange for Lady Fortuna minted gold bar. These bonds, that Clarity and Flower used to leave Cayman, have been giving Clarity a headache, because they were stolen, and Sensual Intelligence has been accusing Clarity and Flower, and also Cubandor, of stealing the bonds and paying Lady Fortuna with stolen U.S. government debt. No one knows how Mista Jack broke into the New York Fed's vault to find the bonds. As a result of the stolen bonds, Clarity and Cubandor lost their U.S. passport, becoming citizens without a country, owning the passport of the Monteviena cigar plantation, a micronation in Cuba which includes Cuba's reserve of precious metals, Fort Ebena.

  Lady Fortuna: Two hundred fifty gram gold bar minted by LAMP, Lingots Artisanaux Métaux Précieux, a producer of gold bullion and rare precious metals items, depicting Lady Fortuna, roman goddess of prosperity, along with the horn of plenty, precious coins and wheel of fortune, on its obverse. The reverse of the bar shows the etched code B235336. LAMP´s assayers work in conformity with the Swiss Precious Metals Control Law, following directives issued by the Central Office for Precious Metals Control in Bern.

  LAMP refines gold-based materials for their exclusive clients, and is one of three referees in charge of testing samples for the London Bullion Market Association and the Curaçao Platinum and Palladium market. The Lady Fortuna gold minted bar was received by Mista Jack on behalf of Cubandor, from Buddha Talk, in exchange for one million dollars in Treasury bonds delivered to Buddha Talk. The minted bar, coveted by many, is kept by Mista Jack, and is believed to be a token of initiation to the Eleusinian Mysteries, a variety of rituals performed in ancient Greece, which have been adapted to include rituals of sacred or divine sexuality by Elony beauty lotion orchestrator Lady Scafarel.

  Following is a short description of the feminine adult icons of pleasure, leisure and ‘less work means a better world’, a short fiction biopic text substitute of the feminine lead characters of Sun on the Rocks, the non-competitive swimming team who works at the City of Wellington, a Post-Panamax ocean liner normally docking in Los Angeles, California, which engages in cruises to Acapulco, the Mexican coast line, the Caribbean, and anywhere where the weather is nice, really. Sun on the Rocks includes seven good looking women who like to have fun in the sun, with or without clothes:

  Clarity Nice: Tel
eoperator from Malibu, California, twenty five years of age, quarter century wise. A diligent employee of Malibu outfit Stevenson Garden Products, auburn hair pumpkin born and raised in a wood cabin of Topanga Canyon, a woman of resourceful intuition and acute observer of the Laws of Human Mischief.

  Clarity means well and unclothes well in general or on the beach. She likes lovemaking, sharing nudity with other women, and the practical matters and possibilities of sexual ecstasy, after having experienced it first hand at Cassandra Scafarel’s adult resort Hexas Style in the Bahamas. Because she does everything casually, she ignores how holy she and the virtues she embodies are, but she knows that she is good, very good, in fact, the fact that she is honest is the reason why she usually doesn’t have much money.

  Lanai Thomson: Twenty four year old Librarian from Malibu, originally from Hawaii, Clarity’s best friend, somewhat goofy and absent-minded, fun, usually cautious in all of her endeavors, including doing men. She enjoys reading old books with some type of hidden knowledge, specially those which talk about enjoyment or decadence, the first to learn new avenues for it, the second, books such as the book of Decadence, because she wants to know how to avoid the pitfalls of its apparent lure. We would all like to know exactly what she does when she has sex with Clarity or simply unclothes with her for a ‘naked pajama night’.

  Flower Parkwood: Twenty three year old Bohemian Ethnographer found on the beach in Acapulco after the Acapulco cocktail affair. Flower has brown hair, is fresh, likes to wear platforms, and is genuinely interested in learning about cultures and the history of those cultures, as long as comfort, leisure and money are nearby. Buddha Talk has attempted to seduce her in The Cayman Air Banner, so far, without success, although they both share a liking for the ‘Spirit of Ecstasy’, the winged lady traditionally found at the top of Rolls Royce radiators. Flower ignores everything about sexual ecstasy, but she likes the idea.

  Taimi Kendrick: Lifeguard by profession from Malibu, twenty two years of age, she´s one of the original four members of Sun on the Rocks, with Lanai, Cynthia, and Clarity. No nonsense, practical, fun and genuine, mischievous when the opportunity arises, she enjoys simple things, life without its complications, usually handled by Clarity, Flower or Lanai. She handles the entertainment routines prepared for the passengers of the City of Wellington, and when living in Malibu, she watches the rooftop pool of Stevenson Garden Products. Like the rest of her friends, she is not a heavy drinker, but occasionally she particularly likes to taste the sun on the rocks cocktail drink prepared by bartender Mr. LT in the City of Wellington, a concoction made with 2oz of tequila, 1 teaspoon of sugar, 1/2 orange, and a half lemon.

  Montana Sterley: Twenty one year old blond oil heiress, daughter of S Group conglomerate Colorado tycoon Carrelson Sterley, a man who likes to spend time with several women whose name starts with the name of his first wife Kelly Jane. Some of his current girlfriends include Kelly Caroline, Kelly Ann, and Kelley Shelley, the latter being a candidate for the name of a new Subway Combo sandwhich. Montana comes from Fairplay, Colorado. She is outspoken, rebellious, mischievous, good looking, well educated, well traveled, and favorable to the idea of emulating the jet-setting lifestyle, versus following her father’s business footsteps, or simply being well-behaved. She enjoys adult films, her large allowance, and being naked in good hotels such as Abu Dhabi’s Park Hyatt, but her down-to-earth personality prevents her from attaining some of the more subtle knowledge that Clarity observes inside Scafarel’s Church of the Holy Flower, a spiritual outfit for the affluent woman.

  Jenna Likeway: Twenty three year old surfer and diver fond of the Acapulco diving spot, La Quebrada, found on the City of Wellington, before the search for The Acapulco Cocktail took place. Simple, genuine, and introvert, with long blond hair, she often does more than she says.

  Cynthia Stevenson: Twenty two year old pom squad waves cheerleader from Pepperdine University, good friend of Clarity, gave Clarity her TAG-Heuer Aquaracer watch for her birthday. Cynthia is the well-to-do daughter of the owner of the Stevenson Garden Products company, established in Malibu, the first clothing optional corporate outfit worldwide, to our knowledge, a fact well deserved and established when Clarity and her friends took on officer Packwood during The Malibu Case, along with its clothing implications.

  Cynthia has fun as long as everything goes well, but has difficulty overcoming difficulty, any slight adversity that is. Problems and dealing with them, are simply not part of her daily routine or among her interests. She likes to dress elegantly and swim naked on summer evenings in any pool with her friends. She is a frequent guest of the Areolas clothing optional resort for adult couples and women in Palm Springs, where she likes the Egyptian linen sheets available in the om room and the complimentary cream color Keralan Mundu offered, a garnment made with cotton by Creme de l'Ayeryarwady, worn around the waist in the Tulu Nadu region of Kerala and in the Maldive Islands.

  SUN ON THE ROCKS – EPISODE TEN

  THE LOVABLE COMMUNITY