Fragile Read online

  It’s not like I’m any better. I’m just as closed off as Elliot is most days. Maybe we’re both a little damaged.

  “Scott’s really been working his magic on you, huh?” Elliot’s cheeks pinked but we shared a smile because we both knew what I was talking about. Scott somehow managed to be exactly what you needed him to be when you needed it. For us, he was family. He stepped up to help me with Elliot after the divorce when he was still just a child and I was reeling from the blow. He’d talked me into getting therapy and actually keeping it together for Elliot.

  Scott had saved us. If it wasn’t for him I never would have been able to take care of my son the way that he deserved to be taken care of.

  Elliot had blossomed. Apparently being with Scott agreed with him. I could see it. For once, Elliot was more relaxed and confident. Even chewing on his lip, there was a smile when he stopped and he wasn’t fidgeting all over like he used to do. Maybe Scott, as much as I was still trying to accept it, was exactly what he needed.

  “Yeah. He’s like that. He’s always been like that.” Elliot nodded at the dinner table and I took a seat there. Sitting apart was a bit of a relief. I didn’t want to be right up in his space while I bombarded him with questions about his love life. No need to make things more uncomfortable than they were bound to be.

  “So,” I tried to gather my thoughts. “Have you guys been together this whole time?” I asked. Elliot nodded, the fidgeting coming back as he toyed with his sleeves. I didn’t want to make him uncomfortable, but damn I needed some answers.

  I wanted to be okay with this, I really did, but it was my son and my best friend that was my age which made him double my son’s age.

  Fuck.

  “Just about. I mean, not at first,” he said as he leaned forward. Elliot began chewing on his bottom lip, but he stopped himself before I could tell him to. Sometimes when Elliot got nervous he chewed on his lips till they were red and bleeding. And I didn’t want that. “We weren’t planning on it or anything.” My son shrugged and gave me a pleading look, like he was begging me to understand. “It just...happened.”

  So, they’d been together for a while. That made sense. It looked like he had settled in quite well into Scott’s place and into his life here in L.A.

  It was easy to see how integrated Elliot was in Scott’s life and home now. The art supplies were scattered on the table beside me. And there were baking supplies on the counter. I knew damn well Scott didn’t bake. Elliot had always been the one with the sweet tooth.

  “And you’re happy? Really happy?” I asked as I examined my son’s face. Maybe it was a stupid question, but I wanted to hear it from Elliot in person. He glanced up at me, surprise registering on his face.

  “Yes, Dad. I’m really happy. Happier than I’ve ever been.”

  Somehow every question after that didn’t seem to matter. Wasn’t that what every parent wanted for their kid? From the day I held him in my arms I wanted Elliot to enjoy his life. Even if it was with my best friend. As strange as that still was for me.

  4

  Tom

  I really should have told Elliot to fuck off when he told me the elevator in their building was under maintenance. He and Scott lived on the ninth floor. The ninth! Was I supposed to drag my ass all the way up there?

  “You really need to be a not so good friend,” I muttered. I looked up and saw I was on the sixth floor. My chest burned and so did my thighs.

  I was fifteen minutes late already, but that was about standard for me. Elliot was used to running behind. Not that the damn stairs in his apartment complex were making it better. By the time I made it to Elliot’s front door, I was panting like a dehydrated dog. I absolutely did not fuck with this. I could feel the sweat on my brow and the air struggling to flow through my lungs.

  It’s like I punish myself. Why the hell do I agree to these things?

  Elliot was so paying for this. I knocked on the door still trying to catch my breath and it took a minute before a man opened the door. A large, burly figure glanced down at me while I was still doubled over with my hands on my knees and my vision blurry from the rush of blood. I threw up a finger to indicate I’d be with him as soon as I wasn’t dying.

  Christ, I need to work out more. This is what happens when you only drink liquor and eat chips. That’s it. No more takeout.

  It was a complete lie. I was already planning on picking up a thick, juicy burger and fries on the way home.

  “Hey, Scott—” I finally gathered myself enough to stand up straight and found myself facing someone who definitely wasn’t Scott. He had Scott’s height, but he was leaner. This guy didn’t have a beard or quite the bulk that Scott had either, but he was still muscled in all the right places. Scott was like a lumberjack. This guy? Well he still looked like he worked out but maybe he wouldn’t be able to snap me in half like a twig.

  Maybe.

  I really needed to go to the fucking gym.

  I looked him up and down, my eyes lingering on the muscles in his arms and the broad chest right in front of my face. “Hey, stranger.”

  “Oh, hey Tom!” Elliot came rushing to the door looking a little flustered. I looked back and forth between this new guy and Elliot, trying to figure out what was going on. Actually, he looked kind of familiar, but my brain and body were still trying to stop dying after that hike up Everest.

  “Shit, I totally forgot about our plans. I’m really sorry. Dad, this is Tom. Tom, this is my dad.”

  Ah. Yes, the hot guy from the pictures. Oooh he’s still hot. Definitely not old and crusty. Would it be wrong if I said that out loud? Yeah, Elliot will probably try to kill me.

  “Oh, hello Elliot’s dad.” I grinned and felt a surge of relief when he laughed. At first glance, it wasn’t clear that Elliot and his dad were related. One of them looked sort of like a ballerina and the other looked sort of like a dark web assassin. I snorted at myself for the thought, but it fit, there was this air of mystery surrounding him. He held out a hand and I stared at it for a moment before taking it.

  “My name’s Jack.” His grip was firm yet gentle and the lingering hold on my hand had me intrigued. Or maybe it was how my body came to life under his touch from a single handshake. Okay, I just bitched about my hike up the stairs, but I would climb the man like a TREE.

  “It’s nice to meet you, Jack. And Elliot, we could push back to some other day if you want?” I began to say. Elliot was already shaking his head. From the tension in the air between the two of them, it felt like I had walked in on some sort of moment. Plus, Elliot had been stressing about telling his dad about his relationship for a while now and I was sure that this was partly why he was here now.

  “No, it’s fine. We were just about done talking, too. Come on in.” Jack held open the door for me. I glanced at Elliot and there was relief on his face. It seemed he was done having whatever conversation had started before I arrived. I stepped into the apartment pretending like this was all normal and fine and everything was chill even though it obviously wasn’t.

  “You’re one of Elliot’s drawing friends, right? He used to talk about you all the time.” Jack said as I kicked my shoes to the side and shouldered off my backpack. I looked up at Elliot, who had an expression of pure dread on his face that made me smile. His eyes met mine with a pleading look.

  Come on. He has to know I’m gonna be annoying, right?

  I loved to tease Elliot. Out of all my friends he was one of the last to be phased by my shenanigans. As much as he tried to say he hated it, I always caught him with a grin on his lips later.

  “Yeah! We work together. Your son is pretty fucking good at his job.” I tried to stay casual, but the urge to immediately ask for embarrassing childhood stories was almost too much to resist and Elliot knew it. More than anything, he hated being embarrassed and it was always the funniest shit. The way that his entire face would go red and he would stutter just made me laugh. He was so fucking bashful.

  “He says it’s like
a conveyor belt? For art? What part do you do?” Jack was struggling with words, but I got what he meant. It was a little sweet to hear him actually put in the effort to keep up a conversation that he obviously didn’t understand. Most of his words it seemed came directly from Elliot explaining it to him. The fact that he took an interest in his son’s life? Ten outta ten would bang.

  Cute.

  “Well, I do most of the anatomy. Fight scenes, dance scenes, poses, sex scenes mostly, but I just help around whenever I can.” I kept my voice completely even as I spoke. Digging through my backpack to pull out my pencil pouch and the thick sketch pad that I always carried around with me. From the corner of my eye, I saw Elliot freeze up, his eyes locking on his dad and his entire face turning a tomato red color.

  Was it the sex scenes part? I think Eilliot’s really going to kill me this time.

  I still couldn’t contain the smile on my lips. Was it my fault that it was the truth? What was the big deal about drawing sex? It was fun and I never got tired of it.

  “Oh, I didn’t know. That’s good that you’re able to do a lot.” Jack finally said. I turned to face him and saw the carefully neutral expression on his face. There was something in his eyes though, a flicker. Was that curiosity?

  “Thanks. I try to be wherever I’m needed. Elliot’s been a great part of the team so far, he and I are working on—” I started to say before Elliot slammed into me, cutting my words off before he put a hand on my mouth and began to drag me away.

  “Anyways! Tom and I are going to go draw in the bedroom dad. I hope that maybe we can talk later when Scott comes back home. You should go back to the hotel, unwind, relax. I’ll text you when he gets here!” He shouted right next to my ear, his voice squeaky as he led me backward into the guest room. I heard Jack’s deep laughter from the other room and I could almost imagine him shaking his head

  “Alright, Elliot. I’ll see you in a couple of hours. You and Tom have fun!” Jack called.

  Elliot managed to slam the door with his hand still clamped firmly over my mouth. When he turned, his eyes were accusing and I shrugged. When he still didn’t let go of me I licked his hand. He winced and jerked his hand away.

  “First of all, you’re fucking gross. Second, what the fuck was that for?” He whispered like there was still a possibility that his dad was listening. He took in my smile, but that only seemed to piss him off more.

  “It was a good first impression! Now he knows what type of person I am and I don’t need to pretend to be anyone else. Plus, it probably broke whatever awkwardness y’all were having before I got here.” I could tell from the way that Elliot paused that I was right, but he wasn’t going to let me off the hook that easily. “Come on,” I pursed my lips and patted his cheek. “Don’t be mad.”

  He slapped my hand away. “Why did you have to try to clue him in about what we’re doing together, hmm? He’s already weirded out about the whole Scott thing, he definitely doesn’t need to know what I’ve been up to with you in my spare time.” He muttered, the fire dying out of his voice. I shrugged, opening my pencil pouch and flipping my sketchbook open to a blank page before I plopped onto the bed.

  “Ah don’t be so serious. You’re acting like he’s some kinda saint and he clearly isn’t. Besides, I’m sure he’s aware that you’re not that innocent either. You know, you and Scott. You and Scott fuc—” The project that we had been working on so far was nude sketches. Elliot had only drawn himself and Scott, but they were still pretty damn good drawings and they had been improving his anatomy. It was mostly for his benefit since my anatomy was on point already, but Elliot would be too embarrassed to draw nude figures without some prompting from me, and it was good for him to get some constructive criticism.

  “He learned that literally yesterday! And we just talked about it for the first time so he’s…he’s still getting used to the idea.” Elliot’s cheeks were bright red as he sat down and buried his face in the sketchbook that he dragged out.

  I smirked. “What idea, you mean? You mean the idea that his son is a bottom?”

  “SHUT UP!”

  5

  Jack

  The hours passed slowly. I had packed everything I would need for the week-long stay I had scheduled, and unpacking only took half an hour. Leaving me with nothing to do.

  I’d finished all my work for the next few days on the flight over in hopes that it might give me some more time to spend with Elliot. Everything was done and submitted already. And now I was restless.

  This trip was supposed to give me more time to spend with my son, but he had his own life now. Once again I was left to my own devices, the same way I’d felt when Elliot told me he was moving to L.A. It was crazy early on when Elliot had been younger, I’d always been looking for free time. Being a single parent did that. But now after devoting every waking second to being a single father I had no idea what to do now that I had so much free time.

  The conversation at Elliot’s had been awkward and was mostly me asking questions that my son answered stiffly. The more we talked the more I realized that he was a grown man. It became quite apparent to me that I didn’t really have a place here. He could take care of himself and Scott would never do anything to hurt him. In fact, it looked like Scott had done him good. So, where did that leave me?

  I sighed and dropped down on the bed with a groan. It was still a couple of hours before Scott would return home and we would…What would we do? I wanted to spend time with the two of them, but it felt like I was intruding. Their relationship had grown to be something a bit more private, and my presence there almost felt like I was barging in where I wasn’t needed. Like I was a black mold in their new build.

  “No one said parenting was easy.” I muttered, running a hand through my hair. I come all this way out of this parental need to protect Elliot from the world but there was no threat. There was nothing to protect him from that he couldn’t handle by himself. Or with Scott there to help him.

  Fuck, was I jealous of my son’s boyfriend? That was all kinds of wrong. I wanted Elliot to be happy and he was. So why am I here? I should just go back home? I came all this way, but I don’t know anyone here. At least home is familiar.

  It was tearing away at me. Elliot leaving home had been one of the most difficult things in my life. I worried about him everyday. Now that I knew he was fine, even without me,especially without me, I wasn’t sure how to feel.

  My phone vibrated in my pocket and I snatched it up, hoping for a text from Scott that work had ended early. Or maybe Elliot telling me that Tom had left and we could talk again.

  But it was an unknown number. Just one text.

  Tom: It’s Tom. How are you?

  “Well this is unexpected,” I murmured staring at the text for a minute, trying to figure out how I felt before and if I even wanted to text him back.

  “What the hell, not like you got anything better to do,” I muttered as I replied.

  Jack: I’m doing alright.

  Tom: Well there’s a lot of shit.

  I snort laughed. But what was I supposed to say? I didn’t know the kid from a bowl of rice, I wasn’t about to pour my heart out to him.

  I thought about the young man I’d met, Tom seemed quite the character. Still I couldn’t help but find it interesting and a little refreshing. There was something about a person that said almost everything they thought. I chuckled, yeah, it had been so long since someone actually managed to surprise me the way that he did.

  Jack: It is. But isn’t that what you say...

  Tom: Hmmm, I’m more the say what’s on my mind type… anyway Elliot told me to talk to you. I’m free now, want to meet up?

  That made sense, his son was such a worrier.

  Jack: Is Elliot worried about me?

  Tom: Of course. He is a worrier. Here, I’ll send you the address. See you in half an hour?

  And a map link appeared on my phone. And I shook my head, apparently it was less a suggestion and more a summons. I was intr
igued enough and had no better offers. Tom seemed like the type of guy to do things and plan it out never. Maybe a bit of adventure and spontaneity was what the doctor ordered, especially if my own son thought I needed it.

  Jack: Don’t have any better offers so I’m in. Sick to death of staring at the walls anyway.

  Tom: I’ll see you there.

  I looked down at my phone curiously. Tom. Elliot had talked about him over the years, but he never quite talked about how forward he was. He was a tall kid, almost my height and skinny. His clothes were baggy even though they were probably the smallest size. I immediately liked his eyes and his dark hair. All in all though, he didn’t seem to be all that mature.

  That wasn’t necessarily a bad thing. He seemed like fun. I got dressed and headed out the door thinking about it. Elliot had talked about all of his drawing friends before, but he didn’t mention Tom as much as Connie or Issac, at least not until he moved down here. From what I gathered, Connie and Isaac seemed to be the more professional with Tom being something of a class clown.

  I wonder why Elliot sent him to me. The uber I ordered was waiting at the curb and I got in. I let myself feel the small thrill of being in a new place. I stared out the window, trying to take in the sight of the city that was now my son’s home. Tall buildings, both business and residential loomed over people who always seemed to have something to do. Mostly young people moved around in packs, dressed up in what I could only guess was the latest fashion. The buildings shrunk and shrunk and the businesses were less branded and more, rustic?

  The uber finally stopped in front of a little building with a wooden front and large glass windows. A sign in front said “The Teaspoon Cafe” and most of the people inside seemed to be younger people lounging around. I stepped inside, looking around the scene. Amber lighting gave the place a warm, welcoming feeling, and there was a low rumble of dozens of conversations going on. A long counter sectioned off where the employees made coffee and pastries, but the line wasn’t very long.