Last Kiss Read online

  Last Kiss

  by

  Alexa Sinn

  ©2013

  I see him as I get in line for will call at the 9:30 Club and my stomach flip-flops like it did the first time I met him. I feel sixteen instead of twenty-six. What is he doing here? He looks good. Not good as in, nice for someone approaching thirty, or decent compared to the tired commuters I see every day on the Metro. I mean, he’s fucking hot.

  If he were a stranger, I’d holler at him from my bike, let out a wolf whistle from my Car2Go Smart Car. But he’s David. My high school sweetheart. He’s still got the same dark curly hair and killer blue eyes, but he’s more filled out, more of a man than a boy. As soon as I realize I’m staring, I panic and look away, turning my gaze to someone else in the crowd. It’s too late, and from the corner of my eye I see him approaching. He’s left his place in line to stand behind me.

  “Alexa! So good to see you!”

  Damn.

  We exchange the usual pleasantries. He tells me he’s a semi-pro cyclist out in Colorado now, still dating Elise, the girl he’s been with for years and years. The girl who came after me. I already know all of this thanks to Facebook, but I nod and smile and act appropriately surprised. I’ve finally left my group house for a tiny studio apartment and am dating three guys I met on OkCupid, so I basically have my shit together too. I tell him I’m loving the single life and that my apartment is cozy and charming.

  “That’s great,” he says.

  “Yep, it’s pretty awesome, hahaha.” Nervous laughter. I almost suggest that he should come see the apartment sometime. I think better of it.

  We walk inside together. I remember spending three birthday wishes on us, asking God or whoever was listening to make us happy forever, and I used a fourth wish when the first three didn’t pan out to ask that we’d get back together. It’s bad luck to tell anyone what you wished for, but these were long enough ago that in this case, I can make an exception.

  “So, what brings you back to DC?” I ask as we wait to get our hands stamped. We are over twenty-one, so far over that it’s a little ridiculous, but that’s okay. Josh, the legendary bouncer, killed himself a few months ago. Some young kid is in his place.

  “Oh, just some family business, plus I wanted to catch this show.”

  “Cool cool. How’s your family doing?”

  “They’re doing really well, but I’m actually here to visit Elise’s parents. They’re kind of conservative, so I’m going to ask her dad if I can marry her.”

  I’m stunned. I stare at the mermaid Barbie on the door to the women’s room. I wouldn’t mind being swallowed into the sea at the moment.

  “That’s great. Good luck, David. I’m really happy for you.” I almost believe it.

  “Thanks, Alexa. It means a lot to hear you say that.”

  On the next birthday, the one after the fourth wish, I found myself outside of his parents’ house, my nose about six inches away from his.

  “I dare you to kiss me,” he said, and I would have done it if he hadn’t seemed so sure of himself, so certain I’d take him up on the dare. I was with someone new, someone who took the bus all the way to College Park to see me on weekends, but I would have done it if he hadn’t been so smug.

  And now he’s going to get married. I need a drink.

  “Let’s go.” I weave through the crowd and lead us to the bar. He gets the bartender’s attention and orders two beers. He hands me mine, and I smile. “You remember my favorite.”

  “Of course I do.”

  We’ve missed the opening bands, and there’s a short intermission while the headliners set up their equipment. We need to stake out somewhere to stand. “Want to go up front?” he jokes, tilting his head toward the throng of people pressed against the stage.

  “Sure,” I say.

  My answer surprises him. I had always held back at shows while we were together. He’d wrap his arms around me and I would barely move, feeling so lucky, so thrilled that for some reason he found me fit to hold, so excited for the future, our future. I couldn’t risk ruining the moment, and so I wouldn’t move a muscle.

  David and I push gently around people packed shoulder-to-shoulder to get to the front, and we get there just in time. The band walks onto the stage with a plume of smoke, an explosion of light. A lot has changed since we started coming to the 9:30 Club almost a decade ago, but the excitement of anticipation is the same. I shiver.

  We dance and laugh and sing as the band plays. My teenage self-consciousness is long gone, and I sneak a peek at David, who admires me as I swivel my hips in time with the drums and guitar. The crowd pushes toward the stage, jostling us. I bump into him once and then find excuses to do so again and again, feeling my arm brush against his, goosebumps forming on my skin. He doesn’t seem to mind. It almost seems like he’s doing it too. It could be wishful thinking. During the last song of the set, David grabs my hand and pulls me close for a second before twirling me around. I’m having more fun than I can remember.

  The encore starts after the band takes a short break, and I know my time with David is almost over. I want to ask him to grab a drink with me after the show, but the threat of rejection is too high. He’s probably staying with his family, and they’ll get suspicious. He might not want to go with me anyway. Tears sting my eyes as the band starts to play one of our old favorite songs, and I throw all of my energy into singing along, my voice one of nearly a thousand belting out the lyrics.

  I can’t help looking at David as I sing our line, the one we’d always sang in the car, sometimes seriously, sometimes jokingly, always emphatically. “The city’s been dead since you’ve been gone.”

  He catches my eye and I blush. We’re still looking at each other when the song ends. I think the band’s frontman is saying something into the microphone, thanking us all for coming, but he sounds far away. I only see David.

  “I double-dare you.”

  My heart stops. Did he really just say—? No, he wouldn’t have. “What?”

  “You heard me.”

  And then, we are kissing. His soft lips are against mine, our tongues tangled between us. It is perfect. It is right. It is everything I didn’t know I was missing.

  We kiss for what feels like forever and not possibly long enough all at the same time. We kiss as the band begins to play their final song, as fans join them onstage to dance. We kiss as the crowd disperses, as the lights turn on above us. We are holding each other close, our bodies pressed together. He rakes one hand through my long hair. His flannel shirt is soft. I can feel his heart beating, or maybe it’s my own.

  David breaks away first. He looks at me, his eyes darting back and forth, scanning mine. I worry for a second, but he doesn’t look unhappy or angry or regretful at all. He looks hungry.

  I’ve seen the look before dozens of times, maybe even a hundred. All I can think is that I’m so thrilled, so happy I can still give him that look. I am sopping, dripping wet. I can feel my excitement soaking through my panties and threatening to spill out from underneath my skirt, to run down my bare legs.

  We are the only concertgoers left. The venue’s employees are sweeping the floor and picking up empty beer bottles.

  “What are we doing?” he asks.

  “I don’t know.”

  “Okay.”

  “My place?”

  “Yes, now.”

  We exit onto V Street holding hands. I’ve run into people plenty of times at shows, and all it would take is one former classmate to see us, one coworker for us to come crashing down. It is all the more exciting. David is staying at a mutual friend’s house, a friend who won’t ask questions. He is all mine tonight.

  There’s no time to wait for the Metro. We need each other, and we ne
ed each other as soon as possible. David hails a cab and we jump in. I give the driver my address. He takes us from the club to Southwest, near the Nats’ stadium, and David and I make out in the backseat. David strokes my thigh as the car moves, using every pothole and bump in the road to sneak his hand farther and farther up my skirt.

  By the time we pull up to my building, his thumb is rubbing my clit, his fingers coated in my wetness. I pull out a twenty and practically throw it at the driver. We scramble out of the cab and race up the stairs to my floor.

  We are laughing as we run down the hall, and I can’t get my keys out fast enough. It’s hard to open the door as David distracts me, but finally, we are inside. I throw my bag on the floor and turn around to ask him to please excuse the mess, but he pulls me in and covers my mouth with his.

  We move toward the bed, still kissing, and I try not to trip as I walk backwards. He sits me down and I fumble for his belt, ready to rip his clothes off, but he stops me.

  “Wait. Let’s slow down and enjoy it.”

  And enjoy it we can. I realize it’s the first time ever that we don’t have anywhere else to be, any parents to hide from, curfews to keep, roommates who might come home from class any moment.

  I lift my arms as David takes off my shirt and raise my hips as he removes my skirt. I look into his eyes as he takes in the sight of me, nearly naked and vulnerable, just like the first time.

  “Wow,” he breathes. “You’re beautiful.”

  He leans in to kiss me again, and I close my eyes. He swings my legs onto the bed and climbs on top of me, holding himself up over me with his strong arms.

  David covers me with kisses that start at my forehead. He kisses my nose, our silly sign of affection from a previous life, and then he moves downward. He kisses every place I like, every place I know he’ll kiss, and then some that surprise me. I gasp as he drags his teeth across my collarbone.

  He unclasps my bra and removes it, sliding each strap down my arm to reveal me. My nipples are tiny and erect, beckoning him. He traces my breasts in lazy circles, moving inward and then outward again to tease me. I grip his arms, thinking please, please touch them. And he does, bending down to lick me slowly with just the tip of his tongue, starting at the curve underneath my breast and moving upward, finally taking my nipple into his mouth. He flicks it and sucks it and bites it gently, rolling the other between his fingers as he does. It is electric, and I arch my back in response, biting my lip to keep from crying out as he continues.

  I’m almost at the point of no return from this stimulation alone when David moves on, trailing kisses down my stomach and above the hem of my panties. I lift myself to help him and he slides them off, the silky lace brushing against my smooth, bare lips and sending shivers up and down my spine.

  David parts my legs and kneels between them, kissing and licking his way up my thighs. When he reaches my pussy, he pauses for a moment and I can feel his hot breath against my skin. He touches the very tip of his tongue against my clit and I moan, thrusting my hips against him in reflex. He quickens the pace, lapping at my clit and thrusting his tongue inside of me, and then drives me mad with long, slow licks. I am rocking myself against his tongue, running my fingers through his thick hair and holding him to me with one hand while playing with my breasts with the other. My muscles tighten and I feel myself getting close as he furiously licks my clit, and all of a sudden I’m coming, moaning his name and collapsing, my body shuddering with aftershocks.

  I watch David remove his shirt as he gives me a moment to recover. His cock springs forward as he pulls his pants and boxers over his hips. He is hard as a rock. I can see pre-cum glistening at the tip, and I long to lick him, to take all of him into my mouth. But he gets back on top of me and slides his length against my slippery cunt. I wrap my legs around him as the head reaches my most sensitive place. He is looking at me, and I meet his gaze. His deep blue eyes seem to see straight through me.

  “Hey, Alexa,” he says.

  “Hey.”

  “I’m so happy to be here with you.”

  And with that, he kisses me and pushes past my entrance as I close my eyes, his cock gliding into me. I can taste myself on his tongue, and I breathe in sharply as he fills me completely. He is a perfect fit.

  I hold his back as he moves in and out of me, feeling his taut muscles in motion. My fingertips find the scar he got one summer when he jumped out of my window, escaping just in time to avoid my parents.

  My breath is ragged as he thrusts into me harder and harder, and I can feel myself coming close again. My muscles tense up and I grip his thighs, pulling him into me as deep as possible. His hair falls into his eyes. He is concentrating, fucking me like never before, like he’s making up for lost time and all the times we’ll never have. He is fast and forceful and going farther and farther with each stroke.

  I circle my legs around his waist and grind against him. The friction against my clit sends me into ecstasy, my pussy tightening and spasming around his thick, throbbing cock. I moan and claw at David’s back, wave after wave of pleasure crashing around me, and my noise and wetness send him over the edge. He is coming too, holding me as he fills me with burst after burst of his hot come.

  We are silent as we calm down, both a little shaky. David kisses the top of my head when I nestle against his shoulder. We fall asleep together, our bodies entwined.

  I dream about the first time he told me. It was January 8th, 2004. It’s kind of pathetic that I remember the date, but I do. With the way he’d been acting, the way he’d said “We need to talk after school,” I’d thought for sure that he was going to break up with me. We went back to his house and started fucking as usual, as we had been for the past few months, but as he moved back and forth on top of me, he slowed down. He stopped completely, resting inside me.

  “Alexa,” he said, his eyes looking almost mournful.

  “Yes?”

  “You’re wonderful.”

  “No, you are,” I replied. It sounds stupid, I know, but I didn’t care. I was over the moon about him. I guess I still am. David stayed still and hard as ever inside me, holding me right at the edge, holding me in his arms.

  “Alexa…”

  “Yes?”

  “I can’t wait any longer. I don’t care if it’s too soon. I love you.”

  “I love you too.”

  We wake up when the sun streams through my balcony doors. “Good morning,” he says as he squints for a moment, his eyes adjusting to the light. I am still snuggling against him, his arm around me. It’s like everything we always said we wanted. I imagine that my apartment is our apartment, that his old tabby cat will jump on the bed at any second, demanding attention.

  “Good morning, sunshine,” I say. “Want some pancakes?”

  “That’d be amazing.”

  I throw on some clothes and get to work in the kitchen, making coffee and adding pumpkin and chocolate chips to my favorite pancake recipe so they’ll come out extra delicious. I’m so domestic. We sit on my couch and start eating at the coffee table.

  “These pancakes are fantastic!”

  “Thanks, David. I guess you always had to sneak out in the morning, so you’ve never experienced the five-star service,” I joke.

  We talk about the past as we sop up the last of the maple syrup and sip our coffees, avoiding the elephant in the room. Elise. But then I look at the clock and realize that it’s getting late. It’s almost noon. As much as I want to ruin things for him, ruin things so I can try again, so we can try again, I won’t.

  “What time are you supposed to meet Elise’s parents?” I ask.

  “Oh, fuck. One o’clock.”

  “Yikes. How are you getting there?”

  “I hadn’t really thought about it. Do you have a car?”

  “No, but I can get one.”

  The nearest Car2Go car is parked right outside my apartment building, and we grab it and start heading toward Silver Spring. I turn the radio to DC101, and for once ther
e’s a good song playing instead of their typical pop-rock trash. It’s almost like the old days, at least for a second.

  We don’t really talk. What do you even say after something like this, after so long? David breaks the silence as we get closer, giving me directions to Elise’s parents’ house. I stop the car about a block away.

  “You should probably get out here so nobody sees you with me.”

  “Yeah, I guess you’re right.” He unbuckles his seatbelt.

  “So, this is it.”

  “So it is.”

  We look at each other. I don’t know what to say, and there are no right words, so I just tell him, “Don’t worry, I’ll keep last night a secret.”

  “I know. Thank you.”

  He’s going to get out of the car and walk around the corner and I’ll never see him again. Elise will walk down the aisle, laugh, smile, cry, kiss him, have his children, build a life with him, and never know.

  I’m not sure who starts it, but our lips meet in the middle of the car, sweetly this time, our mouths closed. His lips are soft and smooth and full, and I know this is our last kiss. Tears roll down my cheek, hitting the corner of my mouth, mixing salt with the taste of David, my first, my favorite.

  We pull apart sooner than I would like, and he opens the car door. Before he steps out, he says the words that slay me.

  “It would be you if you had loved me enough then.”

  ##

  Thanks for reading! I’d love your feedback. Please write a review if you enjoyed Last Kiss (or if you didn’t, but preferably if you did). You can contact me on Twitter at @AlexaSinn.

 

 

  Sinn, Alexa, Last Kiss

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