The Loyal One Read online

  Now she was staring at the day’s mail and dwelling on too many ghosts and insecurities.

  Once again she started feeling that same tight feeling in her chest. The one that used to make her fear she was having a heart attack. This house, all her plans, and all the work that had to be done was threatening to suffocate her. She needed a break from her life, if only for a little while.

  Slipping on her favorite pair of tennis shoes, she grabbed her purse and started walking. Fifteen minutes later, she was standing outside her girlfriend Kendra Troyer’s tiny apartment. Kendra had never been an official part of the Eight, but Katie had always been close to her. Kendra, like her, hadn’t always had the easiest childhood. Though neither of them shared much, there was something about knowing that she wasn’t the only one not to have wonderful memories that made everything seem easier.

  Before she talked herself out of it, she knocked on the door. While she waited, a puppy stared at her through a narrow pane of glass situated on the side of the door’s frame. It had matted white fur, lopsided ears, and a pair of wary eyes. It was barking at her so shrilly, Katie took a step back.

  “Nee, Blue!” Kendra called out. “Hush, now. You mustn’t bark so much.”

  When she opened the door, Kendra was leaning down and holding the dog’s collar. “Hey, Katie. Come on in, she don’t bite.”

  Hoping that was really the case, Katie hesitantly stepped in, one eye on the barking dog. “I didn’t know you got a hund.”

  “She’s new. I’ve had her only three days. Since then, all I’ve been doing is trying not to regret my decision.”

  Katie noticed that Kendra’s voice was far sweeter than her words. She didn’t regret a thing. “Where did you get her?” Noticing that the dog was now slowly wagging her tail, Katie knelt down and held out her hand for the dog to smell. When Blue sniffed her curiously then stepped closer, she breathed a sigh of relief.

  “Where else? The pound. I was volunteering at the shelter when I was asked to clean her cage. She fell asleep in my lap. It was the sweetest thing. After that, I surely couldn’t let her go. Of course, as soon as I got her home, she turned into a barking menace.”

  Blue chose that moment to look up at Kendra with a look of adoration. Katie chuckled. “Maybe not so menacing?”

  Kendra smiled. “Maybe not.” She let go of Blue’s collar and ran a hand down her fur.

  The dog wagged its tail once then trotted off.

  “Maybe Blue just needs some time to adjust?” Katie mused. “Moving to someplace new is always stressful.”

  “I hope so.” She pointed to the coffee table, where the dog had just crawled under and lain down. “If she doesn’t settle down soon, I fear we are going to have a very long life together.”

  “Couldn’t you just give her back?”

  “Oh, no. I could never do that. She’s mine now, you know?”

  Katie smiled at her. “That’s what I love about you, Kendra. You are so loyal.”

  “We’re all loyal to each other, don’t you think? I mean, why else would we have stayed friends for so long otherwise?”

  “I suppose.” Kendra’s words made a lot of sense. But what didn’t was how eight friends could have so much loyalty for each other, but her own family could remain so disjointed and full of secrets.

  Kendra stared at her for a long moment, then guided her to her back porch. “Let’s go sit outside. I want to show you something.”

  Katie followed her out onto the tiny patio, which was really little more than a five-by-five-foot cement slab with two folding chairs on it. The moment she sat down, though, she realized that she hadn’t been very fair. The small area was shaded and had some privacy, too. In addition, Kendra had some colorful clay pots in two of the corners and a black charcoal grill set up.

  And since it was only Kendra living there, she probably didn’t need anything else.

  But though Katie would have usually loved nothing but relaxing in the cozy spot, at the moment, all it was doing was serving as a reminder of just how far she was from having her own dreams realized. She currently didn’t have anything even remotely comfortable at her own home for herself, let alone for her future guests staying at the bed-and-breakfast.

  And that realization made her feel less relaxed and even more uncomfortable. “Kendra, what did you want to show me?”

  “Oh.” She slowly edged up the skirt of her dress over her right leg. First her calf was bared, then her knee, lastly, the bottom half of her thigh. “This,” she said at last.

  Curious, Katie leaned forward, then froze when she saw what Kendra was displaying. It was a scar. A bad one. The skin was raised and red, and its width was almost a quarter inch wide. And its length? At least two inches.

  It had obviously happened some time ago. Years.

  “Oh, Kendra. Are you all right?”

  “I’m fine. I mean, this happened a very long time ago.”

  It was a reminder of just how bad Kendra’s life had been with her father. Though, of course, Katie felt sorry for her past, she was confused why Kendra was picking this time to show the scar to her. Her friend had never been one to either talk about her past or to do something to induce sympathy.

  Looking down at her thigh, Kendra ran a finger along the raised skin. “When I was seven, I got in very bad trouble and my father locked me in the shed out behind our house,” she said quietly. “It was in the winter and so very cold.”

  Katie didn’t want to hear about that. It was bad of her, but sometimes she didn’t even like to think about how bad Kendra’s life had been. It always made her feel sick inside. Kendra had grown up New Order Amish and away from all of them. How could God have given Katie the Eight while making a girl like Kendra feel so all alone?

  Forcing herself to concentrate on Kendra and not her own feelings, she said gently, “You were seven, you said?”

  “Jah.” Still looking at the scar, she said, “The shed was dark, and there were tools and such in there. Nails, old traps, all sorts of things. I was scared.”

  “Of course you were.”

  “After the first hour, I tried to sit down, but there wasn’t much room and I couldn’t see much anyway. I was little, too. Not very strong.” She frowned. “And so, I tried to push a rake out of the way. But while I was doing that, I tripped and fell and cut my leg here.”

  Tears were in her eyes now. “Oh, Kendra. That’s awful. I’m so sorry.”

  Her girlfriend shrugged. “It hurt and it bled a lot. It finally stopped, of course, but because I’d been in that dirty shed, it got infected before I finally was allowed to leave.”

  Finally? “How long were you in there?”

  “I think two days.”

  “You don’t know?”

  “It was dark and I was young.” Frowning, she gazed at the scar again before sliding the fabric back down her leg. “I guess you are probably wondering why I decided to share this with you.”

  Yes. Yes, she was.

  Looking at her intently, she said, “I’ve known you for years. We’ve been friends for a very long time.”

  Was Kendra thinking that she didn’t realize that, or that she didn’t appreciate her? “We’re gut friends, Kendra. I’ve always been grateful for your friendship.”

  “I feel the same way.” Her brown eyes warmed before they flicked away. “But even though we’ve been such good friends and I love you like a sister, I’ve never wanted you to see this. I never wanted to talk about it.”

  “Of course not. I’m sure it was painful to recall.”

  “To be honest, that memory wasn’t all that painful to recall. It’s, well, it’s pretty vivid in my head. Lots of things that happened back then are.” She paused, then said, “Katie, I never told you because I was embarrassed.”

  “You were a little girl. You had nothing to be embarrassed about.”

  “You’re right. No matter what I did, I didn’t deserve to be locked in a garden shed in the middle of winter for two days. I didn’t deserve
a lot of the things that happened to me. But even though my mind knew this, my heart, and maybe my pride, too, didn’t want all of the Eight to know.”

  “Why?”

  “Because I didn’t want all of you to think less of me. When Elizabeth Anne first introduced me to all of you, I knew your group was something special. Then, later, when she and Logan asked me to join y’all for one of your campfires, I was so excited, I knew I didn’t want to do anything to make you all regret the invitation.”

  Katie was surprised and maybe even a little embarrassed that they’d made Kendra feel like she couldn’t be herself. But she also understood the feeling. “So you kept much of your past a secret so you could keep joining us.”

  “I did.” She shifted. “I guess I should ask you if you still want to be my friend. Now that you know.”

  Katie rubbed Kendra’s arm. “Don’t be silly. Nothing has changed between us. Of course I want to be your friend. Kendra, I’m sorry I didn’t know you back then, but I know and love you now. I’m always here if you want to talk. There doesn’t have to be a special time or place to share what is on your mind.”

  Kendra lifted her chin. “Marie told me about visiting your house the other day.”

  “She did?”

  “Um hum,” Kendra replied, as if the fact that Marie gossiping about Katie wasn’t a big deal. “Why did you think the state of your house would change how all of us felt about you?”

  Katie was so taken aback and embarrassed, she lashed out. “Kendra, that’s why you told me about your scar? In order to teach me a lesson?”

  “I shared that to let you know that I might have a nasty scar on my leg, but I’m not the only one who has something to hide. Every one of us has something that we don’t want the others to know about.”

  “I know that.” Yes, Kendra had a point, but had she really thought that their two situations were the same?

  But maybe they were.

  “Think of Andy, Katie,” Kendra said, her voice pleading. “He had something going on that upset him so much he didn’t want to live. What it was, we’ll never know. Maybe it was big. Or maybe it was little. Or, maybe it doesn’t matter. He didn’t feel he could share it.”

  “This isn’t the same.”

  “I hope not. If it was the same, you’d be contemplating ending your life. All I’m trying to tell you, is that you’ve got to decide who and what you are going to be loyal to. Either to yourself and your pain and your past, or your friends and the future.”

  “You are making too much of this.”

  Kendra stood up. “No, you are making too little of all you have. You might have a past, Katie, but there is really so much more to you than that. All of us are so much more than just our pasts—or our families.”

  Everything Kendra had said had been hard to hear, and difficult to think about. But it was also time for Katie to stop worrying so much about her insecurities. “I’ll try to be better.”

  Kendra smiled softly. “Katie, if nothing I said made sense, then maybe seeing Blue here helped. I mean, if Blue, looking like she does—all scraggly and unkempt—can expect to be loved in spite of her flaws and past, any of us can. Even you.”

  Sitting back down, Katie chuckled. “Thanks, Kendra. I guess I really did need this talk after all.”

  Looking really pleased, Kendra leaned back in her chair. “I’m glad I could help.”

  ELEVEN

  Will held up his right leg. “Jah, he was wrong. I still have the scar from his buckshot.”

  “Pass the carrots, Harley,” Jimmy said from across the table. “If you please.”

  “Huh? Oh, here,” Harley said as he picked up the stoneware serving dish that had been a fixture of their supper table since he’d been a small boy.

  When he noticed that Jimmy took the dish with a look of annoyance and that the rest of the family was staring at him curiously, he asked, “Does someone want anything else?”

  “Maybe you could share the mashed potatoes, too?” Beth asked with a bit of amusement in her tone.

  As he did as she asked, he raised his eyebrows. “All of you are looking at me like I’ve done something wrong. What did I do?”

  “Not much,” Betty muttered under her breath.

  “You haven’t been doing anything at all,” Jimmy said much more loudly. “Well, besides stare off into nothing and hoard all the food.”

  With a start, Harley realized that he did, indeed, have quite a collection of serving dishes arranged in front of him. There was the platter of roast beef sitting right next to the bowl of gravy, a dish of broccoli salad, and a basket of fresh rolls. And that was after he’d given up the potatoes and carrots.

  “Sorry. Do any of you need any more food?”

  “I’ll take the roast and gravy if you can spare it,” Kyle said around a cheeky grin.

  Betty pressed a napkin to her mouth, halfheartedly stifling a giggle.

  Becoming more embarrassed by the second, Harley glanced at his parents. His mother was simply drinking water. Daed, on the other hand, looked like he was trying mighty hard to not yell at him. “I’m sorry, Daed. I don’t know where my head is.”

  “Is that right?” One eyebrow arched. “Hmm. I would think that answer would be obvious.”

  Harley didn’t know how to respond to his father’s cryptic statement, so he kept his head down and ate another bite of broccoli salad.

  “I don’t blame you for thinking about Katie Steury so much,” Beth said. “There’s always been something brewing between the two of you.”

  Betty giggled again.

  “I’m not thinking about Katie,” Harley protested, though it was a lie and everyone knew it. For the last several hours, he hadn’t been able to do much without thinking about her.

  “Of course you are,” Jimmy said. “And who could blame ya? She’s been holding on to quite a secret. I knew her mother kept to herself, but I didn’t know she had so many problems. It’s going to be a miracle if you two ever get that place clean.”

  Fury ignited inside him so quickly, it was only because their father was there that Harley was able to keep from yelling at his little brother. “Kyle, what have you been saying?”

  “Only the truth,” he protested. Lifting his chin, he added, “You canna deny that Katie’s haus is a real mess and she’s embarrassed about it.”

  “You have no right to talk about her. I told you to not gossip about her.”

  “I’m not. I only told Jimmy and Beth.”

  “And I overheard,” Betty said. “So it’s kind of like he told me, too.”

  This family! “Kyle, I canna believe you.”

  “Talking about Katie being sad and her mother having hoarding issues ain’t gossiping,” Jimmy said. “No one here is going to talk about her to anyone else. We’re family.”

  Just as he was about to tell Jimmy exactly what he thought about that statement, Harley glanced at his father again.

  Daed, as usual, was sitting silently, watching all of his grown children say too much. No doubt he was mentally preparing another lecture for Harley on the virtues of not bringing one’s personal problems to their mother’s supper table.

  It would be no less than what he deserved, too. He knew he should have given Kyle more instructions—and maybe threatened him a bit, too. His brother might have listened better if he’d thought Harley would fire him if he didn’t follow his directions.

  “Daed—”

  “No need to speak of this right now, son. Eat your supper.” Then, to Harley’s surprise, he murmured, “And perhaps you could pass the rolls now?”

  Bold as brass, Beth grinned across the table at Jimmy.

  Feeling his face burn, Harley passed the bread basket. Had any meal ever been this awkward? He doubted it. He couldn’t wait for it to be over so he could retreat to the peace and quiet of his bedroom.

  Just as he was about to ask Beth how her day at the Englisher’s house was, they heard a knock at the kitchen door.

  Almost as one, t
hey all looked at the door.

  “Hmm, I’m not expecting anyone. Are any of you?” Mamm asked as she stood up.

  “Nee, Mamm,” Kyle replied sweetly. “All of my friends know we eat right now.”

  Harley felt like throwing one of the four extra rolls at him.

  The knock came again.

  “Emma, you sit down. You’ve done enough for this meal. I’ll get it,” Daed said, already walking through the kitchen. He opened the door just as another knock sounded. And then, his whole posture and voice gentled. “Why, Katie Steury. Now, isn’t this a mighty nice surprise? It’s gut to see you.” He stepped back. “Come in, come in.”

  “Danke, Mr. Lambright,” Katie replied as she stepped into the kitchen. She looked like she was about to say something when her eyes darted to the filled table.

  And yes, all of them staring back at her.

  Her blue eyes widened. “Ack! I’m so sorry. I didn’t think about what time it was.”

  “Stuff and nonsense. Come in,” he said. “Have you eaten supper?”

  Beth turned her head to him and Jimmy. Stuff and nonsense? she mouthed.

  Looking just as mystified, Jimmy shrugged.

  His siblings had a point. Harley had never heard that phrase come out of their father’s mouth. Ever.

  “Harley, come help Katie get a plate,” Mamm called out as she moved the rest of their spots around the table. “Betty and Kyle, fetch a chair and silverware for our guest.”

  Still standing awkwardly in front of all of them, Katie shook her head. “There’s no need to go to so much trouble, Mrs. Lambright.” She glanced at Harley in a silent plea for help.

  Usually, he would have rushed to her side to help her, but he knew she rarely had meals like this anymore. A filling, hot supper would do her good.

  His mamm brushed off Katie’s weak protest. “I’m Emma, and don’t be silly. This isn’t any trouble at all. Please do join us. We have more than enough for one more person.”

  “All right then. Danke.”

  Harley walked over to Katie as both of his siblings went to do their mother’s bidding.