Friends to the End Read online

  When the whole group stayed silent, Tricia was tempted to get up and leave the room. She would rather spend the night in one of the freezing bedrooms than hear them say that she was exactly right.

  That there really was something wrong with her.

  THIRTEEN

  Ten minutes later, Logan spiked the ball, Sarah missed it, and we won.

  We won!

  I was so excited, I turned to Logan and gave a little squeal. He responded by picking me up and twirling me in a circle.

  Logan would have given each of his friends five bucks if he thought there was somewhere else they could go. Tricia was obviously in pain, just as it was obvious that she was finally revealing something that she’d been thinking about for a very long time.

  Surely she wouldn’t want all of them staring at her while she attempted to refocus and regain her composure?

  But then, just as suddenly, he realized that she had chosen to bare her soul to all of them, not just him. There had to be a reason she’d chosen to do so at this time and this place. Either she had made this decision on her own, or God was working through them, knowing she was going to need all of their support in order to help her overcome her fears.

  As the seconds passed, each one feeling like an eternity as the tense silence continued, Logan shared a glance with three of his best friends in the world.

  Harley looked as closed as ever, but there was stark pain in his eyes, reminding Logan that Tricia wasn’t the only person in the room who had endured doubts and hardships. Beside Harley, Elizabeth Ann and Marie were reflecting his same thoughts, each in her own way. Elizabeth, who’d always worn her heart on her sleeve, had tears in her eyes. And Marie looked like she was impatiently waiting on Logan to do something before she took the reins and ran to Tricia’s side.

  There was also something else lurking among them all, and that was the belief not only that he needed to help Tricia, but that he was more than capable of doing it.

  Just as Tricia stood to go, he heard her breath hitch, and he stepped close and reached for both of her hands. Right then and there, he knew. He knew what he needed to do.

  Maybe he would have done something differently if they’d been alone. Maybe he might have even pulled her into his arms and kissed her. Or whispered gently how worthy she was and how there was nothing wrong with her.

  But they weren’t alone, and everything inside of him shouted that that wasn’t what she needed.

  Feeling empowered, he squeezed her hands and said, “Tricia, you must stop this.”

  Looking stung, she tried to pull away. He simply held on tighter. “Nee,” he said, emphasizing his motion. “I’m not going to let you run. I’m not going to let you do this to yourself, or to any of us.”

  “You?” Temper flared in her eyes. “Logan—”

  “Nee. You listen to me. There is nothing wrong with you. There is nothing wrong with your ability to make friends. All of us came here to help you, not simply because we owed Andy a favor.”

  Behind them, Logan heard the others get to their feet as well. He knew they were ready to lend Tricia their support. For a moment, he was certain that Tricia realized that, too.

  But she still looked doubtful.

  “It’s true,” he said. “Look at me, Tricia. Do you really think I’m so weak that I would only do something because Andy asked me to?”

  “You know that wasn’t what I meant.” Looking more upset, she darted a glance at the others in the room. “Look, can we all just forget what I said? Obviously I’m tired and not thinking clearly.”

  Marie stepped closer. “I bet you are tired. If I were you, I’d be exhausted, but I have to agree with Logan. We like you, Tricia. We like you for you, not just because you are Andy’s sister. And let me tell you something else. As much as I love your brother, I have no desire for the world to be populated with more than one Andy Warner.”

  “None of us want that,” Harley said. “I’ve probably spent half of my life fighting the urge to tell him to stop attempting to manage me.”

  “What about the second half?” E. A. asked.

  “That’s easy. I fight the urge to tell him that he’s right.”

  Harley’s comment broke the tension. They all started laughing, which made Logan finally release Tricia’s hands.

  She pressed them to her face and breathed in deep. When she dropped them, she looked calmer and more confident. “Thank you all for saying those things. It’s really sweet of you. I’m just sorry that I brought it up in the first place.”

  “I’m not.” Elizabeth Ann looked at all of them. “I’m realizing now that the four of us might have needed to have this conversation as much as you did. We’ve known each other a long time. And though there are eight of us, we’ve each managed to play a role in the group. Some of us are more protective, others are more patient.” Smiling at Marie, she said, “Some of us are just too much.”

  “Hey!” Marie said. “You always said you loved me anyway.”

  E. A. grinned. “I do, but that’s still the truth.”

  “What about you, E. A.?” Logan asked.

  “Me? Oh, that’s easy. I’m guilty of being too supportive.”

  “I don’t think anyone can be that way.”

  “Then you would be wrong. It’s easier to keep one’s mouth shut and tell a person what they want to hear, to make them feel good. It’s a whole other thing to say and do the right thing.”

  “E. A.”

  “Harley, stop. You know I’m right.” Turning back to Trish, she said, “Therefore, because you’ve inspired me, I’m going to push myself a bit and attempt to tell you what I think you need to hear.” She bit her lip. “That is, if you don’t mind?”

  Tricia shook her head. “I don’t mind.”

  “Here goes. Tricia, I’ve lived most of my life having my family and being part of the Eight. I’m grateful for everyone. I’ve depended on them, too. But if I had to move, I can tell you for certain that I wouldn’t need a big group of boys and girls to have my back. Sometimes I think all a person needs is just one good friend to be by their side. Stop comparing yourself to other people. Stop doubting yourself and looking for flaws in order to prove that your doubts are correct. Instead, concentrate on the gifts that the Lord gave you.”

  Marie raised her eyebrows. “Wow, E. A.”

  “I know.” Tilting up her chin, she said, “I’m right pleased with myself.”

  “I’m proud of you,” Logan said. Casting a sideways glance at Tricia, he murmured, “Feel better?”

  “Yes.”

  “Gut,” Harley said. “Now, I suggest we clean up as best we can and get to sleep. You lazy birds probably slept in until seven or something. I, on the other hand, was up at five. I want to go to sleep.”

  Bending down to pick up the package of chocolate bars and the box of graham crackers, Marie sniffed. “Looks like you, too, have some hidden traits that we haven’t seen coming. You sure are bossy all of a sudden.”

  “I’ve always been bossy, you just never chose to listen to me, Queen.”

  She gasped. “Harley, I can’t believe you called me that.”

  “Why? You do have a crown.”

  “Well, I didn’t bring it with me this time. But next time we’re together, I’ll be sure to slip it on and tell you what to do.”

  “I’m looking forward to it.”

  As they continued to bicker, Logan wrapped an arm around Tricia’s shoulders. “Better?” he whispered.

  “Better.”

  “Gut.” Then, before he could stop himself, he kissed her cheek.

  When she smiled and blushed, he dropped his hand and turned away. But not before realizing that something had changed between them again.

  He couldn’t fight it anymore. He was falling in love with Tricia Warner.

  FOURTEEN

  Logan released me almost immediately, but the damage had already been done. I was now certain that no other boy would ever be as perfect as Logan Clark, at least no other bo
y to me.

  It turns out that I wasn’t wrong.

  A loud tap and a scrape against the window above her head woke Tricia up in the middle of the night. Inhaling sharply, she propped herself on her elbows and turned to the window, half expecting to see someone lurking on the other side.

  But it was only a tree branch.

  The wind had picked up overnight. By the sound of it, it had to be blowing gusts of thirty or forty miles an hour. They were shaking the limbs of the trees and seemed to be creating a harsh rattle between the planks in the cabin.

  Sitting up straighter, she realized that the strong winds had blown the last remnants of the storm from of the vicinity. For the first time since she’d arrived, she could see stars in the sky and the moon’s glow. Maybe this crazy trip was nearing its end.

  Just as she gave thanks for that, she heard Harley’s light snores from across the room. Which reminded her that she wasn’t alone at all.

  Instead, she was now surrounded by two women and two men, all who had become her friends.

  She turned her head, letting her attention linger on each of the other people in the room. Elizabeth Ann, with her sweet kindness. Harley, so quiet and steadfast. Marie, the pretty girl who was turning out to be so much more than Tricia realized.

  And Logan. Her brother’s friend whom she’d always tried so hard to not think about. But now? It seemed he was the man who was destined to be her future.

  Though she’d thought it before, she shook her head in wonder again. It turned out that her parents’ favorite saying wasn’t really a cliché after all. The Lord really did work in mysterious ways. Never would she have guessed that one desperate, unhappy choice would result in so many blessings.

  She’d been reminded about her brother’s love by the way he’d unabashedly called his friends and asked them to drop everything for her. She’d learned that she was stronger than she’d thought and more vulnerable than she’d imagined.

  She no longer only thought of her brother’s friends as just his friends, but hers, too. Maybe most important, the Lord had also given her the time and the opportunity to actually get to know Logan. Their time together had enabled her to let down her guard and have open and honest conversations with him. It had also allowed all the mishmash of feelings she’d had for him to meld into something more. Into love.

  Yep, she had definitely fallen in love with Logan Clark.

  Her pulse sped up slightly as she realized just how different love felt from infatuation. Whereas for most of her life she’d only thought about Logan’s traits—his handsome blond hair and blue eyes, his ready smile, his gregarious nature—those things didn’t have much to do with the love that had settled in her heart whenever she thought of him. Perhaps she’d fallen in love with the sum of his parts and not just his pleasing attributes.

  Looking out the window again, she focused on one particularly bright star and pretended it was God gazing right down on her.

  Since the time was right, she figured she might as well chat with him, even if it was from the silence of her heart.

  Well, God, what am I supposed to do now? Don’t get me wrong, I’m really thankful for all the gifts You’ve presented to me over these last few days. I know when I get back home, I’ll be making some changes and handling some things differently, too.

  But if there is one thing I don’t think I’m going to be able to change, it’s how I feel about Logan. I love him.

  She paused, staring at the star, watching it twinkle. Half hoping, she realized, that she’d suddenly hear the Lord answering her.

  She didn’t hear anything but Marie shifting deeper into her sleeping bag.

  Because she was wide-awake now, she decided to continue. I know in Your world, everyone is equal. You don’t see differences between sinners and angels. Between people who have made a lot of mistakes, and people who have led a near-perfect life. We all matter to You. I appreciate that, too.

  She sighed. But, um, just in case You’ve forgotten, a lot of people don’t think Logan and I have much in common. People have concentrated on the way we dress and the differences in the way we live our lives and decided that we shouldn’t plan a life together. But what if I want that after all?

  What do I do then?

  Feeling kind of silly, she gazed at that star yet again, hoping against hope that He would give her a sign about what to do next.

  But it was still silent.

  “Hey, Trish?”

  Startled, she turned. “Logan,” she whispered. “I didn’t hear you get up.”

  “I figured you didn’t. You were staring pretty intently out the window,” he whispered back as he knelt down onto the floor by her side. Now looking out the window, too, he frowned. “What do you see? Is something out there?”

  “No. I mean, I don’t think so. The wind woke me up and then I noticed the stars.”

  He turned his head. “So you’ve been staring at the stars.”

  “Kind of.” Though she didn’t think he would disapprove of her talking to the stars, she kind of liked to keep the conversation—such as it was—between herself and the Lord. “The wind blew out the storm. It’s finally stopped snowing. See? The sky is clear.”

  He shifted so that he was sitting with his backside on the ground with his arms wrapped around his legs. She realized then that though he was wearing his wool pants, sweatshirt, and socks, he didn’t have a blanket around him. “Aren’t you cold?”

  “Not so much.” He smiled. “I’m sitting on the side of your sleeping bag. It’s pretty warm right here.”

  “Have you been up long? I thought you were asleep.”

  He shrugged. “I don’t know what happened. I was asleep, and then next thing I knew, I was wide awake. Just as I was going to roll over and try to go back to sleep, I noticed you sitting here.” He looked at her more closely. “Are you sure you’re all right?”

  “Very sure. If you want to know the truth, I . . . well, I’ve been praying.”

  He tilted his head to one side. “Is that how you usually pray, staring out at the night sky?”

  “No. Usually I talk out loud to the Lord, like we’re having a conversation. It was kind of hard to do that here, though.”

  He stared at her for a long moment. “Did I interrupt you?”

  Only Logan would ask such a thing! “No, I think we were finished.”

  “Gut. I would hate to think I interrupted something,” he whispered.

  “Would you hate it if you discovered that your conversation is waking the rest of the room up?” Harley called out.

  “Oh! I’m sorry!” Mortified, Tricia covered her face with her hands.

  But Logan just laughed. “Forgive us?”

  “You’ll be forgiven if you quiet down for a couple of hours.”

  “We will, but there’s no need for you to embarrass Tricia like that,” Logan said.

  Trish groaned. Somehow, Logan had just made things worse. “Hush.”

  “No one wants to embarrass you, but something needed to be said,” Elizabeth Ann interjected. “It’s the middle of the night. Go to sleep, you two.”

  Reaching for her hand, Logan squeezed it. “Gut nacht, Tricia.”

  “Gut nacht to you, too,” she said softly. A little more loudly, she said, “Go back to sleep, Harley. I promise I’ll be quiet from now on.”

  But she didn’t hear anything as she lay back down. No doubt he was already asleep.

  Taking one last look at “her” star, she smiled before closing her eyes.

  Thank you, God. You’ve just given me everything I needed to know.

  FIFTEEN

  “Want to help me bring out a pitcher of lemonade?” Sarah asked me.

  “Sure.” I followed her into the house, blinking as my eyes tried to adjust to the dark rooms. When we got to the kitchen, Mrs. Clark and two of Sarah’s younger sisters were baking cookies.

  “Who are you?” Mrs. Clark asked.

  “This here is Andy’s sister, Tricia,” Sarah said.
“She’s ten.”

  “I’m pleased to meet you, Tricia,” Mrs. Clark said.

  Still practically beaming from the recent win and Logan’s twirl, I smiled broadly. “It’s nice to meet you, too.”

  Well, we made it,” Logan said as Tricia was about to get in her car. “We survived the trip to the cabin in the middle of the worst snowstorm in twenty-five years.”

  She felt her bottom lip tremble. “We sure did. Is it weird if I admit that I’m going to miss being here?”

  “Nee. I’m going to miss it, too. I’m going to miss you, Tricia.”

  Hope surged as she stared at him, trying to memorize each feature on his face, though everything inside of her said there was no need. She’d stared at him so often over the last forty-eight hours, she knew she’d never forget every expression he’d made. “Does this mean we won’t see each other for a while?”

  “I don’t see how we will. I mean, aren’t you going back to college?”

  “I’m going to finish the semester, but then I’m going to come home. I wasn’t happy there. I think there are other choices for me in my future.”

  “Such as?”

  “Such as . . . maybe us.”

  Just as visions of the two of them living a long and happy future filled his head, the reality of their situation hit him square in the eye. “Tricia, you know I’ve been baptized, right?”

  “I do. I remember the day you told me about it.”

  Thinking that she was still confused, Logan continued gently. “Do you know what that means, though? I’ve given a promise to God, my family, and myself. I’m not going to leave my faith. I’m Amish, Tricia.”

  “I realize that.”

  “Then . . .” He let his voice drift off. He didn’t want to state the obvious out loud any more than he already had. Speaking about what could never be hurt too much.