Christmas in Sugarcreek Read online

  Because he’d also known terrible heartache, they shared a connection neither could deny. From the moment he’d kissed her in the middle of a corn maze, they both realized they’d found their perfect match. However, things hadn’t been easy. Lilly had felt that she couldn’t become Amish for Robert . . . and he loved his faith so much she couldn’t ask him to leave it. So she broke things off, loving him so much that she couldn’t bear to make him give up his faith for her. But he’d loved her just as much—and left the order. Eventually, they compromised and joined a conservative Mennonite church.

  Things for both of them changed drastically. Being Mennonite opened a whole new world to Robert. Phones and cars and electricity were available to him now. For Lilly, it had meant embracing a faith enough to give up jeans and makeup and short hair. While they couldn’t say the transition had been easy, the fact that they were both willing to go through such hardships was bringing them closer together.

  Now it was moments like this—when he looked at her as if there was no other person in the world that he wanted to see—that made her feel giddy inside.

  When Robert finally lifted his head, she smiled at him. “I’m very glad you came home early. Would you like some coffee or tea?”

  “Kaffi would be most welcome.”

  “I’ll brew you a fresh pot.”

  As he followed her down the stairs, then stretched out his legs while he watched her fill up the coffee maker, he said, “What have you been doing today?”

  “You know I worked this morning.”

  “I know that, to be sure. Since you dropped me off at work.”

  Lilly felt her cheeks heat. He still wasn’t all that eager to learn to drive, so she was the designated driver. Though he seemed fine with that, sometimes it made her uncomfortable. Not because she minded driving him—never that. But because it sometimes reminded her of just how different his life was now.

  “What have you been doing since you got home?”

  “Oh, this and that,” she said airily. “Laundry and cleaning.”

  But instead of looking pleased, he eyed her with concern. “I told you that you didn’t need to worry about having a spotless house, Lilly. You are still working at the Sugarcreek Inn. I don’t want you to wear yourself out.”

  “I’m not weak, Robert.”

  “I know that.”

  Her working had been a matter of contention between them. At first, Robert had wanted her to quit her job as a waitress and stay home—not because he minded her working, but he felt that she tried to do too much.

  “Lilly, I hate to think of you never giving yourself time to rest or to see your friends, or even to play on your computer.”

  At the mention of her laptop, Lilly flushed. That was always how he phrased it—her playing. As the coffee continued to brew, she turned and leaned back against the kitchen counter. “As a matter of fact, I was upstairs sitting on the guest-bedroom bed playing on the computer,” she admitted. Almost like she was in trouble.

  Something flickered in his eyes, but he only nodded.

  “Have I told you that you look pretty today?”

  This time she didn’t bother to hide her emotions. “Gretta helped me finish this dress,” she said proudly. “She brought it to me at the inn this morning.”

  “How much of this dress did you sew?” he asked, amusement lacing his voice.

  “The outside seams. And I cut out the pattern. Well, I tried to do a sleeve but Gretta had to redo it.” Fingering the fabric again, she admitted, “As soon as she brought it to me, I ran to the back and changed clothes. Kay hardly knew what to think.”

  “I bet she wasn’t as entertained as the customers were by your quick change.” He laughed. “Lilly, I love how honest you are with me. You make me smile.”

  “Still?”

  “After all these months?” he asked, exaggerating the last word. “Jah, even after all these months.”

  After bringing him a cup of coffee, black with no sugar, she sat down next to him. “You used to visit me at work, you know.”

  He paused. “And so I did. Well, perhaps I’ll walk down next time you’re waitressing and have a piece of pie for lunch.”

  The warmth that was always so present between them bloomed anew. “I hope you will,” she murmured.

  Reaching out, he brushed his thumb against her cheek, just to feel her, she supposed. Then, after another moment, he cleared his throat. “So, I talked to my family. Though my daed was civil enough, he doesn’t feel like it would be right for us to visit on Christmas Day. He feels it might be too awkward.”

  “I’m sorry he feels that way.” With effort, she refrained from saying anything more. His family, especially his cousin, had seemed to go out of their way to make sure Robert knew that he wasn’t part of their family anymore. She’d naively imagined that they would come around after just a few weeks.

  But of course that had just been a pipe dream. She worried that Robert’s cousin Abe had continued to make his displeasure evident. And she had a feeling that he was littering Robert’s parents’ minds with doubts.

  Robert continued to look away, making her feel even more sorry for him.

  “My father did say that we could see them on the twenty-sixth.”

  Though she was tempted to say something sharp, like that was big of them, she knew sarcasm would only make him feel worse. Instead, she kept her voice even. “I will look forward to seeing them. Would they like to come over here?”

  “No. They thought perhaps we could meet them at a restaurant. Or we could go to their home.”

  So they still didn’t want to step foot in their house. Lilly supposed she shouldn’t have been surprised. Technically, it was only Robert’s—it was the house he’d built for Grace, his first wife who’d died much too young.

  Though Robert had said time and again how glad he was that Lilly lived here now—that he was glad she was changing things here and there—Lilly knew his family didn’t feel the same way.

  In their minds, she had ruined Robert. For her, he’d left them, left their community. She’d made him different.

  That wasn’t true. Robert was still upstanding and serious and kind. He still believed in the Lord and tried to be a good Christian man. Only now he wore jeans.

  And smiled. Well, he smiled when he wasn’t dwelling on his family.

  A small, petty part of her wanted to hurt them, too, but she loved Robert too much to play such games. “A restaurant is fine. Their home is fine, too,” she added. “Wherever you want to see them is fine with me.”

  “Fine.” His lips twitched. “Well, they’re trying, I suppose.”

  When she noticed that his cup of coffee was already half gone, she grabbed the carafe and took it to the table. Her hand trembled as she carefully poured coffee into his favorite mug.

  “You’re not going to say much about my family, are you? Or how you feel about how they are treating you.”

  “I wouldn’t dream of it.”

  His eyes sparkled. “I had no idea you could be so closemouthed.”

  “Me, neither. Actually, I’m more than a little proud of myself,” she said with a smile. “You should be impressed.”

  “I am.” After another sip, a shadow fell across his brow. “I’ve got something else to tell you.”

  “What is that?”

  He took out his pocket watch. “It broke,” he said.

  Taking the chair next to him, she picked up the timepiece and examined it more closely. The glass face was shattered. The silver case surrounding the face looked a bit mangled, too. “Perhaps we could get it fixed?”

  “I don’t know. I’m thinking it’s well and dead.” He sighed as he took another sip of the hot brew. “It must have fallen out of my pocket today when I wasn’t aware of it. I was working on sanding a hope chest when my boot got it well and good.”

  Reaching out, she clasped his hand. “I’m sorry, Robert. I know the watch was special to you.”

  “It was my grandfather�
�s. But it was more special to me because I used it for the time,” he said with a wry smile. “Now I’m going to be forced to walk to my office to know what time it is.”

  “We’ll think of something,” she said, suddenly having a very good idea about his Christmas present. Afraid if she didn’t redirect the conversation he was going to talk about replacing it right away, she said, “Let’s not worry about it for now.”

  “All right. Now that we won’t be seeing my family, I was wondering how you would like to spend Christmas Day.”

  She’d been thinking about their plans for some time. “Since we’re going to my parents’ house on Christmas Eve, and services at our new church before that . . . how about we stay home, just the two of us?” she ventured. “I know it might be kind of quiet, but sometimes quiet is good.”

  His eyes widened. “You’d be okay with that? Just being here, together?”

  “Of course, Robert.” Speaking from her heart, she said, “I love being with you more than anyone else in the world. I think spending the day together, celebrating Jesus’s birth here at home sounds like a really nice way to spend Christmas.” Who knows? Maybe she’d even be able to make a turkey or a ham and not burn it.

  Leaning close, he brushed his lips against hers once more. “I’d be happy with that, too,” he murmured into her ear as he leaned closer.

  As he rubbed her back, seeming to find comfort in just her presence, Lilly relaxed against him. When they hugged like this, when he spoke to her like she was everything to him, Lilly was sure that everything was right in the world. And felt more optimistic about their future together than ever before. “I’m glad you came home early,” she murmured.

  “Me, too.” He pressed his lips to her temple, his now smooth-shaven cheek gliding smoothly against her skin before locating her mouth.

  After a time, he whispered in her ear again. “If we’re alone on Christmas, I’ll get to see how much you enjoy my present for you. All by myself.”

  “What did you get me?”

  “You know I won’t tell. You’re going to have to wait a little longer.”

  “But—”

  He pressed a finger to her lips. “No more prying, Lilly. Besides, I haven’t been pressing you for information, have I?” Before she could reply, he stepped back and looked at her very smugly. “Fair’s fair. Right?”

  “Right,” she replied. Because, after all, what could she say? But inside, that same knot of worry that had threatened to strangle her got even bigger.

  When he left the kitchen, she prayed that she would one day become the woman he believed her to be.

  Better.

  She so wanted to make him proud of her. To have him be pleased with her. And right now, if he didn’t like her gift, she was sure that he was going to be terribly disappointed.

  Maybe even think about another woman who used to be in his life. The woman who’d been so special and perfect.

  And he’d find Lilly wanting. Maybe even have regrets about his marriage.

  She would just hate that. Could there be anything worse than for their first Christmas together to be filled with regrets and doubts?

  With a lump in her throat, she knew there would be something far worse . . . that Robert’s feelings would start to turn.

  Chapter Four

  Eight Days Until Christmas

  This had been the longest three hours of her life.

  “So do you have any more questions about checking packing slips and filing them away?” Judith asked Ben as she shuffled a few more papers around.

  They were standing side by side behind the front counter, close enough that she could smell the scent of his soap on his skin. Close enough for her to notice that he had a small pair of scars on his jaw.

  And for her to wonder just how he got them. And when.

  Looking at her directly in the eye, Ben shook his head. “I don’t have a single question. Not one.”

  His reply would have meant a whole lot more if he’d ever even looked at the papers. If he’d even acted interested with what she had to say. Instead, all he seemed inclined to do was grin and stare at her.

  Which, of course, made her even more flustered.

  And notice that his hazel eyes were really more blue than green. At least around the edges.

  “Ben, this is serious.”

  “Believe me. I will never take the invoices lightly. Ever.”

  Those eyes of his were sparkling again. And his cheek—well, his cheek had the smallest of dimples on it. Just like he was completely amused by her. “Ben . . .”

  He laughed under his breath before turning toward two new customers. “Wilkum!” he said with a smile. “How may I help you?”

  The English tourists beamed as they faced him in surprise. As Judith watched the women look him over, notice his broad shoulders and his perpetually tanned face, they looked like they’d just won the jackpot. “We were just looking around. For Christmas gifts. Do you have anything Christmasy here?”

  Judith was just about to inform the ladies that her family’s store was the wrong place to look for ornaments with Amish characters painted on them when Ben walked around the counter and directed the ladies to a collection of handmade baskets and cookbooks.

  “These are made by people in the community. Perhaps they’d make perfect gifts for your friends and family?”

  The younger woman looked starstruck. “Oh, yes, they would, indeed.”

  With a wink in Judith’s direction, he said extremely courteously, “Please let me know if I can help ya further.”

  After the ladies simpered, Ben practically sauntered back Judith’s way. But instead of returning to stand near her behind the counter, he stayed on the other side. Resting his elbows on the wood and looking completely satisfied. “How am I doing, Boss?”

  His pride would have been shameful if she hadn’t been so impressed. “Ben, I think they’re buying a dozen cookbooks between them. And four baskets, too. It’s amazing.”

  But instead of gloating, his expression turned solemn. “Gut. I’m glad you’re happy with me.”

  He caught her off guard. What did he mean by that? Had she been so difficult to please?

  Or . . . was he simply trying to get her gander up? Again? “I didn’t mean to sound surprised . . .”

  “But you are surprised, ain’t so?”

  Because he was still staring at her intently, she nodded. “Helping customers is good. Encouraging them to buy more than they intended is something that’s difficult for me.”

  “Why?”

  “I don’t know. I guess I don’t want to push things at them.”

  “But you’re not forcing them to buy, just suggesting—”

  “Like I said, you are far better at this than I am.”

  “I doubt that, Judith.” His gaze had softened. His voice had lowered. He’d leaned a little closer and made her want to lean closer, too. Which, of course, made her pulse quicken.

  Luckily the English ladies approached.

  She cleared her throat while Ben backed up with a jerk. “Did you find everything you were looking for?”

  “We did. Well, we did over in this section,” the older of the pair said with a laugh. “Could we set these puzzles and candles on the counter?”

  Judith nodded. “But of course.”

  “What else may I help you with?” Ben asked.

  “Baked goods. Do you have any rolls?”

  “We do. Made fresh this morning.”

  The Englischer smiled. “I want some of those. I’m so glad we came in today. I found everything I needed.”

  Judith checked out two other customers, greeted a newcomer, and then eyed Ben in amazement as he stacked one, two, three, four containers of rolls, one block of cheddar cheese, and three boxes of cinnamon rolls and cookies in her arms.

  How did Ben do that? He was a true salesman, able to encourage customers to buy things that Judith could only dream about. She couldn’t help but be slightly envious of his accomplishment
s—during the three days that Ben had worked, store sales had greatly risen.

  Two hours later, when she was locking up after the last customer left, she felt obligated to give Ben the praise he deserved. “You’re a gut worker, Ben Knox.”

  He looked at her for maybe a little longer than necessary, then shrugged. “Danke.”

  She felt embarrassed. It was faint praise for everything he’d did. Plus, even to her ears it sounded vaguely condescending. “I’m sorry. You are more than just a good worker. You sell real well—and you’re good with the customers, too. You seem to be a natural fit. Everyone’s noticed. My daed is real pleased.”

  “Is he?” He crossed his arms over his very broad chest. “And what about you?”

  “What about me?” Now she was feeling even more out of sorts. The way he looked at her made her imagine they were the only two people in the world.

  “Are you pleased with me, Judith Graber?”

  That deep tone of his sent a little shiver down her spine. “Yes. I mean, I just told you I thought you worked hard. That . . . that I thought you did a gut job . . .” For heaven’s sakes. She didn’t know what she was saying!

  “And that is all?”

  His tone wasn’t harsh. It wasn’t critical. No, instead it sounded . . . sad? Disappointed?

  No matter how it sounded, it made her feel tongue-tied. “Ben, I don’t know what you want me to say . . .”

  His face went blank as he stepped away, breaking the connection she wasn’t even sure they’d had. “Of course you don’t. Forgive me. I shouldn’t have pressed you like that. Is there anything else you’d like me to do?”

  Shouldn’t have pressed her? “Nee. You can go.”

  “What about you?”

  Pasting a smile on her face that she didn’t feel, she shrugged. “I won’t be leaving for a while now. I have to finish the deposit before I go home.”