Random Chance and the Paradise that is Earth Read online

  “I would like to participate,” said Cubey. “I enjoy being helpful.”

  “Oh, you’re gonna participate,” said Hewey. “C’mon, Cubetastic. Let’s go and sit in our living room and have a talk.”

  Random heard the privacy function enable. He saw that Mia heard it too.

  He pulled her close and kissed her again.

  “My, my,” she said, pulling back. “When I said breakfast was ready, I didn’t mean me!”

  He grinned. “I didn’t know you had said breakfast was ready.”

  “I told Hewey to tell you that,” she said, looking disappointed.

  “Oh, he did,” replied Random. “He just did it in his own Hewey fashion.”

  He studied her. “How are you feeling?”

  “Like I had a really nice night of sleep and when I woke up I had two friendly male voices in my head.” She glanced at the plates full of food. “Let’s eat. I’m starving.”

  They sat and dug in.

  “It’s weird,” said Mia after swallowing some eggs. “They sound totally different than what I expected. Hewey sounds like a nice cowboy, and Cubey sounds …” She shrugged.

  “He was—he is—an automated prison interrogator,” said Random.

  “I know, I know. I expected him to have a harsh edge to his voice like a lawyer or my uncle Earl. But he sounds like …”

  “Like a very friendly customer service agent,” said Random.

  “Right! Right!” laughed Mia. She took a sip of coffee. “It’s strange, though, when you think of it.”

  “What is?”

  “They both have a personality. I don’t get how that’s possible. I mean, how is it that Hewey sounds like a friendly cowboy but Cubey doesn’t?”

  “Cubey’s personality was programmed into him. It’s not his, strictly speaking. It was given to him.”

  “And Hewey?”

  Random smiled wonderingly and shook his head. “That’s a very good question.”

  “Did he always sound like that?”

  “Like a ‘friendly cowboy,’ as you put it?”

  “Yeah.”

  “Yeah,” said Random, sitting back and thinking.

  “But why?” she asked. “Why that? Why not sound like Cubey or any of a zillion other personality types? Why that? And why his particular voice—that soft, kind of gravelly baritone? Haven’t you ever thought of it before?”

  He considered. “Sure. But … hmm. I think what I did was simply discount it as how I interpreted his voice.”

  “Why would you do that?”

  “When I was a kid I read a lot of westerns. When Hewey was ‘born’ I thought he sounded in my head just like I fantasized one of my favorite heroes sounded like.”

  “Is that where his name comes from?”

  Random nodded thoughtfully. “Paul Hewson, gunslinger. From The Rapscallion of the Rogue River series.”

  “How is it that a Old West hero—a fictional one—that you loved as a kid and fantasized that he sounded a certain way sounds the same way to me as he does to you?”

  Random had forgotten about his eggs. “That’s … a very good question.”

  ~~*~~

  It wasn’t one he got to contemplate for long.

  “Amigo,” said Hewey, interrupting him and Mia as they cleaned the dishes and refilled their coffee mugs, “we’ve got trouble.”

  “What’s up?” said Random. He glanced at Mia, whose face also reflected sudden concern. Hewey must’ve been speaking to them both.

  “A warrant for your arrest has just come down the pipe on the SolarWeb. Cubey intercepted it at Phobos. They’ve sent alerts to Ceres and Vesta police. Our flight plan will lead them right to this rock.”

  Random tried to think in the heavy silence that followed. He couldn’t. “I need to go.”

  Mia seemed too shocked to move.

  He looked away from her. “Hewey: any sign of cops coming up the shaft?”

  “No obvious signs, no,” said Hewey. “We best be makin’ an escape, amigo. I’m lookin’ at the warrant right now. It’s Oligarchy Military. If they catch you …”

  “Fire up The Pompatus.”

  “I’m on it.”

  He gazed back at Mia, whose face was blank. “They don’t know about you,” he said. “You’ll be safe.”

  “I am running a search for all possible connections between you, Random Chance, and you, Mia Findlay,” said Cubey. “I believe it will be possible to delete them if they exist. In any event, it would be prudent of you, friend Random, to prepare for takeoff.”

  “Wait!” yelled Mia. Tony had just walked into the kitchen; Chandra and Sileen had gone to Vesta City for several days. He glanced at them. “What’s going on?”

  Random grabbed her hands, which had gone cold. “They’ll keep you safe,” he said. “Tony, Chandra, Sileen—and Hewey and Cubey.”

  “I want to come with you!” she cried. “Please!”

  “Probable outcomes of this new development strongly suggest that you, Mia Findlay, should remain with The Glowing Girl,” said Cubey. “If I can delete all possible connections between you, those outcomes will be even stronger.”

  “Don’t bet against the house, angel,” said Hewey. “Cubey is right.”

  Mia sighed heavily and slumped against him. “Damnit!” she muttered. “Damnit!”

  “They’ll keep you safe,” said Random, kissing the top of her head. “Cubey?”

  “Yes, friend Random?”

  “The Oligarchy is all about law and order. We may need Ralos Ytilitu sooner than later.”

  “I have learned the entirety of the Oligarchy’s legal code,” said Cubey. “Ralos Ytilitu is, as it is said, ‘on retainer’ to Mia Findlay.”

  “The Pompatus is warmin’ up,” said Hewey. “What’s our course and heading?”

  But Random didn’t know. He was about to say, “Deep space, anywhere,” when Mia spoke up.

  “Earth!” she said. “Random, Earth! Marc Centurion! Go to him! The Oligarchy won’t come after you there! Marc Centurion!”

  “I haven’t heard from him in a while. He may not even be there. Hewey: is my passport up to date?”

  “It is,” said Hewey. “I think it’s a good idea. I’ll find out where the Roman is.”

  “I can assist,” said Cubey.

  “I’ll be over in a sec’,” said Random. “I need to grab my things.”

  “Best hurry, amigo,” said Hewey.

  “Once again I am in full agreement,” said Cubey.

  ~~*~~

  At the airlock, stuffed pack slung over his shoulder, he held Mia one more time. She pushed her face into his shoulder and mumbled cursewords.

  “Looks like Uncle Bartlett is really pissed,” he murmured. “He probably got the civilian government to issue the warrant. I wouldn’t doubt if his name is at the bottom of it.”

  “When will I see you again?” she sighed into his chest, her voice muffled.

  He shook his head. “I don’t know.”

  He lifted her chin and kissed her. Her cheek was wet with tears.

  “I’ll send a wave as soon as I’m coasting,” he said. “I promise.”

  They kissed again.

  He pulled away and stepped into the airlock. The big door rumbled closed and the air began cycling.

  ~~*~~

  The Pompatus of Love drifted away from The Glowing Girl and slowly began rising up the shaft. The old cargo ship descended slowly in the forward viewshield and was out of sight. Half an hour later the brilliant spike of the sun illuminated his face. Polarizers caught it an instant later and the glare subsided. He turned The Pompatus about and the vast, starry blackness of space greeted him.

  “Earth, course heading set,” said Cubey. “Advise one-eighth secondary thrusters until control gives us permission to engage the primaries.”

  “Good idea,” said Hewey. “Nothin’ that’ll alert them that we’re tryin’ to get the hell outta Dodge.”

  “How is she doing?” asked Random. />
  “Not too good,” said Hewey. “She’s in the CCR. I don’t know why.”

  “Talk to her,” said Random. “Let her know she’ll be all right, that I’ll be all right.”

  “We do not know that to be the case, however, friend Random,” cautioned Cubey. “If indeed this warrant is legitimate—and it appears it is—there is no guarantee that however successful I may be at deleting any connections between you two, those connections are not already known and civilian or military authorities are not already on the way to interview or arrest her. As for you …”

  “I hate to say so, Rand, but Cubey’s right,” interrupted Hewey.

  “That’s why I wanted you two to be with her at all times. You two are going to be her guardian angels. Do you understand me?” he yelled, scared and angry.

  “I do, Random Chance,” said Cubey. “I promise to do everything in my power to keep her safe.”

  “You can count on me,” said Hewey. “That angel has her own guardian angels. We won’t let you down.”

  “Vesta just gave us the go-ahead to fire ‘em up,” said Hewey.

  “Full throttle is advised at this point,” said Cubey. “Let us, as friend Hewey says, get the holy hell out of here.”

  “Full throttle,” said Random. “Earth, here we come. What’s the earliest we can expect word back from the Roman?”

  “Vesta is currently twenty-two light-minutes away,” said Hewey. “Say, an hour? I shot a standard greeting with a request for a reply with a postscript that you needed to speak ASAP and that it was very important. I thought of encrypting it, but decided against it. We don’t know if he has the software to decode it. It’s a risk, but hey …”

  “Good enough,” said Random.

  “Mia’s on the horn,” said Hewey. He switched the front viewshield over. Her red face and eyes filled it.

  “I’ll be okay,” she offered after he asked. “I’m just a little freaked out. Hewey and Cubey have been wonderful. They’ve helped calm me down. I wanted to thank you for convincing me to let them download into my tech, and to tell you …”

  She held up. “Probability, I …”

  He smiled. “I do too.”

  She smiled.

  “Hewey? Are we encrypted?”

  “It’s the only way to fly,” said Hewey.

  “That new console will encrypt your waves,” he said. “It’s military-grade with a serious boost from its two new occupants. We can talk without worry.”

  “But soon you’ll be so far away. The light-delay …”

  “Don’t you two worry about that just yet,” said Hewey. “I think you’ll like what Cubetastic and I have been workin’ on. We think it’s almost finished. In the meantime, I’ve got a song for you two.”

  “Let’s hear it,” said Random. He watched as Mia nodded. “Play it, Hewey.”

  “Here it is,” said Hewey.

  Random smiled. It was an ancient melody that his father fell in love with after Random played it for him.

  Mia was smiling too.

  No tears, no fears,

  Remember there's always tomorrow

  So what if we have to part,

  We'll be together again

  Your kiss, your smile,

  Are memories I'll treasure forever

  So try thinking with your heart,

  We'll be together again

  To Be Continued

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