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  LOVE, NOW AND THEN

  MARGARET LYNETTE SHARP

  This Book is © Copyright 2016

  Margaret Lynette Sharp

  The characters and events in this book are fictitious.

  Any resemblance to persons living or dead is co-incidental.

  OF LOVE AND SECRETS

  This Book is © Copyright 2014

  Margaret Lynette Sharp

  The characters and events in this book are fictitious.

  Any resemblance to persons living or dead is co-incidental.

  This book is dedicated to my

  darling husband Ron

  Without his enthusiasm

  and support, this volume

  would not have come to fruition

  Margaret Lynette Sharp

  Chapter 1

  Breaking up: the final chapter. Is it ever without pain?

  I could answer only for myself: a profound ‘no’.

  I’d watched with more than a twinge of resentment as James strolled hand in hand down Main Street with a sophisticated-looking blonde – a girl quite unknown to me.

  A strange, sickening kind of fear had overwhelmed me and I’d rushed to hide in a busy department store. My pride would never allow him to see first-hand the air of unhappiness that permeated my being.

  Puppy love. That’s how my Mum had described our relationship. My soul rebelled the moment her words sunk in. What would she know? Rejection had been a bitter pill, made worse by my ever-mounting feelings of inadequacy. I’d been the loser, not James. The world could not fail to observe that his ego had not been dented or even lightly bruised.

  “Can I help you?” Young and efficient-looking, the sales-girl gave me an expectant smile.

  I turned my head a little, jolted back to the reality of here and now.

  “Um. Just looking,” I answered in a casual, sweet way.

  “The Misses’ section is just over there, behind the handbags.”

  Blinking for several seconds, I sauntered across, pretending to be a bona fide customer. But as soon as I saw that the assistant had turned away, I slunk out of the shop.

  James and his companion had disappeared.

  The late afternoon shadows were lengthening as I continued. As if of their own accord my eyes strayed into the coffee shop where he and I had first met.

  “Hi, Jenny!”

  The voice from the front of the counter wasn’t loud, but I couldn’t fail to notice it. The big, bubbly grin that came with it sealed my response. It was Cate’s unfailing trademark. I stepped inside.

  “Got time for a coffee?” she asked.

  I paused for thought, but only for a moment. My college assignments could wait.

  “Sounds good.” After ordering, I sat down, resolving to do my best to pretend that nothing was wrong. But that resolve was soon tested.

  “You know, Jenny, David’s just asked me to go away for the weekend with him…Things are hotting up,” she said, her eyes bright.

  For a few moments I studied the half-empty coffee in my cup.

  “I presume you’re going…”

  “Why wouldn’t I? Mum and Dad are – what’s the word?”

  “Open-minded?”

  “Yeah. Well, they know I’ll be moving out in a few months… Besides, they like David. And they,” she licked her lips, “respect my judgement.”

  The chord this struck resonated long and hard.

  I swallowed carefully. “You’re so lucky, Cate. My mum treats me like a child. And Dad’s not much better…”

  “Why? What’s been happening?”

  I sighed. “Oh, James and I split up. And all Mum can do is dismiss it as puppy love.”

  She pushed her ultra-modern spectacles onto her face.

  “Maybe she’s just trying to help you get over it…”

  “I don’t believe that. In her eyes I’m a child. She won’t let me grow up.”

  She threw me a look I couldn’t quite fathom.

  “She’ll have to, Jenny. You’re eighteen, aren’t you?”

  “Yes. But thinks I’m twelve. Not even that. Ten.”

  She seemed to be smothering a laugh.

  “Move out! That’ll send the message…”

  “I would if I could… I’ve got to get my diploma. I can’t afford to pay rent. I’d have to give up eating!”

  “Then you’ll just have to learn to ignore them. Live your own life.”

  My lungs filled with air and I breathed out deeply.

  “Yes,” I answered, but in my heart I knew that it was not an easy remedy.

  We sat in silence for a minute or two. Cate’s words left their mark on my psyche.

  “Anyway, this’ll cheer you up. Diana Ford is having a party this Friday.”

  “Diana? Oh, I don’t know her all that well…” At best, she had been an acquaintance valued most for her social standing.

  “Doesn’t matter… It’s a surprise party. Her parents are putting it on. She’s going overseas for a year…”

  “And?”

  “I’ve been recruited to give out invitations…”

  “Does that mean what I think it means?”

  “Yes. I’m inviting you…”

  I deliberated.

  “Will James be there?”

  “Would it matter if he was?”

  Thoughts of my dealings a mere half-hour ago climbed high into my consciousness.

  “Um. I’d prefer it if he wasn’t…”

  “Okay. As far as I know, he won’t be. But, why worry? It’ll give you the opportunity…”

  “For what?”

  “To show him – life goes on. Look, Jenny, there’ll be lots of guys there. You’ll be fine. Trust me.”

  “Famous last words…” I muttered.

  She looked hard at me, grinned, and wrinkled her nose.

  “Jen, you’re coming. I won’t take ‘no’ for an answer.”

  A torrent of relief flowed through me. The question had been resolved in a way that gave me an ever-increasing sense of pleasure.

  “See you Friday, then,” I said with a smile.

  “I’d better give you the address.”

  My mood continued to lighten as I focused on the future. How I loved to party! Before James and I became a couple, I had never gone short of attention from several of the local guys. I started to wonder how many of them would still be available. What a pleasant, light-hearted diversion!

  She handed me a professionally-made invitation.

  “Nice one,” I commented, raising my eyebrows a little.

  “Yeah. Well, they’re not short…” Flashing me a confidential look, she continued. “In fact, I hear that they’ll be having live music. The Swifts.”

  “The Swifts?”

  Sighing, she wrinkled her brow. “Yeah, well, they’re new. But Heidi has heard them and she says they’re cool.”

  “Wow! It sounds like it’ll be some party…”

  “Yeah. Well, they’ve put the dollars into it. Figure it out. A hall, a band, catering; even a bouncer…”

  “I’m impressed…”

  And I truly had been – so much so that for hours I thought of little else. What would I wear? Who would I meet?

  My transformation must have been obvious, for Mum remarked shortly after I arrived home, “Glad to see you’re back to normal…”

  Yes, at that moment my thoughts returned to James and our break-up, but somehow a germ of confidence, of hope, had surfaced, allowed me to bear it with stoicism.

  Chapter 2

  Unusually, my parents seemed pleased to learn of my invitation. Dad even went so far as to offer an advance on my allowance so that I could buy a new outfit. How could I resist?

  And so out I went on Thursda
y night — late night shopping. Cate came along too. She said she was in the market for something new, but I wondered… She had invested some effort into getting me to agree to go to the party. Had she also been trying to ensure that I had the best chance of having a good time?

  I had hard work to persuade her that I wasn’t going to be seen in a particularly revealing mini-dress, even if the colour complimented my eyes. Secretly it amused me to think of my parents’ certain reaction were I to follow Cate’s advice.

  So instead I chose a slightly more conservative number in the most stunning shade of turquoise.

  “I still think that you should have gone for that violet one…” she said with an air of mock superiority.

  I sighed. “Well, if you like it so much, why didn’t you get it?”

  “Oh, I’ve already got one almost that exact shade.”

  I looked hard at it. “Is it as low-cut as that?”

  She shrugged. “Probably. Dunno for sure. That doesn’t worry me.”

  I accepted that. Cate was Cate, and I was myself. It was my choice.

  Friday had been for me a half-day at College, leaving the afternoon free for me to focus on getting ready for the night.

  The butterflies started to flutter in my tummy. I wasn’t sure whether or not they were due to excitement at what lay ahead, or discomfort at the possible prospect of seeing James.

  “You look lovely, Jenny,” Mum said as appeared in the hallway. “John, doesn’t out daughter look gorgeous?”

  Grinning with his eyes as well as his lips, Dad nodded.

  “She must get it from you, Vicki,” he quipped.

  “You like the dress?” I asked.

  “Perfect.” Smiling, Mum saw me off as my lift picked me up.

  “Maybe you were right after all,” said Cate as I buckled up my seat-belt. “That dress does look good on you. What do you say, David?”

  “Cool. Very cool,” he replied, and turned the ignition key.

  “By the way, Sarah’s offered to give you a lift home… that’s if you need one,” Cate continued.

  I understood. After all—Cate and David—they were an item. A back-seat passenger would be the last thing they’d want.

  “Thanks for taking me,” I murmured.

  “No problem. Should’ve thought of it in the first place,” answered Cate.

  “Can’t wait till I can learn to drive and get my own car,” I offered.

  “Why don’t you start now? It takes time…”

  Frowning, I thought back to Mum’s response when the idea had first been floated.

  “It’s a long story… I can’t afford lessons, and Mum thinks I’d smash the car up.”

  “No! Far out! Gees, I knew you had it tough at home…” said Cate.

  “Oh, I don’t know. Maybe they’re right. Maybe it’s better if I get my diploma first, then get a job, and then pay someone…” I murmured.

  She shook her head, but made no verbal reply. Whatever had she been thinking?

  “Let’s change the subject. Um? I hear this new band they’ve got is cool… Someone said that their drummer used to be with The Rollers…” said David.

  “Fab!” I replied, grateful to get away from a topic that had caused me more than a few pangs of anxiety.

  And so we talked of this and that, and before too long we arrived at our destination.

  “How about you two go in while I find a place to park?” suggested David.

  “Fine…” answered Cate.

  I stepped out, adjusting my dress as my feet touched the pavement.

  “Gee, you’re lucky, being with him,” I said in confidential tones as Cate and I strolled towards the building.

  “Not just a handsome face…”

  “I don’t suppose he has a brother…” The words slipped out.

  “He has, but he’s married. But never fear: as they say, there are many pebbles on the beach.”

  That thought seemed to ring true. I surveyed the scene – there were guys aplenty.

  Cate and I made our way across the room to a smallish group of young adults. I already knew (and liked) Anne and Kevin. But there were others – three guys, one girl – that were strangers to me.

  But certainly not to Cate, for she welcomed them warmly.

  The hugging over, she spoke again. “Everyone, this is Jenny…”

  “Hello, Jenny. I’m Christina.” A gentle voice matched her quiet demeanour.

  “Hi! I’m Graham,” said a tall, stocky guy.

  “Richard Cummings at your service,” offered a rather intelligent-looking man of about twenty-three or so.

  “Nathan. Nathan Hicks.”

  Had I been objective, I would have said that, out of these, Nathan was the spunk. Graham radiated assertiveness. But somehow, despite his slightly uncool spectacles and old-fashioned manner, it was Richard who caught my eye. Indeed, I’d been immoderately pleased (though surprised) to see that Christina and Graham were a couple.

  “May I get you something?” Richard asked me.

  Smiling my happy smile, I answered, “That’d be lovely. Just an orange juice, if they’ve got one…”

  “I’d be shocked if they didn’t.” He disappeared for a minute or two.

  The remainder of my group seemed deeply engrossed in talk, so rather than break in, I turned my attention to the surroundings. My heart skipped a beat when I spotted him: James. Sure enough, the blonde had been close by his side. I started to turn cold.

  But then, Richard came into view, carrying a couple of drinks, and a wave of resolution overtook me. Cate’s advice saved me. From the depths of my consciousness the idea surfaced: ‘Let him think that I, too, have moved on.’

  “There’s a spare table over there. Mind if I join you?” Richard asked me.

  “No… I mean, yes, I’d love you to…” I babbled, immediately regretting my unsophisticated response. Without thinking, I bit my lip.

  “Fantastic,” he said without a trace of reserve. And then he looked at me, nodded slightly, and grinned as if to say, ‘It’s okay.’

  He pulled out my chair. I was stunned, but pleasantly.

  “Thank you,” I murmured.

  “Pleasure,” he returned, gazing into my eyes.

  Taking a sip of juice, I searched for conversation. But he beat me to it.

  “So, do you live around here?”

  “Oh, not too far away…Carlton.”

  “Carlton…yes, I know it. Old-world, quiet place.” He paused. “So, how’d you get here?”

  “Cate and David gave me a lift,” I answered in rather subdued tones.

  He blinked. “So you’re right for a lift home?”

  I hesitated, sneaking another look into his kind, brown eyes.

  “Nothing has been set in stone,” I murmured. “They can’t take me…Maybe someone else can…”

  My heart started to hammer. Sure, I’d been stretching the truth, but only a little. And out of the corner of my eye I could see James. He seemed to be looking at me, but not smiling. Was he even a touch jealous?

  “Let me take you… It’s not out of my way: well, hardly.”

  “Are you sure? That’d be great,” I blurted, and again I questioned the wisdom of the level of enthusiasm that could be inferred from my reply.

  “Fine. That’s settled.”

  For a moment I studied the depths of my glass of juice. “What about you? Where do you live?”

  Laughing a little, he put down his glass. “Good question. My real home is in Mudgee. Dad’s a businessman: runs an appliance shop.”

  “Your mum?”

  His face fell. “She’s okay—lives in Victoria, with her new husband.”

  “Oh, I’m sorry…”

  “Don’t be. It was better than sticking together for the sake of appearances.”

  I almost reached for his hand, but stopped myself in time.

  “Anyway, I’ve been living in London this last year. But now I’m back.”

  “What does that mean?” I v
entured.

  “Jenny, my dear, not even I know the precise answer to that. I’ll be here in Sydney for a while—maybe a year. Possibly, no probably, Grandad will try to recruit me to run his Melbourne branch office.”

  He must have read my puzzled expression, for he answered, “He’s an Estate Agent.”

  “You could do that?”

  Grinning, he answered. “I have done it. Not particularly keen on it, though. But it’s something to fall back on.”

  “So, what do you do?”

  “This and that. I take photos at weddings…and I work a couple of nights a week, packing groceries—just to put food on the table.”

  He seemed to be laughing to himself.

  “Sounds like you’re well organised,” I responded, smiling.

  “I have a well-developed sense of self-preservation,” he answered, looking at me with an intensity that I’d seldom felt. “And what about you? Are you working?”

  “No. Still studying. Office procedures.” I paused. “Safe and secure.”

  Grinning, he answered. “Yes, I can imagine you at the front desk.”

  “Really?”

  “You reflect an image of quiet efficiency and understated beauty.”

  Taken aback, I blushed.

  “I haven’t offended you, have I? I just meant that you would…go over well…with a certain type of client…” he went on.

  “No, you haven’t offended me, Richard. I’m just … um, unused to people summing me up like that.”

  “I see. Well, okay. Let’s talk about something else …”

  Relief flowed through me.

  Seconds ticked by. Then it occurred to me to ask, “How’d you know Diana?’

  “Oh, we’re cousins. I haven’t seen much of her, though. But when I moved to Sydney, her parents looked me up. I’ve had dinner with them a few times…Makes a change from take-away.”

  I jumped a few hurdles and made some conclusions. “So you live alone?”

  “At the moment. I’m looking for a flat-mate, just to help with the rent…”

  For more than a few moments I wondered: wondered at the way he looked at me. But then I decided that my imagination had been running riot.