Rodeo Regrets Read online

  “Why are you staring at me?”

  Chapter 9

  “I’m just glad you’re here.” Lane mentally lodged a boot to his own backside. Stop second-guessing her. Pray for her, instead. “Wanna sit with me?”

  “I promised to sit with Kendra and Lacie. And I don’t want Wyatt to think I’m still—like I used to be with men.” Her face heated.

  “We’ll be in the same general area, anyway. I usually sit with Quinn, Clay or Stetson. Shall we?”

  “Natalie!” Kendra hurried toward them and hugged Natalie. “I’m so glad you’re here.”

  Stetson shook Lane’s hand. “Good seeing you, Gray. I take it you like our church.”

  “I do. Planning to stick around and join today.”

  “Awesome.” Stetson pressed his hand to his wife’s back. “Ready to go in the sanctuary?”

  “Go on, we’ll be there in a jiff.”

  Natalie stayed with Kendra as Lane followed Stetson inside. Kendra would be a great influence on Natalie. He’d heard enough at the rodeo to know Kendra’s past was similar to Natalie’s. Maybe Kendra could help Natalie in her new Christian walk.

  * * *

  “Don’t worry.” Natalie smoothed a shaky hand over her hair. “Wyatt okayed my being here.”

  “Wyatt doesn’t have to okay you being here.” Kendra frowned.

  “You know what I mean.”

  “Why didn’t you stay for lunch yesterday at Lacie and Quinn’s?”

  “Wyatt didn’t want me to.”

  Kendra’s frown deepened. “Since when do you have to do what Wyatt wants?”

  “Since Wyatt has control of our daughter’s life.”

  “True.” Kendra rolled her eyes. “But he’s being a horse’s heinie about it.”

  “Actually he called last night and apologized. He invited me to church today and to lunch at their house with the rest of my family afterward.”

  “Wow. Why the turnaround?”

  “I think Star had something to do with it.” Natalie bit her lip. “I never dreamed she’d be my ally. The first few times I met her—I got a few digs in at her, and I thought she was fake. I mean—surely no one could be that nice for real. But she is.”

  “Yes. She is. She loves Wyatt and she loves Hannah.” Kendra crossed her arms over her chest. “Initially, even before you came back to town, Star was unsure of herself and of how Wyatt felt about you, me and his other past flings. But Wyatt convinced her she’s the only woman for him. And she’s spent lots of prayer time concerning you and Hannah since you’ve been back. She truly wants what’s best. For everyone.”

  “I owe her.”

  “You do.” Kendra sighed. “I think I wanna be her when I grow up.”

  Natalie smiled. “I think you’re doing a pretty stand-up job of being the new you.”

  “I try. And fail. And try again.” A family entered the lobby. Kendra greeted them and waited until they went into the sanctuary before she spoke again. “But I have an idea of how Star and Wyatt feel toward you.”

  “How?”

  “Stetson and I adopted Danielle.”

  “I never knew that.”

  “It all happened when you were out of town. We knew the birth parents from the youth group.” Kendra’s voice shook. “Everything was fine until last year. Danielle’s birth mother came to see her and her birth father was living and working too close for comfort. I worried constantly they’d take her away from us.”

  “I had no idea.” Natalie sucked in a shaky breath. “You’ve been great for supporting me.”

  “I’m beginning to realize sometimes our trials equip us to help others. I can see both sides.” Kendra shrugged. “And Wyatt really is a great guy now. He just still has that stubborn streak and his temper gets the best of him occasionally.”

  “Only occasionally?” Wyatt’s voice came from down the hall.

  “And he has big ears.” Kendra grinned.

  Natalie turned to face him. Star was with him, but not Hannah.

  Wyatt clutched his heart, then tugged one of his ears. “I’m hurt. I never knew they were big.” He shot Natalie a genuine smile. “Hey, Nat. Glad you could make it.”

  Her eyes burned. Maybe this could really work. Maybe she and Wyatt could be friends. She met Star’s gaze and sent a silent “thank you.” Maybe she and Star could even be friends.

  They headed into the sanctuary.

  “Morning, folks.” Clay greeted them in his signature drawl. “I’m rounding up volunteers. Any ladies willing to make pies for the pie auction at the car show at the end of the month? All proceeds go to the Denton Vietnam Vets.”

  “Sure,” Star and Kendra echoed. Each told him how many pies they’d bake as Clay took notes, then turned away.

  “Hey,” Natalie called.

  He turned to her.

  “Think I can’t bake or something?”

  “No. I...” Clay swallowed. “I wasn’t sure you’d be sticking around.”

  “Well, I am. And it just so happens I make a mean blueberry pie.”

  He quirked an eyebrow. “Your grandma’s mouthwatering recipe?”

  “Sure as shooting.”

  “You’ll need to be at the auction that Saturday in front of Moms. Starts at one. Each lady holds her pie while the bidding goes on. Drives up the price sometimes. Especially if she’s caught the eye of more than one guy.”

  Her gaze strayed to Lane. Would he bid on her pie? Silly. Why would she want him to? “I can do that.”

  “How many?”

  “Two.”

  He made a note. “Got you down. And Nattie, it’s right nice seeing you in church. Glad you’ll be sticking around.”

  “Come sit with us.” Star squeezed her arm. “Hannah’s in the nursery.”

  “Sure.” She followed as they headed for their pew. Her gaze met Lane’s. Where did he fit in her life? Or did he fit anywhere?

  She sat between Kendra and Star—a good five bodies away from Lane. Now, if her heart would just slow. And the erratic beat had nothing to do with Wyatt and Hannah.

  * * *

  Natalie couldn’t stop staring across the oak table at Hannah. Such a sweet, loving child. She’d even sat on Natalie’s lap for a few seconds in the living room. Just long enough to twist Natalie’s heart into knots. But Hannah didn’t stay anywhere very long. The longest she stayed anywhere was near Wyatt.

  Natalie tried not to envy their bond. She had no right to. But her stomach pretzeled with thoughts of the relationship she could have had with her daughter if she hadn’t been so self-centered.

  “The meal was great.” Daddy pushed his plate toward the center of the table.

  “As usual.” Caitlyn and Mama echoed each other.

  Natalie blinked. Her family had eaten at Wyatt’s home before. She’d missed so much back when she’d been trying to pretend Hannah didn’t exist.

  The house was homey, without the perfection of a professional interior decorator, but warm and inviting. No breakable knickknacks. Child friendly and filled with love. The perfect place for Hannah to grow up.

  Star picked up several plates. Mama and Caitlyn stood to help.

  “Let’s go outside,” Wyatt whispered.

  Natalie’s gaze met Star’s. Star gave a slight nod.

  “Am I leaving?” Natalie stood.

  “No. I just want to talk to you.”

  Her insides wobbled. Had Wyatt changed his mind about letting her anywhere near Hannah? Was he easing her out of her little girl’s life as he’d eased her in?

  “We’ll be right back.” Wyatt squeezed Star’s shoulder.

  “Take your time.” Star didn’t even look up as she loaded plates in the dishwasher.

  Natalie’s knees went weak. Someh
ow, she managed to stay upright and follow Wyatt out the back door.

  They rounded the house. Wyatt strolled to the porch and settled in a rocker there. He gestured to the one beside it.

  She sat and concentrated on the neighborhood to quell the quaking inside. Dark-brick houses with large lots and interesting shapes made each home unique. It was different from most cookie-cutter subdivisions.

  A For Sale sign she hadn’t noticed before stood by the road.

  Her heart stalled. “You’re moving?”

  “Relax. Hopefully to Aubrey.”

  “Oh.” She started breathing again. “I’ll admit I never pictured you living in a subdivision.” Natalie tried to sound casual, as if her world didn’t hinge on Wyatt letting her see Hannah. Or not.

  He laughed. “Me, neither. And I can’t say I’m real happy here. This was Star’s place. Since I was renting, we decided to move here. But I need wide open spaces.”

  “Is Star okay with that?”

  “She’s been a city girl all her life, but she loves the peacefulness of Lacie and Quinn’s ranch, so I think it’s grown on her.”

  “She’s a wonderful person. I couldn’t have asked for a better...” Her words stalled. “A better...mother for Hannah.”

  “Star keeps me grounded. When I fly off the handle, she calmly brings me back down to earth. She loves Hannah. And me. I don’t know what I did to deserve her.”

  Natalie’s gaze dropped to the wood-planked porch floor. “How does she feel about me in the picture?”

  “She’s the reason I went to the session with Brother Timothy. The reason I let you come to the trail ride. The reason you’re here today.”

  “Have you changed your mind?” Her insides quivered. “Is this the last time I’ll see Hannah?”

  “’Course not. Why would you think that?”

  She blew out a big breath as her soul settled. “I don’t know. You wanted to talk to me. Star’s not here to referee.”

  “We’re Hannah’s parents. We need to get along for her sake. Without a referee.”

  “Agreed.”

  “Star and I talked last night. We’d like you to come with your folks when they visit, be at their house when Hannah visits them and eventually have one-on-one visits with her. But for now, you’re still just Natalie.”

  Her heart did giddy somersaults. “I’ll take that offer.”

  “Friends?” He held his hand out toward her.

  She’d never imagined they’d be friends. Memories of their past relationship coiled shame through her stomach. But that was a different life.

  Natalie clasped his hand. “Yes.”

  The front door opened and Star stepped out. Her gaze landed on their joined hands.

  Natalie pulled out of his grasp.

  “Just wanted to make sure y’all were getting along okay.” Star’s smile was shaky.

  “We’re fine, thanks to you.” Wyatt stood and hugged his wife.

  “Could we talk a minute, Star?” Natalie tried to infuse warmth in her tone. “Wyatt, you’re excused.”

  “I’m thinking I should stay.” He ended the embrace, but his arm rested around Star’s waist.

  “I want to thank Star for being so kind to me.”

  He sized her up, clearly wondering if he could trust her. With a slight nod, he kissed Star’s temple and went inside.

  “I understand I owe my being here today, and any chance I have at being part of Hannah’s life, to you.”

  Star sat in the chair Wyatt had abandoned, but didn’t say anything.

  “In return for your kindness, you come out on your front porch to find me holding your husband’s hand.”

  “Am I a complete idiot?” Star shook her head. “Don’t get me wrong—I trust Wyatt. Completely.”

  “But not me.” Natalie shrugged. “You have every reason not to. But, Wyatt and I never loved each other.”

  A huge sigh escaped Star. “He’s told me that. Over and over. But it’s nice to hear it from you.”

  “I don’t want Wyatt, and I’d never do anything to harm y’all’s relationship. We called a truce. That’s all. All I want is to be part of Hannah’s life. And I won’t try to take her. I couldn’t if I tried.”

  Star closed her eyes for a moment. “I appreciate your relieving my fears.”

  “I appreciate your being so kind to me when I don’t deserve it.”

  “You’re Hannah’s birth mother. What kind of person would I be if I didn’t allow you into her life?”

  “I don’t know. But it makes you an awesome person to allow it.” Natalie’s gaze dropped to the floor. “Especially since I wasn’t very kind to you in the beginning. I’ll never be able to thank you enough.”

  “Just don’t hurt her. Don’t let her down.”

  “You have my word. That didn’t used to be worth anything.” Natalie rolled her eyes. “But I’m working on changing that.”

  “What about that guy—Lane? Where does he fit in?”

  Natalie’s heart swooned at the mere mention of his name. “It’s complicated.”

  “I don’t mean to be nosy, but I’ve seen y’all together. I don’t want Hannah getting attached to you and then watch you get married or something and move away.”

  “There won’t be any ‘or something’ in my life anymore. And I can’t imagine getting married.” She shrugged. Especially to Lane. “But if that ever happens, I’m not going anywhere. Hannah is my priority. It took me a while to catch on, but she’s what matters most.”

  “Then we’d better get back inside and see about what matters most.”

  “Thank you.” Natalie’s voice caught. “For everything.”

  She stood and Star did, too. It was awkward for a moment until Star opened her arms. Hannah’s two mothers hugged.

  “Who’d have ever thought it?” Natalie laughed.

  “God can mend hearts, relationships and make friends out of potential enemies. If we’ll let Him.” Star took her hand and they stepped inside.

  Natalie just needed to focus on God. And Hannah. And forget Lane.

  But that would be difficult. She had to work with him. At least two more photo shoots. She had to oversee his clothing choices from Caitlyn’s store. And he’d joined the church this morning. Lane Gray was making himself hard to avoid.

  * * *

  Lane strolled the brick-lined street of the Fort Worth Stockyards. Almost a week had passed since he’d seen Natalie. He needed to figure out a way to see her in between weekends. Hopefully, she’d be at her sister’s store. If not, maybe he’d come another day to get his new clothes. If he couldn’t catch her there, maybe at the rodeo and church over the weekend. Surely he wouldn’t have to wait a whole week until the photo shoot.

  He shook his head. Think about something else.

  As he dodged his way through the crowd, Brother Timothy’s words from Sunday morning’s announcements played over and over in his head. He’d asked the church to pray about hiring an associate pastor.

  Associate pastor? Preaching? Me?

  Lane had long felt God’s urging for him to do something. But preaching?

  Filling in when the pastor couldn’t be there. Visiting. Taking some of the load off Brother Timothy. He’d even done a Google search about nearby seminaries. There was one in Fort Worth. Could he even be an associate pastor with his past?

  He opened the door of Caitlyn’s store and the bell jingled. Natalie stood at the counter. His steps stalled. His brain did, too.

  “Hey. We’ve got all your gear choices on the west wall. Here’s the list of everything you’re supposed to get.” She sorted through a file and handed him a paper.

  Their fingers touched.

  Electricity flared.

  Her gaze shot away from his.<
br />
  He scanned the list. “All this?”

  “Cowtown orders.”

  “I’m terrible at this kind of stuff. Got any advice?”

  “Where’s Caitlyn when I need her?”

  “Where is Caitlyn?”

  “She’s in the back unloading a new shipment. Cowtown management wanted me here to supervise the staff clothing.” She stalked to the long wall. “Green’s good on you. How about this?” Natalie held up a shirt.

  Lane’s gaze stayed on her.

  “Hello?” She jiggled the shirt at him. “What do you think?”

  “Suits me.” Lane shrugged.

  “What size? I don’t think this one will fit across your, um...shoulders.”

  “You’re right. I’ll probably need an extra large.”

  “But that would be all baggy around your, um...middle. Let’s try a large.” She handed him a shirt. “Dressing rooms are in the back.”

  Why was she so nervous? Did his shoulders and middle make her nervous? “It’s just a shirt. I could try it on right here.” He undid a couple of buttons at his throat.

  Her brows went up. “No!”

  “I hate dressing rooms. They make me claustrophobic.” He really shouldn’t toy with her. But it was way too much fun.

  “Deal with it. You can’t stand in the middle of a store and shed your shirt.”

  He shot her a grin. “’Fraid you might keel over?”

  For a second, she looked as if she might.

  “Please.” Sarcasm slipped off her tongue. She rolled her eyes and flung the shirt at him.

  He caught it and turned toward the dressing room.

  “Pick all your shirts and jeans, too, so you can take it all to the dressing room at once. That way, you can get out of here quicker.”

  “Eager to get rid of me?”

  “I’ve got a dozen staff members coming in today and four dressing rooms. I don’t need you endlessly tying a room up.”

  “If all the other guys are coming in today, maybe I need to stick around. Make sure they don’t try anything with my gal.” He winked at her.

  Natalie’s cheeks pinked. “I’m not—”

  The door opened. A chute boss from Cowtown sauntered in.

  “Hey, Natalie. I’m supposed to see a gal about some clothes. I didn’t know it was you.” Jimmy looked her up and down.