Michele Sinclair - [McTiernays 05] Read online

  “No, I most certainly would not,” Laurel quickly agreed and leaned back on her hands so that she could stretch out her legs. “I know some of the McTiernay staff can be a little aggravating—”

  “A little?” Meriel quipped, remembering how caustic their cook, Fiona, could be—and she was nice compared to the steward.

  “—but I would not exchange them for anyone else. However, I’ll make sure everyone will know that you are a guest and to treat you as such. Besides, I owe you because I participated in what happened last night.”

  Meriel picked up a smooth rock that was next to her and twirled it in her fingers. She was not angry with Laurel. Nor was she angry with her sister. In a way, what happened was inevitable. “It would have happened even if you weren’t there. Raelynd is merciless.”

  “Maybe, but on this I think she might leave you and Craig alone now. I’m pretty sure you and Craig convinced her that you two are just friends.”

  “But we didn’t convince you, did we?”

  Pressing her lips together, Laurel studied Meriel and thought about the question. Visiting the Schelldens for the past week, she had discerned a change in Craig. He seemed more comfortable with himself. Beyond being a warrior and entertainer, he sometimes allowed people to see his serious and thoughtful side. Maybe it was because he no longer felt like he had to protect his twin brother, but Laurel suspected his friendship with Meriel was a more likely reason behind the change.

  Laurel released her gaze and turned to stare at the fire. “I think that you and Craig could be perfect for each other. That’s why I helped Raelynd orchestrate her little game, but if I could do it all over again, I would not.”

  Meriel’s gold-and-green eyes widened in shock. “Why not?”

  “Two people can be perfect for each other, even love each other, but unless they want their relationship to be more, mean more, it will not work.”

  Meriel waited for Laurel to ask if she wanted her and Craig’s relationship to grow into something more, but the question never came. Instead, Laurel said, “Craig is a McTiernay, Meriel. That means he is incredibly stubborn and full of pride. He is also steadfast in his beliefs and as a result, when he makes up his mind, no one—not even Conor or his own twin brother, Crevan—can change it.”

  Meriel cocked her head slightly in confusion. “I am very familiar with the mulish side of Craig’s personality.”

  It was a trait they recognized in each other. Anytime she and Craig had diverging opinions, they would simply agree to disagree, knowing that neither would be able to persuade, cajole, entice, or even bribe the other to their point of view. This mutual acceptance, not having to pretend to be of the same mind on a topic in order to maintain harmony, was a revelation to them both. But on the subject of their relationship, that philosophy of agreeing to disagree would no longer work. Either she learned to ignore her feelings for Craig, or he learned to pay attention to his feelings for her.

  “So you understand that the more you push Craig into doing something—even something that, deep down, he wants—”

  “—the more he resists,” Meriel finished. “And on this subject—the one of he and I becoming anything more than friends—he is not likely to change his mind. The man fears being in love, despite seeing the happiness it has given his elder brothers.”

  “Ah, love. Powerful word.” Laurel paused for a long while. “And are you in love?”

  Meriel looked up, tears forming. “I honestly don’t know. I think I may love him and that he might love me, but he refuses to talk about it. And if I cannot talk to my best friend about our feelings for each other, what can I talk to him about? Suddenly I do not know how to act around him. I cannot pretend I don’t feel anything, and if I had stayed at Caireoch, avoiding him would have been impossible. So in a way, I am running away, though I am also worried that I was just as much of a fool to leave. What am I going to do all day? Walk and think?” Meriel tossed the rock into the fire and watched it turn red. “Craig was right. I don’t tolerate boredom well.”

  “Well, if it isn’t too much of an imposition, you could help me, and that would occupy your time for say . . . at least a fortnight.”

  Meriel frowned in acknowledgment that everyone had heard Craig’s challenge. Remembering the long list of disasters resulting from the last time she had “helped” Laurel, Meriel’s instinct was to decline the offer. Biting her bottom lip, she asked, “With what? I’m not like my sister, who knows everything about running a castle.”

  Laurel gave a small shake of her head. “I need your help with what you know better than most anyone. The gowns you made for me reminded me of how few can compare with your skill with a needle. When Conor’s brother Cole moved north, he took with him his loyal soldiers and their wives, who included a dear friend and a most valued seamstress. Ever since, my daughters have been forced to wear what I can create. So, would you consider making them some things? I have plenty of material.”

  “For your children?” Meriel asked, clearly interested in the idea but also wary of offending someone. “But there must be others who can sew. . . .”

  “We have some weavers and a few seamstresses, though none with your skill. Regardless, they will soon be busy preparing for winter and supporting the clan. You will not be interfering with anyone’s work, and I suspect when you are done that several others will ask you to lend your skill—but only if you are willing. I am positive your days could be as full as you desire.”

  “Others? Can one of them be Hamish?” Meriel teased. “The man desperately needs a new leine.” She was smiling. She would not go so far as to say that she was happy, but for the first time since she left Craig’s cottage, she was looking forward to what the next day might bring.

  Laurel laughed. “Many of the men need new clothes, but I doubt they would appreciate your ability with a needle. And give Hamish a chance. Like Craig, very few get to know who he really is.”

  “You mean very few take the effort.”

  “I mean that you and he might be good for each other. He could use a female friend. I’m not sure that he’s ever had one.”

  “Great.” Meriel sighed. “Just want I always wanted to be. The friend.”

  Hamish halted both their horses at the grassy portion of the shoreline and hopped off his mount. Meriel raised her hand to shield her eyes from the late morning light to view McTiernay Castle. It lay just beyond the loch and over the hills, which she knew were much steeper than they looked. There was not a cloud in the sky and the weather was warm without being oppressive.

  Walking over to Meriel’s side, Hamish reached up, clasped her small waist in his hands, and helped her down. “I’m thinking we should rest here and let the horses graze for a little bit.”

  “How long?” Meriel asked, clearly puzzled as to why they would stop when they were so close to their destination.

  “Umm, for just about the length of time it will take for the craziness to die down from Laurel and Conor’s return. Both will be pummeled with hugs from their children, endless questions from their staff, and those who feel they have important news that needs to be immediately imparted. Trust me. You want to enjoy this tranquility before entering that mess.”

  Meriel inhaled, and with a slight smile gave a small shake of her head. “Last time I was at this very spot, the day was far from peaceful.”

  Hamish pulled out a piece of dried meat and offered her a piece. She shook her head no. Chewing on the long, thin strip, he mumbled, “I remember.”

  Meriel stared at him incredulously. “Really? I find that hard to believe.”

  “Well, it is not too often that I get the opportunity to help save a beautiful woman,” he answered. It was a true statement, but what he really remembered was Crevan’s eyes boring into him when he had passed through the gates carrying Meriel’s wounded sister, Raelynd. The man’s jealousy had been practically tangible. After that, Hamish had purposely avoided both Raelynd and her sister. He had even dodged them at the Schelldens’ while v
isiting Craig and his brother. He had been successful right up until the end. Hamish once again reminded himself of the reluctant promise he had made to Craig to look after Meriel in his absence.

  Hamish glanced to his left and for a long moment studied the woman Craig held in such high regard. After traveling for two days, dirt clung to her skin; several loose, wispy strands escaped from her braided hair; and the cuffs and hem of her light blue bliaut were now brown with caked mud. And still, she could be considered quite beautiful. Meriel was not quite as tall as Lady McTiernay, but then neither was she petite. Her body was subtly provocative, with curves promising of hidden riches that did not match her personality, which was too sweet and compliant for his tastes. Still, her company had been far more tolerable than he had expected.

  “Beautiful? You think Raelynd beautiful?”

  Hamish nodded. “You too. It is difficult to tell the two of you apart until one of you starts to speak. Then there is no doubt.” Realizing that he had spoken his thoughts aloud, he immediately stiffened and waited for her rebuke.

  Meriel’s eyelashes fluttered and she blinked several times. Then before she could help herself, she burst out in laughter. Such brutal honesty coming from a man who liked to beguile and flatter women with nonsense had been unexpected. Hamish was always so careful around her—about what he said and what he did—trying never to offend. It had made her just as cautious. “So I am beautiful too, am I? How about the first time you saw me?” she questioned, wondering if he recalled her first night at McTiernay Castle.

  Hamish absolutely remembered. Very clearly, and by the twinkle in her eye, so did Meriel. He grinned and then struck a serious expression. “That night I think I would have used the term ‘breathtaking.’ Aye, that’s it. You were definitely breathtaking.”

  Meriel reached up and tugged on Hamish’s loose auburn locks. “You could be just as breathtaking if you let little Brenna style your hair.” Her sense of humor took over and she could not stop herself from asking, “It just so happens that I remember you too. Especially the last night we were here right after my sister’s wedding. You were quite the sensation among my sex. Tell me, was there a woman to whom you did not make an overture?”

  Hamish cocked a brow but refused to deny the accusation. “One. It was you, I believe.”

  Ignoring the comment, Meriel continued. “I have always wondered if you ever actually succeeded in ensnaring a woman with your nonsense.”

  Hamish glanced down and studied the wicked grin on her lips. Mischievous was not a quality he would have attributed to either of the Schellden twins, and especially not Meriel. He was starting to get an inkling why Craig preferred the company of someone so . . . uninteresting. The woman was anything but.

  Playing along, Hamish tried to appear insulted and puffed out his chest. “With this face and body? How could women resist?”

  Meriel could not help herself and joined his deep, warm, rich laughter. Despite her hint otherwise, Hamish was good-looking and charming, but what he probably did not know is what really lured women to his side—the air of strength about him. She felt protected just by being next to him.

  She elbowed his side with a playful jab. “Regrettably, I am sure that very few women could or do resist. But I am curious—has any woman ever succeeded in catching your affections?”

  Hamish stared at Meriel for a long moment, assessing whether or not he should answer her honestly. He was surprised to find himself wanting to, for yesterday at this time, he would not have imagined telling her the type of food he liked, let alone the inroads to his heart. “I would really like it if a particular someone caught me now,” he said truthfully.

  Meriel grimaced and rolled her eyes with intentional exaggeration. “You always like someone.”

  “Ah, but I don’t always love someone,” he quickly rejoined. He inhaled deeply and kicked a rock, watching it splash and then sink into the loch. “And I think I may actually be falling in love with her.”

  Meriel could see Hamish was serious and wondered who he could mean. When she realized he had not named his someone, her hazel eyes widened in alarm. She had not intended to flirt with Hamish or lead him to the wrong conclusion.

  Seeing her reaction, Hamish leaned down and whispered, “Not you,” with a chuckle. “Her name is Wyenda.”

  Meriel let go the breath she had been holding. She did not care if she had almost made a fool out of herself. “Good,” was all that she could say.

  Hamish crossed his arms and continued looking down. His foot played with another large pebble before kicking it into the water. His expression had stilled and grown serious, as if he were contemplating revealing a secret. “It is true that I like women. I enjoy their company,” he said, allowing himself a brief sideways glance to see if Meriel was paying attention. Seeing that she was listening earnestly, he continued. “I have found lately that chasing women, or my ‘overtures’ as I have heard some people call them, is not as much fun as it used to be.”

  Meriel’s eyebrows rose a fraction. She understood his meaning exactly, but not the reason behind such a change of heart. “I’m not sure I understand. Do you no longer seek women’s company because you have fallen in love? Or was it the monotony of the chase that compelled you to fall in love?” she asked, hoping his answer gave her some insight into her own feelings.

  Hamish furrowed his brow and scratched his chin, clearly puzzled by the question. Humor, spirit, and now intellect. Meriel Schellden was not at all what he had believed her to be. And her question was a good one. “Is love inspired by one’s own life or by the other person?” He paused and answered her seriously. “Why not both? Does it matter how I fell in love?”

  Meriel studied Hamish for several seconds, smiled, and gave him the answer he wanted. “Not really.” It really did not matter how or why Hamish loved Wyenda, but she suspected how and why someone fell in love did matter a great deal to the longevity of the relationship. But since she was far from an authority on the subject, she stayed quiet. “Does this Wyenda . . . does she also love you?”

  Hamish’s jaw suddenly tensed, betraying deep frustration. “I cannot tell. She seems to, most of the time, but then without warning, she will push me away, telling me that my feelings are not real. I fear my reputation is somewhat getting in the way.”

  Not liking to hear the sad sound in his normally jovial voice, Meriel reached up and gave his forearm an encouraging squeeze. “You can catch her, Hamish. Who could resist ‘this face’ and ‘this body’?” she said, teasing him with his own words.

  Hamish flashed her a grin, but his eyes were still solemn. “It’s not so easy. Have you ever tried to catch Craig?”

  She flinched and retreated a step. “Craig? No. Never. And I am very sure he never tried to catch me,” she answered rapidly. “We really are just friends.”

  Hamish cocked his head and said with a shrug, “More than likely it is why you are only friends. He is certainly protective of you. I doubt he would have tolerated me coming along and helping you with Merry if I had not told him about Wyenda.”

  “If Craig is protective of me, it’s because he sees me as a friend . . . a true friend. You see, when his brother married my sister, we both lost the one person to whom we confided everything. We kind of united out of necessity.”

  “And now you love him,” Hamish challenged.

  Meriel licked her lips and narrowed her gaze, keeping it firmly on the loch’s lapping waters. “Craig and I both agree that we do not want anything to jeopardize our friendship.”

  “Fine, so you both love each other.”

  Her lips thinned with growing irritation. Meriel clasped her hands together and clarified, “That is not what I said.”

  Hamish produced a casual shrug. “You didn’t have to. Neither did he.”

  Meriel ignored Hamish’s implication. “The problem is that I became so used to Craig being around, giving me his opinion, just being there . . . that I forgot how to define myself without him,” she said in an at
tempt to explain her position.

  “And when you love someone, how is that a bad thing?” Seeing that Meriel was about to argue without giving his question due thought, Hamish put his hand up. “My question was a serious one. If two people love each other and are committed to one another, then why do they need to see themselves as individuals? Shouldn’t you want to define yourself as someone’s partner?”

  Meriel closed her mouth and glanced back at the water. Tears burned at the back of her eyes. “Aye, that is the way it should be, but only if both people share the same sentiments. Craig does not.”

  Hamish chuckled. “You are completely wrong there. Craig most definitely shares the same sentiment. He just doesn’t call it love.”

  Meriel straightened her shoulders and transferred any sorrow she was feeling to aggravation. “Aye. He calls it friendship.” Turning to look Hamish directly in the eye, Meriel asked with deceptive calm, “If a person can fall in love so easily, shouldn’t they be able to fall out of love just as easily?”

  “I cannot say,” he murmured in a concerned tone.

  Fear for his friend enveloped him. Was that the reason why Meriel had come to visit the McTiernays? To get over Craig? Then again, if falling out of love was anything like falling in love, Meriel was going to be around for a long time.

  “Well, I hope so,” she said, sighing. “It would be nice to know that one day I could fall in love again with someone else.”

  “I have no doubt that you will have many chances in the future,” Hamish returned with reluctant honesty, wondering if Craig realized just what he was about to lose.

  Three days later, Meriel welcomed her first visitor. When she opened the door to her bedchamber, a pale blond head covered with ringlets immediately dashed inside. Laurel’s eldest daughter looked like a young version of her mother, with one exception. Instead of blue-green eyes, hers were gray like her father’s and their intensity changed with her mood. And today they held an impish sparkle in their silver depths.