Fiona Harper Read online

  ‘Here it is!’ Josh’s shout coincided with a great crack of thunder overhead and the heavens opened. They ran towards a tower, where the branches of the trees had grown through the gaping windows. A large drop of rain splashed on her forehead and the missing roof suddenly became very obvious.

  As she stood there, flattened against a wall while Josh snapped a picture of whatever it was they were supposed to take a picture of, she started to wonder whether there was something better than just aching for him for another ten years once he disappeared again.

  Maybe a little time with him, a little piece of his heart, would be better than nothing. And whatever they might have could build into something. It might not, but she’d never know if she never took the chance.

  She found a spot under a thick branch thrusting through one of the glassless windows where the rain wasn’t falling so hard. She reached out and grabbed a handful of Josh’s T-shirt and pulled him close so he was covered too.

  Still concentrating on the camera, he shook the water out of his hair. Her pulse began to gallop. He was very sexy when he was damp, and he was only a few inches from her.

  He stopped checking the camera and smiled at her. ‘Back to Aldwych tube station. Do you want to wait here for a minute or two or shall we just get going?’ He stuffed the camera into his pocket, then flinched and let out a yell as a big drop of water hit him on the back of the head and rolled down between his shoulder blades. ‘Not much shelter here, is there?’

  She looked at him, suddenly feeling very serious.

  ‘It’s enough.’

  Rain was running down his face and she reached up to smooth it away from his cheeks, to explore the damp spikes of his hair with her fingertips.

  Josh froze. The look in her eyes totally floored him—so full of warmth and tenderness and…desire…for him. He shouldn’t want her to look at him that way but, oh boy, he did.

  Slowly, she raised herself up on to her tiptoes, pulled his head towards her and brought his lips to meet hers. His stomach tightened and his heart pounded. He’d been waiting for this, wanting it, ever since he’d planted that celebratory peck on her lips outside the National Gallery. Maybe longer than that. Maybe his pulse was hammering in his ears because he’d wanted this for years. The strength of his response frightened him.

  This was soft, gentle Fern brushing her lips across his, making every cell in his body ache with sweet anticipation. He needed to be gentle too, take it slow…oh, hell.

  Her moist tongue traced along his upper lip and he knew he was on the verge of losing it, of crushing her against the rough stone wall and exploring every inch of her with his hands and mouth. He wound one arm round her, pulling her to him, and curved the other hand behind her head, his fingers stroking the soft skin of her neck. She made the most delightful little sound, part moan, part sigh, then deepened the kiss and pressed herself even closer to him.

  All control slid out of his grasp. There was certainly nothing soft or gentle about the way she was kissing him now. It blew his mind.

  When they’d kissed before, she’d been timid, innocent. This…this was just…hot. He smiled against her lips and moved to taste the rain-soaked skin of her jaw, her ear lobes, the soft space slightly below that on her neck. She arched against him.

  Sweet little Fern was turning him inside out with need. He was both blindsided and completely aroused.

  She turned her face towards him, guiding his mouth back towards hers with a firm hand behind his head. He stopped thinking then, let himself go with the flow. He couldn’t get enough of her and so he tasted and tasted and tasted…

  They broke apart, panting, and she collapsed against his chest. He was literally dragging the breath into his lungs. They were both soaked through, their hair plastered to their heads, beads of rain running off the end of her ponytail.

  ‘Oh.’

  That one noise made his need for her grow to shattering proportions.

  She closed her eyes. ‘I can’t breathe.’

  He kissed the top of her head and brought his arms around her, trying to keep the rain off, trying to warm her, even though he knew it was a pointless gesture. He laughed, low in the back of his throat. ‘I know. Tell me about it! I—’

  Suddenly she was pushing against him, staggering backwards and clutching at her throat.

  ‘No…’ she heaved in another breath, going pink in the face ‘…I mean I really…can’t…breathe!’

  CHAPTER NINE

  JOSH punched the coffee machine in the hospital hallway. Not because it was malfunctioning, but because he really needed something to punch.

  It had been a relief to get away from Fern’s cubicle for a few seconds. It was way too intense in there. At least, that was what he’d thought when he’d pushed the curtain aside. Now he was out here, all he wanted to do was rush back and check she was still okay.

  The machine spat out his coffee and he grabbed the cup and sat down on one of the intended-to-be-indestructible upholstered foam chairs nearby and took a scalding mouthful.

  He hated hospitals. And, yes, he knew everyone said they hated hospitals, but it was more than the clinical smell that bugged him. It was the endless waiting, the enforced cheerfulness while you visited someone you knew wasn’t going to make it.

  An image of a pale, bald, skinny Ryan flashed into his head and he bounced it away. That was not Ryan. Ryan had been full of life and mischief and fun with his tufty blond hair and his devilish blue eyes. He refused to remember him as anything else.

  Josh’s shoulders sagged. Ryan had never had the chance to do all the things they’d both planned to do when they grew up. So Josh had done them for him—and more. A life was a terrible thing to waste, so he packed as much in as he could so he would never be guilty of that.

  He took one more sip of the coffee, then left the cardboard cup on the low table in the seating area. His brain told him that Fern hadn’t had a relapse in the three minutes he’d been away, but he needed hard physical evidence. He needed to see her pale skin regain its colour and the sparkle back in her eyes—so like her brother’s.

  He took a shaky breath. For a moment there, when the ambulance had screamed up outside, its sirens wailing, he’d had the urge to run. That journey, with Fern gasping for breath, strapped down on to a trolley with one of those plastic masks on her face, had been the single most terrifying experience of his life.

  He was such a coward. For a split second he’d been really selfish, had thought of nothing but his need to escape the maelstrom of emotions. He’d even tried to rationalise that she’d be better off if he called her parents and left them all to it. What a wimp! He didn’t deserve that adoring look he’d seen in her eyes just before she’d kissed him.

  Back in the emergency department, he ducked through the curtain to Fern’s cubicle and instantly reached for her hand. A doctor was checking her over, the oxygen mask was off and a hint of pink was returning to her cheeks. When the doctor was finished she slotted the notes back into the space at the end of the trolley.

  ‘Severe allergic reaction,’ she said, keeping her eyes firmly on Fern.

  Josh’s heart began to drum. ‘You mean, anaphyalctic shock?’

  The doctor shook her head. ‘Not quite that drastic, but still pretty nasty—and probably a little bit scary.’

  Now he knew why the British were considered masters of understatement. A little bit scary? A little bit? He cleared his throat. ‘You know what set it off?’

  His gaze shifted to Fern, who was now turning an attractive shade of beetroot.

  The doctor clipped a pen back into the pocket of her white coat. ‘It seems Miss Chambers is allergic to shellfish.’

  ‘Shellfish? But she didn’t have any shellfish. I was the only one who—’

  The doctor blinked, then continued. ‘Well, thankfully, because of the nature of the…exposure…to the allergen, she only came into contact with a small amount. Just enough to give her a nasty shock by restricting the airways slightly.’ Sh
e looked firmly at Fern. ‘You’ll have to be extremely careful in future. I’ll make sure a nurse brings you an epi-pen while you wait and shows you how to use it. I’ll also be sending a letter to your GP.’

  Josh dropped into the hard plastic chair beside the trolley. Oh, Lord, it had been his fault, his oysters that had caused the whole emergency. And all because he couldn’t keep his hands—or, more importantly, his lips—to himself. He couldn’t have shown a bit of restraint for a few more days?

  This was where ‘going with the flow’, trusting his instincts, had got him. He’d broken his promise to Ryan and had put Fern in danger. What kind of friend was he? What kind of protector?

  Fern sat up on the trolley. ‘Can I go soon?’

  He whipped his head round to look at her. What she crazy? She needed to stay here where it was safe, where nothing else could happen to her.

  The doctor pressed her lips together and thought for a moment. ‘I’d like to keep an eye on you for another hour or so, but the drugs the paramedics gave you seem to have had the desired effect, and you don’t seem to be having any adverse reactions.’

  ‘You see, we’re taking part in a treasure hunt and we need to get back—’

  ‘Fern!’ He was standing now, gripping her hand a little harder than necessary to be comforting.

  She scowled at him and looked hopefully at the doctor.

  ‘I don’t see why not. You’ve been here a couple of hours already, but I’d like you to wait another hour before I discharge you—and only then if there is someone to keep a constant eye on you for the next twenty-four hours.’

  They both looked at him. He nodded.

  The doctor looked satisfied, gave a slight nod in return and pulled the curtain open. ‘See you in an hour.’

  Fern swung herself round so her legs dangled over the edge of the bed. ‘Come here,’ she said, opening her arms.

  He took a step towards her and wrapped his arms around her, staring over her shoulder as she squeezed him.

  ‘Thank you,’ she whispered in his ear. ‘Thank you for taking care of me.’

  He felt his body go rigid. How could she say that? He’d been a nervous wreck. Hell, he’d very nearly split because he couldn’t face seeing her like that, gasping for breath. He’d been so sure she was going to…

  He’d been nothing but a coward, for all his talk of being afraid of nothing. He now knew he was terrified of losing Fern. He cared about her too much. He might even…No, that thought was scarier still. He wasn’t going there.

  She placed her delicate hand softly on his cheek and sat back. ‘I can’t believe I got to the ripe old age of twenty-eight and never knew I was allergic to shellfish.’

  ‘But you never eat it.’

  She smiled at him. ‘Yes, but that’s because I always thought I was unadventurous, not because I knew it would do me harm.’

  He nodded slowly.

  ‘It must be one of those instincts you keep telling me about,’ she said brightly. ‘Somewhere deep down I knew I should stay away from it.’

  He bobbed his head again, but his mind was racing away.

  His fault. His oysters. His kiss.

  He’d failed. Not only had he not kept her safe, he’d been the one to put her life in danger. And that had been only in a physical sense. Something was building between them and, once again, he’d been too dense and slow to spot it until it was too late. Yet he couldn’t let it happen.

  If they got together, he knew for a fact that he would end up damaging her emotionally too, and that was something he was not prepared to do. He looked at her as she sank back down against the raised end of the trolley. She was staring at him, a slight frown clouding her lovely features.

  That instinct, he whispered silently. Trust it. Trust that little voice inside your head that’s telling you to stay away from me.

  ‘It’s nine-forty! Where is she?’ Fern yanked the cubicle curtain open and looked up and down the corridor of the Emergency Department. Only twenty minutes left until they were officially out of the treasure hunt. That doctor needed to discharge her. Now.

  Josh was instantly beside her. ‘Are you sure they didn’t give you too big a dose of that adrenaline-type drug?’

  She shook her head, still looking up and down the corridor. ‘I don’t think so. I feel fine.’

  He tugged at her arm. ‘We don’t have to keep going with the treasure hunt, you know. I won’t be angry. We tried our best—it just didn’t work out, that’s all.’

  ‘I am not giving up.’

  She’d never felt so certain about anything in her whole life. This was a pivotal moment, she was sure of it. No way could she just sink back into the soggy greyness of her everyday life without knowing she had given whatever this was that was happening with Josh every last shot.

  Every minute left racing for the prize money meant another minute with him, and those seconds were too precious to waste. What had that kiss meant to him? How did he really feel about her? She needed to find out the answers to these questions or it would haunt her for the rest of her life.

  A hand appeared on the edge of the curtain and pulled it open. They both jumped.

  ‘Hello, love. I thought I’d drop by and see how you were doing before I get another shout. How’re you doing?’

  Fern grinned at the big bear of a man in a green paramedic’s uniform standing just outside the cubicle. ‘Hi, Bruce. I’m fine now. Just waiting to be discharged. Thank you so much for coming to my rescue.’

  ‘Any time.’

  Then, just because she couldn’t help it, she looked at her watch. Seventeen minutes. Her stomach dropped.

  A nurse suddenly appeared beside Bruce. ‘Fern Chambers? I just need you to sign these.’

  The paperwork seemed to take for ever, but in reality it probably only took a minute. She thrust the clipboard and pen back at the nurse. Bruce, who had been discussing something in low tones with a worried-looking Josh, clapped her on the shoulder.

  ‘Well, if that’s you done, I’ll be off. Just glad I could help.’ He turned to Josh. ‘Now, you just look after her, mate.’

  Josh looked unusually grim. ‘That’s the plan.’

  Bruce nodded and disappeared back towards the ambulance bay. Fern’s stomach fluttered. Twelve minutes left! How on earth were she and Josh going to make it back to Aldwych Station in that amount of time? They’d need a miracle, or at the very least a police escort!

  She pushed past Josh. ‘Bruce!’

  The burly paramedic, just about to push the swing doors at the end of the corridor, stopped and turned. She ran up to him, leaving Josh to deal with her backpack.

  ‘You know when you said, “Any time”? Did you really mean it?’

  Josh gripped on to the chair in the back of the ambulance as it hurtled round a corner, its blue lights flashing and its sirens wailing.

  ‘I’m going to be in so much…trouble…if anyone finds out about this,’ Bruce yelled from the front of the ambulance as his partner yanked the steering wheel in the opposite direction. ‘Just as long as you two know that, if we get a shout, you will have to use your feet instead!’

  Fern, who was sitting on the edge of the trolley, her knuckles going white with the effort of hanging on, leaned forward and shouted back to him. ‘We really appreciate this, Bruce. Don’t we, Josh?’

  His voice felt thick and scratchy and it was an effort to make sure he was heard above the wail of the sirens. ‘Yeah.’

  ‘You’re a real sweetie!’ Fern added and Bruce blushed.

  The ambulance turned again and Josh was almost jolted off his seat. He frowned. He’d always thought he’d enjoy a ride in an ambulance or police car, foot to the floor, sirens screaming, but, to be honest, he was still reeling from the first ride of the day—and from all that had happened immediately before it.

  Today, instead of enjoying the buzz of the adrenaline rush, he’d felt lost and out of control—not a pleasant experience.

  Life was so fragile. People were s
o fragile. Yet he’d bulldozed his way through life with very little respect for that fact. Fern was worth more than his careless regard. A cold knife sliced through him as he realised how much he’d taken her for granted, had always expected her to be there. Today’s scare had shown him just how easy it would be for her to…

  The urge to scoop her up and kiss her senseless, even in the midst of the speeding, clattering ambulance, almost overwhelmed him. However, he was starting to realise that some instincts were meant to be resisted. Yes, if he and Fern got together it would be wonderful for a while, but it would ultimately end in disaster. Much safer for him to be on one continent and her to be on another.