The Quilter's Son: Book Two: Lydia's Heart (Amish Romance) Read online

  THE QUILTER’S SON

  Lydia’s Heart

  Book Two

  WRITTEN BY

  Samantha Jillian Bayarr

  © 2013 by Samantha Jillian Bayarr

  Cover/internal design © 2013 Livingston Hall Publishers

  All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced in any form either written, photocopying, or electronically without the express permission of the author or publisher. The only exception is brief quotations in printed reviews.

  This novel is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents are the product of the author’s imagination, and are therefore used fictitiously. Any similarity or resemblance to actual persons; living or dead, places or events is purely coincidental and beyond the intent of the author or publisher.

  All brand names or product names mentioned in this book are trademarks, registered trademarks, or trade names, and are the sole ownership of their respective holders. Livingston Hall Publishers is not associated with any products or brands named in this book.

  All scripture references in this book used from New International Version of the Bible

  www.LivingstonHallPublishers.blogspot.com

  Titles by Samantha Bayarr

  Jacob's Daughter Amish Series

  Jacob's Daughter

  Amish Winter Wonderland

  Under the Mulberry Tree

  Amish Winter of Promises

  Chasing Fireflies

  Amish Summer of Courage

  Under the Harvest Moon

  Amish Winter Collection

  An Amish Christmas Wish

  Amish White Christmas

  Amish Love Letters

  LWF Amish Series

  Little Wild Flower: Book One

  Little Wild Flower: Book Two

  The Taming of a Wild Flower: Book Three

  Unto Others: Companion Edition

  Little Wild Flower in Bloom

  Little Wild Flower's Journey

  Amish Romance

  The Quilter's Son: Book One: Liam's Choice

  The Quilter's Son: Book Two: Lydia's Heart

  The Quilter’s Son: Book Three: Nathan’s Apprentice

  The Amish Gardener

  Christian Romance

  Milk Maid in Heaven

  The Anniversary

  A Sheriff's Legacy: Book One (Historical)

  Preacher Outlaw: Book Two (Historical)

  Chapter 1

  “I’m looking for Steven Miller,” the woman said. “I need to speak to him regarding his son.”

  Lydia felt her heart pounding like the force of horse’s hooves on a paved road. “What did you say?” she whispered, trying to keep her knees from buckling under her shaky legs. The ground felt as though it would collapse and swallow her. A thousand thoughts ran through her head and she couldn’t process any of them at the moment. She tried to keep her composure, but one thought nagged her—Steve had betrayed her.

  The older woman, an Englischer, stood on the porch holding an armful of folders stuffed with papers, glasses perched on the end of her pointed nose. She lifted open the top folder studying the contents of the first page for a moment. She seemed oblivious to Lydia’s shock as she continued to sift through the pages of what seemed to be important documents.

  “It has taken our agency nearly three months to track down the correct Steven Miller.” she said casually, her mannerism cold and impersonal. “Who knew there were so many Steven Miller’s in this area? In the meantime, Nathan has been in the care of a state-run home in South Bend. We are hoping to get him permanently placed with his biological father.”

  Lydia stared at the young boy, who stood impatiently next to the woman, her vision clouded with denial. He glanced up at her, a strange connection drawing her attention to remain on him. The child, uninterested in what was being said, quickly occupied himself with the iPod he cupped in one hand, and Lydia could hear the music coming from the ear-buds tucked securely in his ears.

  Steve had introduced her to the same music over the past year they’d been courting, and she’d discovered she’d liked it very much. Now as she listened to it, the notes suddenly held new meaning as part of the Englisch world she didn’t belong in.

  The child was an exact replica of her Steve. His disheveled, sandy brown hair pushed to one side; even the way he stood was the same as Steve. She was momentarily hypnotized by his unmistakable blue eyes that caught in the sunlight and illuminated like the glow of a lantern when the wick is turned up. There was no doubt in her mind that this buwe was Steve’s kinner.

  “But Steve doesn’t have a son,” Lydia heard herself say.

  “Miss, where can I find Mr. Miller,” the woman said curtly. “I need to speak to him about this matter.”

  Lydia pointed to the back of her familye farm. “He lives in the dawdi haus.”

  The woman and child quickly departed, leaving Lydia to brace herself in the doorway of the main haus. How had Steve managed to deceive her all this time? The kinner was clearly his. Why had he never even mentioned having a son?

  Lydia’s mind suddenly switched gears.

  Their wedding was in three weeks!

  She couldn’t possibly marry him now.

  He’d lied to her about his past, and obviously his present as well. Where was Nathan’s mamm? Lydia suddenly envisioned all sorts of scenarios. Was he already married to someone else? Had he visited with his son every time he’d gone to South Bend for a construction job? Most disturbingly of all, Lydia wondered if Steve was still in love with Nathan’s mamm. He’d obviously not been forthcoming about his past, and she wondered what else he could be hiding.

  Lydia closed the door and collapsed onto the nearest chair in the sitting room. Fear constricted her throat, anger gripping her heart with an unbearable force. She tried to stifle the tears that stung the backs of her eyes, but she couldn’t. She’d spent the past year courting Steve, taking her time to be certain they were ready to be married. How could she have been so narrish—so blind to his deception? Suddenly nothing made sense. The future she’d hoped for became a haze of distorted thought, and Steve was no longer a part of it.

  Chapter 2

  Steve mindlessly invited the woman and child into the front room of the dawdi haus, where he’d been staying ever since Liam had returned home from the hospital. After he and Lucy married a year ago, Liam had moved out, leaving Steve to reside alone in the house that stood just behind the farmhouse of his beloved Lydia.

  His focus became faint as his mind processed what unfolded before him.

  Unable to take his eyes off the young boy, who’d shyly sat across from him, Steve hadn’t heard a word the woman had said to him until one sentence caused his mind to freeze like the water on Goose Pond.

  “According to the birth records, Nathan is your son. Since Ms. Foster’s death, he’s been residing in a group home, but we’d prefer to place him with his biological father.”

  Steve looked up at her with unseeing eyes; his awareness of the young boy’s gaze upon him taunting him.

  “Did you have a relationship with Harmony Foster that resulted in the birth of this child?” the woman asked coldly.

  How could he answer that question tactfully in front of the child? If Nathan was his son, he would be about seven years old—certainly old enough to understand some of what was being said.

  Steve thought back to the night of the senior prom when he’d made that fateful mistake in judgment. He’d been tutoring Harmony in math and had developed a crush on her that he’d mistaken for love. But Harmony was a cheerleader and popular, and woul
d never give him the time of day.

  The night of the senior prom, her quarterback boyfriend had dumped her, and she’d turned to Steve for comfort. After, she’d demanded they never speak about what had happened between them and ordered him out of her life forever. Steve never saw her again after that night, and he’d had no idea he’d fathered a child. He’d spent the summer pursuing her, but she’d refused to see him.

  At the end of the summer, he received a brief letter from her telling him she was going away to college and that he should forget her and move on with his life. About a year later, he’d received another letter from her, but he’d never bothered to open it. Now, Harmony was gone, and Nathan was inevitably dependent on him.

  Sweat rolled down the back of his shirt, and he struggled to put two words together. “It was only one night,” he barley whispered. “I never saw her again after that. She never even told me she was pregnant!”

  “Since you were unaware of the child’s existence,” the social worker said coldly. “The state will require a DNA test before we can release him to your care.”

  Steve cleared the lump in his throat. “What about Harmony’s parents?”

  The woman rifled through a folder on her lap. “According to the investigation, Ms. Foster’s mother is deceased, and her father refused to care for the child. If the state can’t place him with a relative, he will become a ward of the state and will remain in the foster care system until he reaches the age of eighteen.”

  Steve looked at Nathan, who was busy playing with his iPod. He didn’t need a DNA test to prove the boy was his. He could see it in his haunting blue eyes.

  Chapter 3

  Steve could see it in Lydia’s red, swollen eyes and the way she avoided direct contact with him that she already knew about his past sin—the past he’d kept from her. She’d been crying recently, and he was to blame. She set a plate of food in front of him without even making eye contact. He reached for her hand, but she pulled away.

  Looking down at his plate, he noticed she’d made his favorite chicken and dumplings, and had placed an extra biscuit in the corner of the plate just the way he liked it. Why was she being so nice to him when she was clearly upset with him? Guilt hovered over him like storm clouds heavy with icy rain.

  He stared at the plate before him as he tried to swallow a bite of the warm biscuit. The food was comforting to him, but her demeanor was unsettling. He could tell she wasn’t ready to hear what he had to say just yet, but he said a silent prayer, asking for it to be soon.

  Her silence worried him.

  They’d never argued or even disagreed before, and if that was what was about to happen, he was prepared to fight for her. He’d never loved another woman, and he couldn’t imagine his life without her. The thought of it gnawed at his troubled heart.

  Lydia sat across from Steve at the small table in the kitchen, wishing her mamm hadn’t moved in with her bruder and Lucy this week. She planned to stay there until Lucy was back on her feet from having her boppli. Though Lydia was happy for Liam and Lucy, the strain of having her mamm move in with them created an absence that weighed heavily upon her.

  Lydia studied her plate, feeling too distraught to bring the food to her lips, fearing it would gag her nervous stomach. Why had she made his favorite meal? It had been planned at the beginning of her day, and she’d followed through with it as though nothing had changed. But that was not true. Everything had changed the moment she’d laid eyes on little Nathan—Steve’s son from an unholy union.

  Lydia was tempted to ask Steve the myriad of questions crowding her mind, but she held her tongue. He was practically her husband, and her inherent faith placed him as her authority. Rebellion, however tugged at her faith, warring with her emotions. Anger whispered in her ear, tempting her to believe there was no talking his way out of this, and there was nothing he could say that could take it back.

  Her cold heart convinced her there was nothing he could do to reassure her that their wedding would still take place at the end of the month. She wasn’t even certain of her own feelings about the wedding. Her faith dictated her duty to forgive, but her sense of betrayal wouldn’t allow such thoughts to soften her heart. She felt numb as she sat across from her betrothed, her mind drenched with his betrayal.

  Chapter 4

  Steve raked at the leaves, the fruit of his labor unclear. The brisk November wind scattered the piles, spreading them across the yard and brought more down from the trees. If he hadn’t needed something to occupy his mind, he wouldn’t have even bothered with the task. The sky beheld a definite impatience to bring the first snow of the season, and the chill that permeated his wool coat went unnoticed against the indifference that cloaked his heart.

  Pulling down the black felt hat over his ears, Steve pondered the changes he’d gone through over the past year in conforming to the Amish ways. If an Englischer were to pass by, they would surely believe he was Amish. He dressed like an Amish-man. He’d even considered taking the baptismal classes and becoming baptized to seal the deal, but Lydia was the first one to decide against joining the community.

  Although Liam and Lucy had taken the classes, they had decided not to go through with it at the last minute. Lydia had agreed with them to live as Amish, but to separate themselves from the community. They had already remained pretty separated since their daed’s death, and there just didn’t seem to be any reason to go back at this point. Their decision would prevent them from having to adhere to the rules of the Ordnung, but there was an established community of ex-Amish that they had gotten to know, and they were content with their fellowship with this group.

  Now, with less than a month before their wedding, Steve was the most unsure he’d been about his future with Lydia since he’d met her—all because of one mistake he’d made in high school.

  Steve thought of young Nathan, who was now alone in the world. He didn’t have the heart to deny the boy, even if it meant the end of his relationship with Lydia, and that wasn’t an easy reality to swallow. She hadn’t spoken more than a few words to him in the past few days, and every time he tried to bring up the subject of Nathan, she’d refused to discuss it.

  Today he would be getting the results of the DNA test that he knew without a doubt would be positive. Even though he’d had the past few days to let the reality sink in, he wasn’t certain he was ready to face it when it showed up on his doorstep for the second time.

  Knowing he’d done all he could to prepare for the boy’s arrival, it suddenly occurred to him that Lydia might expect him to move out of the dawdi haus and get an apartment in town. He didn’t want to leave the Yoder farm, but if Lydia wouldn’t forgive him, he couldn’t continue to live there. He needed Lydia to understand the circumstances that had brought Nathan into this world. If he couldn’t get her to see that he was just as surprised by the child’s existence as she was, it would torture him. Still, he was Nathan’s father, and he chided himself for not knowing about the child sooner.

  It was too late to overthink what he could have done differently when he was younger. He’d not used his best judgment in the situation, and he’d let his emotions make his decision where Harmony was concerned. It saddened him that Harmony was gone, but he’d mourned the loss of her the day after they’d conceived Nathan—the day she’d banned him from her life.

  Steve stopped raking the leaves when he heard the car pull up into the lane that led to the farm, but he hesitated in turning around to greet his new son. He needed that final moment before his life was about to permanently change.

  Chapter 5

  Seeing the results in the context of an official document didn’t make Steve feel any more like a father to young Nathan. Shouldn’t he feel something? He wasn’t sure what, but all he could feel was sympathy for the child, and he knew that wasn’t the only emotion he should be feeling.

  He and Lydia had talked about having kinner over the past year that they’d been courting, and the thought of it had always filled him with prid
e. Now as he stared at Nathan, all he could do was feel sorry for him. Sorry that he’d been without a father his first seven years, and sorry that he was now without a mother.

  How could he get past those feelings and learn to be a father to the child when he didn’t even feel connected to him in any way? This was not how things were supposed to be. Lydia’s face crowded his thoughts, and he wondered how she was going to react when she realized the child was officially his.

  ****

  Lydia watched through the window as Steve bent down to welcome his son. She rested her aching head against the window, observing the awkward exchange of affection between the two of them. Shuddering against a mournful yawn, she fought the exhaustion trying to overtake her from lack of sleep and being over-emotional the night before. She’d tossed about the majority of the night, dreading the scene that was unfolding in front of her now.

  Swallowing the lump in her throat, Lydia fought the urge to run outside, screaming her protest of the whole situation. How could they marry now? Steve already had a familye, and she’d not been part of it. The thought of raising another woman’s child turned her stomach into knots. It wasn’t something she thought she could do. Her thoughts were selfish, she knew, but she’d been dreaming of having a boppli with her beloved Steve when they married, and Nathan’s presence changed everything.

  Chapter 6

  “You’re asking too much of me, dear bruder!” Lydia practically shouted. “I will not watch that buwe for him. He’s not my responsibility.”

  “Steve trusts you, Lydia, and you’re being selfish!”

  She knew Liam was right, but that didn’t make her any more eager to do Steve a favor. It certainly wasn’t Nathan’s fault he was unable to stay on his own, and Steve had thought it was best he not push the child into a new school so soon.