Crushing Knox (Bloody Saints MC Book 4) Read online

  My feet felt heavy, hard, and numb. They were useless extensions of my body. I should be running or screaming. Anything, but instead, I stood there, with my eyes full of tears watching my life go up in flames.

  Then it hit me. Where’s Macey? My eyes darted around the crowd, looking for her little head. Maybe she was in the ambulance. Oh god, what if she needed me.

  Pushing my way to the front of the crowd, I ran under the cop’s arm as he tried to hold people back. The yellow tape brushed my hair back as I ducked underneath.

  “Kid!” The officer screamed.

  “That’s my house!” I cried.

  My feet kept moving as I looked everywhere that I could see for Macey. Arms pulled me back as I rushed the building.

  “I’m sorry,” the man was shouting over the roar and crashes that filled the air.

  “I need to find Macey! Where is Macey?”

  The arms around me tightened, and something in me stopped. My heart.

  “NOOOOOOO!” I screamed.

  I understood even though my brain was in a fog. I knew the moment I realized that Macey wasn’t out here. No, she was in there, and there was no saving her.

  My heart shattered. Broken. I slumped into the rescuer’s arms. She was gone, and so was everything that I ever thought I would have.

  Chapter 5

  Lola

  Present Day.

  Savanna went missing. One moment she was there, and the next, she was gone. I knew this was coming, and so did Savanna. I just wish I knew where she went and why.

  Something had her running, and deep down, I knew whatever it was had to be really terrible. So bad that she kept it a secret and ran in the middle of the night.

  I had to go to the bar tonight and deal with Craig. After the night of memories, and the horrors of Joyce, my foster mother, it has become all too much.

  I wasn’t sure that I could face the man who seemed determined to make my life hell. Shaking my head, I fight the need to hide. Hide from the past, hide from the present, and hell, hide from the bleak future. Without Savanna’s friendship, I simply was lost. Alone again and sinking in this life and all of its tortures.

  I grab my keys from the table and take a deep breath before exiting my only safe haven. It was time to go to work. It was also time to face Craig, another horrible person. One that made my skin crawl.

  The bar’s busy and stifling hot as I weave my way through the crowd. I just know that it’s going to be another long night without any breaks.

  As I walk, something latches onto my arm, tugging me to a hard stop. My eyes widen as I look down and see a hand wrapped around my upper arm. The pressure of it keeps increasing until it becomes painful.

  “Let me go,” I snarl.

  I’ve learned that you can’t take shit from anyone. My eyes follow the hand still holding me in place, and fear sinks into my gut.

  “Where have you been,” Craig growls.

  “None of your business. Now please remove your hand off of me.”

  He leans in close, and his lips brush my ear. He whispers the words that make my stomach turn painfully. “You’re mine.”

  Shaking my head, I launch myself backward as hard as I can, ripping my arm from his bruising grip. Pain shoots up my arm, and tears mist my eyes.

  As I turn around, I ran through the crowd to the only safe place in the bar. The bartop becomes my barrier, albeit a small one, but it’s still an obstacle between us.

  I snatch the small server apron and tie it quickly around me. I start to take drink orders and decide that I have to do everything that I can to keep myself busy. Hopefully, I can avoid Craig. He’s currently sitting to my left, and he’s moving closer as the seats empty. Dammit. Someone, please help me!

  Chapter 6

  Lola

  Two Weeks Later.

  I stare in shock at Savanna, who’s currently standing on my porch. Her hair’s wet from the rain, and she’s shivering from the cold.

  “Come on, get inside before I have to take you to the hospital for pneumonia.”

  I quickly close the door behind Savanna and rush to get her a few towels.

  “Do you need something to change into?” I call out to her from the bathroom.

  “Yes, please,” her voice holds a note of sadness, and my heart aches for her.

  “I’ll get you some pajama bottoms and a long sleeve top,” I tell her as I head to the laundry room, which is closer than my bedroom. She needs to get dry and fast.

  After grabbing everything, I turn and rush back to Savanna. I toss the clothes and towels at her and collapse on the couch.

  “We need to talk after you’re warm,” I tell her.

  She nods and disappears down the hallway. Whatever’s going on, it’s bad, and I need to know where I stand. Because no matter what it is, I’m involved. It seems I always was.

  There’s no escaping my past, and it seems I’m a magnet for trouble. The only thing I know for sure is that Savanna wouldn’t use me like the other people in my life have.

  “I’m sorry for just showing up like this.” Her tone’s apologetic.

  A small amount of sympathy rises inside of me because I know whatever it is, it’s not good.

  “What’s going on, Savanna?” I finally ask her.

  Her eyes grow misty as tears fill her eyes and slowly spillover. Something in me twists painfully as I know she’s hurting.

  “I ran.” Savanna finally says.

  I nod my head since I already know this. I didn’t point it out, though.

  “I ran, and then I ran again. I thought I was safe, and maybe I was, but my heart wasn’t,” Savanna sobs a gut-wrenching sound.

  “I don’t understand. I know you ran since you disappeared.” I explain.

  She looks so lost and damaged, my heart clenches. My friend’s hurting, and it’s a deep painful kind of hurt.

  “I fell in love with AN ASSHOLE MAN-WHORE! She shouts as she stands and spins. I watch as she starts to pace, stomping every few steps. Self-deprecation is evident in both her words and actions.

  “Savanna,” I say gently. I am at a loss, not exactly sure what to say.

  “When I met him, I knew who and what he was. But I still let him touch me, and I stupidly fell for him. What’s wrong with me, Lola?” Her eyes beg me for an answer.

  “Nothing, sweetheart. There isn’t a damn thing wrong with you,” I tell her firmly.

  “He let me fall for him, and then he destroyed me! I promised myself that I would never let a man hurt me, and I did!”

  I look at Savanna, feeling a little lost and concerned. I have no idea how to deal with this. I know in the movies they usually get really drunk.

  “Want a drink?” I ask her.

  Savanna bursts out laughing, which leads her to go back and forth between sniffling and chuckling. Eventually, she agrees, “I could use a drink.”

  I try not to run from the room, but everything is so overwhelming. Savanna needs me to make it better, but I have no idea how to do it. I only know what happens in books and movies. Drinking seems to be the right answer.

  The only alcohol I have was the stuff Savanna gave me as a gift. She knew I wasn’t a drinker, but she always told me there were times when this stuff would be handy. Guess she was right.

  I grab two glasses and the cherry chocolate wine she brought me from a trip to the Amish Country. I return to the room and my broken friend.

  Opening the bottle is a battle of wills, and I was unwilling to let the damn thing win. It seems determined to stay corked. Gripping the wine opener tighter, I twist and pull again and growl as it fights me like the soldier it appears to be.

  Savanna grabs her middle as she folds in on herself, laughing at my expense. At least it’s way better than the heart-breaking destruction I was previously faced with.

  “If you don’t open, I swear I’ll toss you out that window over there,” I grumble at the glass bottle as I give it my all and pull even harder. The release almost has me knock back flat on
my ass. “I swear the damn thing is laughing at me.”

  “You know it’s not alive, and it doesn’t have feelings or anything, right?”

  Turning, I glare at Savanna, “I know.”

  She laughs at me, and something in me warms. I did it, I made her laugh. I’m helping her feel better as I mess up.

  “I consider you a sister, Lola,” she tells me gently as I hand her a cup filled more than I probably should have.

  “I think of you as a sister, too,” even though it brings a sharp pain to my heart. I had a sister once, and now she’s gone. Savanna’s not her replacement, I tell her that in my mind as the guilt fills me.

  “I fell in love, Lola. He’s perfect flaws and all. He was mine even if it was only for a small-time,” her voice is low and sad.

  “Do you regret it?” I couldn’t help but ask.

  “No, not a word, moment, or breath that I’ve spent with him. Everything that has happened has led me to him, so it’s totally worth it.”

  Envy fills me. I’m jealous that Savanna met someone who makes her life and its painful road worth it. Would I ever have that?

  “Weston is everything that I could have ever imagined,” Savanna informs me.

  “What’s he like?” I ask her.

  She looks at me, her red-rimmed eyes sad but dry. “Wes is funny, strong, protective, possessive, and everything in between.”

  I stew on that as I drink my wine, which is amazing. It tastes like cherry cordials. I stop asking questions, and we fall into a deep silence as we drink and drink.

  Sometime later, we find ourselves three sheets to the wind, as Ally would say. Savanna then decides to start talking again.

  “I’m mafia. To be précise, I was born into the mafia, and I’m supposed to be the mafia boss’s wife.”

  My eyes widen in surprise, and shock keeps me silent. That and the alcohol.

  “So, I ran. I was supposed to go right to Rosaline. I mean, Ronnie. That’s what she goes by now. She was supposed to be the boss’s wife first, but she ran. I should have gone with her, but I stayed.” With a laugh that’s filled with anger, she continues. “I was an idiot, Lola.”

  “Hey, you are not! Do you hear me?” I tried to sound firm, but it’s all slurred, which causes Savanna and I to laugh.

  “I killed my bodyguard because he tried to stop me. I’m a killer, Lola.” Savanna states quietly.

  I should have been afraid. Instead, I felt glad. Relieved even. I mean, if Savanna didn’t, she wouldn’t be here. And she wouldn’t be safe, right?

  “I don’t care. You’re here, and you’re safe.”

  She then looks at me. It’s like she’s seeing me in a new light. Like I was different or something. But I wasn’t, I’m still me. I just have something to lose again, and that something is her.

  “You’re a good friend, Lola.”

  My heart melts. “You too, Savanna.”

  Chapter 7

  Lola

  Three Weeks Later.

  My hand tightens on Savanna’s arm as she tries to walk off my porch. She wants to leave and turn herself over to that monster hunting her.

  I’m not going to let her go. She needs to stay here with me. Together we will figure it out. We could run together. There isn’t anything here for me anyway.

  The sound of motorcycles has me tensing slightly. It’s a strange sound since no one drives down this street. Honestly, the neighborhood isn’t the best.

  “Lola?” Savanna asks with concern in her voice.

  The shock has me immobile for a moment. I can’t speak as a tall biker walks towards us, and his intense gaze locks on Savanna. How she hasn’t heard them is beyond me.

  I watch as she finally turns to see what I’m looking at, and the moment it hits her, she gasps. I quickly give Savanna another tug on her arm. We just need to get inside the house. We need the door between us, and maybe they’ll leave.

  Yeah, and the world is full of pink unicorns that dance on rainbows with sparkles filling the wind. My mind snickers, I have truly lost it.

  “Get your ass on the back of the bike. We need to leave here right now,” the biker's voice is filled with exhaustion.

  “I’m not going anywhere with you, Wes,” Savanna shouts at him.

  This is Weston? Oh god, the man is huge, and he looks very determined. I can already see the battle is lost.

  Shaking her head, she tells him, “I’m planning on leaving, just not with you.”

  I take a step closer to her, and my eyes go to her stomach for a moment. If she intends to not go, then I don’t know what I should do, but I need to do something.

  “Please, don’t fight me now. When we get home, you can kick my ass.” Wes speaks calmly.

  “I’m not going with you, Wes, and that’s not my home.” She pauses then snarls at him.

  “Besides, isn’t your bed full these days?” Her words shock the shit out of me.

  So, I watch him closely, and his hands tighten into fists. “Yeah, with me,” Weston tells her smoothly.

  Savanna stays silent. My eyes go back and forth between them. Then I notice all the men behind Weston. There’s one who’s looking right at me.

  “Savanna, listen to me. Nothing happened. Liza cornered me, and she was trying to get somewhere. That is true, but I couldn’t, and I wouldn’t do that to you.” Wes informs her.

  Again, Savanna just stares at him. No words leave her lips.

  “Hellcat, listen to me, please. Nothing happened. The moment I laid eyes on you, you became mine. All of you, and there’s no one else.”

  Hellcat? What’s that about?

  “We need to go. Besin’s on his way, and your friend isn’t safe here anymore.”

  Something in me twists. I will not be left behind again. Savanna needs me, and deep down, I know that I need her.

  “I’ll get my stuff and go wherever she goes,” I tell him forcefully. I’m daring him to even attempt to tell me no.

  “Move fast,” Weston tells me.

  Nodding, I disappear into the house. I don’t have much, and judging by the transportation, I can’t take much. So, I grab three pairs of pants, five shirts, and all of my underwear. I stuff them into my bag with a pair of sneakers, and I quickly slip my boots on.

  I resist looking around, there’s nothing here memorable. So, I walk back out the door and close it behind me. I don’t even bother locking it. I won’t be back.

  “We need to fucking go,” the man who’s been looking at me shouts.

  “Weston, she can’t ride,” Savanna informs him.

  “Promise me you’ll stay close,” he pleads with her.

  “Yes,” Savanna kisses him before looking at me.

  “You’ll need to ride with one of the others,” she points at the group behind her.

  “Come on, doll, you can ride with me,” the man who’s been staring at me calls out.

  I speed walk to him. Weston said the evil bastard was on his way, and that we don’t have time for being shy.

  “Get on, babe,” he tells me with a smile.

  “It’s Lola, not babe,” I snap at him as I climb on behind him.

  “Name’s Knox. Make sure to hold on tight, Lola,” he tells me as he starts his bike. Without another word, not that I would have heard it over the loud rumble of the motorcycle, we take off. Let me tell you, it isn’t a slow pull out onto the road. It’s like we’re at a race, and he wants first place.

  The ride’s long and exhilarating. I’ve never felt so centered and so free. It feels right like this is where I’m supposed to be.

  Chapter 8

  knox

  Her blonde hair is pulled into a loose braid, and it’s hanging over her shoulder. She’s haloed by the soft glow of the porch light, and I can’t take my eyes off of her. Whoever’s talking to Savanna is fucking beautiful.

  I start to shift on my bike since my dick is hard as fuck. I continue to stare at the woman, knowing that I want her like I want my next ride. Her eyes meet mine, and I feel
like I’m drowning.

  Her head turns back to Weston, and I fight the urge to growl. Look the fuck at me; I want to snarl at her. Something in me screams to take her.

  “What the fuck is your problem?” Crow asks with a knowing smirk.

  The fucker knows what my problem is. It’s about five foot five inches with blonde hair and dark eyes. That’s my problem.

  “Fuck you,” I growl at Crow.

  He laughs like the bastard that he is. I feel like I’m growing a pussy. The more I stare at the woman, the more my mind whispers shit about perfection. Fuck, I hope it doesn’t start singing ballads.

  “She keeps looking at you, man,” Gage tells me with a laugh of his own.

  “Both of you fucktards have gone through this shit with your women. So back the fuck off.” Now I’m thinking of her as my woman? What the actual fuck? I don’t even know her name.

  I watch as she disappears inside, and something in me twists. She better be getting her shit, because she isn’t staying behind.

  “She’s going to get her shit,” Crow announces. “Looks like you’re getting your wish.”

  First, he better fuck off. How the hell does he know that? Second, she isn’t a wish. She’s a fantasy come to damn life. I want to wrap my fingers up in all that hair as I kiss those sexy as fuck lips.

  “How the fuck do you know that?” I ask him.

  Crow turns and looks at me, one eyebrow cocked. “IF you weren’t thinking with your dick, you’d have heard everything like we have.”

  ‘How the fuck hasn’t Maria shot you yet,” I snarl.

  The fucker shrugs and smirks at me. “She likes my dick.”

  Chapter 9

  knox

  She’s wrapped around me, and every fucking inch of her is perfection. Her little hands grip my shirt and press into my abs.

  Her body was shaking, and if I’m not mistaken, she was laughing. This girl’s starting to turn out to be the complete fucking package. I mean, she likes riding, and she’s the hottest woman I’ve ever seen. And she sure as fuck didn’t mind standing up to me.

  She even made sure I knew her name was Lola and not doll. It took everything in me not to laugh and pull her in close. When we got back to the clubhouse, she isn’t going anywhere but to my room.