God, I Hate That Man Read online

  “If you’re sure that’s what you want, dear,” Helen concedes. “I’ve already ordered the stationery. If you can send Finn a list of names and addresses by the end of the day, that would be great. The announcement will be going out tomorrow, and people will expect their invites shortly after.”

  This means I would have to tell my parents sooner rather than later. It didn’t so much matter about my friends. None of them were the kind of people who would read anything that carried society wedding announcements, that much was for sure. “Okay,” I agree, my mind blank.

  “Just a couple more things, Ashley. I trust that you will use your discretion and not breathe a word to anyone of this being anything but a real marriage between two people who love each other,” Helen pontificates.

  I nod quickly. “Of course,” I agree. I don’t add what I’m thinking. Why Helen might be worried about what society would think of her, and I really don’t get that, but I do get why the news of our fake wedding getting out would be bad. I don’t want people whispering about me, talking about the girl who married for money, even if it is for a charity rather than for herself. If anything, I am more determined to keep this whole thing under wraps than Helen. The hardest part of this for me is going to be convincing my friends that Finn is different from how he appears. How beneath his cocky swagger, and all his flashy money, he’s a genuinely nice guy that I could fall in love with.

  Whoa! Where did that come from? I could NEVER EVER fall for him. NEVER.

  “Good,” Helen says decisively. “And… of course, I expect you to throw yourself into planning this wedding. If you have an appointment, I expect you to be there. And please don’t allow Finn here to make you late for everything. If you think there’s a risk of that, call me and I will arrange a car to come and collect you. And Ashley, our family has a certain reputation to uphold. You won’t dangle out any skeletons for anyone to pick up on, will you?”

  Wow, what would she think if she knew I had come here straight after being arrested? Maybe I should tell her and call this whole thing off. I am seriously debating doing just that, but then I see the faces of the kids I would be helping, and the faces of the hundreds of kids we would have to turn away due to a lack of resources, and I know I can’t risk this not happening. “I’m an open book Helen. There are no skeletons in my closet,” I say as my plate is cleared away.

  Helen is all smiles now. She has gotten her way. “Do you have any questions, Ashley?” She really has pulled off a big coup.

  How did I just agree to be the bride in a sham wedding that’s going to be almost as big as the royal wedding of Harry and Meghan? “No,” I say, sneaking a look at Finn.

  He is watching me with a look of amusement.

  I look away quickly. “I think it’s all clear. Or at least it will be when I get a chance to wrap my head around it all.”

  “Oh, you’ll do fine,” she reassures me. “Now, I have to run. Ashley dear, promise me you’ll at least try to enjoy all of this.”

  I smile and nod, although I think Helen and I have very different ideas of fun if she thinks this is something I would enjoy.

  She puts the folder back away, collects the leather bag and her red crocodile skin Birkin, then she stands up.

  Finn stands with her and I quickly follow suit.

  She air-kisses my cheek, does the same to Finn, orders him to call her later, then she’s gone, leaving behind nothing but a faint cloud of her expensive perfume.

  I am starting to understand Finn a little more now, growing up with her as a mother. It’s clear she loves him and wants him to be happy, but from the little I’ve seen, it appears she’s one of those parents who showers their children with money and material things rather than hugs and kisses. I can understand why Finn thinks so highly of his grandpa, who it seemed, didn’t let him get away with any shit. The man must be the one who showed him that money means nothing unless you’ve earned it yourself through hard work.

  I try to remember why I’m mad at Finn. Oh yes, he said my body was unattractive. And he hates my hair. And he thinks I have no dress sense… I would do well to remember that.

  “Wow!” I breathe out a heavy breath of relief. “That was intense to say the least.”

  Finn grins. “If you thought that was bad, you don’t want to see her when someone pisses her off. Believe it or not, she actually seemed to like you.”

  He has a nice smile. It makes his blue eyes sparkle and look warmer. It’s a shame he’s such an asshole behind the smile. I remind myself that we are not really friends. We’re just natural enemies who have been thrown together by his grandfather for reasons unknown.

  “Ooooh… remind me not be around when she’s pissed off.” I laugh nervously. “What made you think she liked me? The part where she presumed I would try to rip you off, the part where she assumed my family couldn’t afford such a wedding, or the part where she warned me off showing your family up by bringing one of my skeletons out of the closet?”

  Finn’s eyes positively twinkle. “All of the above.”

  “I have to give her a credit though. She clearly knows people. After all, I have just been arrested and I could be again. And my family couldn’t afford this wedding. In fact, hardly anyone I know could afford this wedding. Finn, don’t you think this is an awful lot of money to throw away on something that’s not even real?”

  “It is, but it’s her money and it makes her happy. I’m just glad she’s finally come around to the idea that I’m going to do this.”

  “But think of all the good she could do with that money instead. I could put her in touch with several charities that would take her hand out for even a tenth of what this wedding would cost, and surely even in her exalted circles something like that would be well received.”

  Finn’s lips twist. “Yeah, I know exactly what she would say to that idea. It’s not that she wouldn’t want to give any money to charity. She actually makes a lot of donations. It’s just that no matter how much she donated, she’d still do the wedding this way. If it makes you uncomfortable, I can say something to her. Would you like me to?”

  I can’t help but laugh at that suggestion. “Are you joking? Seriously Finn, I would rather cut off my own arm than piss her off.”

  Finn laughs too.

  It’s nice to see him laugh. We have spent so much time bickering and trying to outdo each other in the insult stakes that I realize it’s only about the third time I’ve heard him laugh. He should do it more often. It is great to see he has a good sense of humor beneath the prickly sarcasm.

  “Bullshit,” Finn scoffs. “You were willing to kick down an office door and confront a guy who doesn’t even care if his own daughter got hurt this morning.”

  “Yes, and I’d do that again tomorrow. Trust me, he wouldn’t have been half as scary as I imagine your mom would be if you told her I didn’t approve of any of her wedding plans.”

  “You could be right there. The best thing you can do here is just go with the flow. Choose the lesser of two evils at every turn,” Finn suggests.

  I nod. It seems like that’s about my only choice at this point.

  “How do you feel about some dessert?” He asks.

  I want to, but I shake my head. “No, thank you. I’m not really hungry to be honest.”

  “Really? I saw you salivating as they went back with the dessert trolley,” he teases. “I know we’re never going to be best friends or anything, but we’re stuck with each other for the foreseeable future now, so we might as well at least attempt to be civil to each other.”

  “It’s not that,” I mumble, looking down at the table, not able to meet Finn’s eye.

  “Then what is it?” He asks.

  I look back up and feel the heat flooding my cheeks as I do. “You were right. I feel completely out of place here and I really don’t want to hang around any longer than I have to.”

  “Got it,” Finn says, standing up abruptly.

  Great. Now I’ve pissed him off. The one time I
wasn’t even trying to. “Finn…” I start.

  He turns back and grins at me.

  I feel relief flood through me to see he’s not pissed at all.

  “This place is hardly me either, Ashley. Let’s go grab a burger and maybe some pancakes,” he suggests. “I know a great place downtown.”

  I feel myself smiling as I nod. “Now, you’re talking.”

  6

  Finn

  The drive to the pancake joint is a lot more relaxed than the drive to the restaurant was. In some ways, I think meeting my mom has subdued Ashley a little, but in other ways, I think it’s actually made her like me a little bit more.

  By the time we’re sitting down, eating pancakes dripping with maple syrup and loaded with whipped cream, fruit, and nuts— we haven’t insulted each other once. This has to be a record. It’s been at least half-an-hour. Maybe she can see now that I’m not half as bad as she thinks.

  “Do you realize something, Finn?” she asks, grinning at me over her glass of diet Coke. “In this place, you’re the one who’s totally out of place. You’re so overdressed in your designer suit.” Her eyes are twinkling.

  I know she’s joking and I find myself grinning, instead of snapping back. I shrug. “You’re right, but this is who I am, and if people don’t like it, they’re perfectly welcome not to look. And really, if the people here have nothing to talk about other than my clothes, I feel sorry for them.”

  “You thought the people in the restaurant would judge me for what I was wearing,” Ashley points out.

  “Oh, I knew they would. Because I know they have sad little lives where criticizing someone wearing the wrong clothes or picking up the wrong fork at the dinner table is the most interesting topic of gossip they can possibly think of.”

  “You know, sometimes it sounds like you have such contempt for the world you live in,” Ashley observes.

  I frown.

  She shakes her head and smiles. “That was a compliment Finn.”

  It’s my mother’s world and I don’t actually hold it in contempt, but I guess to her, it is a compliment so I just smile back and let it go. I like this Ashley and I don’t want to go back to arguing. “So you worked in a law firm?” I ask, changing the subject.

  “Yeah,” she tells me. “I was a contract lawyer. I spent my days finding loopholes, so rich guys could screw over poor guys.”

  “Sounds fun,” I comment.

  “It was and it wasn’t. I hated what I was doing to small businesses and everyday people.” She pauses, “But I must admit I enjoyed the intricacy of the work. Scouring five hundred pages to find the one word that changes the whole meaning of the document. When I left that world, I actually debated doing something similar, only on the side of the little guy.”

  “Why didn’t you?” I ask. “I know what you’re doing now is probably more rewarding, but why did you give up something you love?”

  “When I really thought about it, I knew I just couldn’t do it. I knew it would be too heartbreaking. I admire anyone who puts themselves on the line like that day in and day out while knowing they will lose ninety-five percent of their cases. I know all of the corporate tricks because I’ve used them all. Do you have any idea how many unwinnable cases I won because I dragged the case out with continuances, and swamped the guys with thousands of pieces of paperwork, knowing they didn’t have the resources to cope with it? It was just a waiting game until the little guy ran out of money and lost his lawyer and then the case was over. I couldn’t bear to be on the other side of that.”

  “Counter suing was my grandpa's favorite tactic. They sue you. You sue them back for twice the amount they’re suing you for.”

  “This is exactly what I am talking about,” Ashley hypothesizes. “It is so infrequent that the small guy wins. At least now, I’m not the one dangling a thread of hope to someone I know has none.”

  I grin. “And you think I’m included on your bad corporate monster list?”

  “Yes,” Ashley agrees immediately.

  “Why exactly do you think I’m only interested in screwing people over?”

  “You sell computer software, right?”

  I look at her curiously. “Yeah.”

  “I’ve seen the profit margins. I know how much the company rips people off.”

  “Not anymore if I have my way,” I say. “That’s the big change that I’ve brought in that the board disapproves of. I convinced my grandpa that people want this software, but they want it at affordable prices. I showed him a business model where we could sell the same product for half of the price and still make as much profit because it will become more widely available to the average consumer.”

  Ashley raises an eyebrow at this.

  I smile and feel almost proud that I’ve impressed her. I shake my head slightly. What the actual fuck? Since when did I start caring what Ashley thinks of me?

  “That’s actually pretty admirable.” She smiles, a twinkle in her eyes again. “And I’m just going to gloss over the part where you’re still making the same amount of money.”

  “Ah, but look at it this way,” I remark. “If the profits had taken a hit, then my grandpa never would have agreed to this. And even if he had, what do you think would have happened? Layoffs, that’s what would have happened. And believe it or not, I don’t want to be responsible for half our staff losing their jobs. No matter what you think, I’m not a monster who doesn’t give a shit about anyone but myself.”

  “I never said that,” Ashley shoots back defensively.

  “You didn’t have to.”

  “Maybe we both misjudged each other a little bit,” Ashley concedes.

  “Yeah, I think maybe we did.”

  “Why do you think your grandfather put this marriage to me clause into his will?”

  I have pretty much given up on trying to figure out what my grandpa’s motives were with this one. I think I’m just going to stick with the notion he set me a final challenge, one he didn’t think I’d rise to. I wonder if he’s regretting that now, because the more I get to know Ashley, the more I don’t think this is going to be so unbearable.

  “Earth to Finn,” Ashley mocks, pulling me out of my head.

  “Sorry. The truth is, I don’t really know. He wasn’t the sentimental old fool that my mother thinks he was. Even to the very end, he was the sharpest pencil in the box. He must have known I would try to buy my way out of it, maybe he just wanted to give some money to a good cause in his will without looking like a sap.”

  “Well, in that case, I have an idea if you’re not busy this afternoon.”

  I think about the pile of paperwork on my desk, the ton of calls I still have to make to close a deal I’m working on. I really am busy this afternoon, but I’m also incredibly and irresistibly intrigued as to what her idea is. “I could spare a few hours.”

  “Great.” She smiles. “Let’s go then. I thought maybe you’d want to see where some of your money is going to go.”

  “Sure,” I agree as I drop some money on the table and we get up. “Where are we going? Back to your office?”

  “Nope.”

  She’s wearing a smile that tells me I’m not going to like what comes next.

  “I’m going down to the soup kitchen to hand out meals to some homeless kids. We can always use an extra pair of hands.”

  This isn't what I thought I was signing up for, but I don’t want to see disappointment cloud Ashley’s face. Suddenly, I want Ashley to like me. I have never particularly cared one way or the other if people like me or not, and I wouldn’t have given a shit if someone like Ashley judged me, but now, I don’t know what’s happened, but yeah, I really want to make her happy.

  “Lead the way,” I say, and to my surprise, I’m actually looking forward to being the extra hands next to Ashley in the soup kitchen.

  7

  Finn

  By the time Ashley and I leave the soup kitchen, I have had my eyes well and truly opened. I mean, don’t get me wrong, I k
new we had homeless people in the city, but honestly, I’ve never really stopped to think about their plight in any great detail. For the most part, I think they brought it on themselves by choosing not to work.

  Like so many other people, I chose not to see them. Of course, I’ve thrown bits of change into their outstretched hands before, but I’ve never really stopped to think about what it must be really like to live on the streets. I’ve never stopped to think about what it must be like to be constantly cold and hungry, to be constantly shunned and avoided.

  I’ve never thought about the dangers facing these kids every day either. Or what it must be like to be hungry and thirsty, then see people who seem like they have everything, throwing away a half-eaten sandwich. But even more poignantly, I’ve never considered what it must be like to have nothing and no one in this world, to feel like you don’t matter, like no one cares one way or the other about whether you live or die.

  It’s a sobering thought and some of the stories I’ve heard today made my hair stand on end, and others made me burn with anger. After a couple of hours, I started to understand why Ashley does what she does. It’s not about self-gratification, it’s about hearing these stories and realizing that if you just stand back and nod sympathetically, then you are a part of the problem.

  I made a decision while I was there. Even if Ashley backs out of this deal, she’s still getting the money. Obviously, I won’t be able to give her so much each month because that will be out of my hands if the board takes over the company, but she’ll still get the lump sum, and if I walk away from the company and start my own, then her charity will get a percentage of that.

  I’m not about to tell her this though. I might have had my eyes opened to the lives these kids are forced to lead, but I haven’t gone completely soft in the head. I don’t want to give her an easy way out, which would mean I lose everything.

  “You surprised me in there, Finn,” Ashley murmurs as we get into my car. “I kind of expected you to keep the kids at arm’s length.”