At War with Society; or, Tales of the Outcasts Read online

  The Coal-Bunker.

  A certain small critic once took it into his head to laugh at anothercritic for commencing a learned essay with the words, "We are all bornidiots," and the reason of the chuckle, though on the wrong side, wasevident enough; and yet, methinks, the wise saying might have had atail, to the effect, "and many of us live and die idiots." At least Iknow that I have met many imbeciles,--ay, even of that absolute kind whowill not be taught that pain is pain, so that I am obliged to differwith Solomon when he says that "experience teacheth fools." How manybeacon flashes, with red streaks in them, have I not thrown out, amidstthe darkness of crime, to keep my children off the quicksands and theshelving rocks, and the shipwrecks have been as numerous as ever! Have Inot proved the Happy Land to be a hell, resounding with oaths, screams,and hysterical ravings, not the songs of angels, and yet case after caseproved the truth of the wise saying?

  Another flash of the beacon--with perhaps redder streaks--something ofthe old story, yet with a difference. On the second flat of the HappyLand there lived for some considerable time, in 1848, two young women,Isabella Marshall and Margaret Tait. Their den was of the commonorder,--the room and the hiding-hole, the bed, the fir-table, and twochairs, the teapot and cups, two or three broken plates, the bottle andglass, and so forth,--squalor everywhere, like the green mould whichsprings up the more when the sun of domestic comfort flies away at thesight of crime. Yes, the green mould on the once fair living temples;for let them wash, and scrub, and "scent up" as they pleased, and deckout in the stolen or thrice-redeemed finery, the snare of uncircumcisedeyes and sensual hearts was only the covering of impurity. Yet how allthis goes on and thrives. One might be tempted to say, that the loversof "the beautiful" (?) are something like the gobemouches, who admire alittle tang or _hautgout_. Look you, I use the _adjective_ here, justwith the proper amount of derision; for although the fairer of the twoconjunct tenants of the den, Bella, was admired, no one could miss theCain mark of the class. Don't you know it? Coarse snobs, with cassowarygizzards, might think they saw delicacy of skin and colour; whileothers, with a modicum of true refinement, would try to find anothername--not easy, I confess--perhaps livid sickliness, reminding one of adecayed peony of the pale variety. Don't let us mention the faded lily.But what matters it, when the thing is patent to all but those who willnot be taught by experience, just because there is nothing inside torespond to the touch of common sense. Yet withal there is somethingcurious about Nature's manoeuvres, in fencing as she does to concealthe cancer-spots on her favourites, just as if she were so fond of herfew beauties that she will cling to them to the last, supporting theircharms even amidst the blight of vice. Of Margaret I must speakotherwise,--a strong, burly wench, with little to attract, but capitalhands at a grip, or what is not exactly the same, a gripe, and a tiltwhere ferocity stands against self-preservation. The two were very wellmated; for while the one could allure, the other could secure.

  But as the den was incomplete without the hiding-hole, so neither wasthis copartnership of Marshall & Co. perfect without the indispensable"bully;" for though Margaret could do wonders in her way, she couldderive little aid from the delicate Isabella. So James Kidd, a stoutyoung fellow, the Fancy of both, who apportioned his protection andfavour between them according as they supplied him with money, was thechosen partner,--a fellow who, in such a connexion and conspiracy, hadfound an attraction which tore him from his home and his mother, whoseheart he had broken. Nor is it easy otherwise to form a proper estimateof this species of ruffian, pouncing from a hole on a man whose powersof resistance he does not know. He must close in a struggle, which,though never intended to be deadly on his part, may become so, by aresistance or counter attack more powerful than his own. All this hemust do in the very heart of a populous city, and in a large house ofmany flats, where he can count upon no more than the hush of otherfiends, who may screen, though they will take no hand in another'sbusiness. It is in such a scene, enacted in a close room, sometimes withthe light extinguished, and the actors doing their work in the dark,that we can form an adequate idea of the true _furor_ of robbery. Even alistener at the door would hear only the bodily contortions--the deepbreathing--the muttered vengeance--all a deep bass to the stifled trebleof a woman's passion grasping at gold. I have known of two suchconflicts going on in this "Happy Land" at the same moment,--the greatscenes being illustrated the while by orgies in the other dens, thelaughter from which drowned the dull sounds of the conflicts.

  In the particular conspiracy I am now to relate, the scheme of attackwas different from what was usually followed, as you will understandwhen I introduce Mr ---- of ----; and you have only at present to keep inmind the general way of "doing" the victims:--the spring-out of theconcealed bully--the seizure of his object--the assistant women riflingand robbing in the still flickering light--the sudden disappearance ofthe principal actor, which aids the blasphemous oaths of thesubordinates that they know nothing of him, while it leaves theconversational winding-up to those whose conversational powers are soseldom at fault.

  On a certain night of the cold month of December, the delicate Isabella,dressed in the usual mackerel-bait, only a little subdued by the softmuff and boa, so suggestive of softness and delicacy in the wearer, wentout on her mission of love, leaving Kidd and Margaret to await thebringing in of the prey. Nor was it long before she encountered thesympathetic Mr ---- from Cumberland, who could make pleasure wait onbusiness--just as a pretty handmaiden who comes and goes, and goes andcomes. Oh yes, seldom coy, that faithful helpmate of anxioushearts--always everywhere and yet nowhere, turning her face anddisappearing to return again. Then why shouldn't sympathy for a tendercreature, exposed to a December chill, help the sympathy due to himself?He would not prey on that tenderness--only purchase a little pleasurewith money that would nurse the seller in that land of bliss, whereJustice would see to a fair bargain, Love filling the scales withhearts. So Mr ---- would go with Isabella; all in the oldway--respectable house--matronly mistress. Why, it would even be a dutyto warm with a glass of generous spirits so gentle a creature. Up theNorth Bridge, and down the High Street--a sudden stand at the foot ofthe stair of the Happy Land. Mr ---- did not think there was muchpromise of pleasure in that dark old region of sin, and he would be offand leave her who required so much sympathy from hard-hearted man. ButMr ---- was a man of feeling notwithstanding, and how could he resist anappeal to his heart by one who asked no more than his arm up the stair?Nor did he. With Isabella receiving the proffered support, he mountedthe stair. They entered the dingy lobby, and came to a door. The gentleknock, not to disturb the decent woman, and Margaret

  ----, "who knew the meaning of the same,"

  opened, but not until Kidd had got into the closet.

  Whether it was that our gentleman had heard some noise of a retreat, orthat he had had his prior doubts confirmed by the smoky appearance ofthe den, I cannot tell, but certain it is that the startled loverstopped again.

  "No, I have seen enough," he cried, and was retreating, when Margaret,laying hold of him, pulled him in by main force.

  "Away so soon," she cried, laughing, while yet retaining her masculinegrasp, "and not even bid us good night?"

  "Or offer us a glass," added the gentle Bella. "Surely two women can'tharm a man!"

  But Mr ----, who had felt, and was feeling, the tenderness of Margaret'slove embrace, was perhaps more dissatisfied than ever, and hearing theclick of the bolt under Isabella's stealthy hand got more resolute. Outgoes the light, and now commenced one of those struggles for which theHappy Land was so famous. Another man, on thus finding himself encaged,and so suddenly deprived of light, might have succumbed to fear; but ourhero was not of the timid order, who can enjoy love and be dead to thetrump of war. Not even when he heard the spring of Kidd, as he bouncedfrom his cell, did he think of yielding, but, by a strong effortthrowing off the women, he made towards the door. He had even succeededso far as to search for the lock, but found, to his dismay, that the keyhad been taken ou
t. On turning round he was immediately in the grasp ofKidd, with the women hanging upon him. And now was the real conflict;all the contortions--the deep breathings from the oppressed lungs--thethumps on the sides of the room--but not a word of speech, onlysmothered mutterings and oaths ground between the teeth.

  The effort on the part of the assailants was to get the gentleman on hisback on the floor; nor could this issue be prolonged for many minutes,with a force of three arrayed against one. Yet the attempt failed morethan once, an interval being occupied by a cry for help, shouted at thetop of his voice, and responded to by an orgie-laugh from the furtherend of the lobby, and some suppressed mirth at the back of the door, asif some creatures of human shape were there, in the full enjoyment ofwhat was likely to be their own game at another time. As confessed byMr ---- afterwards, this evidence of how completely he was, as it were,doubly or trebly caged, struck him with more dismay than even theextinguishing of the light or the bound of Kidd from his recess. Theidea took hold of him that he was to be murdered, and though under thisenergy, inspired by the love of life, the increased strain brought up inhis enemies by his now desperate resistance laid him flat on his back,with such force that his head dirled to the brain.

  The remaining part of the process was easy--the gold watch pulled out ofhis pocket, the click of the bolt, and Kidd was gone.

  "Catch the thief!" cried Margaret, with just enough of force as to reachthe ears of the poor victim, as he lay stunned with the knock on thehead, and almost exhausted by the struggle.

  "He's gone," added the gentle Isabella.

  "Who is gone?" said Mr ----, as he looked up in the now lighted room.

  "Why, the d----d villain who has taken your watch," replied Margaret.

  "An accomplice," groaned the victim, as he attempted to rise.

  "It's a lie, sir," replied Margaret again, with increased fury, as shebreathed fast from her exertions. "The fellow lives ben in the otherroom, and this is not the first time he has played us a trick of thesame kind; but he'll be hanged some day."

  "Yes, and the sooner the better," joined Isabella. "Come, we cannot helpit. There's no use following him. Give us a dram for defending you."

  "Ay, for saving your life," added her neighbour; "for we know he wouldhave murdered you."

  "I felt _your_ hand on my throat," cried Mr ----.

  "Bob's, you mean," was the answer. "He has a hand like a woman, and yetit would choke a tiger."

  "I felt all your _six_ hands on me," roared he, unable to stand eventhis transparent dodge.

  "How could we know you from him in the dark?" cried Margaret. "Weintended to pull him off, and that's our thanks, and you'll not evengive us a 'budge,' but accuse two innocent girls for being robbers."

  "Oh, it's the way with them all," added Isabella. "They first ruin us,and then charge us with theft; but we deserve it, don't we, for trustingtheir lying words."

  "Liars and thieves, one and all of you," replied the gentleman. "Youknow you inveigled me here to be robbed by your bully. That watch costme L20."

  "Well, then," said Margaret, "give us L5--you have money about yousomewhere--and we'll tell you where you will catch him."

  "Worse and worse," ejaculated Mr ----; "but what am I doing here?" headded, as he for the first time, after recovering from his stupor,bethought himself of following the thief; and gathering up his hat, andarranging his torn garments, he made for the door.

  "Not till you pay us for saving your life," said Margaret, as she stoodbetween him and the door, with the intention, no doubt, merely ofgaining time for Kidd.

  And so, to be sure, she made only a faint effort to hold him back, andhe, pulling open the door, rushed out into the dark passage, saluted ashe disappeared by the hoarse laugh of the women, and, as he thought,some other indications of the same kind from the sympathisers furtherben. Glad to get off a living man, but yet not inclined to give up aslost his valuable property, he half walked and half tumbled down thestair of this, to him, most _unhappy_ land; nor did he stop till he wasin my presence in the Office. A few words, uttered with much difficulty,very soon satisfied me that he was one of a host who had been turnedaway from the Happy Land with less ceremony than "Frau Schnipps," on anoccasion not altogether similar.

  "Wait there," said I, "I will bring up the women in the first place."

  "Oh, you know them?" said he.

  "Yes, about as well as you, sir."

  "And that's too well," said he, with something like a heave of thechest.

  "Bell Marshall and Margaret Tait," said I; "but they haven't the watch,and I know they will say they were helping you. The man is my object."

  So leaving him, and taking with me two constables, I went to the scene.As I expected, I found the girls. Two or three of the children of theHappy Land were with them, all engaged in drinking and laughing, nodoubt at the excellent drama that had just ended, and upon which theythought that the green curtain had been drawn for ever, for it is notvery often that the slain hero makes his appearance again at our Office;and there can be no question that sometimes it is as prudent to pocketshame as it is to put a gold sovereign into your purse, with thedifference, that while the one ought to remain, the other should comeout for the benefit of society. I was not expected, and was accordinglygreeted with the honour of perfect silence.

  "The old game, my lasses," said I, as I beckoned to the others to getoff, which they very soon did, growling as they went along the passage;"where is the gentleman's watch?"

  "Search, and answer for yourself," replied Margaret. "The man has it."

  "What man?"

  "How should we know? He came in upon us; we did our best to save thegentleman, and the scurvy dog wouldn't give us a penny to buy pins."

  "Came _out_, you mean," said I; "the old story, 'the great unknown.' YetI think I know him."

  Just as I was speaking, I felt some small object under my foot, andstooping down found a small gold watch-key. The women looked sharp totry and find out what I had picked up and put into my pocket, but theysaid nothing, neither did I.

  "Come," said I. "The gentleman is in the Office, and wishes to thank youfor trying to save his life."

  "Umph, and true, by ----," said the reprobate.

  "A terrible fellow this 'unknown,'" said I, rather by way of amusingmyself as they were getting equipped. "Don't pare your nails, for Iintend to introduce him to you."

  And proceeding to make a search, which I knew would be attended by nogreater result than a mocking laugh from my lasses, I was forced to becontent with my small recovery of the gold key.

  I marched them up to quarters where they had been before. It was toolate that night to go after Kidd. I was sure enough of him, and an earlycatch was of no use as regarded the recovery of the watch, which I knewhe would not carry with him a moment longer than he could find ahiding-place for it, and that he would find far more readily than onefor himself.

  Next morning some of the constables, who knew where Kidd's mother livedin the Pleasance, thought very wisely they might help me in their way bysearching the house. This they accordingly did before I was well out ofbed; but their report was unfavourable. He was not in the house, andthe mother denied all knowledge of her worthless son. I have often hadreports of this kind made to me before, but I have been always fond ofmaking my own searches. So away I went to do the work over again; but,to say the truth, I had little hope. It was as early as nine.

  "I want to know where James is," said I, as I entered the little shop.

  "God bless me," said she, with wondering eyes, "more policemen! why themen are scarcely awa'. They searched the hail house, and found naebody.Am I no enough tormented and heartbroken wi' a neer-do-weel son, but Imaun be treated as his keeper, whether I hae him or no, and my housesearched by man after man, as if I mysel' were a breaker of the laws."

  "I know you are not a breaker of the laws, Mrs Kidd," replied I, calmly,"and that's the very reason why you should even cheerfully allow anofficer to go through your house. I am not in th
e habit of stealing,and, besides, I wish you to go along with me."

  "But there's nae occasion," was the reply. "Have I no tauld ye your menare scarcely out o' the house, and lang and sair they searched. It's nothat I fear aught, nor the trouble either, but it's the nonsense."

  "I will put up with the nonsense," said I.

  "Maun I tell you a third time," said she, with increased firmness,"that my house has been searched by twa men, wi' twa een each, thismorning already?"

  "Then two eyes more can do the less harm," replied I, with a quietpertinacity at least equal to her own, especially, and no doubt aconsequence of, the said pertinacity on her part, which appeared to mesomewhat more than was required, according to her own theory.

  "Weel, een here or een there, there's naebody in my house, and what'sthe use of our paying for your men, when you have nae faith in them onymair than in me?"

  An adroit reply, but somehow the more she said the more I thought, onlyin a different direction. I had dallied myself into suspicion, and hadlittle time to spare.

  "Come," said I, "let us end this; but I have consideration. I don't wantto trouble you to go up stairs with me."

  "I've been up already with the men," she persisted, "and really I'm nojust pleased to hae my word doubted. I'm no a policeman, and I've ayethought that when a man doesna believe me, he thinks me a leer. Just gaeyour wa's, and be sure there's nae James Kidd in my house."

  "Well," replied I, getting impatient, "I must just step up myself."

  "Weel," was the tardy reply, "a wilfu' man maun hae his ain way. Comeawa', and ye'll see what you'll mak o't."

  And leading the way very reluctantly, she preceded me up to the littleflat. I entered the kitchen, and began to peer about as carelessly toappearance as usual; but I confess I saw nothing which could lead me tosuspect that there was any human being there except Mrs Kidd and myself;and she did not seem inclined to condole with me in my disappointment,though I could see, too, that she abstained from shewing any triumph inmy discomfiture.

  "You see how little harm my survey is doing you," said I. "It is evenpleasant work."

  "It's no to me, whatever it may be to you," said she. "You are searchingfor my son, and isn't that enough for the heart of a mother? You'remaybe no a father, and canna ken thae things. Ay, it's sair to hae theheart broken by the hands that should hae comforted it and bound it up.It's the turning back o' the yearning that braks it; but now I fancyye're satisfied James is no here."

  And I felt for the poor woman. I had the parlour to look through; but asthe sounds of her grief fell on my ear, I stood musing a little, andwhen the mind is occupied, the eye trifles, and mine trifled, as well asdid my foot, as I used it in kicking away a bit of coal, a "churl" as wecall it, that lay before me. At the same instant my eye caught the heapof coals in the corner, and two thoughts came into my head--first, whythe coals should be in _that_ place; and secondly, why the "churl"should be in _this_ place. It had not come there where it lay by havingbeen dropped, because it was not in the line to the fire, and then itwas at the edge of a little door which had escaped my notice; or rather,I should say, it was so small an affair, without sneck or lock-handle,that I thought it a mere cupboard. Again, why was the "churl" sosituated as if it had come out of the small recess? And once more, whywas the cupboard without a projection whereby it could be opened? Ah,well, how the mind will work even when it is playing.

  "What place is this?" said I.

  "Oh, a little cupboard," said Mrs Kidd; "just a place for cups andsaucers."

  "Which you use every day?"

  "Every day."

  "And yet there is no sneck-handle, whereby you can get in when you aremaybe in a hurry for a cup of tea?"

  No answer from poor Mrs Kidd, and the thought came that the coals in thecorner were surely out of place, in a little tidy house; and just markhow that kind of natural logic works.

  "I should just like to look in."

  "And what would be the use? Hae ye never seen a number o' marrowlesscups and saucers?"

  And maybe something even more marrowless, thought I, as, taking out apenknife and inserting it in a small slit, something like that of acheck lock, I opened the door, and there, lying in a hole--the veritablebunker--was my friend of the Happy Land, extended on a small mattress.On this exposure, the poor mother covered her face with her hands andsobbed hysterically.

  "The last o't," she said, in a voice broken by sobs. "The lang train o'griefs a' frae whaur there should hae come comfort and help is wound up.I hide and conceal nae mair, and what signified my hiding when God sawthrough a'. Tak him, sir; and may ye mak o' him a better man to hisbrither-man, than he has been a son to me."

  "Has he given you a watch?" said I, in the expectation of profiting bywhat I considered to be a breaking down.

  "No," she replied, "I have never had ony o' his secrets, nor for a langtime has he been near me, except when he wanted meat. His wild ways arebest kenned to himsel', but I fear women and drink have been his ruin."

  "Rise, James," said I, "and give me the watch you robbed the gentlemanof last night in the Happy Land."

  "I deny it," replied the incorrigible rogue, as he rose slowly, cursingbetween his teeth.

  I searched the house, but the watch was never recovered. The three werebrought to the High Court. It was a difficult case, in consequence ofthe darkness of the scene, which prevented recognition of Kidd; but astrange circumstance supplied the want. Mr ---- could swear that Kiddhad a large hard wart upon the right hand--the rough pressure of whichin his neck had pained him so as to leave an impression on his mind. Thewart was found still upon the thumb. Then the watch-key served itspurpose, and it was found that Kidd was the daily associate of thewomen. They were each transported for fourteen years.