Guarding His Heart Read online

  “I told you before. That’s not appropriate. It’s not my job,” Mark said back, and he didn’t actually take a step away from Christian, but it was very obvious that he was standing apart from him. Aloof as always.

  “Well, it’s going to have to be your job, because you have to watch me and I only hang out with people who are my friends,” Christian said. Even he knew it was a bit nonsensical, but he had to hope that Mark got the idea behind it.

  “Listen, Christian, there’s something we need to get straight,” Mark started, but Christian had had enough, suddenly.

  “No, you listen. Your job is to make me feel comfortable, right? Or at least part of it is. And I don’t want some damn robot following me around. If you want me comfortable, you’re going to have to act like a person. You’re going to have to relax.”

  Mark took a deep breath, and there was a strange look in his dark eyes suddenly. A strange, intense, deeply focused look, a look that made Christian breathless suddenly because it was like those eyes saw nothing but him.

  “You really, really don’t want me to relax,” the man said, and Christian could feel his heart pounding against his rib cage suddenly. Right then and there, out of nowhere, Christian felt some very strange things, things that he’d never felt about anyone before.

  He wouldn’t let himself think too much about what those things were, though. That was dangerous. Dangerous and confusing.

  “Yeah, I do,” Christian said, but at the same time, he found himself stepping back. Just one or two steps, trying to be subtle, but the truth was, something about the look in Mark’s eyes terrified Christian.

  Terrified and intrigued, which made it even more terrifying.

  Mark was gay, wasn’t he?

  Christian would almost swear to it. Something about the look in the man’s eyes when he looked at Christian. Maybe he was bi, though. He didn’t really know, because he hadn’t seen him interact with any women. But there was something about the way that he’d just looked at him that had seemed very interested.

  Christian had no problem with gay guys. He honestly didn’t. They’d never bothered him, so he didn’t bother them. He’d had friends that were gay, some of the members of his band, both past and present, were gay.

  It was just that he wasn’t. He was interested in women, and he always had been.

  “Never mind,” Christian said hurriedly. He turned away from Mark, almost tripping over himself in his eagerness to get away. Maybe he didn’t need to make friends with this guy.

  Maybe Mark, in fact, had the right idea about keeping things between them purely professional.

  * * *

  It was almost a relief when Christian’s agent called him, asking him to come in as soon as he could to discuss concert dates, album releases, and just general business stuff.

  That would be good. Get out of the house for a bit. Christian had just come back from a little mini tour of California, and it had been nice to spend some time at home.

  But now, with Mark there, everywhere he looked, Mark watching him, Mark’s scent, subtle and masculine, still seeming to fill the room, made him think. Maybe he’d spent enough time at home.

  Not that Mark had tried anything. Despite that faintly ominous look in his eyes, he hadn’t harassed Christian at all. Part of him was curious. What would happen if …

  It was better not to think about this. Better to distract himself with business. So he texted the rest of the band to suggest an extra practice. It would get some grumbles from them, he knew, especially since they had just gotten back, but it was important that they practice, anyway.

  The whole time, he did his best to ignore Mark. That was what he was supposed to do, right? Just go about his business. And for awhile, he found he could do that.

  It was better than dealing with that look he’d seen in the other man’s eyes. Or his own startling reaction to it. The strange desire he’d had to be crushed up against that hulk of a man while at the same time being freaked out by the very thought.

  Which led to him being unusually quiet as he drove over to his agent’s office. He had Mark in the car with him, of course. Mark, who didn’t say a word, but who seemed to fill up the space with his presence. His warm, masculine, compelling presence.

  For the first time in his life, Christian found himself actively wishing that he were interested in guys. It might be interesting to find out what being with someone like Mark would be like.

  Of course, he somehow doubted that Mark made a habit of sleeping with his clients, anyway. He’d probably drop dead with shock if anyone even suggested it. Or just disapprove of them and glower at them until they went away and gave up on the idea.

  Once in the office, Christian settled down and looked at his agent. He wasn’t sure he liked the man much, but he had to admit that he had been good for his career, and Christian supposed that was more important.

  Mark, meanwhile, was standing by the door, ready in case a crazed fan burst in with a gun. Or whatever it was that Mark was afraid would happen, whatever it was that required constant vigilance from the man.

  Damn it. No matter how much Christian felt like he’d been distancing himself from this man, every so often he had to look at himself and realize that he was really way too aware of where Mark was at any given time.

  “The new album is doing great. It’s breaking out of California to get national play,” Christian tried to listen as his agent explained things to him. “How would you feel about Eternity going on national tour?”

  Christian blinked, and his attention, for once, was brought off of Mark. A tour. A big, national tour. How many times had he dreamed of that sort of thing when he was nothing but a YouTube sensation? When he and the rest of Eternity, the band that he’d founded in high school, were playing in people’s parents’ garages, and getting any money for their music was nothing but a pipe dream?

  “You think we can go on tour? A big tour like that?” Christian shook his head, not in denial, but just in disbelief. Even going through California on his last tour had seemed like nothing short of a dream come true. This was a whole new level.

  “You need to realize who you are, Christian,” his agent said, a slight smirk on his lips. “You guys, you’re a big deal. If you play your cards right, if you avoid any major scandals, you guys could all be a much bigger deal.”

  Christian didn’t blush much at all. It just wasn’t his style. He found his cheeks wanting to go a little pink, though. No major scandals. Like hooking up with his bodyguard?

  Not that that would ever happen, but he couldn’t really deny that he’d wanted to. At least for a moment or two, before his rational mind kicked in. Even just to know what it would be like.

  Idle curiosity. Nothing that either he or Mark would ever go for. But he couldn’t help but wonder what would happen if he did sleep with him, and if it ever got out. Would that be a major enough scandal to ruin his career, even in this day and age?

  “Just keep your shit together, that’s all you have to do. Don’t go too crazy with the drugs, the alcohol, and be careful who you sleep with. Just don’t do anything that will get the paparazzi to pay too much attention to you. A little bit is good, but … I don’t want to see you crash and burn, kid.”

  Christian shook his head. A gay affair would be far too risky. Why was he even thinking about it? It wasn’t even his style. It was like if he started worrying about what would happen if he flew to the moon under his own power.

  Only maybe it wasn’t quite that ridiculous. Remembering the look in Mark’s eyes when he’d warned him off, he had to repress a shiver. No, not ridiculous at all, even if it should be.

  “Look, I can take care of myself,” Christian assured the other man. Which reminded him. Should he say something to his agent about being annoyed that he’d saddled him with Mark?

  But couldn’t that get Mark in trouble, if he did? The man hadn’t done anything wrong, and Christian didn’t want to cause him any problems. So he didn’t say anything. He’d
save that for if he absolutely had to. He was strong enough to resist these odd urges, anyway.

  Still, as he left to go to his practice, he had to wonder if he’d made the right call on that one.

  * * *

  Christian’s day hadn’t really gone so well. Well, no. Really, it had been a mixed sort of day, he had to remind himself. He had gotten some really good news that he couldn’t wait to pass onto his band.

  His band, who were undoubtedly cranky as they filed in, not pleased about the extra practice. They’d only gotten back a few days ago, and they were all pretty tired.

  “Who’s the stiff?” Nick asked as he came in, pushing his sandy blond hair out of his face. He was the drummer, the sort of guy who had about as much tact as a sledgehammer to the face.

  He was looking right at Mark, of course. Mark, who was standing there, completely silent. If he heard Nick’s comment, he didn’t say anything about it. He just stood there impassively, those dark eyes seeming to miraculously see everything.

  “Oh, uh.” Christian shook his head. This was going to be a nightmare. He’d known Nick since high school, and there was no way that the man was going to let him get away without some serious teasing for this. “That’s Mark. He’s my bodyguard.”

  Nick reacted just as Christian had been sure he would. He gasped dramatically, and then reached over to grab Briana, the bassist, pulling her over to whisper rather loudly at her, “Did you know our Christian needs a bodyguard now? He’s that big of a deal.”

  Briana rolled her eyes and pulled away from him.

  “Shut up, Nick,” she said. It was something that they all said on a fairly regular basis. “Of course he needs a bodyguard, with all the shit that’s happened to him.”

  Christian shook his head.

  “That’s kind of overstating the case, don’t you think?” he asked, his tone deliberately mild and amused. “One break-in to my place and a couple of creepy fan letters don’t count as ‘all the shit’.”

  Briana turned her dirty look on him. She was pretty good at dirty looks, but she was also one of the best friends that he’d ever had. The whole band, actually, fell into that category. Some of them, he’d known for almost a decade. Some, like Briana herself, were more recent additions.

  “Well, I’m glad you have him,” she said, tossing her dark hair over her shoulder and shooting Mark a look that Christian identified as being flirtatious pretty easily. “He could come in handy. All those rippling muscles.”

  “Nice try,” Christian said, grinning at her. Mark didn’t so much as look at her. There was no hint, not even the slightest trace, of interest in those dark eyes of his.

  Christian’s theory about the dude being gay seemed to be pretty good, actually. Briana was a pretty girl, curvy in all the right places, and she had those lovely dark eyes and long, curly black hair. Most men would at least give her a second look, at work or not.

  Not that he cared. It was really none of his business if Briana dragged Mark off to bed right away. It was just that he was a little bit happy that didn’t seem to be likely to happen, that’s all.

  “Oh well,” Briana said cheerfully. Nothing seemed to keep her down for very long. “Can’t blame a girl for trying.”

  Christian shook his head. Seriously, nothing seemed be able to break through her constant good humor. She was the only one who had any energy, he realized, gazing around the small group of people meeting in his studio. When he’d gotten his first really huge royalty check, this studio, in his own home, had been one of his first priorities.

  “So should we practice or what?” Justin, the keyboardist, asked. “I think we’re all pretty tired from that last tour.” The man smirked suddenly. “Except Briana.”

  Christian laughed while Briana stuck out her tongue at him, and then shook his head.

  “We can in a second, if you guys want, but mostly, I got you all here to tell you something that’s a moderately big deal,” Christian said. Which wasn’t technically true, since he’d called them together before he’d gone to his agent, but it sounded good.

  Briana stopped playfully glaring at Justin and instead turned her attention to Christian.

  “What is it? Is it about the new album?” she asked.

  “Kind of,” Christian admitted. “I talked to Larry today. He says the new album has hit pretty big.”

  He waited for the cheers to die down, because it got so much better than that. At least, he hoped they saw it that way. If they were too tired from the previous tour …

  “So he wants us to go on tour again.”

  There was a stunned silence, and then Justin, who was frowning, finally spoke.

  “We just got back from one,” he pointed out. “I still need to catch up on the sleep that I missed from it.”

  Christian shook his head.

  “Oh, that’s too bad. So you guys don’t want to go on a national tour?”

  Things sort of dissolved into shrieks and laughter after that. Christian really should have known better. Of course his band was happy. This was the biggest thing that they’d ever been offered. They would make ridiculous amounts of money, assuming nothing terrible happened.

  More than that, the childhood dreams that each and every single one of them had had would be fulfilled. It would be the first really big sign, to all of them, that they’d made it.

  Briana went around hugging everyone, and then grinned when she got to Christian.

  “We’re all going to need a Mark of our own soon enough,” she said, before moving on to hug Nick.

  Mark.

  For just a moment, Christian had forgotten about Mark. In his eagerness to share the good news with the band, he had actually, for a few seconds, forgotten his bodyguard. He hadn’t thought it was possible, but maybe he was starting to understand how someone could just take it for granted.

  He glanced over, and saw that Mark’s jaw was tense. Like he was annoyed. Or was Christian just imagining it?

  Before he could think too much about it, he was pulled back into the impromptu celebration.

  Chapter Five

  Mark

  Maybe it would have been wise if Mark had done some research on this band before he’d agreed to take on this job. He literally hadn’t even known Christian’s name when he’d taken the job, only his address.

  Not that it would have changed much. He would go where he was told to go, that’s just how it worked. He’d never turned down a job, and he wouldn’t have started then.

  Maybe, though, if he’d expected the pretty girl, who was clearly a member of Christian’s band, to be there, it wouldn’t have felt quite as much like a punch to the gut to see her hugging Christian. Hanging off of him.

  Christian didn’t belong to Mark, and Mark had never been attached to anyone enough to really get into the whole possessiveness thing. He’d never really gotten it before.

  It really would have been nice to have some warning.

  None of which was reasonable, and he knew it. Back before he’d met Christian, or, rather, before he’d known who Christian was, he never could have known that he’d care who the man made friends with. Or even who he took to bed. Bodyguards saw a lot, and the best thing for them to do was to largely ignore it, outside of analyzing the situation for threat.

  In short, if he’d been told that Christian liked to bend Briana over ten times a day on the kitchen table, he would have just shrugged. What his client did sexually was really none of his business.

  So then why was a simple hug enough to make him so upset?

  He was losing his mind. The stress of the job would get to people after awhile. He’d always thought he was immune to that, but obviously, he was crazy enough to get obsessed with a straight man that he could never have.

  There was no practice that night, just a party. A small one. They ordered a pizza, and hung around talking about all of their hopes and dreams. All of the big plans they had for the future.

  The whole time, Mark watched Christian. Even when the home
security team that he’d called in to outfit Christian’s house came in to give him the report, even as he okayed them making all of the changes that they wanted to make ensure that Christian was safe, Mark didn’t take his eyes off of the young man.

  * * *

  It felt like days until the rest of the band finally left. Briana hugged Christian again, then gave Mark a bright smile. Was she mocking him? Could she tell how Mark was quickly coming to feel about Christian?

  “Nice to meet you, tall, dark, and handsome,” she said, making Mark blink. That was … surprisingly forward. Maybe that was just how she was, flirtatious with everyone.

  That actually wasn’t all that comforting.

  The rest of the band left, and Mark found it interesting that all of them said goodbye, even if just with a nod. In the world Mark usually inhabited, it wasn’t normal to acknowledge the bodyguard at all.

  These kids just didn’t know any better. It was strange to be treated like a person, though. Strange and disconcerting.

  When they were all gone, Christian approached Mark. That actually surprised Mark a fair bit. He’d been fairly sure that he’d scared the younger man off, and he had, in fact, sort of been trying to do so.

  The fact that he’d succeeded had made him grimly pleased with himself. It had made him even more sure that the other man was straight, and that anything happening between them would be impossible because of that.

  Of course, there were also so many other reasons.

  Despite all that, though, Christian was walking toward him, all smooth grace and beautiful, wild blond curls. He stopped in front of Mark, looking at him thoughtfully, and it was then that Mark realized that Christian was drunk. Not falling down drunk, but definitely intoxicated.

  “Come watch a movie with me,” Christian urged. He was, by no means, completely wasted, that was obvious. Just drunk enough to be friendly. More friendly than usual.