Zombies, Vampires, and Philosophy Read online

  Table of Contents

  Popular Culture and Philosophy Series Editor: George A. Reisch

  Title Page

  A New Lease of Life for the Undead

  PART I - It’s Alive (Sort Of)

  Chapter 1 - The Badness of Undeath

  Some Haunted Housekeeping

  Deprivation and Desire-Frustration

  Human Beings, Vampires, Zombies, Pigs, and Fools

  Evil, All Too Evil

  Not to Put Too Fine a Point on It

  Chapter 2 - Res Corporealis: Persons, Bodies, and Zombies

  Persons

  Bodies

  Zombies: The Terror

  Zombies: The Tragedy

  “They’re Just Dead Flesh”

  “This Was an Important Place in Their Lives”

  Dead People

  Chapter 3 - “She’s Not Your Mother Anymore, She’s a Zombie!”: Zombies, Value, ...

  The Value of a Zombie

  The Philosophical Challenge of Zombies

  Dead or Alive?

  Self as Fiction

  “Not Your Mother!”

  Zombies and Us

  Chapter 4 - Dead Serious: Evil and the Ontology of the Undead

  Some Puzzles about Undeath

  Conceptual Truths about the Undead

  Kinds of Undead

  A Touch of Evil

  Evil and the Undead

  Resting in Peace

  Chapter 5 - Zombies, Blade Runner, and the Mind-Body Problem

  Zombies and Replicants

  And Bears! Oh No: Zombies Invade Philosophy

  Zombies Ate My Brain!

  Plan B from Inner Space: Revenge of the Zombies

  How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Zomb

  Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep?

  PART II - Undead White Males

  Chapter 6 - Heidegger the Vampire Slayer: The Undead and Fundamental Ontology

  Sympathy for the Vampire

  The Philosophy of Death

  Dracula as Inauthentic Being

  Heil Heidegger? Dracula’s Willing Executioners

  Chapter 7 - When There’s No More Room in Hell, the Dead Will Shop the Earth: ...

  “Let’s Go Shopping First!”: We Are the Zombies

  “I Don’t Want to Be Walking Around Like That!”: Living versus Living Well

  “Attention All Shoppers: If You Have a Sweet Tooth, We Have a Treat for You!”: ...

  “Hey, Let’s Get the Stuff We Need!”: Putting the Mall in Its Place

  Chapter 8 - Zombies, Rest, and Motion: Spinoza and the Speed of Undeath

  Slow Zombies

  (De)composing Bodies

  Fast Zombies

  PART III - Dirty Rotting Scoundrels

  Chapter 9 - Zombie Gladiators

  On the Prowl

  Philosophical Zombies

  Automata Among Us

  A Plea for Zombie Gladiators

  Amorality of Zombies and Moral Obligations of the Conscious

  Postmodern Postmortem

  Chapter 10 - Should Vampires Be Held Accountable for Their Bloodthirsty Behavior?

  Vampires versus Zombies

  Dracula: Amoral or Immoral?

  Noble Louis and Villainous Lestat

  Some Implications: Equal Rights for Vampires

  Universal Rights: Vampires, Space Aliens, Robots, and Humans

  Chapter 11 - The Bloody Connection Between Vampires and Vegetarians

  Reasoning with Vampires

  Damned if You Do, Damned if You Don’t

  It’s a Matter of Taste

  Cold Clammy Consistency

  Chapter 12 - Damned if You Do, Damned if You Don’t: Vampires and the Hedonistic Paradox

  The Vampire’s Plight

  I Am Neither Living nor Dead—I Am Undead

  Either Way, I’m Damned if I Do

  Good Guy Vampires?

  Chapter 13 - Deserving to Be a Vampire: The Ethical and Existential Elements of Vampirism

  Got Blood?

  Does It Hurt?

  Undeath Sure Beats the Alternative

  Undeath: Ultimately Uninteresting?

  Deserving to Be a Vampire

  PART IV - Digging Up the Body Politic

  Chapter 14 - The Political Economy of Non-Coercive Vampire Lifestyles

  Libertarianism and Welfarism Defined

  Vampire Personhood

  Ethical and Political Implications of Vampire Personhood

  From Politics Back to Personhood

  Possibilities for Human-Vampire Co-operation

  Chapter 15 - Rousseau and the Vampires: Toward a Political Philosophy of the Undead

  “No Evidence Is Lacking”: A Plague of Vampires

  Hunting Satan’s Brood: The Enemy Within

  Beyond Hunger

  Itchy and Scratchy: Cartoon Cannibalism

  Revulsion: Our Dead Bodies, Our Selves

  Oceans of Time: The Romantic Vampire

  Alien Invasions: The Vampiric Immigrant

  The Evil Enemy

  In the Borderlands of Buffy World

  A Political Philosophy of Vampires

  Chapter 16 - The Undead Martyr: Sex, Death, and Revolution in George Romero’s ...

  Repressive Civilization

  The Destructive Union of Eros and Thanatos

  The Possibility of a Non-Repressive Civilization

  Chapter 17 - When They Aren’t Eating Us, They Bring Us Together: Zombies and ...

  Civic-Mindedness versus Fear

  Communitarian Impulse

  Importance of Community Connection

  No Way Out

  PART V - Leaving a Good-Looking Corpse

  Chapter 18 - The Fear of Fear Itself: The Philosophy of Halloween

  Halloween: The Festival of the Wandering Undead

  The Paradox of Halloween

  A Psychoanalytic Solution

  The Meta-Fear of Fear

  Chapter 19 - “Powerful, Beautiful, and Without Regret”: Femininity, ...

  Beauty 101

  “I’m Too Sexy for My Mirror”

  The Female Vampire as Femme Fatale

  The Male Vampire as Metrosexual . . . Sort Of

  Chapter 20 - True and Untrue Blood

  Blood Is the Life

  The Fount of Immortality

  Let It Bleed

  False Blood

  Oh Yes, There Will Be Blood

  Chapter 21 - The Twilight of Infinite Desire

  A Meditation on the Word - By Étienne Lavec

  Philosophers by Day . . .

  Hemolytic Index

  Copyright Page

  Popular Culture and Philosophy ® Series Editor: George A. Reisch

  VOLUME 1

  Seinfeld and Philosophy: A Book about Everything and Nothing (2000)

  VOLUME 2 The Simpsons and Philosophy: The D’oh! of Homer (2001)

  VOLUME 3

  The Matrix and Philosophy: Welcome to the Desert of the Real (2002)

  VOLUME 4

  Buffy the Vampire Slayer and Philosophy: Fear and Trembling in Sunnydale (2003)

  VOLUME 6

  Baseball and Philosophy: Thinking Outside the Batter’s Box (2004)

  VOLUME 9

  Harry Potter and Philosophy: If Aristotle Ran Hogwarts (2004)

  VOLUME 12

  Star Wars and Philosophy: More Powerful than You Can Possibly Imagine (2005)

  VOLUME 13

  Superheroes and Philosophy: Truth, Justice, and the Socratic Way (2005)

  VOLUME 17

  Bob Dylan and Philosophy: It’s Alright Ma (I’m Only Thinking) (2006)

  VOLUME 18

  Harley-Da
vidson and Philosophy: Full-Throttle Aristotle (2006)

  VOLUME 19 Monty Python and Philosophy: Nudge Nudge, Think Think! (2006)

  VOLUME 23

  James Bond and Philosophy: Questions Are Forever (2006)

  VOLUME 24

  Bullshit and Philosophy: Guaranteed to Get Perfect Results Every Time (2006)

  VOLUME 25

  The Beatles and Philosophy: Nothing You Can Think that Can’t Be Thunk (2006)

  VOLUME 26

  South Park and Philosophy: Bigger, Longer, and More Penetrating (2007) Edited by Richard Hanley

  VOLUME 28

  The Grateful Dead and Philosophy: Getting High Minded about Love and Haight (2007) Edited by Steven Gimbel

  VOLUME 29

  Quentin Tarantino and Philosophy: How to Philosophize with a Pair of Pliers and a Blowtorch (2007) Edited by Richard Greene and K. Silem Mohammad

  VOLUME 30

  Pink Floyd and Philosophy: Careful with that Axiom, Eugene! (2007) Edited by George A. Reisch

  VOLUME 31

  Johnny Cash and Philosophy: The Burning Ring of Truth (2008) Edited by John Huss and David Werther

  VOLUME 32

  Bruce Springsteen and Philosophy: Darkness on the Edge of Truth (2008) Edited by Randall E. Auxier and Doug Anderson

  VOLUME 33

  Battlestar Galactica and Philosophy: Mission Accomplished or Mission Frakked Up? (2008) Edited by Josef Steiff and Tristan D. Tamplin

  VOLUME 34

  iPod and Philosophy: iCon of an ePoch (2008) Edited by D.E. Wittkower

  VOLUME 35

  Star Trek and Philosophy: The Wrath of Kant (2008) Edited by Jason T. Eberl and Kevin S. Decker

  VOLUME 36

  The Legend of Zelda and Philosophy: I Link Therefore I Am (2008) Edited by Luke Cuddy

  VOLUME 37

  The Wizard of Oz and Philosophy: Wicked Wisdom of the West (2008) Edited by Randall E. Auxier and Phillip S. Seng

  VOLUME 38

  Radiohead and Philosophy: Fitter Happier More Deductive (2009) Edited by Brandon W. Forbes and George A. Reisch

  VOLUME 39

  Jimmy Buffett and Philosophy: The Porpoise Driven Life (2009) Edited by Erin McKenna and Scott L. Pratt

  VOLUME 40

  Transformers and Philosophy (2009) Edited by John R. Shook and Liz Stillwaggon Swan

  VOLUME 41

  Stephen Colbert and Philosophy: I Am Philosophy (And So Can You!) (2009) Edited by Aaron Allen Schiller

  VOLUME 42

  Supervillains and Philosophy: Sometimes, Evil Is Its Own Reward (2009) Edited by Ben Dyer

  VOLUME 43

  The Golden Compass and Philosophy: God Bites the Dust (2009) Edited by Richard Greene and Rachel Robison

  VOLUME 44

  Led Zeppelin and Philosophy: All Will Be Revealed (2009) Edited by Scott Calef

  VOLUME 45

  World of Warcraft and Philosophy: Wrath of the Philosopher King (2009) Edited by Luke Cuddy and John Nordlinger

  Volume 46

  Mr. Monk and Philosophy: The Curious Case of the Defective Detective (2010) Edited by D.E. Wittkower

  Volume 47

  Anime and Philosophy: Wide Eyed Wonder (2010) Edited by Josef

  Steiff and Tristan Tamplin

  VOLUME 48

  The Red Sox and Philosophy: Green Monster Meditations (2010) Edited by Michael Macomber

  VOLUME 49

  Zombies, Vampires, and Philosophy: New Life for the Undead (2010) Edited by Richard Greene and K. Silem Mohammad

  VOLUME 50

  Facebook and Philosophy: What’s on Your Mind? (2010) Edited by D.E. Wittkower

  VOLUME 51

  Soccer and Philosophy (2010) Edited by Ted Richards

  IN PREPARATION:

  Manga and Philosophy (2010) Edited by Josef Steiff and Adam Barkman

  The Onion and Philosophy (2010) Edited by Sharon M. Kaye

  Martial Arts and Philosophy: Beating and Nothingness (2010) Edited by Graham Priest and Damon Young

  Doctor Who and Philosophy (2010) Edited by Paula J. Smithka and Court Lewis

  Dune and Philosophy (2011) Edited by Jeffrey Nicholas

  Dexter and Philosophy (2011) Edited by Richard Greene, George A. Reisch, and Rachel Robison

  Breaking Bad and Philosophy (2011) Edited by David R. Koepsell

  For full details of all Popular Culture and Philosophy® books, visit www.opencourtbooks.com.

  A New Lease of Life for the Undead

  The Undead have held a firm, icy grip on the public imagination since Bram Stoker first used the word in his novel Dracula over a hundred years ago. Stoker’s introduction of this term applied a catchy label to an idea that has always fascinated humans. But Stoker could hardly have conceived of the intensity of popular interest, both in his own vampires and in the very different zombies, which would be attained in the twenty-first century.

  Vampires and zombies are just everywhere. Don’t turn around—there’s probably one behind you right now. Only someone stuck in his coffin for quite a while could have missed the recent outpouring of vampire stories: the Twilight books and movies, Let the Right One In, HBO’s True Blood, and Thirty Days of Night, to mention just a few.

  Rachel Robison (Chapter 20) gives some pointers to the deathless appeal of vampires, and Joan Grassbaugh Forry (Chapter 19) disinters the vampire aesthetic. While popular culture has been preoccupied with vampires, the vampires themselves have been thinking about popular culture, and the ways they are depicted within it. And so, this volume climaxes with truly amazing revelations from the private correspondence of two vampires, as documented by Randall Auxier and Eileen Townsend (Chapter 21).

  At the same time, we’re in the midst of a full-fledged zombie invasion. Just as with vampires, so with zombies: zombie movies, books, comic books, and videogames are everywhere.

  Like all living things, vampires and zombies continually evolve. Today’s vampires are as different to the Buffyverse’s Spike or Angel as those remarkable characters were to Count Dracula. In the case of zombies, traditional horror narratives survive and proliferate. There’s still a big market for movies in the mold of Night of the Living Dead, in which a group of people fight for their lives against a zombie attack.

  As for zombie comedy, there are straight parodies like Return of the Living Dead, with the same structure as the movies they lampoon, but played for laughs. However, comedies such as Zombieland and Fido are not restricted to poking fun at horror films; instead, they incorporate elements of the zombie mythos as a backdrop to different kinds of stories entirely. Zombieland is at base a comedic road movie about friendship, family structures, and trust. The zombies are every bit as grisly and lethal as the ones in films like Dawn of the Dead or 28 Days Later, but they take up surprisingly little screen time, and their presence is a kind of “given”: they’re a plot mechanism to launch us into the character-driven central story. Fido is a satiric suburban pastoral in which the zombie character takes on the status of a beloved household pet. (And don’t forget the ending of Shaun of the Dead.)

  We’ve gone from I Walked with a Zombie to “Honey, could you take the zombie for a walk?” Movies such as these trade on our love for zombies, but the zombies in the stories are not essential to the plot qua zombies. Seemingly, it’s the mere fact that these films have zombies in them that makes them appealing. Zombieland would not have been nearly as successful had it been Bearland or even Dinosaurland.

  The same goes for zombie books. Case in point: the remarkable success and impact of Pride and Prejudice and Zombies. You take an early-nineteenth-century novel, infuse it with a zombie narrative and back story, and suddenly everybody wants to read it: both those who were already Austen fans, and those who wouldn’t ordinarily touch classic literature with a ten-foot pole.

  There’s also been a slew of zombie-based faux-academic, technical, and spiritual books. Zombie parodies of academic books are coming out of the woodwork, undoubtedly influenced by Max Brooks’s The Zombi
e Survival Guide and its cottage industry of zombie survival products. There are zombie self-help books (The Zen of Zombie: Better Living Through the Undead), zombie history books (History Is Dead), books on zombie forensics (Zombie CSU), even books of zombie poetry (Zombie Haiku). The list goes on and on.

  Then there are non-media-based zombie phenomena, such as the game Humans Versus Zombies and the social practice of zombie walks. Humans Versus Zombies is essentially an elaborate game of tag, lasting a week or two, that is played each year on college campuses around the United States. Some players are humans, and some are zombies. The game is over when all the humans have been converted to zombies or all the zombies have starved to death. It’s a testament to our love of zombies that college students are willing to devote that much energy to playing tag. (Again, if it were called “Humans Versus Bears,” the game likely would not have caught on.)

  Zombie walks are organized activities in which persons dress up like zombies and walk—or lumber—around town. These walks often involve several thousand people. What’s the point, you ask? Basically, it’s just fun to walk around looking like a zombie. Our obsession with zombies drives us so far as to spend time acting like them just for the hell of it.

  Why are we so obsessed? This is a question that some of our authors attempt to answer in regard to traditional horror films and stories. Noel Carroll (in Chapter 18) argues that taking an up-close look at that which we fear (including the Undead) offers us a satisfying sense of control or mastery over our fears. Richard Greene (in Chapter 2) points out that horror films provide a kind of rush, an adrenaline-producing experience in an otherwise safe environment. These explanations, however, don’t tell us why the public loves fake zombie textbooks, or why Zombieland is so much more successful than Bearland would be, or why Pride and Prejudice and Zombies goes over better than Pride and Prejudice. There’s something about zombies per se that uniquely excites the contemporary imagination. It seems that these Undead creatures answer to some deeply-felt collective cultural fantasy on a visceral level (no pun intended).