Nice Day for a Picnic Read online

  George! What did I say about the slide? Get down off there!

  See, a whole bit’s broken off. What if that had happened when you were on there? No, sweetie, don’t cry, it’s all right. It’s not your fault. I don’t think the slide is working. Maybe they didn’t finish it, or something.

  You think it’s the old one? Why’s that?

  Oh, did naughty Kyle write a rude word on it? Where?

  Well, so he did.

  I’ll tell you what it means when you’re older.

  Yes, it’s the old slide. It just looks different from last year, that’s all.

  I don’t know where Kyle’s gone. Yes, well, you don’t want to play with a naughty boy who writes nasty words on things, do you?

  No, I don’t know where Andrew or Prisha or Ibrahim or Layla have gone either. I think their mummies and daddies took them away on holiday.

  Yes, you saw Seiko, that’s right. When we had to stay in the house for a really long time and just look out of the windows. Yes, I remember.

  No, she wasn’t very well.

  I think probably Seiko is in the hospital now, so the doctors and nurses can make her better.

  Yes, maybe we can go see her, but not yet. Later.

  No, I know it’s not fair that everyone’s gone on holiday except us, sweetie. I know. Some day we’ll go somewhere nice again, I promise. And there’ll be children for you to play with.

  Do you want to try the swings?

  No, I’m not going to swing, I’m just going to stay here and hold onto this bit while you swing, in case it’s not working very well, like the slide. That’s all right. Swings aren’t really for Mummies anyway.

  Whee! Aren’t you going high! Whee! Good boy!

  What can you see from up there?

  Can you see anything moving? Any people, or….anything?

  Yes, you can stand on the seat if you like, just make sure you hold on.

  There’s a good boy.

  You can’t see anything? How about some smoke?

  No?

  Never mind.

  There, enough?

  Do you want to go and see if there are any ducks?

  Now you haven’t brought any of the food, have you? No. That’s right. Because food is just for Mummy and George, now, I’m afraid. I’m sure the ducks can manage. They managed before there were people to feed them, after all.

  Yes, the pond looks a bit different too. At least that horrid old shopping trolley is gone. It’s a bit whiffy, though, isn’t it?

  Yes, that’s true, lots of things are smelly.

  That’s not a nice thing to say about Mrs Weaver. I know she’s not here and can’t hear you, but it’s still not polite, even if it’s true. Sometimes we don’t have to say things just because they’re true, George. Sometimes truth isn’t what’s needed.

  It just isn’t.

  Yes, poo is smelly. And we don’t talk about poo, please. I don’t know why children are so endlessly fascinated by poo! Your sister was…

  No, George, we don’t need a list of all the other smelly things either.

  No.

  Can you see any ducks?

  No, you can’t go look in the rushes, George. If they wanted to come out, they would. Besides, you don’t want to get all muddy, do you?

  What’s that? Oh, I see. Yes, it’s a funny man. I think he’s gone for a swim with his clothes on. No, I don’t think he needs any help. I think he’s been swimming for a while, he’s probably quite good at it by now. See, he doesn’t even need to move.

  No, don’t poke him with a stick, George, I think he wants to be left alone.

  I don’t think there are any ducks today. Maybe they’re scared of the swimming man.

  Never mind.

  Let’s go and have our picnic, shall we?

  We’ve got some lovely salad. Gosh, what a good thing we had those seeds, isn’t it, eh? Yes, George, you do have to eat all of it. You know that.

  Is there a bug? Let’s have a look. Oh, it’s only a caterpillar. Yes, you can eat that sort. It’s all protein.

  No, no boiled eggs today. Sorry, sweetie. I know you like them. It’s a bit early for eggs. But we can still go shopping on the way home.

  Yes, I know, I’d like to go to the big shop, too, but the big shop’s closed at the moment. Yes. For the holidays.

  Yes, I remember what it was like. Well, I’m not sure they had forty ginchillion types of cereal…ginchillion! That’s a lot! But they did have a lot of nice things, didn’t they? Mummy would really like some coffee. Really really. Yes, a ginchillion really’s. A double ginchillion.

  Yes, and oven chips. You and your oven chips, you’d live on nothing else, I know you. But we couldn’t have oven chips could we, now the oven doesn’t work any more?

  Yes, Seiko’s daddy mended ovens, I remember. No, I don’t think he does it any more. Besides, he’s probably on holiday too.

  Oh, no, not without Seiko. He’s probably visiting her in hospital. I forgot.

  No, sweetie, of course I won’t forget to visit you in hospital. But you’re not going to hospital, are you? You’re not ill. You don’t feel ill, do you, sweetie?

  Promise Mummy? Let me feel your forehead.

  Good boy.

  I know, let’s try Spring Road on the way home. It’s a bit further, but I don’t think we’ve looked there yet. And the walk will do us good. And we can practice our running, can’t we? Just in case.

  Oh, is that where Prisha…lives? Well, I’m sure her Mummy and Daddy wouldn’t mind.

  Yes, maybe they’ll be home. Eat your salad, sweetie.

  No, there’s no tuna. All the tuna is gone. Well, maybe there’s some in the sea, but we can’t get there at the moment. Never mind. Salad is ever so good for you.

  And when we’re all finished, we’ll pack up our lovely picnic, and we’ll have a nice walk home in the sun, and on the way, we’ll see if any of the people in Spring Road had a cellar or anything we haven’t found yet. Maybe there’ll even be some tuna hidden away, eh? Maybe even some coffee for Mummy. That would be an extra nice thing to find.

  And now there’s a special treat. Cold meat.

  That’s right. Yum yum, eh George? And there’s even a pickle to go with it, for an extra extra special treat.

  No, Mummy isn’t having any meat today. Mummy’s just going to have a pickle.

  Yes, I’m sure your sister would like some, but your sister…your sister isn’t here.

  Shhh, now.

  You just eat up.

  There’s a good boy.

  about the editors

  Brian Marshall is a life-long enthusiast of science-fiction, fantasy and horror writing, and has been active on the scene for a number of years as one of the infamous 'redshirts', helping to run events including Edge-Lit, FantasyCon and the World Horror Convention. Nice Day for a Picnic is his second foray into editing, with his previous title being We Can Improve You (co-edited by Alex Davis) from Boo Books.

  Alex Davis is an author, editor, tutor and events organiser based in Derby. His previous titles as editor include Breaking the Rules, After the Fall, Haunted (co-edited with Ryan Merrifield) and We Can Improve You (co-edited with Brian Marshall) for Boo Books, No Monsters Allowed for Doghorn Publishing and X7, Worms, Strange Fortune and Reality Bites for Knightwatch Press. Upcoming projects include the Space: Houston We Have a Problem anthology for Tickety Boo Press, and not forgetting his debut novel, The Last War, out in July also from Tickety Boo. For more visit his website www.alexblogsabout.com.

  about the authors

  Richard Farren Barber was born in Nottingham in July 1970. After studying in London he returned to the East Midlands. He lives with his wife and son and works as a Registry Manager for a local university.

  He has written over 200 short stories and has had short stories published in Alt-Dead, Alt-Zombie, ePocalypse – Tales from the End, Horror D’Oeuvres, Murky Depths, Midnight Echo, Midnight Street, Morpheus Tales, Night Terrors II, Siblings, The House of Horror, Tre
mbles, When Red Snow Melts, and broadcast on The Wicked Library, Tales to Terrify and Pseudopod.

  Richard’s novella The Power of Nothing was published by Damnation Books in 2013 and his next novella, The Sleeping Dead was published in 2014 by DarkFuse.

  His website can be found at www.richardfarrenbarber.co.uk.

  Amelia Mangan is a writer originally from London, currently living in Sydney, Australia. She is the author of a novel, Release (Nightscape Press, 2015), and her stories have been featured in many anthologies, including Drag Noir (ed. K.T. Laity), Attic Toys (ed. Jeremy C. Shipp), and The Grimorium Verum (ed. Dean M. Drinkel). Her story, “Blue Highway,” won Yen Magazine's first annual short story competition in 2013 and was featured in its 65th issue. She can be found on Twitter (@AmeliaMangan) and Facebook (facebook.com/amelia.mangan).

  Gaie Sebold was born rather longer ago than seems reasonable. She has written several novels, a number of short stories, and has been known to perform poetry. Her debut novel introduced brothel-owning ex-avatar of sex and war, Babylon Steel (Solaris, 2012); the sequel, Dangerous Gifts, came out in 2013. Shanghai Sparrow, a steampunk fantasy, came out in 2014 and the sequel, Sparrow Falling, is due in 2016. Her jobs have ranged from till-extension to bottle-washer and theatre-tour-manager to charity administrator. She lives with writer David Gullen and a paranoid cat in the depths of suburbia, runs writing workshops, grows vegetables, and argues with the characters in her head.

  Her website is www.gaiesebold.com and you can find her on twitter @GaieSebold.

  Joining Games Workshop at the age of nineteen, Gav Thorpe was a staff writer and games developer on the Warhammer and Warhammer 40,000 universe for fourteen years, and has also written novels for the same for the past fifteen years and more. His most popular works include The Sundering trilogy, The Path of the Eldar, works from the Horus Heresy series including Deliverance Lost, the audio dramas Raven’s Flight and Honour to the Dead, and the New York times best-selling novella The Lion. He is also published by Angry Robot books where you can find his epic swords-and-sandals fantasy saga gathered in the omnibus collection entitled Empire of the Blood. Gav has also worked on, and is currently working on, numerous tabletop and video games, including as a designer, writer and world creation consultant. He lives near Nottingham with his partner Kez and baby boy Sammy.

  Freda Warrington grew up in Leicestershire and spent some years in graphic design before becoming a full-time writer. She is the author of twenty-one fantasy novels, including the award-winning Elfland. Her alternative history of King Richard III, The Court of the Midnight King has just been reissued on Kindle, Audible, and in paperback. Titan Books are reissuing A Taste of Blood Wine and its sequels - a gothic yet sensual take on vampires, set in the 1920s - including a brand-new novel, The Dark Arts of Blood. More info is available on her website at www.fredawarrington.com.