Seeking Sarah Read online

  “Trent is so mad at me, but I can’t focus on a wedding,” I told my grandmother. “I need to find Mama.”

  “That’s understandable.” She stood. “And that just means you need to deal with it. Get on that Internet thang y’all do. I saw on The Ellen DeGeneres Show the other day somebody found their long-lost mama on that Internet.”

  I actually had done some searching last night, but there were so many websites. I didn’t know where to go or what to trust.

  “Go to The Ellen DeGeneres Show website. Look on there and see who they use,” my grandmother insisted. “It’s a start.”

  “Do you think I’m going to ever find her?” I asked.

  “I don’t think you’ll ever know unless you try. The question you need to be asking is what are you going to do once you do find her?” My grandmother squeezed my arm before leaving me to simmer in her words.

  CHAPTER 9

  * * *

  The sight of my fiancé standing at my door with a tiny shih tzu in his hand should have made me smile. Instead all I said was, “A dog? Really, Trent?”

  Trent held the dog up to his face and made a puppy dog expression. “I named her Penelope. I figured you needed something to cheer you up.” He extended Penelope toward me. I took the white fluffy animal and she immediately nuzzled into my chest. A dog was the last thing I needed.

  “See, she likes you.” Trent grinned.

  I smiled against my will. “A dog, Trent?” I repeated, handing the dog back to him.

  He patted the dog on the head, but didn’t take her. “I know you’ve been feeling down,” he said, walking into my apartment, “and I just wanted to do something to cheer you up. I hate how you shut me out, but I understand everyone grieves in their own way.”

  I closed the door with my free hand as Penelope let out a bark. I had been talking about getting a dog for a long time. Both Trent and I really loved pets. And I’d had a beloved Pomeranian, Diamond, who had died last year. I’d just never been able to bring myself to get a replacement. Eventually, I wouldn’t have minded getting a dog, but now was definitely not the time. All of my focus needed to be on finding my mother.

  “So,” Trent said from the kitchen, “I’m glad you let me come over. I was really worried about you.”

  He walked back into the living room, a bottled water in his hand.

  “I’m good.” I set Penelope down and she instantly peed right in the middle of my hardwood floor. I cut my eyes at Trent. “Really?”

  He shrugged. “Hey. I didn’t say she was house trained.”

  We both stood staring at the wet spot. I know he didn’t expect me to clean it up.

  Trent groaned, then grabbed a paper towel to deal with the mess. Penelope darted off to explore her new surroundings.

  “I got you a bunch of doggie stuff to go with her. I left it in the car. I’ll bring it before I leave.” He leaned down, cleaned her mess up, then walked back in the kitchen to put the paper towel in the trash. I heard the water running as he washed his hands. When he returned to the living room, he sat down next to me on the sofa. “So, for real, how are you, babe?”

  “Making it.” I snuggled into his embrace. “It’s gonna be a minute before my heart is right again because you know how close Daddy and I were.”

  He stroked my hair. “I know.”

  “But, umm, I have something else I need to talk to you about,” I began.

  “Me, too,” he said.

  “You go first,” I told him, jumping on any excuse to delay news about my mother, which would be followed by a bunch of questions that I wouldn’t have the answers to.

  “Well”—he sat up, excitement all over his face—“I need you to keep an open mind and to hear me out before you say no.” My eyes locked with his as he continued: “Your father is gone now and your job is flexible so there is nothing keeping you tied here.”

  “Trent.” I raised an eyebrow in anticipation of where this conversation was going.

  “No, like I said, hear me out,” he continued. “This opportunity to reenlist is huge.”

  “I don’t want to move around from base to base.”

  “That’s the great thing,” he said. “I don’t have to. I can be based in Norfolk and I’d be in line to be commander of a vessel. Norfolk would be a great place to live, right?”

  “Norfolk? A vessel? I . . . my grandmother.” I didn’t know what to say that wouldn’t lead to a fight.

  “April is here and she’ll keep an eye on your grandmother.” He fired off rapid responses like he was ready for my protests. “And we’re only four hours away. The worst-case scenario, we’d bring your grandmother with us.”

  “I don’t think so,” I said. “If you reenlist, that means at the first sign of trouble, you’re gone and I’m left worrying that each call will be someone telling me that you died.”

  “I could also die walking to the store,” he replied. “We can’t live our lives in fear.”

  Trent let out a heavy sigh. He knew all about Jared, so I didn’t get why he couldn’t understand my fear.

  Trent took my hand. “I seriously want you to consider it. This is an amazing opportunity. I can go in on captain status.”

  A mist covered my eyes and I leaned my head back. I couldn’t deal with this right now.

  “I’m not moving to Norfolk, Trent,” I said.

  He dropped my hand. “Why do you always have to be difficult?”

  “Because I’m not one of your recruits,” I replied, folding my arms in defiance. “I don’t follow your orders.”

  He let out a long sigh, then ran his hands over his head. “Babe, I don’t want to fight with you. Just think about it, okay?”

  I nodded, my resolve weakening. Anything to end that conversation.

  “One other thing,” he continued, “and then I’ll let you tell me what you wanted to say. I know you didn’t really want a big wedding and I’m not saying we need to have some giant wedding like you told me April had, but my mom is just really not feeling the idea of eloping.”

  “Trent.” I sighed.

  “That’s just something else I want you to consider. We can do something small. You said yourself we don’t have money for a giant wedding. But we’ve been saving and we have enough to do something intimate.”

  “Okay,” I said. I hadn’t even thought about what type of ceremony I wanted. “We can talk about it some more later.”

  That seemed to satisfy him because he kicked back and put his feet up on my coffee table. I popped his knee and he immediately dropped them.

  “Sorry, babe. So what did you need to talk to me about?”

  I took a deep breath and turned to him. “You remember in the hospital when my dad kept apologizing?”

  “Yeah. Did you find out what that was about? Had he been sick and kept it from you?”

  I shook my head. “I wish it were that simple. My grandmother told me he was apologizing for lying to me.”

  “Mr. Hayes? A liar? Nah,” Trent said.

  “Yeah,” I replied, “and this is one doozy of a lie.” Now I had his undivided attention. “Trent, um, he told me that”—I took a deep breath, because this was still difficult to say—“my mother is alive.”

  “What?” Trent said, his brow furrowing in confusion.

  “She isn’t dead.” Every time I uttered those words it was like I was transported to an alternate universe. My mother had been alive all this time, every time I’d cried for her, during my first date, my prom, going away to college. She didn’t have to miss those things. She chose to miss those things.

  “But, I thought you said she died when you were six or seven.”

  “That’s what they told me,” I replied. “We had a funeral and everything. But she didn’t die. She ran off.”

  “Ran off? Who does that? I mean, I heard of men doing it but never a woman.”

  “Yeah, you and me both. My mother decided she didn’t want to be a mother and just up and left.”

  “Wow.” Tren
t fell back against the sofa, absolutely stunned. “Yeah, that’s the last thing I ever expected you to say.”

  “So now I’m trying to figure out what to do.”

  He looked confused again. “Figure out what? She ran off. She obviously didn’t want to have anything to do with you. I mean,” he quickly corrected himself, “I wasn’t trying to say it like that, but why would you want to get to know someone that didn’t want you?”

  “Because she is my mother. I don’t know anything about her. I don’t know if she’s dead or alive since this last picture my grandmother showed me from two years ago. I don’t know if she lives here or in Australia or in South America. I need to find out why she left. There has to be a reason. I don’t know anything. And I want to know. Maybe she’s been looking for me. Maybe we can have a relationship.”

  He sat in stunned silence before saying, “So, what does that mean?”

  “It means I need to find my mother and I won’t be able to get any peace until I do.”

  I was extremely disappointed by the look on Trent’s face. I knew that he liked to control things and got all flustered when things weren’t “proper and in order,” but I couldn’t believe I didn’t have his unwavering support on this. For the first time since I’d met him, I didn’t feel support. And that gave me an ominous feeling inside.

  CHAPTER 10

  * * *

  It was amazing how far a little forgiveness could go. A year ago, I would’ve never thought I would be sitting across from my friend Symone ever again. Symone had been part of me and April’s crew since high school, but she and I always clashed. April said it was because we were so much alike. Usually we squabbled, then got over it. But last year her boyfriend, Danny, had flirted with me, and Symone got mad at me, despite the fact that I didn’t flirt back. Of course, I told her about her insecure self and the end result had been the two of us going our separate ways.

  Now, sitting across from her at the restaurant, I was glad that April insisted we meet for lunch. After April got over her initial shock of my mother being alive, she immediately went into action to try to find her and she’d suggested Symone after only a few minutes of thinking.

  We’d spent the first hour catching up, and now it was as if we’d never fallen out.

  I only agreed to meet with Symone because it had been two weeks since I found out about my mother and I was no closer to finding her than before I knew she was alive. I’d visited every missing-persons website out there, signed up for countless “trials” to gain access to information (I needed to remember to cancel those). And still, nothing. Since Sarah was one of the most common names in the universe, finding her was near impossible.

  April was confident that Symone could help me find my mother. And if there was one thing I knew about my former friend, it was, if there was a will for Symone Wiley, there was a way.

  “So, now that we’ve caught up on everything, let’s talk about what’s really going on in your life,” she said. “April filled me in on everything. I’m so sorry.” She leaned back, crossing her long, sultry legs. “That has just got to feel awful.”

  April shot her a look out the side of her eye like she had warned her not to go overboard.

  “Yeah, it doesn’t feel good,” I said, managing a smile. “You know, I’m just trying to find her. April said you might know someone who can help.”

  “What are you going to do once you find her?” Symone asked what it seemed everyone had been asking.

  “I don’t know. Get some answers?” I shrugged. “I just need to know if you can help. I mean I don’t know how, but if you can . . .”

  “Girl, I should have been a private investigator in my other life. Did April tell you about Paul?”

  I looked at my cousin, confused.

  April shook her head. “No, I don’t tell people’s business.” She smiled at Symone. “You could learn something from that philosophy.”

  Symone waved her comment off. “Brooke is like family. You could have told her. Let me tell you about that cheating, no-good, low-down dirty dog that calls himself my fiancé.”

  She leaned forward and I couldn’t help but wonder how this had suddenly become about her, but I let her continue.

  “So, I had a feeling in my gut that Paul was up to no good and if it’s one thing I try to tell folks, trust your gut. A woman’s gut does not lie. So, I just laid low because I know what’s done in the dark will come to light. Well, one too many lies didn’t add up. Paul was trying to tell me two plus two equals five and I just nodded and was like, ‘Okay, you must think I’m one of those ditzy chicks that used to run after you in college.’ Well, last weekend I got him good and drunk. Like sloppy, passed-out drunk.”

  “So, what? You expected him to confess?” I asked, figuring the sooner we could finish her story, the sooner we could get back to my issue.

  “Girl, please. No. Because then, of course, when he woke up the next morning he would have sworn he didn’t know what I was talking about. So I got him drunk and then when he was out, I got his phone, I took his thumb and put it on the phone so that the thumbprint could unlock his screen.”

  “Wow,” I said, fascinated. “I would have never even thought of that.”

  “No one should have to do all that,” April said, shaking her head.

  “Hmph.” Symone laughed. “You don’t have to do all that because you got the last good man on earth. Well, next to Trent, that is.” She smiled at me. Symone was always telling me how lucky I was. She went to church with Trent and she said every single woman in the sanctuary wanted him since he was sixteen years old.

  “Anyway, as I was saying,” she continued. “I started going through his phone and what do I see? Lo and behold, some chick he works with. She was sending him butt-naked pictures on Facebook.”

  “What? Paul?”

  “Yes, Paul, the man I was supposed to marry next year.”

  “Maybe she didn’t know he was in a relationship,” I said.

  “Hmph, oh she knew all right, because not only did I meet her at the Christmas party last year, but she wanted to make sure I didn’t ‘have access to his account.’ And he told her that I didn’t even know about the account. That was mistake number one, because I did know. I was just waiting for the right moment to let him know I knew. Mistake number two, he was so confident I could never get in his phone, he just stays logged in to Facebook. So I was able to see all the pictures and I downloaded each and every one of them.”

  “Wow, and did what with them?” I asked. Symone had momentarily allowed me to take my mind off my troubles. I was truly engrossed in her story now.

  “You’re not going to believe this part,” April said, leaning back and letting Symone finish the story. “It’s all just too much. The girl needs her own reality show.”

  “I wish you knew how to make it happen,” Symone quipped. “Anyway, so I downloaded the pictures, sent them to myself, then I created a new Facebook page for Skeezer-Ho, that’s what I named it, Latricia Skeezer-Ho Martin. And I used the naked pictures as her profile pic and all the photos in her album and then I tagged everybody she knew, along with a post detailing her cheating escapades with my fiancé.”

  “What?” I asked in disbelief.

  “Yep. Of course, Facebook ended up taking the page down, but not before her friends and coworkers got an eyeful. Oh, and I made ‘Beware of Lost Dog’ flyers and distributed them at her and Paul’s job.”

  “Wow, that’s gangster.” I smiled.

  “Just call me Nino Brown,” Symone said, taking a sip of her drink.

  “I would never have the guts to do something like that,” I said.

  “Well, I’ll bet the two them will think twice before they mess over the next chick. Sometimes it takes a little payback to make people realize that you don’t play.”

  We laughed some more, which felt really good to be able to do. Still, I really did want to get back on how to find my mother.

  “Okay, so back to business,” I said. �
��Can your investigative skills help me figure out how to find my mom?”

  “Well, I’m sure you’ve done all the basics,” she said, “like, you know, all the online stuff.”

  “It’s just so much out there that I don’t know what to try. I have been looking online but it’s turning up nothing. I don’t even know what part of the world she’s in. She was in New York, but that was at least twenty years ago. I found her Social Security number on an old document. But the last two numbers are worn off so that doesn’t even do me any good.”

  “Well, my cousin is a private eye. I think that PI is in our genes. Do you want me to hook you up with him?”

  “Oh, my God. That’s exactly what I need,” I replied, then quickly thought about the cost. “But I can’t afford a private eye.” My father had been retired for ten years, so he’d been living on a fixed income. He’d had enough to bury himself, but it wasn’t like he’d left me much money. And my grandmother lived in the house, so it’s not like I could have sold that, not that I would have anyway. I made a decent living, but not enough to pay a private investigator.

  “I’ll get him to cut you a deal. He doesn’t work for free, but he’ll work with you.” Symone pulled out her phone and tapped the screen. “If your mother is anywhere in North America, Clint will be able to find her.”

  I leaned back and took a deep breath. Could it be? Was I really on the way to finding out more about my mother?

  “Hey, cousin,” she said. “It’s Symone. Look, I got somebody that I need you to help out. No, it’s not me”—she covered the phone’s mouthpiece—“he’s talking about he doesn’t want to go following Paul again.” She returned to the call. “No, it’s Brooke, the one I went to school with . . . Yeah, well, we made up. And she needs some help finding her mother. I don’t know all the details. I’m going to give her your number so you guys can hook up. You think you can help her? . . . Cool. I’ll pass your info on to her.”