Let the Church Say Amen Read online

  Rachel heard her father asking for prayer for the five new members. Finally. She almost fell off her pew when Simon said, “Before we go, Sister Hicks would like to share a testimony with us this afternoon.”

  Rachel couldn’t help it. She let out a loud, obnoxious cough, one that caused several people to shoot her chastising looks.

  “I don’t believe this,” Rachel muttered, ignoring the stares. Why they continued to let this woman testify was beyond her. Sister Hicks had a testimony every week.

  “First, giving honor to God, Pastor Jackson, First Lady, family and friends,” Sister Hicks began.

  Rachel could no longer contain her irritation. She didn’t care that anyone could see her huffing and puffing. This was unbelievable.

  “I’m here today to tell you God is an awesome God!”

  “We know that, you told us last week,” Rachel mumbled. The little boy sitting next to Rachel laughed. His mother didn’t think it was so funny. She shot them both wicked looks.

  Sister Hicks kept talking, tears welling up in her eyes. “Them doctors told me this cancer was goin’ eat me alive. They gave me six months to live.”

  “Cancer? Is that all? Last week it was hypertension. The week before that glaucoma. Next week, it’ll probably be her big toe,” Rachel said to no one in particular.

  “Well, my six months was up yesterday and devil be gone! I’m still here!! And feeling better than ever!” Sister Hicks proclaimed.

  “Well whoopty, freaking doo.” Rachel was on a roll now. By this time, the little boy was cracking up at Rachel’s comments. His mother popped him on the leg and leaned toward Rachel, her big-brimmed hat poking the little boy in the face.

  “Rachel, Reverend Jackson would not be pleased. You need to have some respect and consideration.” The woman turned her nose up in disgust, leaned back in the pew, then turned her attention back to the front.

  Rachel just glared at the woman. She wanted to flash her middle finger and tell her to consider that. But even though her father considered her a heathen, she didn’t want to go that far in the house of the Lord.

  The organist had started back up and Sister Hicks was dancing around and shouting. The sight actually made Rachel laugh. Sister Hicks had to be pushing ninety.

  The entire congregation stood up and was clapping and shouting along with Sister Hicks. Rachel stopped laughing long enough to make a run for it.

  She eased past the little boy and his mother, making sure to step on the woman’s toe. The woman yelped. Rachel faked a “sorry” look and continued on out of the pew. Her father would just have to be mad.

  As Rachel got to the door, she heard her name.

  “You’re leaving now, Rachel?”

  It was Lester’s voice. Rachel debated whether to pretend she didn’t hear him and keep going, but she had already stopped.

  “Hello, Lester,” she said, turning around. “Yes, I’m leaving. I don’t feel too well.”

  “Oh, I’m sorry to hear that. Is there anything I can do?”

  Rachel stared at the young man who had been pursuing her since she was thirteen years old. He was one of the nicest people she had ever met in her life, but that was about the only good trait God gave him. He had to be nice because he was too dang ugly. “No, Lester. I’m just going to go lie down.”

  “Okay, but umm, Rachel, have you given any thought to my dinner invitation? I sure would be honored to take you and the kids out to eat. We can go wherever you’d like.”

  She knew he really wanted her to say yes, but Rachel just couldn’t bring herself to do it. Lester was twenty-two years old and still had acne like he was fifteen. The bad part was he was light-skinned, the color of warm butter, and his pimples were bright red. His hair was both straight and nappy, like it started out wanting to be “good hair,” but then changed its mind. And on top of that it was red!

  Lester worked at State Farm Insurance Company, so he had a good job with benefits, but Rachel could find no benefits in going out with him. She couldn’t just flat out trash him though, because he’d helped her pay her rent one time. And there was no telling when she would need him again.

  “Oh yeah, dinner,” Rachel responded. “Well, you know, me and Bobby, we …”

  “I talked to Bobby.” Lester cut her off. “I hope you don’t mind. I asked him what his intentions were with you.”

  Rachel cocked her head. “You did what?”

  “Rachel, don’t be mad. I just wanted to make sure I didn’t step on his toes.”

  “How dare you talk to Bobby about me?” Rachel hissed. She didn’t even know Lester knew Bobby like that.

  “Rachel, please. I just can’t stand the way he treats you. I saw him at the barbershop and overheard him talking very disrespectfully about you and couldn’t stand it, so I said something.”

  Rachel stood with her hands on her hips. Leave it to Lester to come to her defense, despite the way she treated him. She almost smiled at the thought, but realized she had an excuse now to get rid of him. “Lester, I don’t appreciate you talking to my boyfriend.”

  “Your ex-boyfriend,” Lester responded.

  “Whatever. Just don’t ever talk to Bobby again. I’m going home! Good-bye!” Rachel turned and dramatically threw open the foyer doors, wanting Lester to think she was madder than she actually was. However, she was more concerned with Bobby bad-mouthing her. That was going to have to stop. But just how she’d make that happen, she didn’t quite know.

  10

  THE CHURCH MEMBERS were filing out at their usual, slow pace. David sat on the stoop at the corner store across the street. He watched his father meet and greet members. Of course, Loretta was poised by his side. And Jonathan was positioned firmly right next to her. The prodigal son. David laughed as he imagined how proud his father must be to have Jonathan standing there with him, greeting the good folks of Zion Hill.

  David had seen Rachel high-tail it out of there before the service was even completely over. He thought about calling out to her, but she was moving so fast he didn’t have time to get near her.

  David took a long drag on his cigarette, letting the smoke sit in his mouth before exhaling. Everyone who came out was hugging Jonathan, patting him on the back. No doubt, David imagined, telling him what a great son he was.

  David couldn’t help but be bitter at his brother’s status in their family. Everyone from relatives to members of the church were always talking about how “great” Jonathan was. How Loretta and Simon should be so “proud.” Then they’d look at David with disdain, shaking their heads, lamenting that they didn’t know where Loretta and Simon “had gone wrong” as far as he was concerned.

  Their disdain he could deal with. It’s the hurt he saw in his father’s eyes every time Simon looked at him, that cut to the core of his heart. No one understood just how much he needed, how much he wanted, his father’s acceptance. Sure Loretta tried to make up where Simon fell short. And David loved her dearly for trying, but there was nothing like having his father’s love. And it had been a long time since David felt any semblance of love from his father.

  “Ohhh, baby, we hit pay dirt!” David glanced up at Tawny standing over him. She was dancing around excitedly. “That woman in there didn’t even notice me bump into her.” Tawny held up a black wallet. “And I moved so fast, she definitely didn’t feel me take this. And look, baby.” Tawny opened the wallet and pulled out two one-hundred-dollar bills. “Ol’ girl was loaded! You were so right about them church folks carrying cash.”

  Tawny was so excited, but David wasn’t sharing in her enthusiasm. It had been his idea to hit the soul food restaurant down the street from Zion Hill. He knew that several members went there after church for dinner. The place was usually packed and David thought Tawny, an experienced pickpocket, could easily score them some money.

  “I can’t believe we ain’t come here before this!” Tawny proclaimed.

  David just grunted and turned his attention back to his family, who was saying good-b
ye to the last of the church members.

  “What’s up? Why you look so down? We got two hundred dollars. We can get real high tonight,” Tawny said, seductively rubbing the money across David’s face.

  David didn’t know what it was but he no longer had any interest in getting high. He had no interest in anything. He just wanted to be by himself.

  He stood up, tossed his cigarette down, and started walking toward the church.

  “Where are you going?” Tawny yelled.

  David thought about just ignoring her. But Tawny wasn’t one to be ignored. She would follow him and act a fool and that was the last thing David wanted.

  “Look, baby,” he said, turning to Tawny. “I got some business I need to handle. Why don’t you go take the money and buy yourself something nice and I’ll meet you back at the apartment.”

  “I had planned on buying something nice, something real nice,” she said, waving the money.

  “No. No rocks, okay?” David was getting flustered. He didn’t realize the affect sitting there watching his family would have on him. He really was getting tired of his life, but every time he tried to move one step forward, Tawny pulled him two steps back.

  “What? You don’t want to get high?”

  David realized it would be useless to try and reason with her. Tawny was a bona fide addict and she wasn’t trying to hear anything about giving it up.

  “Naw, baby. It’s just, my brother is back in town. And, I think, maybe I can hit him up for even more money.” David would say anything to get Tawny to leave.

  The thought of even more money brightened Tawny’s expression. “Damn, that would be right on time,” Tawny exclaimed.

  “Okay, so you go on and I’ll catch up with you this evening.”

  Tawny smiled, then reached over and hugged David, sticking her tongue in his ear. Any other time, that would’ve seriously turned him on. But right now, it only repulsed him.

  “Later, baby. Don’t be too long, okay. I don’t want to have to smoke up all the stuff on my own,” Tawny said.

  She giggled and walked off. David imagined that at one time, Tawny was probably very pretty. She had turned to drugs after dating a drug dealer named Raymond. Raymond almost killed her once he discovered she was sneaking his stash. But by that point, she was well beyond hooked.

  David and Tawny had hooked up after he noticed her picking someone’s pocket at the bus stop. He had just started using heroin every now and then to escape the pain in his life—the disappointment from losing his football career before it even really got started. Once he got with Tawny, heroin was upgraded, or downgraded rather, to crack cocaine. And his usage had gone from every-now-and-then to almost daily. The worst he had ever sunk was when he went to his father’s church with the sole purpose of getting money off the collection plate. His father had banned him from the church after that. And he hadn’t set foot in Zion Hill since.

  But today, something had come over him. David didn’t know if it was seeing his brother, or just seeing the family being a family. Either way, he longed to be a part of that again.

  He made his way to the steps of the church just as the last person was filing out. Loretta spotted him first.

  “David!” She called out, extending her arms to embrace him.

  David reached in and hugged his mother. As usual, it felt so good being in her arms. He wished he could go back to being a little boy, when Loretta used to hold him, rocking him and singing his favorite songs. She kissed him on the cheek and pulled back. “Were you in the service?”

  “No, I didn’t quite make it to the service,” he said. “But I was in the area and wanted to say hello.”

  Jonathan had moved in closer and was standing behind Loretta. “What’s up, big brother?”

  “Nothing much, little brother.” David reached out to shake Jonathan’s hand. He hadn’t seen Jon since the last time his family tried to put him in rehab. He knew Jon was disappointed in him as well.

  Jonathan took David’s hand, then pulled him into an embrace. “Man, you better give me a hug.” David smiled and patted his brother’s back as they hugged. He pulled back and stared at his father, who was standing at the top of the steps.

  “Hey,” David said.

  “David.” Simon looked like he was sizing up his son. “I hope you’re not here to cause any problems.”

  “Simon, don’t be like that,” Loretta snapped. “We haven’t seen David in almost two months.”

  Simon crossed his arms. David couldn’t make out the look on his face.

  “Did you come to the house of the Lord to be cleansed?”

  Suddenly, David didn’t feel like coming over here was such a great idea. “I just wanted to say hi, that’s all. I didn’t want to cause any trouble.”

  David looked helplessly at Loretta, who had tears forming in her eyes. She reached out and rubbed his chin.

  “Baby, you don’t look so good. Come home and eat dinner with us. I made your favorite, oxtails and rice and green bean casserole. When’s the last time you had a decent meal?” Loretta said.

  David glanced back at his father. “I’m straight, Ma. I know Daddy doesn’t want me around and I want to respect his wishes.”

  Loretta kept her gaze on David, adjusting his shirt that was drooping off one shoulder. “You know how your father is. It’ll be okay. It’s just dinner. You have to eat. Plus, you can catch up with your brother. Ain’t that right, Simon?” Loretta finally turned to her husband, pleading with him to give in.

  “That’s okay, Ma,” David interjected once Simon didn’t respond. “I have stuff to do anyway.” David found himself fighting back tears. What he wouldn’t give just to sit down and have dinner with his family.

  “Please, David.”

  “You heard the boy. He got stuff to do,” Simon sternly said.

  Loretta shook her head as the tears started falling. “Look at what you’re doing, Simon. He’s reaching out. He’s trying and you just keep shutting him out.”

  David reached up and squeezed his mother’s hands. “It’s okay, Mama, don’t cry. Daddy’s right. I need to get myself together before I come back into your life.” David was trying hard to ward off the tears. “I gotta go.” He kissed Loretta on the forehead, then turned to Jonathan. “I’ll see you around, okay?”

  Jonathan nodded, his eyes misting as well.

  David stared at Simon one last time. “Bye.”

  Simon didn’t respond and David turned to walk away. “David?” Simon called out just as he made it to the sidewalk. Simon uncrossed his arms and walked over to his son. His look had softened and was actually etched with concern. “I hope you understand … I just … I just want better for you, that’s all. It hurts your mother …” Simon lowered his head. “It hurts me, to see you like this.” Simon took a deep breath. “Whenever you want some help. Whenever you really want to let those drugs go, you call me, okay?”

  David felt the tears trickling down his cheek. He could not believe what he was hearing. He wished he could just let the drugs go, just like that. He thought about even saying he would just so his father could accept him again. But he had been down that road before and he knew if he wanted to make things right, really right, he would have to seriously make some changes.

  “Thank you, Dad,” David responded. “You don’t know how much that means.” David gently wiped his eyes, nodded at his family, then turned and walked away from the church, a huge smile plastered across his face. “Maybe I really can let this stuff go,” he mumbled to himself.

  David knew that wouldn’t be easy, but now, more than ever, he knew he wanted to at least try.

  11

  RACHEL IGNORED the homeless man begging her for spare change. This neighborhood was going to the dogs. She remembered when she was growing up, the Fondren area was a nice place to live. The football player Warren Moon and the gospel singer Yolanda Adams used to make their homes there. But the proliferation of apartment buildings over the years had completely brought th
e area down. The corner store she was at had burglar bars all over the windows and the owner, Rashid, wouldn’t even open the doors after ten. You had to buy whatever you wanted through a small drawer.

  Rachel pushed her quarters into the pay phone and punched in Bobby’s phone number. She was still fuming about having to use the corner pay phone in the first place. Apparently, Bobby had blocked both her and her parents’ numbers because every time she tried to call him from either place, she got a message saying “calls not accepted.” She also knew he had Caller ID on his phone, which was another reason he wasn’t answering.

  She tried paging him and putting in 9-1-1, but even that hadn’t worked. What if something happened to Jordan? How was she supposed to get in touch with him then? She figured the only way he would answer was if he didn’t recognize the number.

  Sure enough, he picked up.

  “Hello.”

  Rachel took a deep breath to calm down. “Hi.”

  Bobby paused. “Rachel, what do you want?”

  “Don’t get all nasty with me. I just called to see how you were doing. I heard about Eric.”

  Twyla had told Rachel about Bobby’s best friend, Eric, killing himself. She didn’t really think black men committed suicide, but Eric sure enough did. Twyla said something about him and his girlfriend having a fight, things getting out of hand, and him shooting himself. Although she’d never wish anyone dead, she really didn’t care that much. Eric never liked her, so she definitely wasn’t sad about his death, but she needed a conversation piece with Bobby. “How are you holding up?”

  “I’m okay. Thanks for asking. Now what do you really want?”

  “I was just checking on you, that’s all.”