Seeking Sarah Read online

  I continued toying around with my ice cream, trying to keep my eavesdropping as inconspicuous as possible. After twenty minutes, they all rose to leave. I contemplated which one I should follow. I quickly assessed that I wasn’t about to confront my mother in front of her husband and daughter so I needed to follow the young man.

  Coward!

  I pushed away that little voice that was ready to fuel my fire and feed into the anger that was consuming me. No, I told myself. I wasn’t scared, well, not much. It’s just that I decided I would get more answers from the young man.

  I followed him into Barnes & Noble, which was two doors down from the ice cream shop.

  I browsed until I saw him put on a blue apron, grab a box of books, and head to the science fiction section.

  I took a deep breath and approached him. “Hi, can you give me a recommendation for a good book?” I asked.

  His dimples greeted me before he did. “I sure can.” He set the box down. “Depends on what you like to read. No, wait, let me guess.” He cocked his head like he was studying me. “You strike me as a fiction reader, but not some sappy romance.” He snapped his fingers. “I know, you like erotica.” He flashed a mischievous grin.

  I pushed my anger at my mother back and summoned my inner flirt. Of course, that would be completely disgusting if he turned out to be my brother, but I didn’t know how else to find out. “You had me pegged right the first time. Just simple contemporary fiction.”

  “You want something lighter or classics. I highly recommend one of my faves, Lolita Files’s Child of God. Or if you want something more militant, there’s Dwayne Smith’s Forty Acres.”

  “I’ll try Child of God, that sounds interesting.”

  “Follow me.” He headed over two rows. “It’s an older book and usually the stores don’t stock older titles but since this is a personal fave, I make sure it stays on the shelves.”

  I was impressed with his book knowledge.

  He went straight to the book and pulled it off the shelf. “You’re gonna love it,” he said, handing it to me.

  I took the book. “Thanks, ummm . . .” I leaned over to look for his name tag. “Alex.”

  “Yep, I’m Alex. And what’s your name?”

  “I’m Mona,” I replied. “Did I just see you next door at the ice cream shop?”

  “Oh, yeah, I was just in there. I ran in to see my peeps.”

  “I think I was leaving when you were coming in. Your mother sure is beautiful,” I said. I hoped I wasn’t being too obvious but I needed to see what I could find out.

  “Thanks, but that’s my stepmom. My mom died when I was little.”

  Relief swept through my body. “Oh. I’m sorry. I just assumed because she looks just like that little girl.”

  “My sister, Sunny.” He flashed a proud big-brother smile. “That is her daughter.”

  Her daughter. The sick feeling inside me intensified and once again, I was about to lose my balance. “Well, thank you for your help. I can’t wait to dive into this book.”

  “I’m here to serve.”

  I didn’t know what my plan was but I knew I needed to keep Alex close. I stopped just as I was about to turn. “Ummm, you wouldn’t happen to know of any book clubs in the area, would you? I’m new here and I’d love to meet up and talk with someone about the book.”

  He hesitated, then said, “Uhhh, I’m someone.”

  I smiled. That was too easy. “Well, give me your number. Maybe we can grab coffee and chat about the book once I’m done.”

  His eyes grew wide. “Wow. Yes. I’d love that. I’m sorry, I would’ve asked for your number but I just assumed a woman like you was taken.”

  “No, I’m very much single.” I smiled again. “But it’s just coffee.”

  He grinned like a child who’d just been caught sneaking cookies. “Right. Just coffee and a good book discussion.”

  And all the information I can gather, I thought as I handed him my phone to put his number in.

  CHAPTER 17

  * * *

  I’d turned into a stalker. For the past five days, I’d stalked my mother every day. I followed her to the grocery store. To work. To the gym. Five days. I’d halfheartedly worked. I’m sure Charlene was livid because I’d been giving her excuses but no results. But I just hadn’t been able to function. I was consumed with learning all I could about my mother.

  Maybe Trent was right. I’d become obsessed. I wanted to understand Sarah. I wanted to see what was it about this life that made her want to forget her other life. What made everyone she encountered think she was the best thing since the Internet. From the lady at the dry cleaners who raved about what a wonderful woman my mother was, to the parents at her school who told me how lucky they were to have her as principal. To Alex, whom I’d talked to three times since we’d met and who told me Sarah was the best thing that ever happened to him.

  If only all of them knew.

  But no one knew.

  And apparently, that was just the way Sarah Ford wanted it.

  Today, though, I’d planned to set aside my fascination with my mother’s re-created life and try to hear her valid explanation about why she just walked out of my life.

  My body shook in anticipation. I hadn’t planned to reveal myself in the middle of Starbucks, but I couldn’t wait any longer.

  When she’d dipped in the coffee shop this morning, instead of sitting in my car and watching her, I’d gotten out and followed her in. I don’t think I’d ever been this nervous in my life. I stood behind her in line, knowing that any minute now she’d turn around, our eyes would meet, and she’d burst into apologetic tears. I had played the scenario out in my head countless times. And each time ended differently. Sometimes she’d take me in her arms and beg me for her forgiveness. Other times she’d say, “Oh well, you found me, now leave me alone.”

  My mother slowly turned in my direction and I grew tense as I wondered which scenario was about to unfold.

  Her eyes met mine, and a smile formed on her lips. And a flutter passed through my heart.

  “Hi,” my mother said.

  “H-hi,” I replied, my voice just above a whisper.

  I was just opening my mouth to say, “It’s me, Brooke,” when she said, “Do you mind if I reach around you and grab one of those boxes out of the basket?”

  To say I was stunned would be an understatement. Her warm smile continued to greet me. I waited for a flash of recognition. When there was none, I stepped aside.

  “Thanks,” she said, reaching over me and picking up a box of hot chocolate. “My little girl loves this pumpkin spice cocoa.”

  With that, she turned back around and placed her order.

  THAT ENCOUNTER THIS MORNING had left me shaken, and unable to function most of the day. Sarah must have not gotten a good look at me. That’s what I’d been telling myself all day. I know I was a grown woman now, but how could a mother not know her child? I was seven when she had left. Granted, I was a plump little child with a pudgy face, but I wasn’t a baby. How could she not recognize me?

  “So did you enjoy the book?”

  Alex’s voice snapped me out of my thoughts. He’d been all too excited when I called and asked him to meet me for dinner to discuss the book. Of course, my mind hadn’t been on reading anything, but I had gone to Amazon to read some of the reviews just so we’d have something to talk about.

  My mother had left me baffled, riding the fine line between anger and hurt. All day long I’d been asking myself the same question: Did she really not recognize me or was she playing some kind of game?

  Now I didn’t know when or how would be the best way to confront her.

  What I did know, though, was that whatever my plan was going to be, it was going to involve the man sitting across from me.

  “Yes, you were so right. That opening scene where the baby was burning, man that was heart-wrenching.”

  “I know, right!” His passion for reading made my heart smile. “Ever
yone should know about this book. The author hasn’t released anything in a while, but hopefully, she’ll come out of her literary hole and write something else.”

  “You really are into books, huh?”

  His enthusiasm answered before he did. “I am. I always have been a voracious reader. My boys call me a nerd, but I just really love literature,” he continued before taking a deep bite of his mushroom burger.

  I don’t know what prompted me to ask my next question.

  “Can I ask, how old are you?”

  He stopped chewing, swallowed, then with a smile said, “Does it matter?”

  “Not really. You seem to be in your early twenties and it’s just rare to meet someone like you who is so intelligent and well versed.” I knew I was laying it on but I needed to butter him up if I was going to pump him for information.

  “I’m working on my master’s in American literature at Shaw University. Hence the bookstore.”

  “Wow, that’s fascinating,” I said, even though I had no idea what he planned to do with a literature degree.

  We made more small talk, and I was amazed because Alex was really good conversation. But getting him to say much about his family was proving more challenging than I thought. I was able to tell how much he adored Sarah, whom he called Mom. (I cringed every time he said that.)

  Alex was midsentence when he stopped talking, and his eyes darted away from the front door.

  “Oh, no.” A darkness spread over his eyes as he glared in the direction of the two women who had just walked in. “That’s Kara. My ex.”

  My eyes shifted down to his hands, where he had all but crushed the water bottle he’d been holding.

  I raised an eyebrow. “Are you okay?”

  He didn’t answer. Instead he just kept his eyes on the two women as they approached us.

  “Well if it isn’t psycho Alex,” the shorter woman said.

  “Jada, don’t be like that,” the other woman replied. Jada rolled her eyes.

  It was obvious the two of them were related because they had the same smooth features and light brown hair.

  “Sorry, Alex, you know how my sister is.” The woman’s voice was soothing.

  “It’s cool, Kara,” he said with an eerie calmness. “When your baby daddy runs off and marries his other baby mama, it can make you bitter.”

  “You know what . . .” Jada said, taking a step toward Alex.

  Kara stopped her just as Alex smirked and turned to me. “This is my friend, Mona.”

  Kara hesitated, like she just realized I was there. Then, with all the fakeness of Monopoly money, she said, “Oh, are you a relative?”

  Before I could answer, he said, “Why? You don’t think I could date someone like her?”

  Jada cackled. “Boy, please. She’s probably his customer, or a therapist.”

  I didn’t know who these women were, but I really didn’t like the way they were talking about Alex, so I spoke up. “Ummm, as a matter of fact, Alex and I are more than friends. We’re dating.” I covered his hands with mine.

  Both women looked skeptical. Alex himself seemed shocked.

  “And you would be?” I asked, a wide smile across my face.

  “I-I’m Kara, his ex.”

  I playfully slapped Alex’s hand. “You didn’t tell me you had an ex.”

  “Wow,” Kara said, obviously unintentionally because of the way she tried to immediately recover. “I mean, that’s nice.”

  “So you’re really here on a date with him?” Jada asked, like she still wasn’t believing it.

  I reached across the table and took his hands again. “Yes, Alex is the sweetest man I know.”

  Now his smile matched mine. I leaned in and stroked his cheek. I could tell the move made Kara sick.

  “I hate to say this, but I’m glad things didn’t work out between you two,” I said.

  “I’m calling bull,” Jada said, defiantly crossing her arms. “Or she doesn’t know you’re—”

  “Shut your face!” Alex screamed, jumping from his seat. “Or I’ll shut it for you!”

  The outburst caught us all by surprise because everyone—including the few customers around us—grew silent.

  Kara’s eyes were wide with fear, and the defiant cockiness that Jada bore just a few minutes ago was gone.

  “C-come on, sis, let’s go,” Jada said, her tone now filled with fear.

  Alex glared at them as they all but ran out of the restaurant. Within seconds, his brow relaxed and he exhaled. “So sorry about that,” he said, looking at me. “Jada and I do not get along and she really pushes my buttons.”

  I sat still, not knowing what to say. That outburst was frightening. But his whole demeanor now was like he was a different person.

  He set the crushed water bottle down on the table and continued: “Thank you so much for the whole dating thing, though. You have no idea how much that meant.”

  I managed to find my voice and said, “Uh . . . no problem. I just didn’t like the condescending way they were treating you, especially that Jada chick.”

  “That’s Kara’s protective sister. She never did like me and she fought me every step of the way. Always said she thought Kara could do better than me.”

  He turned solemn.

  “I really loved Kara, but . . .” His words trailed off, then he forced a smile. “Well, I owe you big-time,” he continued. “The look on Kara’s face was priceless because she thought I’d never be able to rebound after her. And I’m sure to see me with someone as beautiful as you had to mess with her. We should’ve kissed, that really would’ve blown her mind.” He released a laugh that under any other circumstances I would’ve found quite disturbing.

  Still, in that moment, I regretted the whole incident.

  Before I could say anything else, his phone rang. He glanced at the screen. “Excuse me for a second, I need to grab this.”

  I nodded.

  “What’s up, Pops? . . . No, it’s cool. I got you. I’m gonna need my money back. With interest . . . Yeah, it’s not like she’ll be surprised. You bring her a gift home every week . . . all right. I’ll talk to you soon.”

  He pressed END on his conversation and turned his attention back to me. “Sorry about that. My dad wants me to pick up some white roses for my mom on the way home.”

  “White roses?” I asked.

  “Yeah, he’s real sappy like that. But I guess that’s why she loves him like crazy. It’s sickening actually. I used to think it was all for show, because when I was young, it was like she was trying too hard, you know?” The corner of his lip turned upward. “But I guess that’s just how she is because regardless, I’ve never seen two people more in love.”

  “Well, aren’t y’all the epitome of black love?” I had so many more questions, but I couldn’t figure out how to bring them up without Alex questioning my prying.

  “That’s my parents,” he said. “They’re like the great American love story.”

  “Does that even exist?”

  He shrugged. “For my parents it does. When I tell you my mom has given her all to my dad, to us. There’s no doubt she loves this family.” He laughed. “My friend Eric’s father just cheated on his mom and the mom turned around and got her a side piece as well. I think if my dad ever stepped out on my mom—which he wouldn’t—you’d have to commit her to a mental hospital. It would literally crush her.”

  Alex abruptly stopped talking and that darkness passed back over his eyes. “I know a thing or two about how that feels myself. That’s why Kara and I aren’t together. She cheated on me, claimed the dude was just a study partner, but I knew better. I bet Jada hooked them up.” He said that like that piece of knowledge had just dawned on him.

  “Anyway,” he said, shaking his head like he was shaking off a bad memory, “I guess everyone isn’t meant to have the perfect love story.”

  His flip-flopping emotions made me uneasy and I decided it was time to make my exit.

  “Well, I’d bette
r get going,” I said, standing.

  He stood with me. “Can we get together again? I really enjoy talking to you, Mona.”

  My first instinct was to tell him, “Naw, I’m good,” but I had a feeling I would need Alex—at least until I figured this thing out with my mother. So I simply said, “Sounds like a plan. I’ll be in touch.”

  CHAPTER 18

  * * *

  No wonder my boss had been so willing to let me work out of the Atlanta office. The amount of backlogged projects was ridiculous. I’d been knee-deep in files all day. In fact, I hadn’t been able to do anything other than focus on work. A light tapping on my office door snapped me out of my work-induced haze.

  “Hi, Brooke,” the publicity assistant, Veronica, said. She’d been the one to greet me when I arrived. The poor girl—who couldn’t be any more than twenty-two—was so happy to see me. She’d been holding down the office since the abrupt resignation of the lead publicist.

  “Yes, Veronica?” I immediately took in her cute pastel peasant dress and Kate Spade flowered shoes. She may have not had the public relations down yet, but she definitely had the style.

  Veronica shifted from one pump to the other, then flashed a nervous smile. “Can I just say how happy we are to have you in this office. It has been so chaotic since Miss Angela left. And well, we really need you.”

  “Thank you. I’m happy to be here. I will start doing interviews on Friday, so you should have a permanent publicist soon. In the meantime”—I pointed to all the files on my desk—“I’m knocking out as much as I can.”

  “Great. Here’s another one. This notice that just came in. They wanted our firm to apply for a PR contract with the city of Atlanta. But we really don’t do that, do we? We are strictly celebrity clientele, right?”

  I was just about to say yes when it dawned on me what she’d just said.

  City of Atlanta.

  “May I see that?” I asked.

  She gladly handed me the notice and I began reading. “The City of Atlanta is looking for a Public Relations Firm to handle a new Forward Prosperity campaign,” I read. My eyes glossed over the rest of the copy, but came to a stop at the last line.