Goin' Down 1 Read online

  "Why would you even have to? I'll feel I'll lose my humanity, because my sexuality is who I am, and if I ignore it then I lose a part of who I am. We never lose our capacity to take pleasure in what is our God given right to enjoy. I have always enjoyed my sexuality and why, now I'm not about to give it up because society thinks that at a certain age we should?"

  "So you and what's his face do get it on?

  "Adam ... his name is Adam, and yes we do have sex. We fuck and we enjoy fucking quite often.” She smiled a smile that took years off her face. Suddenly Anna was seeing her friend as she was back in college; a woman who was bent on fully experiencing her world.

  "Does your father know?” Anna taunted, and giggled feeling as if they were teenagers again behind locked bedroom doors where they often whispered their most forbidden secrets.

  "Of course not and I certainly don't give him details,” Madeleine went on, removing a teabag from her cup and putting it into the saucer. “He never asks what I do, and I think he's a little bit glad that I have someone to fill the void. He tells me I'm a hell of a lot easier to live with. And frankly, I have to agree."

  Anna sighed. “I wish I could find someone like that.” Secretly wishing she could have more with elevator man then a sporadic rendezvous in of all things, an elevator.

  "Plus it is good exercise for both of us,” Madeleine continued. “Why it's equivalent to climbing a flight of stairs!"

  Anna wanted to laugh, but the sudden heaviness inside prevented any amount of gaiety from coming through. She wanted a relationship like that again, not a quickie every Tuesday when the elevator at 1500 Main Street suddenly went out of order.

  "It's like riding a bike ... you never forget.” Madeleine sipped her tea, and reached for an anisette cookie. “My mother taught me how to make these. Adam loves these when he comes over."

  "Does he stay over?"

  "Stay over?"

  "Here? Does he stay here with you, considering you live here with your father?"

  "No, that would be too uncomfortable for both of us. He ... I mean we prefer to go where there's no prying ears and prying eyes.” Madeleine laughed. “And we've found our special place. You wouldn't believe."

  "Oh?” She paused. “Where?"

  "Can't tell."

  "I saw the two of you once from a distance. From what I could tell, he's younger than us.” Then again her friend Madeleine had always looked younger than her forty-nine years, and could easily be mistaken for someone in her late thirties.

  "Yes, I'm finally what you call a cougar. Neat, don't you think?"

  "Yeah ... neat,” Anna responded. “How did you two meet?” she asked, realizing they had never really discussed Madeleine ‘new’ special friend in any depth.

  "You promise you won't laugh when I tell you."

  "I promise,” Anna said, feeling thirteen again.

  "We met inside an elevator."

  "An elevator? No shit? Here?” A flicker of surprise shot through her, and a sense of foreboding.

  "No, inside my accountant's building at 1500 Main Street."

  "Really? The same building as the foot doctor you recommended."

  "Why yes, I guess that's right."

  Suddenly, Madeleine seemed to avoid making direct eye contact as she dug her fork into her piece of cake.

  "And?"

  "And?

  "Tell me the rest.” Anna prodded.

  "It just happened. I mean usually when I take those things I'm looking straight ahead, and never connect with whoever else is in there unless I know them."

  Anna nodded as she finished her cake, suddenly needing the extra sugar.

  "But this time it was different. When our eyes connected, something happened between us, this electrical charge."

  Anna, finishing the first piece immediately, sliced off a second piece, all the time wondering if she even wanted it, and wondering more about Madeleine's elevator encounter.

  "I think we knew instantly there was chemistry between us."

  "And so you and he got it on inside the elevator?” Anna had to ask, ignoring the sickening that had started in the pit of her stomach, forcing a smile, even laughter.

  Only a coincidence. Only a coincidence.

  "Oh, not right away."

  Anna almost couldn't swallow her cake. “Not right away? Geesuz, I was only joking. Do you mean you eventually did get it on?"

  "The elevator got stuck between floors, and he could tell I was having a hard time with it, that I was starting to freak out because I knew I couldn't escape. He helped me through a panic attack."

  Oh God, no way can this be a fucking coincidence!

  "How long were you stuck?” Anna asked, squelching the nausea that rose.

  "Oh my, we were there at least a couple of hours. Lightning hit the generator it seemed and it didn't kick back on. So there we were, stuck inside that thing for what seemed like hours."

  "Madeleine you never told me about this. When did this happen?"

  "Oh I think three weeks ago at least, maybe four. I'm not sure. But it's been one hell of a summer so far.” She smiled, and bit into another anisette cookie. “Plus, I didn't think you'd want to hear about it, being that you were so preoccupied with your own troubles with your husband and your divorce becoming final."

  "Ex husband,” Anna corrected.

  "It just didn't seem important to go into details about how Adam and I met."

  And so you are willing to share them with me now? Anna looked at her friend, feeling disappointed. Here they were two older woman attracted to a younger man who had created a bond that had so far lasted for both of them several weeks.

  Several weeks he'd played them for fools

  "What did you two do during the whole time you were stuck?” Anna asked.

  "Well, I think he wanted to distract me from my fears so that I would focus on something else beside the panic attack. And he knew it would have to be something that could keep my attention."

  "He asked you about your fantasies, right?” Anna provided.

  Madeleine looked at her. “Well, yes. How did you know that?"

  "He wanted you to share your fantasies. How would I know that? Take a guess!"

  Madeleine did not respond, just sat there. Suddenly she started to put the cookies back into their tin. With the last cookie inside, she refocused on Anna. “Shit, don't you go telling me that you know this man!"

  "What do you think? Remember when I had that first appointment with your foot doctor?"

  "Well, yes...."

  "And where is his office again?"

  After a moment, Madeleine's face crumpled. “Fifteen hundred Main Street. Shit again! So you're telling me you met Adam inside the elevator?"

  "Yes, but he told me his name was Roman. Actually it was a pretend name ... so maybe yeah, his name is Adam or whatever."

  "Roman? Well, then it's probably not the same man,” her voice too hopeful, yet edged with panic.

  "Roman or Adam, does it make a difference? Besides how many men have you met in your lifetime inside an elevator who has asked you to share your fantasies with him?"

  Madeleine said nothing, seemingly unable or unwilling to respond at that point.

  "That's what I thought. Zilch. None. Roman asked me what my fantasies are."

  "And...."

  "At first I didn't quite know what he meant, or maybe I thought I'd heard him wrong. But being that he was quite straightforward about it, I would have had to have been a complete idiot not to know that he simply wanted to get off on them. Then again, so did I."

  "Get off?"

  "I'm guessing your Adam's interest is the same. Specifically for fantasies that we have thought about, but never have had the courage to play out in our own life."

  Madeleine shut the tin of anisette cookies with a firm hard click. “I wished you had told me about Roman long before this. You used to tell me everything Anna, ever since high school."

  "This isn't high school. And besides some of those f
antasies I used to share, well I made a lot of them up. I wanted to impress you."

  Despite this sudden revelation, Madeleine giggled. “Well, this isn't something you're making up. And if you want to know the truth, I kind of wish you were.” She hesitated. “Tell me, what was Roman's fantasy?"

  "Roman said he always fantasized about meeting a woman he didn't know and making her come inside an elevator, which really blew my mind. But I have to say, it made me forget all about my impending panic attack. That's when I started to see the possibilities, like actually doing it there with him. And telling myself, why not? I mean I simply didn't see any reason not to. It helped me move forward with my life."

  "And you did?” Madeleine lifted the carafe of coffee and refilled Anna's cup.

  "Yes, and we decided to meet in the same place that following Tuesday."

  "Inside that same elevator?"

  The angst in her friend's voice made Anna's own heart ache, knowing the betrayal that she was probably feeling.

  Still, these were fantasies, with neither committed to Roman or Adam, and vice versa. He'd simply played them both for fools.

  "And so do you still, I mean you know, live out those fantasies with Mr. Elevator Man?” Madeleine asked.

  Anna felt a sudden rise of guilt that threatened to fill and cloud her thinking. Suddenly, the cake left a strange bitter taste in her mouth. The smell of the anisette cookies that now lingered made her nauseous.

  And her silence gave Madeleine her answer.

  "There's nothing wrong in pretending, I guess?” Madeleine said as if to convince herself. “By the way, Adam thinks you're a very attractive woman. He spotted a photo of you and me in my living room, taken when you and I graduated college."

  "Geezus, you don't still keep that out, do you? I'm sure he didn't recognize me in that photo. It was taken so many years ago, and I was twenty pounds more than I am now."

  "I doubt if he did. He didn't say anymore than that he thought you were a good-looking broad."

  Anna winced. A broad. That was probably the way Roman viewed all the women he met, broads, stupid broads. Easily fooled, to be used for his own perverted pleasures.

  "Yeah, he liked your photo,” Madeleine repeated. “And I'm sure he will like you in person,” she added, a look of purpose suddenly coming into her eyes.

  "In person?” Anna reached over and re-opened the tin of anisette cookies, suddenly craving for more sweets. “What are you saying?"

  Madeleine clasped her hands around her cup, looked into the dark pooling brown liquid. “It is quite apparent that my Adam is obviously your Roman. And so he wants to play out his fantasies. He shared his latest with me the other night."

  Anna waited for her to go on.

  "Sex with two women inside an elevator.” Madeleine paused, sliced a huge chunk of chocolate cake for herself and with some decorum slammed it onto a plate. “I believe the only two people on this earth right now that could help him play out that fantasy is you my dear friend and moi.” She took the fork and broke off a large piece and shoved it into her mouth.

  Anna stared at her. “You don't mean you and I meet him in the elevator together?"

  All Madeleine could do was nod her head as she struggled to swallow the oversized piece.

  Silence filled the room, only the ticking of an Anniversary clock breaking the quietude.

  As the silence continued past that time where feelings of awkwardness started to slide in, Anna sensed she and Madeleine had reached a different bedroom door this time, one that if they opened it together it could lead them into a place where there would be no turning back.

  No lights out and then things returning to normal as they had done back in high school and college.

  No having to face another ordinary day, because based on what they decided to do now, their lives would change not only their present but also their future.

  Anna found herself shaking her head. “Ohhh, I don't know if I'm ready for that. Maybe we shouldn't.” She wrinkled her forehead, causing her eyes to squint. “Do you think we could? I mean, do you think you and I could pull this off?” The idea of revenge sent a surge inside of what could be taken for a modicum of hope. She had allowed herself to be a victim for so long, to be able to perform a little payback gave her a sense of empowerment, telling her perhaps she could have more control over some of the events in her life.

  "Look if you're uncomfortable, maybe you would prefer to just watch. But the fact that we're both inside that elevator with him...."

  Anna's hands tightened around her own cup. “Look on? You mean watch you and him going at it together? Could you even do that? Would you even want to?” Suddenly, she wished she had been the one to propose what Madeleine was proposing, except it would not be a ménage a trois per se. Still, she would have a part in it, and suddenly pictured Roman, aka Adam, getting his just desert.

  "If we do this, this will mean we will lose our fantasy. You will no longer have Adam. And I will no longer have Tuesdays with Roman. Are we willing to make that sacrifice?"

  Madeleine stared at her. “What do you think?” was all she said.

  A streak of lightning lit up the late afternoon sky. Anna could almost smell the ozone. She usually enjoyed thunderstorms, knowing how they left the air clean and breathable afterward.

  "How are we going to pull this off? People use those elevators. Sure, sometimes they get stuck. But I'm not about to ride up and down in one waiting for that to happen."

  Madeleine regarded her carefully. “Adam's good at figuring that stuff out. Remember he's the building manager, and he knows how to keep an elevator out of service for a time.” She giggled. “Plus we've both had enough practice at this, with none becoming the wiser."

  "What if they get someone to get it going and there's the two of us and him?"

  "Isn't that's part of his fantasy, doing us at the risk of detection?"

  "Yeah, no shit."

  "And, depending on what you're willing to take part in, it can be, to say the least, quite exhilarating."

  Anna shook her head. “I can't believe you and I are having this conversation."

  "But you're intrigued by it. I see it in your eyes. I'm even guessing what's going on inside your mind. That you're coming up with a few unique fantasies of your own to play out here."

  "Oh yeah ... like what?” A devilish tone entered her voice, and suddenly she was that precocious college student, making her way into the world through these sexual encounters.

  "I don't know exactly, but knowing you, let's say Roman, aka Adam, will not forget this fantasy anytime soon."

  Anna felt a hot flush rise up her cheeks and knew it had nothing to do with the hot flashes that had lately become more common than not.

  The giggles that followed broke out into an outright belly laugh that rang throughout the oversized apartment.

  "What's your schedule like next Tuesday?” Anna asked. “I'm meeting Roman at 1500 Main Street."

  "Don't worry, I'll cancel whatever I have scheduled. I'll be there."

  * * * *

  Moments later, as Anna rode the elevator down from the sixteenth floor she caught a reflection of herself in the shiny metal surface of the elevator doors.

  She looked at the button marked Down.

  Going down, she thought, going down. The words repeated in her mind, and suddenly she knew that next Tuesday she would live out one more fantasy at 1500 Main Street, when she and Madeleine would decide what to do with the likes of Roman, aka Adam.

  * * * *

  One week later:

  Madeleine and Anna walked into the lobby of 1500 Main Street. Both looking far younger than their years, wearing short denim shorts and tank tops that revealed more than they covered and rhinestone decorated flip-flops. Both carried large colorful bags, and looked if they were headed to the beach instead. Madeleine wore a wide brim hat that hid most of her face and large sunglasses that hid the rest.

  The first two elevators were in operation from the in
dicator lights that came on and off.

  As long as everything went according to plan, the third elevator they knew would soon become stuck between floors.

  When the doors to the third elevator opened, Anna got on. She looked out at Madeleine. “He gets on at the third floor."

  Madeleine nodded and said nothing.

  Anna returned the smile and as she straightened the elevator doors closed. She clutched the oversized handbag that contained more than a penlight and a folded paper bag. She pushed the button marked UP.

  The elevator stopped on the second floor, the doors opened and thankfully no one was there to get on. It then made its way to the third floor. Anna's heart pounded and she hoped she could see this through from start to finish. Madeleine was counting on her. She was counting on herself.

  The doors opened again—on time, and waiting there as usual was Roman, dressed in his customary black denim jeans, black tank top, wearing his eye patch, and smiling like a Cheshire cat.

  "Good morning, Storm!” he greeted.

  Anna smiled. “Hello, Roman!"

  The doors closed. The car rose.

  "Watch this!” Roman said. He pushed the button to the tenth floor, at the same time pushed the Close button. “This will bring us straight to the tenth floor."

  Shit!

  Anna watched as the numbers flashed knowing Madeleine was cursing as well, the elevator bypassing her on the fourth floor.

  Shit! Shit! Shit! Madeleine would now have to walk up six more flights of stairs.

  Meantime, she needed to keep Roman busy. Very busy!

  "Don't worry once we get to the tenth floor, we'll have plenty of time together,” he said in that smooth liquid voice that had her swooning days before.

  Anna flashed him a wide smile. “Oh, I'm counting on it."

  Anna kept her eyes on him. She felt a sudden sense of remorse and regret, knowing what she was now having to give up.

  "Tell me your fantasy,” she gently commanded.